The r9k House

Dibs on the basement.

>>37255434
please fucking do your dishes you absolute pricks

we have a fucking dishwasher you just need to put shit in there and turn it on what's so fucking hard

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>>37255434
NO ONE IS ALLOWED IN MY FUCKING ROOM UNLESS I SAY SO

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Why did you cum in my burrito anon? I specifically asked for one without cummies this time

>*shits on the floor*

>>37255453
Fuck that, basement is cool and sunless, perfect for sleeping in. We can share if you want.

I-I'm going to Mcdonalds does anyone want anything?

Gib me a bidet

*turns on the heat*
It's fucking cold in here.

>>37255434
Fuck, I think I may actually kill myself if that's the case.

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>>37255498
I'm already getting nuggies for everyone, anon

>>37255434
I want the attic room, they seem comfy.

>>37255494
Only if we cuddIe

>>37255498
20 chicken nuggets meal with an extra iced. Unsweet, and make everything large.

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>tfw if be hit on by ugly "fembots" from the girl dorm

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>>37255515
and holding Hands.

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Chad is coming over tonight so I'm going to drug myself up and get ready. Stay out of my room and don't try any funny business.

>>37255434
I thought this house got torn down by the chinese government

>*shoots up the place*

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Hey friends want to hear about the international banking cabal

>>37255486
surprised this wasn't the first thing that happened

>>37255538
psst, hey robots, lets all invade her room while Chad is fucking her...

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>>37255532
No grills aloud!

>>37255498
Try explaining to the cashier why you're ordering 40 twenty piece mc nuggets.

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Guys, who's slowing down the internet speeds?
Come on I'm trying to download my torrents.

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>>37255434
I summon Ancient Elf in attack position

Girls get the top floor and no men allowed

>>37255539
It did. OriginaI

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>>37255557
Yes anon! Please tell me! you will...wont you?

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>>37255591
You activated my trap card, sorry kiddo.

If you're going to use the coffee lounge, PLEASE respect the rules and DO NOT speak to anons until they've had their first cup!

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If anyone comes in my room, they'll get this shoved up their peener hole.

Is there a SINGLE bottle of shampoo that doesn't have cum in it?

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*releases the rape ape*

If anybody needs me I'll be in my pitch black room worshipping baphomet.

>>37255662
And if it's a grill, I'll shove it up their vjj slow and sensually.

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>>37255637
heh
not so fast!
Seven Tools of the Bandit!

>>37255434
soooo we have to use socks to wank or what?

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>>37255434
>jerks off with the door slightly open in the hopes that someone will casually poke their head in and catch me furiously beating my meat

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Who raided the pantry? I can't go foodshopping for all of you!

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>>37255667
NOT AGAIN

origaminal

*puts in ear plugs*

>>37255748
puts in buttplug/s

*cleans guns quietly in comfy upper loft*

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>>37255689
I DON'T HAVE A COUNTER COUNTER IN THIS DECK FUCK LET ME GET MY REAL DECK

*Opens tank of toilet and shits*
>Next time somebody flushes, shit water will go everywhere

Can we please have something for dinner other than fucking chicken tenders for once? It's been a month now and I think I'm getting sick.

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Is Kowloon /ourcity/?
When will the first NEET colony be built?

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nobody come up stairs I'm jackin it as hard as I can with the speakers on max

>>37255801
Its my turn to pick and i want tendies.

>>37255576
It's not as uncommon as you think, me and my buddies got 40 pieces all the time and the workers never acted like it was out of the ordinary,

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Consider this a warning to those that decide to use my stairs without paying the mandatory toll.

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Morning everyone. If you need me ill be drinking my morning joe on the patio. Don't even think about talking to me until ive finished my coffee. If you do, so help me god ill burn this house down.

>>37255801
Not a real robot. We will have tendies every night and enjoy it.

>>37255821
*walks in*
Oh shit, I'm sorry

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Im gonna open everyones door to ask a nothing question and never close it

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>>37255840
>working at maccas
>late shift so am only one making the food
>high af cunt rocks up
>"10 family dinner boxes pls"
>mfw

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>>37255872
Sorry, I didn't bother to hear what you said cause I was drinking a cup of my midnight joe, please don't try to talk with me again until I've finished my coffee.

