ITT: most autistic thing you've ever done....greentext

>Be me

>Born

>Diagnosed with autism at an early age.

>That about sums it up as the most autistic thing I've ever done.

>girl wants me to go in her room
>think it is time
>hear fapping noises
>..
>mom into succubus
>girl comes in
>asks me
>mom into succubus
>hear fapping noises

>Be me
>Be diagnosed autistic
>Be get one of those new autism spinner things
>Be using it as I post now
>Be happy

>unplugs electric guitar
>starts playing it

I love you all long time long time long time

berger out!!!

>>36847659
You forgot the part about making that post

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I've posted this before with little success, but it is without a doubt the most autistic thing I've ever done.

> Be 17, 11th grade.
> Junior prom coming up, want to impress girl I only sort of know.
> Think of ways to do it, nothing really seems right.
> Home alone one night, and my testosterone and autism collide in a tragic accident.
> Get one of my better pairs of jeans and bleach the words "BIG TEX" in all caps across my dick area.
> statepride.mov
> I mean you could see it from space.
> I thought I was the shit, and I wore it for 2 weeks, in FUCKING PUBLIC MIND YOU.
> She was from Oregon, not Texas.
> And not very impressed, either.
> She graciously rejects me nicely.
> The moment she does this, my sanity comes crashing back to me. I finally feel shame.
> The second I get home, I change my pants throw the BIG TEX pants in the dumpster. Not the trash, the DUMPSTER.
> I couldn't accept to myself that it actually happened for 4 months. My parents saw it, but they couldn't muster the courage to talk to me about it.

>>36849429
I taped a sock to my shirt and wore it to school once.

>move back and forth with my upper body when sitting
>jerk knee up and down while sitting
>used to bunny hop during the breaks in school back when I was a kid
>no friends, no gf, can't maintain eye contact, social situations are extremely uncomfortable
>unironically play Minecraft (without mods or anything)
>no furniture besides computer desk, a wardrobe and a bed in my robot cave

>>36849596
why?
og comment

>Be me
>14, trying out for wrestling team
>Think it'd be a good idea to cut 8 lbs to get an open spot (only one other guy wants to try out there)
>Habitual procrastinator, start losing weight a week before the tryout
>Cut myself to one meal a day, Limit my water intake in addition to extremely hard workouts
>Get bronchitis, but it's making me sweat off 2 pounds a night so don't tell anybody
>Develop slight cough, whatever
>Tryouts come around, dehydrated, malnourished 14 y/o w/ bronchitis vs senior
>Absolutely demolished
>Later, get rid of bronchitis but get pneumonia
>Don't go to doctor, pneumonia passes on it's own somehow
>slight couch still there
>Still don't see a doctor
>3 years later finally see a doctor
>mfw lung cancer
>mfw when not seeing a doctor about a small cough gave me stage 2 lung cancer
This is where the autism kicks in
>Need sports physical to play sports my senior year
>They won't clear me because I have cancer, obviously
>I pull out a $20 bill and subtly tell him I'll be OK
>I tried to bribe one of the top oncologists in the nation who probably makes 7 figures with $20 to let a boy with lung cancer play sports
>Even if he does clear me, if I collapse with lung cancer in the middle of a game both him and the school are in a shitton of legal trouble
>Clearly he says no
>My dad nearly beats my ass but I tell him I'm joking
>OK
>Plan B
>Forge a physical to try and get the school to let me play
>It works
>BackOnTheFootballTeam.jpg
>Somehow able to keep up with team during practices
>Doctor schedules surgery on the same day as the first game
>I've been busting my ass and risking death in practice for literally nothing
>Whatever
>Surgery comes around, they were just going in to remove the cancerous tumor and nothing else
>After surgery find out they had to remove the nearly entire lung
>Playing football caused the cancer to spread faster than they predicted
>"I told you not to play football you stupid fuck"
>Tells school that I forged physical

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>>36849672
Uncle Rico wears a shirt that kinda looks like he's just wearing a sock on his shirt.

