so i just unloaded a nuclear cocktail of emotion that's

>>37344571
Can you tell us what you said and what happened?

>>37344571
post it friendo, im curious

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>>37344571

>so i just unloaded a nuclear cocktail of emotion that's been cooking for 6 years onto my oneitis.

Hope you enjoy never talking to her again boyo

>>37344571
>so i just unloaded a nuclear cocktail of emotion that's been cooking for 6 years onto my oneitis
That's ballsy at least

>>37344600
i want to - i really want to - but i feel like it should be kept private until she provides a response

but what i sent her was over 20 standard sms messages long so it will be worth the weight i promise

i can provide some context though. this girl and i went to this smart kid summer camp during elementary school. in 4th grade we became "boyfriend and girlfriend" but we went to different schools so outside of summer all we could do is call each other until she got a cell phone in 6th grade and we could text.

after 6th grade though we couldn't do the summer school any more so calling and texting and the occasional mms (picture) is all we had left during 7th and 8th grade

i had a few girls express interest in me then (although i was a bullied kid, so i think it was just a bunch of stacies pranking me) but when i told them i already have a girlfriend they asked about her and they were like "do you two even kiss or makeout? i bet you havent had sex either" and shit like that

now i believe i was pretty much always asexual. i had no desire to make out or fuck, just a desire to love and to not be alone

but peer pressure is a bitch. in 8th grade we finally got to meet up again in person. we went to hang out at a football game of the high school we would eventually attend. neither of us gave a rats ass about football i think.

after talking a bit the pressure induced thoughts urged me to kiss her. she didn't want to, and i took this to mean that she was lying this whole time (may have been, still no response yet. the text i sent covered a LOT of history) and i broke up with her.

we didnt talk again until high school. i don't want to cover that yet until i have my discussion. a lot of it gets into apparent traumas she and a few friends caused me that my therapists have said prevent me from forming any new friendships or romantic relationships without an intense feeling of mistrust.

i don't think its that dramatic but they went to school for this shit, not me

>>37344683
it will take some time. as i said i want to finish the conversation she and i will have first.

>>37344694
the reason i even sent it to her in the first place is because i cant deal with talking to her any more. i told her i couldnt any more and she asked why and if there's anything she could do to fix it. i asked her if she remembered anything from our early high school years (which is where a lot of shit happened) and she had the nerve to respond with "i dont remember anything from then" and that set me the fuck off

so this stemmed from not wanting to talk to her any more in the first place

>>37344734
thanks but not really, i just had to let leftover teenage angst take the wheel for a while.

>>37344855
>i just had to let leftover teenage angst take the wheel for a while.
You should probably apologize and send her that exact phrase as an explanation, it's a good one.

>>37344694
He's known her for 6 years, I'm sure he's done enough talking with her

>>37345180
eh, I'm not gonna apologize when I'm not sorry. I may not have told her all the things I needed to say until now (lies through omission) but I'm at least always honest in the things I do say. I'll give her the explanation, but i won't apologize.

>>37345258
this pretty fucking much. although i have known her for about a decade (a little more), since 4th grade. the 6 years is just how long it's been since a particular event happened

its just feels sad to abandon all of that but i dont even live in the same state any more. it is time to move on.

>>37345180
>>37345291
also alcohol. teenage angst and alcohol is a potent brew, the likes of which the greeks envisioned flowing in rivers in olympus

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she's not responding tonight, probably not ever. i'll make a new thread in the morning if she does

peace out brobots