>>37255801
Quit being selfish asshole think about the needs of others before just one person we live as a unit not as one I hope you die

>>37255891
He can't hear you anon.
OH SHIT I'M SORRY

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Ok robots what do you want mommy to make you for din din?

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YOU FUCKERS FORGOT THE DRINKS

>everyone's door is closed 24/7
come to condo 9k they said, you'll meet people with similar interests they said, make friends they said

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>>37255891
>be me
>decide to finally let my frustrations out
>all clothes off jerk it as hard as I can
>loli hentai blasting on speakers
>even told bunkmates to not disturb me
>bunkmate comes in
>"Oh shit, sorry Anon"
>he saw my loli porn
This is it, lads.

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"Is everyone cool with me taking a 40 min hot shower as everyone gets out of bed?"

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>>37255933
spegeti and nugies!

>>37255933
Fingers in my butt alamode

>>37255967
yeah go ahead man, I'll be taking my three hour warm shower later tonight
leave the lube in there, would ya?

>>37255958
You should've looked him in he eyes and said
>sorry for what? Our daddy taught us not to be ashamed of our dicks.

>>37255958
??? Everyone here has loli porn, it's no big deal anon.

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WHO THE FUCK KEEPS LEAVING THEIR DILDOS IN THE SHOWER. ENOUGH.

>>37255967
ANON I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL GET THE ARSONIST ANON AND WE'LL LIGHT YOU ON FIRE IN THE STREET

This is going to be the dirtiest, smelliest house of assholes ever.

*Knock* *Knock* *Knock* Housing Authority open up for your inspection!

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>>37255989
>>37255991
I made some watermelon sweeties, Ya want some?

Yeah, about the laundry in the hall, or should I say the clothing cavern, on floor 2
Could you fucking not? I'm getting a shovel and it's all going on the window on saturday I swear to fuck

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>>37255996
Leave the empty bottle you say?

>>37256060
but it's all over the ground now, how will we eat it?

>>37256067
JUST THROW IT AWAY WHEN IT'S EMPTY WHY DO YOU ALWAYS JUST LEAVE IT THERE REEEEEEEEEE

>>37256066
But anon that's where I dump my cum buckets.
What will I ejaculate into now?

>>37256060
Mommie you high again it's all dirty and smells like dad's mustache

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"Yes can I help you?"

>>37256066
>anon found the cumstain cave

>>37255434

>faggots talking about showering
>faggots talking about brushing teeth
>faggots talking about various hygiene related things they want to do in the /r9k/ house

Sorry faggots you are not real robots. Fuck off and go be homeless. In the /r9k/ house nobody showers, nobody talks to anybody, nobody cleans up the house or themselves
Instead we all kinda just talk to each other on this board without knowing who we are talking to.

>>37256116
OMFG DID THE REST OF YOU FUCKS KNOW THIS FAGGET LIVES HERE WITH US

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Fuckin' coffeefags. Hot chocolate is where it's at.

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Who the hell left their emergency murder-suicide rifle in the shower?!

>>37256116
uh I h-heard you can uh, buy me, uh I mean I'll pay for it but I uh, I was hoping to get a, you see there's this new l-loli ona but I can't figure out how to import uh, so I was hoping you could uhnevermindforgetit

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>tfw roommate left me for the normie nextdoor

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>>37256133
>anon posting this as he's crying and yelling
Come on, at least go to your room when your in this mood.

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NEET Island is a better idea

>>37256171

Who the fuck let /k/ into the house again? We told those /k/ommandos to stay in their underground survival bunkers.

>>37256188
sorry, but when I want a handjob I don't want to watch your animes for one after 13 episodes.

>>37256193

Speak coherent English for fuck sake. Please.

>tfw the suicide room is booked full all throughout the summer
Jesus christ this place is inconvenient

if everyone on /r9k/ were to be in it it would be like a sorority frat/bitch house where the most normie of parties will be held.

if it is populated by real robots it will be silent with the faint sound of pounding and weeping 24/7 and rhe allways would be ghost towns.

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Look what my gf brought me guys

How long do mcnuggies last unrefrigerated asking for a friend

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>smeared catfood outside all your doors
enjoy your scratching

>>37256252

Fucking this. So sad that normies try to be robots. Just fuck off this is the one place we can call home.

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>Oh hey robots, I'm just going to be staying in my little brother's room for a few weeks while he gets done with therapy.