>>36849720
Cont.
>Cancerous
>Lungless
>Stuck with a month long hospital stay
>Probably gonna get suspended/expelled from school (didn't but I was deep shit for a while)
>Can't even play sports anymore (No scholarships)
>Years of follow up appointments and physical therapy
>All because between the ages of 14 and 17 I was a dumbass and did none of the things I should've done to prevent this
At least I got a 5k scholarship for cancer kids out of it

>>36849720
dude nice.

origiinal

>>36849725
kek! top tier autism there anon <3

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>>36849725

u-u-u-uncle rico, I-I-is that you?

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>>36849725
wanting to unironically impersonate uncle rico is pretty autistic

>>36850000
Checkaroo


Or Ori go nallies

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>>36847608
>be 16
>2013
>living in one of the worst and most violent places in the UK
>loser autistic friends make brony documentary
>want me to be in it as I am autistic brony too
>Interview me
>ask me who I tell
>get very uncomfortable in interview, see me sweating, shaking, stuttering and moving my hands around a lot.
>who is your favorite pony anon?
>rainbow dash
>why
>let out an awkward "b- because she's 20% cooler haha"

>tfw it is played in front of everyone on the last day of school in assembly of around 1000 people
>everyone looks at me with disgust, laughing
>start sweating
>people sat next to me crushing everyone to get away from me
>start crying
>Reset to 0 friends
>run out and and walk home for 2 hours questioning my autism

Pic related is mfw I find a website where everyone is just as autistic as me

>>36847608
Thats the exact same cross my legit pedo uncle from tiny village wears since the 80s.

Such style :)

>>36850337
i have no idea what the fuxx that means but thanks retard

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lol cross upside down. thinking ur hot chit dont ya? edgy yeah? i can tell what hoe you are from one pic. haram

>>36850305

get the fuck outta here you ponyfag

>>36850639
>>36847608

also: that choker

kekerinno

j u s t

>>36847714
who the fuck are you

why do you keep posting this

>be me
>go on 4chan

That's the most autistic thing I've done to date

>>36850741
I'm not a ponypag anymore though

>>36850639

peters cross scumbag, suck my nuts faggboy

>>36849773
so .00001 percent of your tuition?

>>36850858

Doesn't matter, being the type of person that once was a ponyfag disqualifies you

>be me
>be 17
>be at party somehow
>get blackout drunk
>wake up in bed with girl
>girl is very popular in high school and I am a nerd who has recently lost weight and been accepted to an extent
>no recollection of ending up in bed
>spend entire night in bed with no sex no nothing other than some kissing
>she asks me on date
>say yes
>go on date that week
>is great despite initial awkwardness, lasts 4 hours
>walk her home
>have a total freakout panic attack and stand outside her house for like 15 minutes saying idk if I should kiss her or if date went well
>long periods of silence
>ends in hug
>FML
>fails from there out

Girl is on my uni course now. She is amazing. Was my chance at gf but I fucked up anons.

Told a girl I loved her and got rejected

>>36850958
Disqualifies me for what? Being an autistic r9k user?

Had a crush on a girl, told her that I like her a bit more than as friends. She was flattered by it, I was too focused on being happy that she didn't just shut me down to pick up on the subtle clues that she doesn't like me in that manner.
I had known her for years and the feelings developed much later on and I felt like a fucking retard afterwards. I cut all contact to her after she told me the next day that I had misunderstood her feelings.

It's been many years since that and I haven't felt any feelings towards any person after that and I have no intentions of trying to fix that.
I don't know how I got so wrecked by that.

>>36847714
What does this mean?
Please tell me I have to know

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this is what you can do >>36850639
anon

>>36851239
Wow you are literally gf material

pls be gf ok thnks

>>36851771
well helo dear :)

I told a guy I had a fag crush on him via email.
More cringe worthy than autistic probably.

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>be 14
>freshman year
>started using the internet heavily that year
>turn into megabrony/furry faggot
>create furry accounts on social media
>classmates find it
>tell them its a joke and a troll
>to this day I'm still a furry

bump just because I like greentexts

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>High school
>crush on a shy qt weeb girl
>one day try to impress her
>guys in class ask each other if they know any russian words
>thisismychance.jpeg
>I ask them if they know how to ask "what?" in russian
>scream "NANIIIIIIIII?" at the top of my lungs
>weeb girl looks at me as if she felt second hand embarrassment
>go home
>search on google
>find out that "nani" is how you say "what" in Japanese
>never looked at her direction ever again