Has anyone on /r9k/ ever been to an asian massage parlor? How

>>36991722
I'm too scared to try one! But I want an oily massage handjob. How do you work up the courage? Will they do it on a younger guy?

>>36991722
Let me share a little secret with you, none of the asian girls who work at parlors are the sexy hot girls you see on porn videos, they're mostly old ugly hags

>>36991722
Ugly girl gave me a shitty hand job with way too much oil. She looked like she wanted to kill me or something and I didn't even come. Fuck don't try it

I've always kinda wanted to, I've got yellow fever bad.

I see escorts all the time but I only want to see independent girls. I'm super weirded out by the thought of trafficking.

Can any other Johnfags chime in and let us know how you find a legit place?

You have to know and speak the passcode so they know you aren't there to bust them.

I think it's "lotus grass" this weekend.

File: Mere Christianity.jpg (73KB, 638x479px) Image search: [Google]

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I hope you don't creep upon the underworld of the abyss and awaken the 6 Demonlords who each rule 1/6 of the 666 sections which make up the 666666 areas of Hades Divided Infinity Gauntlet... Counting sheep for an infinity numbered years is an unimaginable task to those who do great evil, but readily imageable to the good-doers of the Guarded Overpass upon The 777 Staired Spiral Stairway upon which the 7777777 Legions of Readiness giveth death upon.

>>36991853

Nm, passcode this week is "wandering waif".

Say the passcode during the appointment if you want extras.

Yeah I've been maybe a dozen or so times. Both full service and not. Full service place with a young, pretty Korean girl. Was pretty great only went once though.

Other places were just comfy places to get a massage and a quick hand job afterwards. The women were older, but none hideous and they are always such sweethearts it's really just a nice soothing experience from beginning to end.

Don't go if you are looking just to get off. You'll be disappointed.

>>36991988
Any tips on finding the place & etiquette?

Do you have to strongly hint that you're there for a HJ, or do they just reach for it?

Also, did you ever get a secret menu (beyond the HJ/FS menu)? I keep hearing about Dallas AMPs where the girls regularly go full raw with creampie.

>>36992051
Once I was convinced it was going through with it I spent the $15 to access rubmaps and do my research.

But in general the best way to gauge if youre going into a place blind is just start rubbing the girls thighs while she's working on you. If she pulls away you won't be getting anything. If she let's you roam her body you'll definitely get a happy ending.

Do they do oral or is it just handjobs or sex?

>>36992235

I think they let you do oral.

>>36992235

$40 for handjob/blowjob
$200+ for sex

They may object to a blowjob if they don't know how clean you are or if you recently urinated (don't want that urine taste). Or if the oils they use aren't good for ingesting.

>>36992235

They usually put a condom on you before they start giving you a blowjob and sex.

Anyone from the UK have experience with these? There's one near me but it's not Asian.

So if a 'thai massage' place opens up and it has classy art on the walls, is it above board or what? I don't want to make a fool of myself.

>>36992463
Good places give you a table shower before hand anyway.

>>36991722
Besides rub maps how do you know if a place is a "massage parlor?"

I live near Koreatown in Los Angeles and there's so many massage places I don't know which ones are real massages and what places are sexual

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Best sex I ever had was with a 45 year old chinese hooker named Vivian. She left my city 5 years ago but I still jack off to her.

She used to tell me to "make a baby cum inside" we never used protection and she had an orgasm every time I came inside her.

The massage was heaven, rubbing her nipples down my back and eating my ass. I wish I could see her now. I'd go every week.

I got myself tested years ago and I was fine.

>>36992674
Your best bet is going to be the places that cover their windows entirely so you can't see in at all anywhere.

i heard them laughing at my swc in the back. left without tipping.

>>36992511
Is there any chance they wouldn't? Though I'm sure those places would eithe rbe obscenely expensive or lowest of low-rent.

>>36991722
Who is this girl?

Yeah yeah

>>36992567
Look it up and make sure.

>>36993552
I wouldn't know how to, and I'd be very uneasy to anyway. I was thinking I might just go round there one day. Worst case scenario I get a nice massage.

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Has anyone been rejected for being too ugly. I'm a max 6/10. I have a pretty big benis but I am self-conscious about my pancake nipples.

>>36994557
As long as you don't look diseased it's probably fine

>>36994596
Are you sure?

With a complimentary original message.

>>36994684
Do you think people who are used to dealing with overweight middle-aged men give a fuck about your nipples

>>36991722
I dated a fat fembot with a body like this

>>36992682
>She had an orgasm every time I came inside of her.
Could've just been faking it. Seems unlikely that she would always cum at the same time as you.

God damn I live in fuckin shithole. There's not even asians where I live! Can't get porn-treatment.

Where do I go to see if there's one near me?

>>36991759
had the same problem
just call the parlor and go there
the best part is when the women welcome you and introduce themself and you can usually choose the one you want

>>36994837
>I dated a fat fembot with a body that is not fat like this

Kill yourself, you mongoloid

>>36991722
With all their bad language they managed to get us in for a hour
>oh you marines
>first ten minutes free

Next thing I know I'm 20mins in and she whispers "1hour 50$".

>>36994893
just let him have it anon