>milf wants my cummies >virgin >she thinks im some virle

>>37163770
If by "end up like my Japanese anime" you mean you somehow manage to bungle something that's simple and assured then don't worry about it :^)

>>37163770
Post convos you fuck.

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>>37163807
take her from me anon. my skinny manlet ass can't handle that

>>37163770
>No proof

Put up or shut up

>>37163847
I don't want a succubus devouring what little youth and vitality I have left anon. Accept your fate or hope the ecchi Gods look upon you with pity and spare your life through a convoluted and embarrassing accident or misunderstanding.

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>>37163770
I don't believe you OP, but what I will say; Don't fuck it up. Only get one chance at Death by SnuSnu

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>>37163825
>>37163850
my top line was "I hope you're merciful to me during the pounding". I have the body of a middle school boy and she said shes tall and lifts.

>>37163924
working on nudes for you senpai

Heather Erven Steele
facebook heather.e.steele
twitter haeshorty
instagram haeshorty

>>37164268
Are you OP?

Oriel

>>37164305
Nah, she's just super easy to find. Who the fuck puts basically their whole identity on a dating profile, and then doesn't make their normiebook private?

Someone should tell her OP has Herpes.

>>37164268
I don't think OP would willingly dox his tinder date on 4chan. I think OP will probably get cucked now.

>>37164268
Oof, you didn't even give me a chance to start the timer buddy. That was record time.

>>37164355
>>37164330
Robots are too autistic for Tinder. Why did he even bother

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>>37164330
OP here should i not go for it. im a scrawny kiddo and nervous af. Pls help

>>37164268
lol bro this bitch is swoleeeeee

>>37163770
Where the fuck are the nudes at? Judging from her FB, she's easy as shit and should provide nudes upon request.

Couple tips

1) She's almost certainly NOT going to look as good as the pic, or her IG pics, so remember that's a CEILING

2) Don't act like too much of a fag. By this I mean, don't let your autism take over and get to "into" the role as a sub. In factyou shouldn't even be indulging that. Your physical look is probably enough to satisfy this fantasy for her.

>>37163770
>literally said she wants to /ss/ roleplay
What's /ss/?

>>37163770
You fucking normie. Fuck off. You don't belong here, and I fucking hate you.

>>37163770
You better fuck her and call her mommy, you lucky duck. Don't forget about us when you become a normie.

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OP you better come back and greentext all the details for us...assuming you haven't died of a crushed pelvis or are locked up in her rape surgeon

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>>37164268
Sent her this thread and it was marked as read. Also told her what kind of people this website holds.
You will forever remain a virgin, OP.

>>37166259
Shes gonna have one of those micropenis clits.

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>>37166327
>>37164268

>tfw /r9k/ has gone from encouraging and assisting others in reaching for normiehood to just trapping everyone here out of spite

>>37166392
Buckets in a crab, my friend.

Fuck you doxxers. I feel so bad for you OP.

Keep trying, you'll make it eventually.

I feel for OP but he fucked up hard by humblebragging here about MILF pussy. Should have just kept it to himself but he just had to brag about it.

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>>37166327
What exactly did you say?
>>37166854
>>37166888
its fine. ill still give nudes. I love you guys even if some of you for some reason hate me. Robros for life.

have a gondola for your troubles m8

>>37166327
I WANT TO EAT SKELETON BEEF

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>>37166960
op nvm she unmatched. idk why you guys didnt want nudes but it beats me.

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>>37166327
yoy are goingi to hel for that

>>37167164
Don't want her nudes. Just wish I could get my own matches.

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>>37167223
that was my only match.....i feel you. well time turn on the ol porno and beat my meat to anri okita yet again......
>tfw no milf to fuck

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Tinder bread? I got a match with a girl who has a picture of two cats (presumably hers) as her first pic. Would "I mainly swiped for the cats, can you put them on?" be a good opener?

>>37167379
"u want sum fuk?" would be better imo

>>37167379
No, you fucking sperge. How clueless are you?

>>37167379
what the fuck do you even mean? she's a catfag; that's your clue on what to say first.

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>>37167412
>go on /r9k/
>complain when people are autistic

>>37167379
>can you put them on

What did he mean by this

No really what does that actually fucking mean

>>37167525
"Can you give your phone to your cats (so I can talk to them instead of you)?"is probably what he meant

>>37163770
She is a coalburner. Are you a negro, OP?

>>37167379
Try " love pussies, i wish i had one too"

>>37167633
Doesn't work in my native tongue. Any other ideas? Her bio basically contains the following
>can't cook
>good at cleaning

>>37167608
She might also be a pedophile and have issues with her son.

