ITT: >x found the y thread EXCEPT >it has to be real

>mom found the "boobs" "butt" "ass" "naked ass" and "vagina" Google image searches
>Mom washed the cum blanket
>Mom saw the used condoms
>Friend found the homemade dildo
>Landlord found the dirty Fleshlight
>Mom noticed the stolen panties
>Brother saw the porn folder

you guys really need to hide your shit better

>mom found the hentai I printed off of a game from newgrounds
I fell asleep after fapping and left it out.
I ended up burning it and the rest of the stash when she wasn't around.

My dad found my fleshlight

I'm still embarrassed as fuck about it

so here's the post, leaving thread now

>>36910573
i'm sure he was like "oh goddammit" but like... he has a dick too, you know if someone came up to him when he was younger and was like "here is a device that will make jacking off much more enjoyable" he would take it in a heartbeat, as would any man with a functional penis

i just feel like if a dude finds a fleshlight he will understand on a basic level
a girl finding a fleshlight will probably just be disgusted

>>36910501
oh this one reminds me
>mom washed the cum-covered basketball shorts

Bumping for potential.

Also:
>Mom saw open condom wrap
>mom dad and brother saw halfnaked girl wallpaper on computer desktop.

Hasn't gotten worse than that.
I'm on NoFap now and actually doing quite well so I'm leaving that degenerate behavior behind me.

>Brother found the audio logs about my dreams I'd be recording
>Asked me about them
>Told him they were for a creative writing project because I wouldn't actually dream about those weird fucked up things
>Deleted all the files and never recorded myself again

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>Mum cleans my room on her own accord
>cum sock disappears

That immense panic

>grandma found my "boong"
>gf found my porn folder
>left /b/ open on the family computer once and mum walked into to a picture of some dudes load on the back of a fat disgusting flabby white arse, not sure if it was m/f

>>36910716
I wonder if broccoli still lives with his mommy.

>>36910437

I used to think the "downloads" folder was some obscure folder that no one knew about, and so I used it on the family computer to save weird fetish pics and stuff. I also had an incest kink so I would save the pics as stuff like "older sis", "younger sis", "mom" et cetera, and pretend that the girls in those pics were my family.
Then one day my actual sister was trying to do something on the computer and found the folder, kek.

>read smut and hentai on phone before bed
>nut and then pass out, forget to close it
>next day, open phone at church youth group
Never got that close to shitting my pants before

>>36910437


Oh and also...

Growing up I never learned how to masturbate properly I used to just grind my dick into the mattress and blow load into underwear.

So when I got to be in my 20s I read online that this was bad and I decided to make an effort to learn the proper way.

I used to fill up bubble wrap with lotion and rub it on my dick, one day the apartment maintenence people came by b/c there was a leak downstairs. I hadn't cleaned the apartment in months and there was rotting trash in the kitchen, they went into the bathroom and my bubble wrap filled with old cum was laying on the back of the toilet

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>>36910769
>I used to think the "downloads" folder was some obscure folder that no one knew about
You absolute fucking madman KEK

I straight up got caught, in the act, jackin it to hentai. The funniest part was that somehow I first stumbled across hebtai on ebay, so I'd jack it to censored preview scans.

>>36910789
oh god i know this feel
>entire lecture hall hears the unmistakable sounds of a girl getting fucked from my phone

i thought i had received a text reeeeee

>>36910437
>brother found mums backscratcher and ran into the loungeroom with it.
> Found weed plants growing out the backyard, was told it was tomato plants, fell for the meme, Uncle finally broke the news to me.

>>36910513
i hid my shit about as well as i could, but my mom is neurotic as fuck and routinely dug through all of my things for no discernible reason

i'd come home from school and all of my clothes would be rearranged and she'd be like "oh, yeah, i went through your dresser."
never gave me a why, i just understood that she did it

everything my parents found (my mom specifically) was not due to a lack of diligence on my part

>tfw they never found the massive edible rice krispy treat full of weed i hid in my closet for months
i carved chunks off of it with a knife lel

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>visit 4chan when I was an edgy little fucker
>home computer like a retard
>didn't know history was a thing
>never heard anything about it
>practically a decade later having a drink with my mom on my 21st
>she's reminiscing
>says she used to find really fucked up shit on the computers history and was worried I was going to be a psychopath
>sudden flashback to all the gore, zoophilia, shovel dog, tub girl, etc etc etc.
>mfw my mother saw all of it

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>>36910437
>No one's found the flashdrive full of furry porn yet
>I keep it on me at all times
>I go to a place with 37 accesible computers in total every day
>It's just a matter of time

How fucked am I robots?

