>year and a half ago >be 21 >spend about 5 hours a day

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>>36871019
>can't seem find friends in the real world
>beter kill self before trying to improve self & try all other options life has to offer
wew, I know you are lonely, I am too, but there are SO MANY things you can enjoy! also how can you wish for firends if you can even be your own friend?

>>36871201
If you read what I wrote, I did try to improve. I was all but on the verge of normie-ness, but I just can't take the plunge. It feels like there's nothing for me there, like I have to choose between living while constantly wearing a mask, or living from behind my keyboard.

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>>36871253
you don't have to be a normie to be happy. there is somethng for you there, you just have to find it, it will probably come to you on it's own too.

I was considering suicide a year ago, was really thinking about it for a full year, I concluded it's completely retarded thing to do. I feel it's really impossible to describe my epiphany to you and talk you out of such thoughts, some things you have to realize by yourself. also I'm laughing now at how weak was I considering suicide over some shitty completely irrelevant problems.

p.s. my best friend killed himself years ago, you can't even imagine the pain he left behind. where is he now?

>>36871530
but the bigger question is, why shouldn't I commit suicide? I don't have a best friend who would feel unbearable pain, I do have a few pals who would probably be shocked for a few days but wouldn't need more than a month or two to get over it. I don't really care what my parents think or feel because they both dragged me into this life, and clearly didn't prepare me adequately for it. I don't really have ambition or a clear bright future, and I couldn't care less about happiness coming "some day".

I'm 23 in two weeks, and I've thought about suicide more or less daily since I've been 19. I know I won't do it, but that's only because I'm a fucking wuss and my biggest fear is that I'd fail and just hurt myself alot without actually succeeding. God why do I fear pain this much.

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What boards did you janitor?

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>>36871642
>I'm 23
wew, you still have so much shit to experience
> I don't really care what my parents think or feel because they both dragged me into this life, and clearly didn't prepare me adequately for it
literally your anger and fears talking, you should be thankful
>my biggest fear is that I'd fail and just hurt myself alot without actually succeeding. God why do I fear pain this much
perfectly normal, we all have fears, don't worry about materialistic shit, it's all irrelevant, you should cherish the moments you have, spend more quality time with parents and try to slowly improve yourself, you don't have to be super succesful of similar shit. don't be so afraid of pain, the pain you experience is miniscule compared to what others experience and still carry on. I could write you a fucking book about this, but as I said you have to figure it on your own. good luck

yes I'm Klossposting

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>be 20
>been lurking 4chinz casually since 2006
>got frinds, we hang ot a lot so no much time for 4chinz
>unironically be liberal, believe in all the "equality" bullshit, even call myself feminist
>be 2014
>move to burgerland (nyc)
>no friends because all of them are in europe
>get faceslaped with reality in the first 2 months
>niggers everywhere, they all discusting, uneducated, violent, start becoming racist
>become a hermit because cant be relaxed around negroes
>find myself starting to read /pol/ unironically
>all they say seems to be true, swallow every redpill that exists
>become super racist
>end up drinking myself to sleep every night
>fast forward 3 years
>be 2017, mother forced ,me to go to college.
>everything is full of beaners and niggers who think they are smart, but even tho im drunk every day i still get better grades and im stmarter than them
>miss lots of classes
>only "friends" in school is a 40yo marine vet who is on 15 types of meds because ptsd
>no posibility of having a GF because everyone in nyc is leftist as fuck
>still drinking, still racist as fuck, still no real friends, not even a possibility
>be now 4:27pm, woke up 3 hours ago, already drank 4 beers, gotta go to classes in 30 mins.
tfw

if you feel down just read some based Diogenes and have a laugh
http://www.naturalthinker.net/trl/texts/DiogenesofSinope/
>One day he shouted out for men, and when people collected, hit out at them with his stick, saying, "It was men I called for, not scoundrels."
fucking tip top kek

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>>36871253
Welcome to hell.

When i was 22 I thought i could become normie, quit video games, anime, lost weight, tried dating, had good paying job in IT. People wouldn't get my train of thought. I realized i will never be able to mix with other people as well as they could, i was gonna be the odd one every time

Atm 28 NEET playing WoW and watching anime all day.
I also wish i had the balls to kill myself but just idea of fucking it up or feeling too much pain is stopping me.