i've had enough. for years i fantasized of the same things

Put me in the screencap moot xD

But seriously, I know how you feel OP, although I'm lucky to have found a few people I can relate to. I don't even find myself interesting though. I don't enjoy anything. Wonder why I'm still here.

You sounds like a more cynical version of me.

I always feel like I want to die but sometimes I have panic attacks were I literally feel like I'm dying and I want to live.

>i just want to meet someone interesting
>someone unpredictable
>someone weird
>someone different
>someone who isn't caught up in all the bullshit of the world
>someone i can just sit with for hours and talk to about the meaningless garbage inside our heads
>someone looking for the same thing as me
>someone who can understand

Now imagine this. You've met dozens of people thinking the exact same thing, but they've learned to not bother other people with their internal thoughts because most people don't care.

You seem a bit presumptuous to think everybody is shallow and normal. If I had to guess, growing up homeschooled and being poorly socialized has led you to not realize that most people hide their deepest thoughts and feelings because they've learned by experience that being vulnerable to people they don't know in a really intimate context leads to being mocked and taken advantage of in all sorts of different ways.

I was home schooled too. Always neat to bump into a fellow weirdo. I'm 28. It doesn't get better. We like dumb stuff, they like dumb stuff. They outnumber us autists.

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It has to do with fear, we are afraid of being destroyed mentally and emotionally but that is the risk we all take. We are all boring, we are all human, it's all shit. Nothing can change that. Take pleasure in the mediocrity of all of us. I am a virgin, in all sense, but I hold on to hope that there is something or someone. It makes me turn to true evil, it's all subjective. We are all no different, bored or suffering and even that is overused and stale, just like life, but fucking and all other drugs is all we have to keep us going. I am 2 40 oz King Cobras deep, and I am alone, part time job but I am happy because I am doing something.

>>37339871
>growing up homeschooled and being poorly socialized has led you to not realize that most people hide their deepest thoughts and feelings
this right here. OP you are cringe as fuck

homeschooling should be illegal

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>>37339871
that would make sense. up to now i've only learned about life from observance using the internet. sounds about right that my problem is indeed just all in my head. like usual.

the truth is, you people here are the closest to that ideal person i've ever been. something about the anonymity here just brings out the true genuineness of human beings. the dis-ingenuity and deceiving nature of most people disgusts me. it's a shame we're basically forced to act as such by society in order to survive.

the only thing that scares me now, is the unavoidable problem of boredom. if somehow i happened to develop a real relationship with a person i can connect with, is it really enough to give me a reason to keep living? i've grown bored of every other person i've met, even here, very quickly. who's to say that won't happen with someone like that, once we get close enough for that connection to happen? and if it does happen, then what? i don't have much else to live for.

maybe i'm just going off and complaining about a complete non-problem. maybe i'm the problem.
yeah, that would make a lot more sense.

>>37340135
wouldn't that have been nice. less weird whiny faggots like me in the world. something tells me i'd probably still be fucked either way though. even when i went to school for a short while before i started homeschooling, i didn't have much interest in other children anyways. i was always content with entertaining myself. maybe i should learn to rely on that again.

>>37338366
>
I am here for you OP and I am the bonny rotten poster, but it seems like you have your mind made up.

>>37338366
I've been on this site for ten years and have never related to a post as much as this one. I feel like I'm reading a post I forgot I made. Like you're some alternate universe version of me that decided to make this post. Was homeschooled in isolation my entire life, and when I went out into the world I found that everyone was boring and stupid. They couldn't understand half of the words I used, despite the words in question being extremely easy things, like "precarious" They repeat the same interests and conversation patterns as though they're not real. Like they're reprogrammed to talk about certain things.

>>37338366
Tell me something interesting right now OP.

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>>37340316
Good luck, you have no social skills, do anything. Push through. Take interest in literally anything. I am sorry you got fucked into homeschooling if it wasnt your choice. Loneliness is bliss, don't take it for granted. This is Bonnie posting.

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>really relate to this post
>Damn this shit kind of hits

Before we all realize OP is a fat asian lardboy who sits on 4chan all day and understand the fact that hes boring af 2.

>>37340682
op btfo

really

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>>37340656
Being intelligent or using the english language better than the foreigners in this country is just adjusting. These assholes are dumb, I have no friends, but I don't let it bother me. You are probably more boring than, well maybe not who know, these assholes are all boring. Fuck you if you judged me that way anyway, I want to be boring so you leave me alone and not say dumb shit which you probably do. Fuck me you guys are autistic, just stop caring so much, some dumb bitch will fuck you if you pay enough or pay enough attention. We have people who cheat on husbands in churches.

>>37338366
OP you sound underaged as shit lmao

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>>37338366
Want to meet somebody like this

>>37338366
It's insane how long it takes one to realize this. Day in day out like clockwork same conversations, same responses, same humor. It's all become so god damn predictable.

I'm so fucking tired of it all.

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>>37340682
everyone's perception of "interesting" is different, so it is unlikely that anything i find interesting would be interesting to you.
that's slightly interesting.
to me.

>>37340656
>>37340735
>>37341141
i know the whole "everyone else is an NPC but me" thing is usually considered as edgy garbage, but sometimes it really feels true. i notice a lot of things that people usually don't point out about other people. patterns. how someone who has this personality will react to this, how someone with this sense of humor will cope with that, how someone with that belief will argue against this.

hell, i could probably even find patterns in myself that correspond to my beliefs, personality, and general outlook on the world. that's just how our brains work. life isn't like a video game where every response is (or at least can be) interesting and unique, at least for the first time. our brains have certain dispositions, and they make us predictable. and that terrifies me.

>>37338366
don't make me cry bro.
>really tearing up reading this

>>37341438
>everyone's perception of "interesting" is different, so it is unlikely that anything i find interesting would be interesting to you. that's slightly interesting.to me.

thats a very long winded and edgy way to say you are boring

People sound like shallow robots because they are on the surface - if you want to really get to know someone like in your OP you need to bond well enough to push past that. It's nice to have a friend like that. I called her yesterday and we talked for an hour, I didn't even realize it until I hung up. We went out after that and just hung out and talked about everything and nothing.

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>>37338366
I know what you are feeling.

Sometimes I worry that I forgot how to understand. And that I became another boring person by spending all of my time worrying about things that were forced on me by society.

I want a friend like you describe, but I think that by now they would see me as just another drone. Because it's been so long that I don't remember how to do anything else.

>>37341652
this could be the answer. i have never known anyone for longer than a year - probably not even half. if i can just get past this stage of meaningless garbage robot talk i can get to their real person. the part of someone that isn't predictable. unless even that isn't enough.


>>37341714
>>37341602
but maybe the truth is, we are all boring. this expectation of others to be "interesting enough" where there might not be such a thing in reality could be the only real problem. who knows?

>>37341916
there are indeed people who are not boring. you are just one of the edgy ones who are.

Not even gay, but I wish I had a boyfriend so that I can have someone to watch my back and weather the storm of life,

>>37342077
You wish you were that solid rock on which she could depend on.

because you love her even though it's dangerous it's innocent.