was thinking about something today. why its hard to gain respect

Honestly I think respect mostly comes to people who have some power over others. People respect the strong, the smart, the rich cause they are better than them and potentially a threat or an ally.

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A lot of people out there in this world really aren't that great, man. Lots of people are gigantic jerks and they won't respect you, no matter how decent you are, no matter how smart you are, and no matter what you do for them out of the kindness of your heart.

People like this will only give you something that looks like respect if they're doing it to cheat or manipulate you, or they're afraid of you and pretend to respect you because they recognize you're more powerful than they are. Come to think of it, that's still a form of manipulation.

But that's the reality of the world we live in.

At the same time, I can understand your desire to not be mistreated or metaphorically peed upon. But you can't fix these people. The best thing is to try to minimize their influence in your life.

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>>36862521
>why its hard to gain respect from people?
two types of people:
Those that never get respect thus they never give it
Those that believe respect is earned not given, thus until you have earned it, you shall not be given it
>some people invest alot of time and effort in attempts to gain respect
You have to understand that humans are not like capitalistic gains. You want item Y you need money, you get a job work Xs hours and get item Y. But with people that system doesn't (and shouldn't) work like that, amount of time given, put into another does not mean it will reciprocate and they will respect you, they can opt out to never respect you, and as such you need to move on from gaining their respect.

>am i putting too much emphasis on this?
more or less, If you want people like that you need to seek them out but accept that it's a random system, you might find them tomorrow or never at all.

> how should one approach this issue?
Live how you want to live, focus on a life that is what you would respect, and accept people will do their own thing. Take joy when it works out, bear through it when it doesn't.

>>36862521
Sounds like you are another faggot that doesn't understand what that word implies
>a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

So if you are giving random Joe respect you are fucking up something stupid. You earn respect it is -never- given.

>>36862617
>kindness of your heart.
no good deed goes unpunished

>>36862612

There's a different type of respect that comes from compassion and the honoring of others' dignities. I think it's a more sincere type of respect.

I try to show people this respect when I can. A lot of people have made it clear that they don't appreciate it. A lot of other people have made it clear that they appreciate it tremendously.

The latter type of people are the ones I want in my life. The former types, I try to keep away from. They're a danger to my mental health and more than that, too.

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>>36862521
>personally i respect everyone regardless
you personally have admiration for everybody?

>>36862667

That's only one definition of the word.

Here's another one that seems to be from the same dictionary.

>Due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others.

I try to show this respect to everyone. Those who don't appreciate it aren't the kind of people I want near me.

>>36862692
I agree with you. Everyone should strive to gain respect from the compassion route but I think universal respect comes from power. Your average rando on the won't respect you based on your empathy, but they will respect you if you are built like a body builder or wearing an expensive suit. They may not like you but they'll respect you.

>>36862752

I'm not that interested in gaining that type of respect from people anymore. I was at one point, but these days I really don't care that much.

I actually don't have all that much empathy; that is to say, I often have a difficult time understanding the feelings, motivations, and thought processes of other people. This changes if they seem similar to me in some key ways, and have had some similar experiences that they talk about with me.

But, I do care about others and their well beings, even if their ways are inscrutable to me

I guess one could I sort of compensate my low level of empathy with a fairly high level of sympathy. I don't think I would change this even if I could. I've grown to be fairly comfortable being me.

>>36862830
I can respect that (HA!) I'm just saying in a more traditional how do I get the admiration of all those around me sort of way you need to have some extraordinary trait and people without those traits will likely never know that type of respect from people.

>>36862922

Yeah, that's true. I guess to some extent I do still have some desire for that type of respect. It's just much more muted than it used to be.

It's sort of like how when I was a kid I REALLY loved chocolate. Now I still enjoy it, but I don't have such a longing for it.

I don't think I'd want that kind of respect for the kind of clothes I wear. But maybe if I did something like wrote a great book (fiction or non-fiction) and people enjoyed reading it and looked up to me for that, that'd be enjoyable.

>>36862980
Yeah that's the respect I would want to. Not the large JK Rowling level but the kind where maybe a couple thousand people just really like my work and would show up to a panel to talk about it, maybe do a signing but not one where it would be literally impossible to get to everyone

>>36863084

I hear you. You know though, these days I have such a hard time getting into fiction books. Almost all my reading is nonfiction.

It's funny. As a kid I loved fiction. Now I have a hard time getting immersed.

>>36863188
Funny I've done the exact opposite. Used to love nonfiction, hearing grand stories about great people and events and thinking about how that actually happened. But now I like fiction, mainly stories that focus on various characters points of views. I like seeing how different personalities (even if they are made up) deal with strife or success. What they learn from it and how they change.

>>36862728
I'm the same way. desufamoregan

>>36862521
>gain respect
respect is earned

>>36862617
>sheeps
>not sheep
How did you fuck this up

>>36863296
this
you think we should care you exist just because? There are billions of humans.

>>36863311
r9k is full of kids and retards

>>36863296
>>36863381
Op is talking about some kind of general politeness/recognition shit. Not your stupid boomer quoting stolen valour bullshit.

>>36863438
general politeness =/= respect
it's just common sense

>>36863438
That's not respect then. It's somthing else. But the point stands we are entitled to nothing. If he wishes to give it that's on him, no one is entitled to treat him well. Ever.