I'm so tired of being angry. When I talk to other people

>>36738904
you got to be like the guy in the back and not give a fuck

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Use that anger to get gains

>>36739035
I feel like I'm wearing a mask. I pretend to be calm and not like I want to go off. I use to be really confrontational. If I let the act slip people think it's funny to try and get me to go off on them. The problem is when I go off I don't care if either of us get hurt and I think I'd feel better temporarily if one of us did. Except it just causes bigger problems that make you feel worse in the long run. It's not that I want to be perceived in a certain way I just don't want to be volatile and lose it on someone. It's been years since it happened, but I was in a situation where I was getting threatened and I started to unconsciously start to pick fights toward others since I was feeling threatened. It's not even about the situation or the context some unimportant thing. I just felt like stuff was building up it would make me act out on it like the situation wasn't the fuel it was the ignition source.

>>36739192
thats a different kind of angry than What I used to be. So I don't really know what to tell you. Look into explosive anger management strategies and try some out, though I assume you have.

I'm so tired of people saying I always look like I'm angry even though I'm a melting pot of friendship

>>36739277
The problem isn't that I'm going to lose it. I already know they want me to just so they can litigate it or whatever, or are just stupid enough to think nothing bad will happen. The part that's the worse is all that anger turns inward since I can't project it outward.

>>36739063
this.

I go around raging all day if I don't lift. Lifting will calm you down anon. It makes you serene. Like Buddha.

>>36738904

>I'm so tired of being angry. When I talk to other people they tell me I'm bitter.

I was the same way, too, friend.

Then I got really, really sick and doctors gave me a 50/50 chance of surviving. While I struggled to survive for over a week in the hospital all I obsessed over was how I wasted my life being so angry about everything, and promised myself and God I would become a good, kind, loving, happy person about EVERYTHING if I lived.

I recovered and for the past 2 years my entire outlook on life has completely changed. I never get mad or upset anymore. Don't "hate" anyone or anything. Live and live is my philosophy now. I look for joy and happiness in every situation now, and find it.

Life is SO short, and we can all die at anytime, so gotta be a good person and live to be happy.

If I had not almost died, I may have never lived, so I'm thankful for my close call.

God bless. May you somehow find peace and happiness in your life, too, friend.