>>37167658
What's your native tongue?

>>37167658
Sheeet, I don't need your cooking because I'll just be eating your pussy

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>>37167716
Finnish
100% original maemmi post

>>37163770
looks like a dude
careful OP

>>37167658
i cook you clean
i bark you meow
come on dont be mean
date me right neow

>>37164468
youre throwing away living life if you pass that up

>>37167736
Considering how bi-curious your average robot is, OP would probably just like it more

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>>37167764
>mfw hook up with a tinder slut
>mfw she has a penis

>>37167731
"I want to go to a movie vitt u"

>>37167782
> Brag about it on Uzbekistan goat herding forum

>>37167805
It was a joke retard
origano

>>37164268
you done goofed OP, or maybe you wanted this all along. Who knows how OP's brain works.

>>37167743
>>37167633
How about "I mostly swiped right for the first picture, are your cats free tonight?" ? I'm on tinder mostly for the shitposting

>>37164268
Why does every normie nowadays have an instagram? Wasn't this intended for celebs?

>>37167731
>Cat got my tongue

That actually works in Finnish too.

>>37163770
are you going to at least post the sexy talk OP, you know if it exists ?

>>37163770
If true, you're one lucky son of a bitch.

>tfw you will never procreate with the female equivalent of Hercules
>tfw your offspring will not have the superior Amazonian genetics of their mother
>tfw OP cucked himself out of having some great sex with a muscular dominate milf

OP she isn't much to look at in the face but she's got a rocking body and she looks like the type to pin you down, you will never feed her your skin flavoured sausage now you've made this thread

>>37163770
I am unbelievably jealous of you, OP. Part of me wants to cry, part of me wants to fap.

>>37167379
I'd talk to you with that line. try it out

>>37168606
The way I see it, there's a 100% chance of not having sex with her if I don't send any message, so even a simple "Hi" will provide better odds. Ended up sending her "I swiped right mostly for the cats. Can you ask them if they had any plans for friday? (emoji)".

I know its fucking autistic, but I'm in it for the shitposts

HOLY SHIT OP CHARGE YOUR FUCKING PHONE!

>>37168237
He got fucked over because the assholes on this board doxxed his date and got to her and she unmatched. Give him your sympathy, anon

>>37168744
no sympathy because he could have been balls deep in some MILF if he simply didn't post here like a retard

>>37168801
He should have censored obvious details like her first name and the name of the company she owns. Its a shame too, she was ridiculously hot.

>>37168744
If he's enough of a newfag to do that, he's enough of a newfag to learn the consequences.

>>37163770
>>literally said she wants to /ss/ roleplay with me cause im shorter and weaker than her
I don't believe you. I might have, but then you went and took a mile.

>>37166496
>>37166392
Yeah
>how dare he find a milf
>i must fuck this up for him

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>>37167379 and >>37168678 here, code red
She replied with a .gif of a cat putting its paw infront of its mouth and the message "Are you asking me out? (sunglasses emoji)"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCYgfW6aLeg

What do?

>>37169221
How much of a newfag must someone be to not know that 4chan has a concentration of people who are dicks just for the sake of being dicks? OP should have been more careful, end of story

>>37167865
Why would it be only for celebs dingus? Who would follow them if not their own fans?

>>37169254
no, like I said, I want the cats omg are all women this stupid? lol... or is it you, cat?

>>37169315
nah but srsly im sry I can't be of help here

>>37164268
>haeshorty
>That IG

WEW LAD.

This bitch might eat you alive. This is a seasoned roastie. You'd probably learn more about sex from her in one hour than you could fucking a 20 year old stacey for 6 months.

Go for it. She is surely using you but use right back.

And fucking hell that info was way too easy to get.

>>37169359
I just hit her with "If its the cat writing, then yes (silly emoji). (first name of the girl) can come too as a chaperone if she wants" (not literally what I sent, but you get the idea)

>>37169254
I would probably say something like "I guess I am [some emoji]", but I doubt it's a good one.

>>37167865
Celebs were used to make it popular initially, but then celebs themselves really took to it and started using it instead of twitter and the masses followed. Basically, IG took over a lot of what people initially used Twitter for, and its abuse blocking settings are a lot better.

Another year passes and another year twitter is reminded just how fucking stupid it was to not but Instagram. Even now I can't believe Facebook only got it for $1 billion.

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Looks like shes already been....