>>37256274
Sorry but every cat that comes within 500ft of this house gets taken to the basement with me and some other anons, don't ask what we do with them all and don't complain about the smell please.

Hey wait if none of you brush your teeth who keeps stealing my toothbrushes

>>37256280
Read me a bedtime story.

Do you think it'd be a good idea if I bought a communal hampster cage that we take care of?

It's kind of like we're a degenerate, low tier frat. Anyone want to get blackout drunk?

>>37256306
The bristles feel good on my nutsack

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reminder that anime/avatar fagging is vain, sacrilegious and should not be done in the name of robot pain/ethics.

>>37255498
All the money from the cash register

>>37256317
you ever tried buttchugging anon?

>>37256314
someone would release it in less than a week

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>>37256306
I must have borrowed your's without returning it, here you go. Sorry if it's a little dirty.

Guys im a normie and dont feel like reading this long thread

someone fill me in and give me a room to crash in

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>>37256360
right this way my good sir, your room is all ready

>>37256360
Go to the basement tell cat anon we sent you lol

Have you guys heard about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

Has anyone seen my snake?

>>37256360
You can stay with me, don't mind the cat carcasses. Just push them off the spare bed they should be fully mummified by now. Oh and the smell is coming from the anal cavity of one of them.

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>>37256388
*walks in* hey guys, mind if i feel in he-
>sees pic related
*walks out*

>>37256388
I haven't seen in it in a while but I do know it ate the hamster

>>37256420
>robot found the chad chamber

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I found this in the closet, which one of you was it?

>>37256422
if it ate the hamster that means my cat must have eaten the snake.

>>37256360

Sure thing. There's a spare dog house we use to put our pet femboys in you can sleep in it for a night. Out tomorrow though or you'll be shot.

>>37256433
dibs no touching it's mine IT'S MINE REEEE

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Which one of you fucks keeps blasting anime music at 6 in the fucking morning?

I don't care about the smell. I don't care about the drugs. I don't care about the constant talking people out of suicide.

But if you nerds don't stop blasting your GODDAMN FUCKING CHINESE CARTOONS AT 3 IN THE MORNING, I'M CALLING THE COPS

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>>37256453
b-but i'm not a /k/ommando. but i do have this neat "fidget spinner" i'd like to show him, hehe

>>37256473
Not me, I do it at 2:30 am.

>>37256473
that's not music it's this>>37255958

>>37256473
>implying robot's don't keep to themselves

https://youtu.be/8xH633lltXY

>>37256383
Not really but I think I saw him kissing with some men before, and some really disturbing masochist things.
When do we have this kind of nasty orgies ?

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Hello sir I'm selling Girl Scout Cookies, would you like to buy some?

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Who wants to lan minecraft?

anon please let me talk to you again
everyone has dragon cocks, that's not what I'm asking about, I just want to know how you converted it to a bong

Knock knock knock knock knock knock hello knock knock anyone home knock knock girl scouts here we are selling girl scouts cookies for a fundraiser to help mutilated animals in the area

>>37256522
i bet one of you depraved fuckers would grow a testicle and grab a little girl and fuck all of us over.

>>37256522
>>37256549
ugh, who is the recipient of the girlscout'o'gram strippers this time

>>37256549
GO AWAY I DON'T HAVE YOUR CAT STOP ASKING

I'm a clingy and obsessive guy, will anyone be my mommy gf?

>>37256546
Wait this is a dragon dildo I'm smoking out of

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>>37255469
Sorry anon we have to share rooms there's not enough for us all to have our own

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>>37256580
>smoking

REEEEEEEE DEGENERATE GET OUT

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>>37256522
Yes I'll take 2 boxes of Lemon Snickerdoodles please

*hands $10*

Thanks you

*closes door*

HEY FAGGOTS I GOT COOKIES!

>>37256522
>opening the door this wide for anybody

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>>37256549
I-I'll buy three boxes if you give me the panties your wearing right know.

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*spies on you pooping*

The /r9k/ House was filmed in front of a live audience.

>>37256600
Fuck's sake, anon, we need more than 2 boxes!

>>37256600
Hey anon, heard you got cookies.
Give me a box and I won't come into your room tonight for the nightly struggle snuggles.

>>37256600
I will trade you one memecoin for those cookies

>>37256615
I don't know why you're doing this, I'm not that attractive

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>>37256615
>people keep trying to peep my wiener

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>>37256624
>>37256621
Sorry guys the cookies are all mine

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>>37256619
>lights and camera shin on us
>(robots) "hmm" "hm" hm"

>>37256639
Maybe your shit is attractive, then.

