>you're 30 years old and you never had a job? >what

... leave, i guess?

i mean you kind of carried that scenario to its logical conclusion already

what else is there to do? suck his dick?

>>36861776
You wouldn't know the first thing about honest work you lazy capitalist leech.
*leaves*

>>36861776
I need more details man!! What the fuck is even happening in this scenario?

>>36861776
"Sh-shutup dad!"
>leaves

>>36861801
Your parents have died and your NEET days are over, now gotta find a job to survive but the problem is you have zero experience and you're already getting old.

>>36861895
Guess youre going to have to start down at the bottom of somewhere then? Just try to stay away from the food industry if you can.

>>36861776
>you're 30 years old and you never had a job?

>be me
>Be 18 try get job. No licence. No experience. Fat sperg with glasses
>Be 19, try get job. No licence. No experience. Still fat. Have contacts now.
>Go back, do high school equivalency course. Do several community college courses
>Try get job. No experience. No licence. No jobs
>Lose weight, suddenly Chad tier
>Try get job. Spam job applications out. Don't get any, no experience. No licence.
>Be 30. Pretty buff. Have a bachelors. Spam out job applications. No experience or work history. No interviews.
>be 35. Decide to make up 20 years of work history. Send in resume. Get dozens of interviews.
>Get job based entirely on lies. Nobody suspects a thing.

>>36862270
do you make up references too?

i'm not nearly that old and i have actual (mostly useless) work experience but i have no references because i don't even know how to contact most of the people i worked for anymore

>>36861776

Hmm. Is there a reason I'd want to be there?

>>36862301
Yeah. I got a burner phone I just leave plugged into my USB. It's a cheap piece of trash that I only use to take calls for references from my made up references. I invented personalities and accents for them. I don't take the calls initially and just let them hit my message bank and then call back with my fake persona.

Plus I had a few references with made up names with fake email only contact addresses. And I have some fake written references I have in my resume folder. Which are also me.

>>36861776
>lazy scumbags
I'd try to sue him for that comment to recive money from him anyways.

>>36862334
That works though?

>>36862334
what happens when they google the company in question and it obviously doesn't exist

>>36861776
I got a job so I don't have to worry about it. I told them I was working hard at college before hand. I wasn't though, just wasting time. I got the job.

>>36862334
Gj you earned your job for all the hard work you put into your larp. I hope it goes well for you anon.

>>36862301
Sorry to samefag here. But I just wanted to add, that now that I have a job I keep doing this and going for more interviews to try upgrade. So when they ask what I am currently doing. I say I'm working where I work. And it looks better. I've only done this 3 times, but every time I got short listed and called back for a second interview. If I could drive or have a licence (I can't, lost it over DUI's until 2022) I could have some really good jobs right now, making over 60k a year, entirely based on lies.

At the end of the day I guess maybe from the start, everyone "embellished" their resume and I was just too autistic to answer honestly.

>>36861776

>Make me leave you son of a bitch
>pulls out gun in slow motion

>>36862389
how the fuck do you pass criminal background checks

>>36861776
I mean I'm only 20, but if I got to be 30 with no job, I would just lie on my resume.

>>36862364
Oh I use legit companies. Nothing extreme I don't make out I worked for NASA or anything. Just realistic stuff. I always also put my "reason for leaving" as I wanted to advance my career and job prospects.

When I get to the interview phase, and they ask about my former employers. I tell them "Oh, yeah, McDonalds. They were great. Great company I have a lot of friends from there, really treasured my time there, we still meet up sometimes"

>>36862417
Nobody cares about DUI's most of the time. And I don't smoke pot so I can do piss tests. They're mostly looking for thefts or assaults or sexual charges etc.

It's surprising how many people really do have DUI's it's not considered to be that bad.

I only got asked about it once, and I said that I "Went to a BBQ with friends and drank 3 beers and I was a bit over the limit" and the interviewer said they had the same thing happen to them, and not to worry about it. That was the job I actually got.

I feel like a total psychopath, but fuck me lying helps.