>>37169423
or alternatively "only if you take your cats", but again I doubt it's good one

>>37169307
>>37169424
I primarily meant why normies actually uploaded stuff and attention whored there. Having an acc and posting comments is a whole other thing.

>>37169545
Normies attention whore everywhere. IG just makes doing that the easiest.

>>37163770
where do i get milf gf? i'm a virgin cute boy and want to have sex with a milf.

>>37169601
All cities have bars where old people like to go. Just figure out what bars those are and go there

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>>37164268
HAESHORTY=BLACKED

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>>37169418
Okay, she replied with
"Only if you treat them well.Better take them to a five star restaurant. Their curfew is 9pm and you can pick them up with a limo at 5pm. Ps (cat's name) can sometimes be cranky so you might wanna respect its personal space"

I might have gone too far in a few places

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OP dodged a bullet

>>37169739
Reply "Do those rules apply to a date with you as well? (Wink emoji)"

>>37163770
Do it and if you live in her area move away and never come back to not have to withstand the embarrassment.

>>37169778
The ebarrasment of what? Her bods rockin like a geodude.

>>37169760
She replied with "I'm not that demanding (laugh cry emoji)". I was thinking of replying "Thank god, I've been spending way too much on limo rides lately". Y/N?

>>37169855
Fine then set it up. You've bantered enough.

>>37169870
While I was posting here she said "We could just start with pizza and games" ("games" meaning video games").

Anyways, sent her
>"Thank god, I've been spending way too much on limo rides lately (sweat laugh emoji)"
>"You probably didn't have any plans on saturday?"
I don't think I've ever texted (or said) anything this chad-like before

>>37163770
That's a really old face. She shouldn't be dressed like, that at a place like, or behaving like that.

>>37169917
Looking good dude, keep us posted

>its a OP doesn't know the importance of censoring personal details and loses the oppoturnity of a lifetime episode

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HAHAHAHHAHA FUCK THIS WORLD

>>37169917
way to go dude, you seem to have this talking quite figured out (laugh sweat emoji)

>>37169939
lol this, you can tell she was cute once. women really age like shit

>>37169966
She suggested friday. This is good, right? Hit her back with "Sure, what games were you thinking of?"

>>37170017
Thank you famalam (black thumbs up emoji). I wish 4chan didn't filter out emoji so I could shitpost more graphically

>>37170048
OP's "milf" in particular aged horribly. She's supposed to be 44 but she looks late 50s.

And if >>37166259 is her body, she's got a very masculine body. That's the body of a 40-50 year-old man who works out but can't afford gyno surgery.

>>37170101
considering the fact that she's trying to act as young as possible and "relive her youth" she probably spent every night of her youth drunk and on various drugs.

you reap what you sow

>>37170081
Yeah that's good, her suggesting an alternative date by herself shows she's genuinely interested

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NlGGERLOVER

But amigo it's so easy to dox I know where she lives I know she owns a gym with the being "ALL STEELE FITNESS" most likely in the state she graduated from its like it would be so simple to find her work email and then send this thread there or a screen cap of it

>>37170420
I hate this part of life. How do people live knowing that they can so easily be doxxed?

>>37170420
People already found her social media profiles and sent the thread to her. She unmatched OP

>>37170187
MELANIN ENRICHENED

>fitness
>420
Pick one and only one.

>>37171199

Michael Phelps is a fat loser shit

so we're just going to ignore how we ruined a fellow robots chance of ascending

>>37171235
Michael Phelps uses steroids. Your argument is invalid. Look at how Zyzz got his physique despite the shittiest diet amd routine. And look where he is now: dead.

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>>37171199
Does weed kill gains or something?

>>37171349
How often do you know people who just consume it via edibles or vaporizes it? Smoke irritates the lungs, harms blood vessels, restricts them, thus prevents more blood from reaching the muscles preventing recovery. It's why you add cardio--it helps facilitate recovery via capillarization.

>>37171430
Does your asshole ever get jealous of your mouth? Because of all the shit that comes out of it...

>>37171430
Don't a lot of people use bongs though?

Assuming you're legit, OP... My god, you are fucking retarded.

You scored a date with an entrepreneurial (gym owner) woman with a top tier body and decades of experience, and instead of letting her deflower you and have your V-card ford breakfast, you fucking doxx her on 4chan.


You dumb motherfucker.

Do you honestly think she hasn't just received a dozen messages telling her what a loser you are?

>>37171500
I bet you believe that cardio ruins gains?

>>37171513
Only reduces the harm.

Go for it OP. Its only your pelvis