>>37256522
Got any of the mint ones?

>>37256647
That won't stop me, bastard

>>37256600
>Door closes
>Walk around back of the house
>Takes off girl scout costume
>Walk into basement
>Cat anon we got anymore empty girl scout cookie boxes left

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KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Excuse me but may I have just a moment of your time to inform you of the word of our good lord?

>>37256665
Yeah man, he's so great, praise Allah

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>>37256665
nobody's home FUCK OFF REEEEEEEEE

>>37256663
I got a dead litter of kittens if that's what you mean by a box.

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Whoever keeps screaming about your lux int feeding at 3 in the morning im gonna find you and jizz in your computer

>>37256665
get the fuck off my property before I kick you down and shit in your mouth.

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>>37255663
Not anymore
Hope you like cummies in your hair

>>37256665
Please come in let me show you to the basement I think there's cookies

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I've actually lived in a mansion with 80 other dudes before and it's not too bad.
The social stigma usually makes everyone behave relatively normally. Of course, there are ground rules like, no violence, no doing drugs, and no stealing otherwise you'll get kicked out

Chef Excellence's delivery guy here
Unfortunately, if you're over 300 lbs, I am still not allowed to serve you a third helping directly to your room.
Please stop reeing at me every day it wasn't my decision. No I can't give you twice as many tendies for the first two helpings, you'll have to come downstairs if you want more.
Seriously stop reeeing at me

>>37255663
Give me those bottles, I'm drinking it all!

>>37256704
storytime
unless you were in the gay version of the playboy house, in which case, no story pls

>>37256707
*Throws shit at chef* reeeeeeee

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Hey guys, just a warning.

If you see bottles like these in my room, they are not lemonade haha

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>>37256522
>Sure! Why don't you come inside to discuss the transaction?

Guys, who keeps trying to unlock the cages in the basement? I told you my animals do not have feelings stop trying to free them.
Also the bear traps with catfood on them are missing.

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If there is a weird smell coming from my room it is totally NOT my shit bucket that needs changing

>>37256735
Can I have these anon they will be perfect for my lemonpissykitten doodles I have a big order coming up

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>Knock knock, it's the stripper pizza man!

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>someone knocks on my room door
>asks about my meyers briggs and if I'm a girl

>>37256766
sorry, had to borrow some of them
luckily cats aren't the only things that like catfood

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>living with reddit9k
>even once

>commits suicide in the living room

>>37256723
It was just this giant building that used to be an orphanage that a bunch of guys lived in. I wanted to move out of my parents house and discovered the place and they let me live there.
There were about maybe 20 rooms with four beds per room and 4 giant lockers per room. if someone acted out or broke any of the ground rules and we agreed they should leave, then we'd just grab their shit out the locker, throw it all into bags and tell them to gtfo.

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>>37255591
I summon Dark Magician Girl
on my dick

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Guys, I sent my sister downstairs to get a drink for me half an hour ago what's goi-

Oh what the fuck

>>37256892
Surprised it took this long desu. Guess it's the not living room now haha

>>37256906
She asked for it. We were all playing melee and she stepped on the cable, turning off the console.

I was winning too. Fucking bitch.

>>37256906
go away I'm about to get the bread knife and wooden ladle.

>>37256896
sounds potentially cool
why leave, no privacy?

>>37255481
Source?
Origanopfh

>>37256952
It was probably full of queers lmao

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guys if you hear loud ambient music coming from the bathroom, just dont come closer, it will be best for both of us

>>37255530
>unsweet tea
We can't be friends

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ONE OF YOU LAZY FUCKS NEEDS TO GO MOW THE LAWN ALREADY

>>37257019
We have a lawn?

>>37257019
just give me some gasoline and i'll do it

>>37257019
NO THATS HAY FOR THE HORSE WE ARE SAVING UP FOR FAGGET

>>37257019
I uh you see uh I kinda got uh um, well you know.. uh I think. Yeah I need to use the bathroom and after that I need to get some sleep, been up all night you know? Ok goodnight anon

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who is trying to sacrifice my doggo?

>>37257019
I told Jorge to do it ten times already! If he doesn't do it this time, I am hanging him right next to his brother!

