Does anyone else play Russian roulette in the morning after they

>>37209971
I play it in the sense that I sleep in and don't try to start the day early. This cuts my likelihood of success down by a little bit. In the looooooooooooooong run I might kill myself because I am not successful, so I'm playing an abstract and kind of stupid form of RR.

>>37210013
That's cool. I play with a loaded .45 magnum. My fate renews my spark every morning and in return I feed the flame.

I don't play russian roulette but sometimes I'll put one of my handguns to my head. Idk it releases some of the tension I guess.

The way the turn to get on my street is angled, if you just drove straight you would hit a telephone pole and every day after work I floor it before the turn to see how close I can get to hitting the pole. Usually this game of chicken is enough to give me some energy and worse case scenario I die so, it's a win win

>>37210106
What in the fuck is a .45 magnum?

this is how most mornings go

>think how id love to fall over dead but too pussy to risk living through a shotgun in the mouth
>think about what shooting myself might feel like
>worry if i did it id be revived and live as a vegetable
>think if i broke my phone and went into some woods my parents own a town over to do it id probably die since no one would be able to cone quick
>still too pussy
>go smoke a cigarette and get some water

would a hand gun to the side ofvthe head work? id be terrified id live and that id be paralyzed, have a huge hospital bill and my parents hate me because my mom said one time "if you ever kill yourself id be so smaned mad id find you in heaven and beat you" even though heaven is of course bot real this tells me shed have no sympathy if i shot myself

if i have 12 gauge 00 buck shot and go 45degrees up in the mouth would i die instantly? should i still do this in total seclusion in the woods or would doing it outside even though i live in a subdivision neighbors to a fire station be a bad idea since they cpuld revive me?

what will you do if you lose though

>>37210511
Die, in an originally original fashion.

>>37210559
doesnt sound like a game worth playing.
life gets better, anon. whatever you're going through just know that everything's going to be alright

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>>37210588

Life is a a constant. No matter your current perception, it will remain a continuous illusion masking your vision and perpetuating the lie. The lie that life is meaningless and goodness is an invention.

There is only nothing.

>>37210782
life does have meaning
>finding your soulmate
>getting married
>having kids
>getting your dream job
>all of those various hobbies you wish to get better at
it all has meaning

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>playing Russian roulette for longer than a week

>>37210863
Yeah, but is this all we are destined to do, work long hours, get married, have children and then what? Is this all there is. An empty life filled with false pretenses.

>>37211201
>and then what?
well it's not like you have to do all of that stuff. you can do whatever you want
that's the point! <3

>>37211256
Yes, but I'm stuck on what I want to do; things I used to do in the past aren't as enjoyable anymore to me and my lack of ambition is leading to me not working as hard anymore as if I had given up. Nihilism is a dangerous thing sometimes.

>>37211311
do you have any goals or at least anything you want?

>>37211201
you sound like someone who could use a little time outdoors.

>>37211356
I aspire to be a physicist, but I'm having problems in university math at the moment since I procrastinate too often, and I've never heard of a physicist who is bad at math.

>>37211359
Yeah probably, I spend too much time solitude

>>37211410
out of curiosity, why a physicist?

>>37211461
Just something I've been wanting to do as it peaked my interest the most compared to my other career choices, primarily I wanted to study in Astrophysics

>>37211483
oh i see. you're down because you're failing. you should seek a mentor or some adderall.
im sure some success or at least some progress in general will cheer you up