>>36911796
>I keep it on me at all times
But why?

>torrent porn
>too dumb to set up a VPN first
>mother then yells at me for a while while I want to die

Never again.

>>36911833
i assume because you never know when you'll need to access furry porn

>>36911839
er, should have been a reply to >>36911817

maybe you were torrenting furry porn though i dunno

>>36911817
Because if I keep it at home I'm afraid my family will find it - or that I'll lose it.

>>36911850
No, my tastes are relatively vanilla. I just consume copious amounts of it.

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>gf found the nude omegle screengrab folder

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>>36910437
>mom found the furry porn folder

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> be 17
> embarrassed to wear briefs
> mom only buys me briefs but buys dad boxers
> steal a couple of pairs. Hide them in my room under a drawer
> wear the boxers whenever I go out with friends
> one night get text
> I found your cache
> panic think mom found boxers
> turns out she found brothers porn on computer
> thank fuck
> continue wearing boxers until one day she asks if I would prefer to wear boxers when she was gonna buy me new underwear


I was pretty autistic

>maid found the homemade fleshlight drawer
>mom found the futa folder
>dad found the bestiality folder
>mom and dad found the craigslist add about a trap
>mom found the vibrators, not mine
>maid found the maid manga and doujins
>ex found the entire porn folder
>dog found the cumrag
>friend found the drag queen halloween costume
>friends sister found the decade old instructional pamphlet about the female genitalia and how to work it your old ex made for you
>dad found the text log between me and some gay guy you used for practice banter
>maid found the unironic piss bottle i used once during a raid from '07 i had entirely forgotten about
>i found out the hard way how to effectively hide my shit

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>>36911937

What in the fuck.

Every line I read I have more and more questions.

>>36911937
Why didn't you just tell her to buy boxers?
The second my junk started hurting from being mashed in my whities was the second i rode commando till i could convince my mother boxers weren't fucking immoral.

>>36912134

I was embarrassed

>Mom saw the ironic daki

>>36911973
Oh. And
>mom found the legitimately comfy MASSIVE boob pad my friend got with his under the counter purchase from a nearby game store that he didn't want

>brother pressed ctrl v after i used the pc and found the lesbian twincest video link

>>36910437
>mom washed the cum snuggie

>>36912491
>mom saw the unironic daki

>mother found the noose
>flatmate found the cum tissues
>cousin found the hentai stash

>Mom found the cum blanket
>Friend'd dad found the cum cot
>Mom found the grease bin
>I found the dildoe
>Mom found the gay starwars fanfiction
>Dad found the drawings

>mom washed the cumrags
>mom found the safe hentai
>mom found the stabbing bag
>mom found the poem book

STAY OUT OF MY ROOM MOM

>>36910670
I've never understood this. whats the reward of being on NoFap anyway? can someone fill me in?

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>back in 2009
>family computer
>dad inspected the Frostwire downloads

>>36910769
>had an incest kink
you still do

>mom found the homemade fleshlight
>mom washed the cum socks
>dad found the stalker pics i had of my crush
>sister found the cherry flavor condoms
>uncle found sisters dildo in my room

>mom found the stash of drawings i made of teacher and i having secks
>dad found nude pics of me on sisters phone
>mom accidentally calls hooker i fuck every weekend

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>jizzed on a shirt one night
>wore the same shirt to school the next day
>had a massive cum stain on my back
>giggles all daylong

Never had shit found but i dared my 11 yr old sister to see if she could eat an entire waffle while i slowly scrolled thru the "Offended" Page on encyclopaedia dramatica. She made it like 6 seconds and started shaking and stuttering and had to sit in the bathroom for awhile. It really fucked her up and she told our parents later that day.

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>Brother found the foreskin restoration device

He never asked what it was but clearly its a device worn around one's penis

>>36914221
It's just meme it doesn't really do anything good for you unless you are a chronic fapper but it does lower your testosterone

>>36910437
>mom found my panties
>mom found my garter belts
>father found the trap hentai on my phone (and put it as a wallpaper)

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>Ex saw me piss in the sink once
>mom found piss bottle and told me to stop
>drunk texted my dad thinking his number was my exes saying shit about how much I love her and saying my emotions are making me gay cuz I love her so much
>ex found piss fetish videos of cute chicks peeing
> ex saw search history of my looking up her friends "nude"
Oh god I need a drink, just thinking of this shit makes me want to kill myself

>>36910513
>hide your shit better
Oh anon. I can find oh so many hiding spots before my mom starts flipping furniture in my room

>mum found the nigger stick
>just a stick with nigger written on it
It was a joke or something that was passed around to friends. Mum went full muh racist son then left room. Went back to normal by evening
>inb4 get out reee

Not exactly found but more like SHE KNOWS.

