>Anon, you didn't tell us you were bringing your girlfriend

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>>36978763
>What's your left hand's name anyway?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4JMcfKkG8E

>>36978763
Yeah, it's a shame all you fat and old fucks will be dying before you get to even see the real one.

>I jerk off with my right

>*silence*

>cousin said this to me at Christmas dinner two years ago
>Grandad straight up punched him in the face for making masturbation jokes at the dinner table

>>36978763
lmao this board is fucking ridiculous

>>36979391
Nice. Someone's gotta teach the younger generation some decorum.

>tfw extended family is either dead, estranged, for too far away
thank fucking god

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>"She goes by Palmella Handerson"
>"Also, at least she won't cheat on me like your wife did, Dad"

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>>36979459
>tfw currently visiting extended family because granny is dying.
Please kill me.

>>36979212
first post good taste

The silence is what kills me. My brothers used to rib me. My parents never did. I think some small part of them still holds hope, but it is slowly waning. I hooked up with a girl for the first time this year, but she was ugly and I'm ashamed of it, and she just gave me an awkward bj because she was lonely. Never saw her again. My grandma still asks me if I have a girlfriend in front of family though. It hurts to laugh it off. fuck

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Just pull out your dick and jizz in their drinks.

Once they drink your semen, they will all recognize you as alpha. It's the law of the jungle.

>>36978763
>Let me introduce her.
>take four eyes carrot tops glasses
>throw them in grandmas drink
>She likes you.

This stuff doesn't seem to happen to me because I'm 6'2 and my family knows I'm a bit unstable.

>>36979498
Nice.

>>36978763
lol just walk off, go somewhere else for the day
no point in dealing with family if they're gonna be dicks

source: i've done this