If anyone hears yelps from a dog just ignore it.

>>37256952
>why leave, no privacy?
Pretty much. Plus, for a bunch of guys, there was always way too much drama and gossiping. Too much testosterone too. There was a lot of great camaraderie and good feels but sharing bathrooms with everyone and shit, was gross and there was black mold on the kitchen walls and stuff. It was a weird experience.

I realized after a short time that i'd much rather live with mom and dad than a big mansion with 80 dudes.
But, like i said, the camaraderie was probably the best part. No one was really a dick to each other and we had like, house meetings and stuff. The Chads would help the weak guys get buff. Lots of sharing of stuff and helping out each other.
>>37256978
There were some queers. Mostly straight guys though

>>37257079
was actually trying to transmute it, but I fucked up the outer circle and couldn't remember the right center sign and was faded so I was like ehhh fuckit I'm sure satan will get the general idea, then I fell asleep

>>37257079
not me, using cats.

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Guys please don't touch this ok? It's my science project for school.

>>37257137
too late it's got daddy's cummies in there

>>37257137
you should've warned us earlier

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>>37257165
>>37257159
What did you fuckers do!?

I was trying to make us artificial gfs!!!!

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>decided to leave my room and go down to the main floor to get some frozen tendies
>jizz stains all over the floor
>like 10 different robots blasting hentai or some shit and whacking off with their doors wide open
>everything smells like cigarettes and chlorine
>why is this doorknob so loose?
>someone tied up a roast in the kitchen and an anon was beating her ass with a spatula
>get my tendies and on the way back some see a robot carrying a couple of limp cats into the basement
>someone actually fucking killed themselves in the living room in the time it took me to walk to the kitchen and back

Im not coming back down lads. Its fucking tribal down there.

>>37257137
is it dead? can I take the body to my room?

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>>37257179
You may have made a woman, but I made her a woman

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>>37257179
oops haha the hammer slipped out of my hand while I was doing renovations!

Fuck sakes it's 3 AM please stop blasting death grips I'm trying to sleep

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SMASH TOURNEY
winner gets his own bathroom. nobody else can use it but him.

>>37257181
hey those cats were alive when I was bringing them inside, just for the record.
just heavily drugged.

>>37257222
>locks in fox
Heh, nice try kid

>>37257222
*unzips jigglypuff*

>tfw you pull house pussy role in the gay dorms for the second week but never get laid anyway because everyone's a bottom

>>37257222
can i use my classical zeebo controller?

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Who's ever dog this belongs to, can you please come get him out of my room?

He keeps peeing in my empty ramen bowls.

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fair warning, someone mailed me this with a note to play it at max volume at 4AM, and I'm totally going to do it

>>37257250
meet my in my toom with some lube

>>37257259
I'll take him, he seems pretty chill

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>>37257259
hehe thanks for finding my dog anon. hehe hes a good boy isnt he. hehe im going to go give him a little bath heehee

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*locks room and puts on skirt*

>>37257258
maybe in the project m tourney, does zeebo have Gamecube controllers?

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Guys...Why isn't anyone untying my sister?............Guys?


I'LL CALL THE FUCKING COPS, I'LL DO IT, UNTIE HER RIGHT NOW

>>37257259
https://youtu.be/7gWbBZ7hFYY?t=26s

>>37257291
c-can I come in?

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>blasts nigger music at 3 AM
>sub shakes whole floor and rooms above and below mine
I'm not sorry.

>>37257291
Hey, anon, open up!

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>>37257297
NOT SO FAST FRIENDO

>>37257291
*fapping insanely while spying on the door lock*

>>37257297
I already stitched a cat tail on her ass because I wanted a qt cat gf

>>37257291
>walks past 3 guys huddled around your door on my way to refill my tendie bowl

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>walk in anons room and see this

Wat do

>>37257354
Tickle his balls

>>37257366
Who's balls?

>>37256148
Hot chocolate is for children

>>37257354
spill my hot cum

>>37257354
I'd go and fetch my sterilization kit.

>>37255434
This sounds like hell. Death is preferable to living in a house with hundreds of people who all love to intentionally piss people off.

why does this place smell like squid in every room, all the time

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>>37257324
>>37257342
>dodges hammer and unties sister
>calls cops

FUCK ALL OF YOU GUYS, HOPE YOU ALL GO UNDER

>starts running out of house with sister

>>37257402
>Grabs automatic dildo launcher
NOT SO FAST

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what you mean you found this in my room? it's not mine, you can't prove it

>>37257400
ask the 3 guys jerking it outside the other guy's door

>>37257402
Where ever you go, what ever you do, nothing will change the fact that I stuck a single marble up her ass covered in my spit.

