ITT: Embarrassing TRUE greentexts >be me >be a stoner

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HA, that's what you get for using drugs, you fucking loser.

>>37054878
>be a drug addict and get treated as such
Sounds like he taught you an invaluable lesson

>going to class high
Your own fault. Waste of a high and waste of time. You might as well not even have gone and enjoyed your high

>>37054933
this desu senpai

i wouldve went edge and called him a cuck and REE'd off

>>37054878
Sounds like you have schizophrenia. I went through something similar when I was high.

i would literally shoot em up if this happened to me

>>37055554
missed the GET by one sorry

>>37055555

I've got one that's certainly more personal embarrassment, but I don't think it's ever going to leave my mind.
>be around 10 years old, didn't have a whole lot of friends
>met a group of really nice people on HL2:DM, eventually found my way to roleplay servers where they hung out
>really hit it off with a 13 year old kid, we start messaging on steam a lot and occasionally voice chatting in addition to playing on the same servers because hey we're both kids
>he starts getting really personal, tells me that he's gay but i'm 10 so i don't give a fuck about that
>buys me gmod and CoD4, tells me that he set up a gmod server 'for friends' and that i should check it out
>it's running a map full of gay porn
>he's assumed that my squeaker voice means that i'm gay
>in my infinite wisdom, i decide to fucking go along with it because hey free games
>he fucking sends me a dick pic over skype
>fast forward a month
>parents find said dick pic in skype logs along with all his attempts at cybering
>assume (logically) that this is a pedo
>got banned from playing any form of online-enabled games for years
He fucking found me on Facebook a while back (not a pedo I guess), messaging asking if I was the same person, promptly blocked him, I had almost repressed those memories. They come flowing back at random, I physically fucking cringe at the thought of them.

>be 11, no friends so my mom starts up field trip Fridays with the other moms at our church
>it's just trips to boring museums in the area
>go on one with a kid who later became a Chad type (popular football player etc)
>going okay, our moms decides he'll come over to our house to watch a movie
>watching movie sitting next to each other on the couch
>try to remember how to make friends
>joke a bit about the movie, it's going well
>remember a boys and girls of America commercial with a clip of two kids smiling and one putting an arm around the others shoulders
>do so, feels weird but decide to just roll with it
>withdraw thirty minutes later
>he always avoids me after that

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>>37054878
>Be me.
>Drunk every day for O week
>Drunk every day week 1 through week 8
>So drunk I once went into my lecture an hour earlier
>Sat through whole hour of a different degrees lecture because I was too autistic and drunk to walk out without making a scene
>oh fuck it's a Bachelor of Social Work
>Lecturer asks a question "So what sort of clients do we have that are involuntary?"
>points at me
>ohfuckno.jpg
>"Uhh umm, people in prison or on welfare?"
>Lecturer smiles
>"Yes, very good Anon! I can tell you've done your readings"
>tfw I haven't done my readings and I'm not even enrolled in that degree

>Friend really pushes me and my bf to try a threesome with her
>bf reluctant but I give in to peer pressure and feel I want it
>Eventually convince him to try it
>Think it's going to be fun for me to do stuff with my friend, and nice for bf to get both of us
>Things started ok at first but friend got unexpectedly mean and forceful, and her and bf clearly started doing more together
>I end up sidelined and just trying to be involved in any way but she keeps butting me out or making me do menial stuff
>Start getting upset but don't want to ruin it, feel heartbroken seeing how much my bf is enjoying it and quietly start crying when he climaxes with her
>Friend notices and after makes me give her oral with my bf's stuff inside her

It just got worse after that but the first time was the most embarassing.

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>be 33
>still post on 4chan

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>>37057878
Thats on you for convincing your bf to do that shit lol wow. obv a terrible idea, which i hope you now know in hindsight

>>37057878
you deserve to be crucified you fuckin rostie. get the fuck off this board

>>37054878
>not just claiming you had allergies and were fucked up on antihistamines
Guess you were too high to be smart

>>37057878
You actually did it more than once? Jesus. You've got to learn how to stand up for yourself.

Why even bother going to class if you're high. I genuinely don't understand.

>>37057792
>Yes, very good Anon!
I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but I still want to believe

>>37057878
neck yourself, roastie

>>37057792


Damn, walking into wrong lectures is always a thrill, I even started doing it for shits and giggles at some point.

>med engi and have to get to some anatomy lecture
>sit in the wrong room, but do not suspect anything until lecture actually starts
>"hey guys welcome to the labour law course"
>I am retarded so I sat at the place right at the end, no way to get out without awkwardly shuffling my way through a whole row of students
>guess I am caught now
>spend the first ten minutes sweating profusely and begging that this is not some active course which even takes attendance
>it isn't and I calm down, might aswell enjoy it
>tfw actually hear some usefull stuff
>tfw actually discover some law loopholes I did not know about before
>tfw the lecture probably paid off more than the anatomy lecture which is a carbon copy of a book anyway

>>37058183
I wonder if anyone even knows you don't belong there or if they think you're just one of those guys that never attends the lectures?

>>37058209


They probably don't, here the lectures are mostly voluntary, you have different people there every day.
The only people I ever noticed attending were my m8s and some girls who got my dick hard and I suspect that it is the same for others. I heavily doubt anyone ever noticed me.

>>37057878
hott stuff

>>37057878
>she is still bouncing on this inconsiderate chads dick

Why do you think your problems are relevant to us you roastie vermin?

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>be me, week three of first year of uni
>smoke up before class, everything's chill
>learn about Heraklitus and his philosophical views on the monetary system
>professor picks out someone to give an example of a trading commodity
>he answers watermelons, something apparently found in that region and that time
>he gets praise for his smart answer and the prof says he now needs a second crop as example for his lecture
>picks me
> I, kinda zoning out, ask him "Excuse me, what?"
>"just give me an example of a crop to cultivate, anon"
> I freeze, I never spoke for the whole auditorium before
> I mutter out "...p...potatoes?"
>seriously the first thing to come to mind
>the professor bursts out laughing as does the whole auditorium
>uses the example of potatoes te whole lecture
>calls me potatoman the whole lecture
>everyone in that class starts to call me potatoman
>even starts to spread around campus
>mfw when I get called potatoman for the rest of the year
>mfw I drop out and go to college

>>37056651
this made me spit my tea. bless your soul anon.

>>37055721
That's pretty much straight molestation. Been there.

>>37057878
I'm a girl and this really turned me on... BUt im not sure who I want to self insert as more you or the other girl.

>>37059855
Yeah, I knew I was too old to do the whole play date or sleepover thing to make friends but didn't understand in what contexts my peers socialized (or how they socialized) outside of school.

>>37055501
Tell us the story senpai desu

>>37058272
Hot stuff to do with my parents

>>37059300
Tfw potatoman

>>37054878
why didn't you get up and beat him?

>>37060109
This. You should have just slapped the head of him for disrespecting you. What country are you from where you let that fly?

>be me
>go to bed
>really appreciate the opportunity
>nut get a job

>>37054878
that's terrible man. i'm sorry that happened.

you should have said you had some medical condition that makes your eyes look like that so you could get him fired for discrimination

>>37057886
>Onii-chan, I'm cumming from my eyeball pussies!
That's some transcended shit.

Come back in a few years. Lots will be posting until the day they die.

>>37054878
>can't hide high
what a faggot lol
going to lecture high is stupid. I did it so much before but never again