This is going to sound v autistic but does anyone else rarely

Try using peoples' names more. They generally respond very well to it.

It's a neat technique you can use to get people to like you more.

>>37330660
For example my lab partner's name is Chelsea, yet I've never said it desu. I just usually go what's up or hey and then we start the lab.

>>37330674
Is there any special way to go about it?

>Hey Duru
Sounds kind of weird to me desu even though he's a nice guy.

>>37330674
Really? I try and use people's names in conversation sometimes but I read somewhere it can come off condescending

>>37330660
I feel intense discomfort when people call me by my name and I avoid calling others by their names at all cost. I'm literally autistic though, not just ironically autistic or figuratively autistic.

>>37331022
I actually don't mind it, I just feel like it comes across as too strong when I personally use people's names.

>>37330660
It feels like violating someone's personal space. When people start calling me by my name but they barely even know me if at all, I intentionally call them by the wrong name to send the message that they should fuck off.

>>37330660
I feel intense discomfort when calling other people by names.
Also, you have close friends? Faggot. How are you still here? Well, good for you i guess.

>>37331193
Only by very lucky circumstances, I went to boarding school and made some friends there. 2 years into college though and no friends at all, despite my roommates asking me to do shit I always politely refuse.

Also I'm obviously a virgin but I'm trying to change that, hence the thread.

>>37330660
Yeah.
It's a combination of me being bad with names and covering it up, and not really speaking often enough anyway.
I don't use people's names when speaking to them, I only do it to get their attention or if referring to a third party.

>>37330791
condescending comes from tone, not your words, Anon.

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I feel uncomfortable using another person's name, kind of how I don't like to hear others say my name. It's like eye contact, just way too intimate. Obviously we are talking to each other and not the person across the room so what is the purpose? I've been working on it though and like >>37330674 said it does work like a charm. I also don't like talking about my projects and achievements but other people don't have that issue regarding theirs. It's weird how the allistic brain is so different from our own. A weird blend of narcissism and blatant disregard of others personal space. They're the majority though so when in Rome...

I'm sure we seem just as strange to them.

>>37331395
This is the shit that pisses me off. People take issue with what I say and then later on change it to taking issue with my tone. Am I supposed to apologize for not talking like a badly dubbed anime character? They should stop trying to read into all the fake communication stuff because of course they'll find a reason to be upset if they go looking for it from the start. People should listen to what I say, not what color my underwear is while saying it or the angles formed between my fingers while holding a pen. All that extra shit is a rigged game. I'm convinced they don't know what any of it means either. It's easy to prove. Hand gestures don't mean anything save for a rare few like thumbs up or flipping the bird. Wave your arms around like a retard while talking and they'll magically become more engaged because they think everyone else knows your secret handflap language and they're embarrassed to appear out of the loop. It's pure madness that they think they are the normal ones.

>>37331673
You're 100% correct and civilized communication should only concern itself with the message your words convey, not how you embellish it with honorifics and god knows what, let alone body language. You're not fucking african songbirds so stop acting like one, fucking normies. Sadly, I've read somewhere that 70% of normie communication relies on nonverbal cues. We literally never had a chance despite being in the right.

>>37330660
I'm very much the same. I think I ended up like this because I'm bad at remembering names, so I got used to not using a person's name. I'm also not too good with faces, and sometimes a person would walk up to me and address me by my name and I would have no idea who they were.

>>37330660
I don't call people by name, because I have a hard time remembering people's names.

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>>37330660
I don't like to use names with my family and close friends. It's very uncomfortable for me and I'm mot sure why.

I'm fine with calling anyone else by their names though.