>>37257460
*smells*
This smells like your dick, anon.

alright children
janitor here

rules
>no shitting and pissing outside of the toilet
>no drugs
>niggers do no niggering
>no guns
>raping allowed but only if the girl enjoys it
>no hoarding, no littering in your rooms

break the rules and you are out
happy neeting little shits

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>patiently waits for one of the decent looking /fit/ robots to either start flirting with me or just throw me up against a wall and have their way with me

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Ah shit its late and im going to bed. I would turn off the lights but someone jizzed all over the light switches so they are all gummed up...just another night in paradise.

>>37257501
maybe if you'd stop hanging out with the failed chads on the top floor and enforced those rules/cleaned anything I wouldn't be hacking my way through the used tissue forest right now

>>37257510
are you a qt feminine boy. if not i dont care

>>37257510
i'm afraid the walls may break

>>37257510
there should really be a way to signal this

>>37257501
*Shits in your bed*

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>>37257402
Just where do you think you're going?

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KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK


POLICE DEPARTMENT! WE'VE RECEIVED A REPORT OF A YOUNG WOMAN BEING TIED UP INSIDE HERE!!! OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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>>37257501
>no guns allowed

>>37257540
Maybe
Is being 5'8 and 120 lbs a good starting point?

>>37257612
SHIT!
IT WASNT ME OFFICER, IM GAY

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>>37257612
Come now officer I had nothing to do with this,see?
Only criminals have dubs,right anons?

>>37257612
>What's the password?
I can't let you in otherwise desu

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>>37257612
Oops ssorry not sorry

>>37257612
Hurry officers come down to the basement

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>>37257612
You may have a report of a kidnapping, but do you have a warrant?

ok lads let's do this properly
every robot gets their own room unless they want to share
i'll make sure each room has two jacks, one connected to fibre internet, the other connected to the houses internal network
for those suffering from extreme social anxiety you can communicate on an internal dedicated IRC / chat and order tendies delivered through the cat flap installed in your bedroom door

>>37257612
um, there is no woman here, we're just bunch of friends living together, no need for any escalations sir

>>37257680
How will I charge my vibrator?

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>>37257612
OFFICERS COME QUICK

THEIR IN HERE

THEY DID IT

GET THEM

I'LL TALK! I'LL SNITCH! I'M A WITNESS! I'VE GOT NAMES!

OFFICERS HURRY! THEIR THREATENING ME THIS VERY MOMENT!

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What is the ratio of men to women in this house?

>>37257680
>order tendies delivered through the cat flap installed in your bedroom door
Is this what catanon is doing? Training the cats to deliver tendies? I have more respect for him now. I thought he was a creep that did gross things to them.

>>37257701
each room also has electricity of course silly anon
however if you want your own personal room refrigerator you either need to fund it yourself or get put on a list for a minifridge

>>37257724
No grills allowed!
rooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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>>37257722
WHATRE YOU DOING ANON?!
DONT MAKE ME SHOOT!

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Who's dog is this? Found it in the dishwasher.

>>37257724
Idk but if there are women then they'd probably get passed around like the collection plate at a church

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So I'm gonna play runescape in my room for 12 hours a day. But on the plus side I'll be making grilled tendies for the health conscious!

>>37257724
I think ones left heavily sedated in one anons closet but idk

>>37257762
That's mine. His name is Fortunate Son

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Evening roac- er I mean robots, I'm your new roommate. Don't mind me I tend to keep to myself, so I'm sure we'll get along. See ya later...

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>>37256697
come find me, bitch

>>37257795
>grilled tendies
Y-you should leave anon.

>>37257795
GTFO we just got kittytender service

>>37257806
T1, you are too alpha to be in the betahouse

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>>37257808
B-but on a strict diet of tendies I can handle all those carbs!

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Alright, Anon tell me everything you know

Listen I know you didn't do anything wrong, I know you didn't tie that poor girl up, but SOMEBODY did, and if you tell me what you know we can all get outta here and go home

>>37257836
>implying your meant to die of old age in this house
Tendies or suicide anon,it's the only way this house can support everyone.

