>"ATTENTION! You have been drafted into the United States

run away into the mountains I guess

>>36732259
They're at your door. How do you think you're going to get out?

ask if I can get airborne in my draft contract

they'll say no

I'll be an 88M and like it

>>36732229
Sprint out the back door and hide out in the woods until they go away

Strip naked in front of them, look the CO in the eye, start jacking it and say "This is for you~"

They'll never bother me again.

>>36732229
Well? At least now I have a purpose in life. I can also use this opportunity to make friends and get /fit/.

>>36732229
Laugh because i'm not american, unless they give me a green card I won't do shit.

>>36732387
>>36732360
They drag you away and throw you in the brig. What now?

Ask if I can bring my hug pillow. They leave me alone.

>>36732471
Brig is Navy, not Army

>>36732229
Shoot myself in the foot.

Why would they send 6 guys in full combat gear to tell you to "come out with your hands up" if you've been drafted? Don't they usually send a letter or some shit?

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>>36732471
I keep acting as gay and autistic as possible till they throw me out and yes I know it didn't work for Corporal Klinger but it will work for me.

>>36732229
Is that really how the draft works? they can send soldiers to kidnap you?

>>36732471
As long as I'm not sentenced to death or life in prison I am okay with this. I don't care about abandoning a war, I don't care about having a criminal record, I don't care about free housing and food.

>>36732229
I can't be drafted, so jokes on you. I'm exempt even if it happens. Deal with it.

convince them that I am unfit for service due to mental health issues using an impressive display of autism

Slaughter those imperialist bastards!

wahey i finally got a job

>>36732229
Brandish my dd214 and tell them I already sucked my share

pick up my [fuck off fbi] and [censored]

>>36732611
thats the joke dummy. it's a good joke though because the draft is forceful anyway.

>>36732309
Are we presupposing they have the place totally surrounded? Then I guess I'd let them capture me and run away at the first opportunity.

>>36732229
Play along until I get my hands on a gun

I'm not a mudslim so I don't care.

What is
>Fight bravely for my country?

Call my vietnamese friends and proceed to fight them with our matchlock weapons and pitchforks.

>>36732229
Sir!!
I'm enlisting in the Army either way.

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>>36732229
>kick open door
"I fight only for myself cowards"
>throw my fedora right behind the last soldier
>as it's falling, sprint past the soldiers, swinging my blade with precision
>catch my fedora
"N-NANI! Get this sonafu-bitch"
"hehehehehehe"
"omae wa... SHINDERU"
>as i tip my fedora, the soldiers burst into pieces
"

>>36732229
ask if i can atleast finish fapping

>be diabetic and suicidal

They'd either leave me alone or strap a bomb to my chest and tell me to run full speed at something. Either way I'm happy.

>>36732229
Thats not even our military lmao

>>36732229
I'm already IN the army

Against a fire team clearing houses your fucked might get 1 but ya dead I was in Iraq 3 years and afgh 3 we owned house clearing

>>36733367
I thought they were supposed to burst into pieces when you sheath your katana.

>>36732229
We would smoke the dogshit out of all you chodes.

State I'm a veteran with a medical discharge and close the door

>>36734314
Lol id kick it in and fuck you son medical I bet you are under 35 and a cuck

>Was in the Navy for 5 years before medical discharge.
>Now I'm on 4chan.

Where did it all go so wrong?

>>36734360
Awh shit, you caught me. I am. Got out after basic lmao

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I'd go with them, then after training I'll shoot them.
Are there any stories of people who have been drafted killing soldiers on their side or killing themselves? It's what I'd do.

I'd rather shoot Chad who forced me into training than having to shoot anyone else.

>>36733367
You should of said pizzas instead of pieces.

>>36734517
And you'd get your ass lit up.

>>36734759
I don't care, I'd rather shoot some normie who forces me to join the army than the "enemy".

>>36732229
Do my duty and not be a fucking draft dodger. Though, if I new there were a serious chance of me getting drafted, I may have already joined so I could be an Officer

>>36732229
Marines, retired. Nice try ;^)

>>36734517
CHAD IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME, REEEEEEEEE!!! HE STEALS ALL THE GURLS BECAUSE I AM UNATTRACTIVE AND AUTISTIC, REEEEEEEE! I'M GOING TO GO AND BETRAY MY COUNTRY MEN NOW BECAUSE CHAD MADE ME GET OFF MY FAT /R9K/ ASS, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

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>>36732229

>I finally got my first job after 26 years

look who's living high on the hog now, dad

>>36735617
You can still be drafted if you're a vet lol

>>36732229
"So you finally invade my country."

>>36732229
joke's on them I'm too unhealthy to get drafted

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>>36732229
Wonder what the fuck is going on considering I live in Canada.

Pic related. Is a based Canadian politican

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>>36735653
This only makes me want to kill Chad even more and fuck "my" (((country))), I don't want to kill other people for jews and corrupt politicians.

I'd do what the guy from the Allman Brothers Band did and get piss ass drunk and intentionally shoot myself in the foot to get the medical exemption.

>>36732229
I'm really surprised nobody had said this already but those are brits. L85's and desert dpm.

>>36735795
>not reducing immigration to europeans only, 0 of other kinds of people
it's my only real issue with his policies. he doesn't address the real problem with immigration.

>>36732959
kek this

being forced into it sounds better than enlisting

>>36736145
Baby steps, anon. You have to ease the public into supporting an all white country.

>>36732229
"I'm a pacifist who's attempted suicide on 3 separate occasions, I'm 5'4, my neck is incredibly sensitive due to a weird bone fusion in my youth and a simple fall could paralyze me easier than the average man. If you put a gun in my hands I'm more likely to put it in my mouth and not point it at other humans beings. You do not want me in your military, either accept that or kill me now."

>>36735804
What's wrong with "Chad", he's masculine and high-t? (((They))) want you to turn against your fellow white man

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>>36732229
I call snipes

>>36732229
Those are British soldiers you idiot

>>36732229
volunteer for special forces because fuck the regular army

>>36732229
>get drafted
>down at the fire range using live rounds near normies

Hmmm really makes you think

Get my guns, go out the window, jump down to the lower patio, then try to jump down again into the parking structure to get my car and peel out.

I go and fight with my fellow men.

Jesus fuck, you guys are pussies.

>>36733035
>pick up your [omitted]
>it has three settings
>[censored]
>[redacted]
>shred document

>"Sure, I"ll fight for freedom!"
>*Proceeds to training, gets access to weapons
>*Proceeds to mow down 50+ roasties in a shopping mall

Use my genjustu to make them think I opened the door and shot myself. Place a transformed log clone where I should've landed rigged with explosives. When they take it, they go boom, I run.

That'll teach them to draft my clan.

>>36732229
I can't imagine im any use as a soldier. Why are you drafting me?