>>37331804
I often joke about this when it becomes clear I can't remember them. I ask them "Y'know how some people are bad with names but good with faces"? They all respond about the same but the punchline doesn't require anything specific. Once they reply I give a short variation of "I can't do either" or "I'm terrible with both". It's a nice way to cut the tension and a little self-deprecation so they know I'm not being an asshole and forgetting their name on purpose. Allistic are so full of themselves they think everyone must like them as much as they like themselves and anything less is tantamount to a vendetta. It really helps having little formulaic responses in dealing with them. I can't do that shit on the fly and at this point don't have the energy or desire to even try. I don't dislike them, I just can't be arsed to get anxious or stressed out over it anymore. I fell for the taoism meme a while back and even though I know it's a crock of shit I can't help but think it's good wisdom. Particularly the parts about Nature and Buddhism's mantra of nothing really mattress. I'm not about to go Walden on their asses or take up an ascetic lifestyle, but I've learn to not let them get to me anymore if that makes any sense. We will always be detached and broken in a sense, they just need to know it's not done out of spite or malice. Otherwise they will always find a way to make your problems theirs.

>>37332181
That bit sounds like something I would say as well. Like that one time in an English class when we did this activity to introduce ourselves by giving our names and something about ourselves, but we also had to say the name of every person before us. Instead of making it awkward, I made it funny by loudly whispering to the person next to me in a humorous fashion to ask for what the peoples names before me were, and then when I gave a fact about myself, I said I was bad at remembering names, and everyone laughed.

>>37332376
That sounds neurodivergent as hell

>>37332400
What is neurodivergent?

I'm comfortable with pretty much anyone that isn't a qt girl but I still very rarely use anyone's name that isn't a very close friend

It feels off but I don't know why

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>>37331412
>just way too intimate
Now that you put it that way, I unintentionally avoid anything intimate with people in public. I don't use their name unless needed, don't share my problems, and don't touch them. The odd thing is, I would like all these things but I just don't. Probably because deep down other people scare me.

>>37330660
I'm autistic, and that's true

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I'm too autistic to put my views into plain text, so I tried to illustrate my point.

>>37332446
It means you're a fucking spergola.

Same, because I forget them often

I never remembered the names of all my classmates and in a movie or game I can never recall the names, not even the protagonists

And it's never a good idea to ask for names of people you're friends with for months already

Hawlp

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>>37330660
I do the same thing, I just see names as titles irrelevant to the situation. People who seek to make their name known are attempting to sell themselves imo.
>>37334174
This was cool to read, and quite relevant to my current conundrum. Thanks for the effort anon!

>>37330791
Yep, especially if you repeat it a lot and nod your head a lot while doing it. Gives me such creep vibes.

Or when people try to give you one of those "strong handshakes" where they grab the back of your upper arm because they think it exudes dominance or some shit. Douche chills all around.

But I'm an autismo aswel desu so don't listen to me

>>37331022
I can never remember people's name because when I don't know them, I genuinely don't care. And then, once I get to know them a bit better and actually want to know their name, it's generally waay to late in your relationship to ask them what their name was.

>>37334901
>>37335162
oh snap ygujyblox

>>37330660
I NEVERRRRR USE names.
I rarely do it I mean.

If I am at work only.
It seems informal to address people.
With yo or other variations. Because that is all I do.

Saying another human's name is not natural to me.
I only do it for my boss or co workers.
Never anywhere else.

Any display of social intimacy makes me feel uncomfortable. Handshakes, names, smalltalk, smiling and body language in general. Just fucking get straight to the point or leave me alone. I'm not going to play your socializing game.

>>37334174
You are such a self centered fuck, holy shit.

In your view the "perfect" situation would be that a whole table of people would stop speaking and listen to your "well-formulated" point and say "well put Anon", give you handshakes and continue talking about what a great point Anon just made.

People don't like you, not because you're autistic, but because you're a douche.

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>>37335332
>You are such a self centered fuck, holy shit.
Says the guy attacking people he misunderstands on a Taiwanese flamingo rodeo board.
Obviously anon was illustrating that ideally he would at least be seen as equal and heard out.
>People don't like you, not because you're autistic, but because you're a douche.
What would you say the majority of your post comes off as? I'd say douchey.