>>37256479
Is it bad i own THE EXACTmodel of this knife for those reasons

>>37257638
guess we have a fucktoy in the house?

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Hey guys it's me, laundry-lad. So I just finished washing everyone's dirty clothes and found these bills in the machine.

I'm an honest guy so I'll leave it here on the table for whoever it belongs to.

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i'm making tea, someone want some?

>>37257855
>>37257855
>talking to the police without a lawyer
>ending up getting hauled off because someone needs to make quota
>implying

>>37257877
Heh nothin personal
*grabs it all to buy anime figures*

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>>37257860
It was not my goal but you forced my hand, with great tendies comes great responsibility and I must use it reach my final form

>>37257901
HEY THAT WAS MY MONEY

Guys I want to live in such a house
I've currently got 3 others on the short list
We need more people to move in

>>37257896
Ikr we should lead them to the basement and feed them to the cats

>>37256735

you're dehydrated, anon.

drink moar water

>>37257919
Y-you too
*hand over cash*

>>37257936
>drink moar water
>falling for the estrogen jew

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have you seen my pet carlos?

>>37257927
What's the address?

Origamily

>>37257963

>>37257963

>>37257963

Lets continue the antics here lads

>>37257914
Anon,we were like brothers,but you know what happens to those that break house rules.
Nothing personal.
*cries single tear*
*unsheathes blade of tears*

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WHO KEEPS CUMMING ON ME WHILE I SLEEP

STOP IT

>>37256906
She hasn't finished her eggs yet.

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>mfw using anon's fleshlight and dildos when he's in the shower
>mfw humping anon's pillow and cumming on it when he's in the kitchen

>>37258196
I'd be fucking that slutty anon that's been begging for dick if I were yyou

>>37257628
pack your shit american retard, you are going to be homeless

>>37258536
this is an american mansion

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>>37255891
Sorry for what?

origg

>>37256479
Literally just bought this knife today
And i Paid $50 for it at the store when I could of got it for $25 online fuck

This is the best thread in ages.

oregano

>>37258888
Why don't people actually do this though?

Parents could agree with each other to dunk their NEETS in some big house so they socialize with each other instead of suffering mind crippling isolation.
Pooling a bit of money they'd get rid of their neets, giving them a small allowance and so. It'd be fun as hell too.

>>37258888
Holy shit quads confirm!
>>37259006
Let's be real. We'd probably spend every day in our room playing vidya and watching anime.

>>37259087
>Let's be real. We'd probably spend every day in our room playing vidya and watching anime.
I don't think so. Other than his own fears (which are overcome eventually), the main obstacle of the robot to socialization is living at his parent's house at an advanced age, which is a socially ostracizing thing. Remove this and the robots would begin interacting with each other sooner or later enough to form a social hierarchy on which I would be on the top. ;^)[/spoiler[

>>37259006

Some people are actually.

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2015/11/coliving/414531/

>>37259312
I don't know, some people have gone beyond robot into magic territory
Hell even when I lived with a lot of relatively normal people they didn't have any reason to leave their rooms because they wouldn't have come back to their rooms at all if they wanted someone to talk to, they would have just stayed out.
"sooner or later" doesn't take into account how short the eventual conversations would probably be
I'm not convinced it would be much less depressing than that was, unless a lot of us really really wanted a fucking friend and were willing to actually talk to the people around us, which is a stretch.
What exactly would prompt the formation of a social structure? Division of tendie resources?

>>37255801
ANON ANON HE'S A CRYER!
CHICKEN TENDIES ARE WHAT WE DESIRE!

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>tfw imagining all the gay little girly cock suckers being tied thigh to thigh in a giant circle while the fat NEETs with stinky cocks pump them full of cum 24/7 on a workshift rotation

>>37255434
Please stop stealing my used panties anon. That was my last pair and now I have to wear these grandma ones till I buy new ones!! Also stop calling me a roastie :( it hurts my feelings.

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Who said they wanted to watch Evangelion?

>>37256549
>girl scouts found the mutilation chamber

>>37257179
you still can. but now they'll have my cummies inside them

>>37257460
ok then I'll take it if it's not yours

>>37257888
fugg yeah robro pass that shit

>>37255469
Shut the fuck up you roleplaying autist

I'm going out for weed anyone want anything?

>>37260385
yes. weed.