Mess with friend's essay. https://docs.google.com/docum

i got booted somehow but i left him legitimately constructive comments on his (really bad) essay

is he a high school freshman or just a brainlet

>>36938299
It just got made read only

>>36938440
yeah and it reverted all of the actual genuine comments i made on his writing

the structure of his essay doesn't really make sense

he's dropping in quotations without proper context or follow-up analysis

his introductory paragraph doesn't clearly state a thesis, it just basically says "i will overview why people believe certain things about this topic" with no argument behind it

he makes a big point about how anti-vidya people are older and don't play videogames and he does not cite anything for that (he should be citing statements like that). he says basically the obverse for young people and that's also uncited

>>36938458
He ended up liking your advice tho

This is absolutely fucking dire.

>People who believe that violent video games cause violent behavior fight for different reasons. Some people fight to ban video games altogether, while others try to ban only violent video games.

The wording on this. Has to be a high school junior for sure.

>>36938585
10th grade actually