>torrenting mother/son incest porn
>using socks5 to negate copyright letters
>IP leaks, get a copyright notice
>mom has the letter in her email and the porn name
>"Lana Rhoades - Mommy is Your First"
>brings up the copyright notice to me, awkwardly say it won't happen again

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>>36910437
>brother found the cum stained pants

>mom found my sister's panties which I stuffed in my shoes that i walked around in all day

>>36910437
>Oneitis found my extensive research on my HCV
End me

test this is original b ecause i say so

>>36914075
>mom found the stabbing bag

Who hasn't been there, am i right guys?

>>36910437
> father saw the cum socks under my bed
> mother saw the old cum bottles in the trash

BTW Old cum turns a Neon Green/Highlighter green when it begins aging before it finally turns brown/yellow then black.

Oh forgot one.

> father washed the cum undies.

DESU, the more I read this shit, the more I realize that this is probably pretty ubiquitous in society.

I doubt that half of your parents give a shit because they either understand that it's what people do, or that they had their own panic attacks over this shit in their youth. Sure, its uncomfortable to find. But would you be utterly disgusted in their situation, or would you understand?

>>36915004
>Foreskin Restoration Device
What the fuck is that?

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>>36910437
>Mom found the Adam Lanza picture folder

>>36918958
>found my step father's 70's porn collection
Jerked it to those magazines and movies until I got an ipod with wifi

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>Cat found the Eka's portal account

>>36919039
Something similar happened to me last month
>browsing random boards
>grandma comes in and sits on my bed asking me to go get her package from ups
>pic of Lanza and the thread was about how great he was
>she freaks the fuck out asking me why I have that on my computer and don't I know he killed thuh children
>tell her it's just a random thread that I hadn't even clicked on
>doesn't understand, keeps asking me why I have pictures of him and am I planning anything (I have a lot of guns.)
was a pretty bad week desu

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>>36911839
ALRIGHT FUCKERS IF I DON'T GET AT LEAST A GIG OF FURRY PORN RIGHT NOW I'M GONNA BLOW US UP TO KINGDOM COME

>I found the sister's vibrator
>cops found the brother's cp

>>36910801
>bubble wrap
Never heard of this method. BRB, going to Staples...

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Closest I've come was leaving my external hard drive with my cousin when I delivered a car for his sister. I forgot I had my prototype hentai folder in there. It wasn't hidden, but it wasn't in plain sight either. It's all vanilla, but it still would be awkward if he found it.

>>36918999
It adjusts the brightness on '86 Ford F-series pickup domelights.

>>36919342
>>cops found the brother's cp

ooh
>cops found roommate's cp
idiot kept it on a fucking google drive lel

>>36919853
Out of strict curiosity, how do people find CP? How does your average pedo go about finding it? I can't imagine them learning tons of computer jargon to elude capture.

>>36919941
i have no idea. the guy was an idiot. he also wasn't my roommate anymore when they found the cp

i had no idea he was even into cp until the cops literally appeared on campus and arrested him

i think if he learned computer jargon to elude capture he would have, you know, eluded capture

>bong full of diet dr. pepper
I demand an explanation OP

>>36920010
This is a good one
>roommates having a big party for normie reasons
>they are all massive stoners
>everybody is drunk
>for some reason this weird semi-autistic guy is there
>he asks my stoner roommate if he can fill the bong with diet dr. pepper and take a hit
>everyone is so drunk and confused that they agree, mainly because they want to see this guy do it
>he does
>seems to have a bad time
>everyone continues being drunk and forgets about the soda bong
>campus security arrives
>enters my room
>dr. pepper bong on clear display
>tells everybody to be more quiet so they don't have to follow up on a noise complaint
>no punishment for the dr. pepper bong or obvious smell of weed

>mom found the dresses I stole from my sister

all I do is wear them usually, it's not like I jack off in them that much

>dad found the carrot in the shower

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>>36910716
>tfw all my socks are cum socks

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>>36910716
>accidentally added cum sock to laundry bag for wash and fold
>cum sock disappears

>>36920186
I stole some clothes once but the anxiety was killing me, so I just threw them away. I kept on imagining I would die in my sleep and my parents would find them in my closet.

>gf found the sonic porn collection downloaded from /v/ in 2006
>gf found the self-deprecating persona in an mmo

>>36920374
Yeah but then you'd be dead and you'd have gotten away with it

>>36910437
>mom found the story I wrote about my qt cousin I had a crush on having sex with her german shepherd

I don't think I can describe the feeling in my gut when I knew she found it