Depressing sex life confession thread? Yeah, I think we need

>humble bragging
>making sex life threads
Yeah, you just aren't a fit for this place mate. Fuck off, normalfag.

>>36660396
>humble bragging
Sorry, no. I have a very strict sense of personal morals I've tried to follow my whole life, even the thought of engaging someone else's girl while they were together with someone kept me from interacting with them, whether or not I had a chance.

I want to again emphasize that this is THE ONE TIME I had sex, and she's not really exaggerating about me being ugly. I'm really a mess. I could tell you the myriad of ways I'm actually genuinely fucked up and reasons why I'm likely doomed to die alone, but honestly I'm just hoping I'm not alone in this kind of situation.

>>36660495
>we had messed up before
>has male friends
>makes sex life threads on r9k
Mate, you just aren't a good fit for this place.

>>36660495
I meant
>had messed around before
You're just a normalfag.

>>36660588
If it's any consolation none of my "friends" even live on the same continent as me anymore, aside from that singular experience I've not even touched a girl in five years, my life at present is pretty much me living alone in a hovel with zero social life to speak of as I surround myself with garbage and filth with absolutely no prospects for a brighter future thanks in large part to a complete lack of ambition or drive.

Absolutely the only thing I do with any spare time I have is browse imageboard, look at porn even if I'm not masturbating (almost like it's just force of habit now, I could be fucking eating cereal and watching hardcore anal) and play videogames.

If I don't belong here, I have no idea where else I can even talk about my feelings on what a waste I am as a person.

>>36660676
>we had messed around before
Yeah, no. If you were a robot you'd know it hurts to read these things so you'd avoid posting them. You can't even relate to how a robot thinks.

>>36660707
On the contrary, I think all that is an indicator of is that I just happened to find a girl that was really, really messed up in the head more than anything. Like she tried to convince an exceptionally geeky friend of mine to make out with her ON MY BED. While I was IN THE ROOM. Just watching a movie. She wasn't dating the guy I mentioned in my first post at the time but to say that she wasn't exactly picky about who played with her tits is... kind of an understatement.

Buddy, I am a fucking ogre. The only mindset I have is that I want to be candid about a negative experience that I feel at least some other people here can consider similar to their own.

>>36660707
all you think about is self pity, you got no life experiences to share. you dont make anything. just pop into a thread to tell people to stop having personal experiences.
>hey hey guys what is going on here?
>you're doing stuff?
>I can't do that stuff
>stop doing that you're not like me at all
>boohoo you're not like me stop doing stuff I don't do
>it's not fair you must be a roastie feminist this is just some conspiracy to upset my sensitive feelings just like everything else in the world does
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2Th8JGsJuo

When i was 17 i was rly cute and had long hair and shit, im pretty damn beautiful tbqh. Anyway, i knew some cool older dudes and we started a bunch of shitty bands so naturally id end up at parties surrounded by 24 yr olds. Got nice and drunk with this 10/10 23 yr old qt, she brings me upstairs to her friends room, isat on the bed and she got all over me. Got to suck on her perfect tits and rubbed her ass and all that. I was fumbling around and obv nervous and confused so just out of nowhere she stops, pulls her shirt down and walks out of the room all sad and bothed looking. I guess my inexperience really knocked the idea into her head that she was with an undrage boy. I dont blame her but still, blueballs and insecurity really set in hard. Im a really awkward shut in to this day. Atleast i sucked on god tier titties before, being pretty got me that far i spose i should be happy

>>36660858
I actually got to kiss this girl twice and both times she said I was the worst kisser she'd ever met. I told her I'd never really done it before but she just kept going on about how bad I was at it.

Then I got as far as fingering this girl and she up and said she just "dried up like the Sahara". Her exact fucking words.

I was a much younger person when this happened and to this day I still have this phobia of ever kissing someone because I'm sure it'll immediately put them off, so I just don't even let myself get into a situation where I can try. Super insecure as a result, and I think back to it and just kind of wish she'd taken the time to help me be less crap at it instead of mocking me for it.

Now it's just constantly nagging at me, in the back of my mind if I even so much as talk to a woman.

My sex life is not inexistent but it could hardly be worse.
>first time at 18 with a hooker
>lost boner after 5-10 minutes
>she was ugly and old
>ff a year
>get a gf
>about to bang
>can't get hard
>happened a few times until I nailed her with viagra
>didn't come
>get dumped afterwards
>ff another year
>about to get laid
>make out naked
>doesn't let me put it in
>girl leaves afterwards
>get another chick
>can't stay hard cause drunk
>second try with this girl
>can't get hard because hung over and she smelled like ass
>third try, bang her for two hours fueled by viagra but didn't come
>get banged by a dude the next week out of frustration
>not even gay
>puke the whole morning the day afterwards

At least I'm not a virgin.

I never had sex.
Original

>>36660927
That is pretty unecessary cuntiness. Some people really cant fathom other peoples emotions. Sorry that happened bro, what happened to me was understandable as i was not even legal age, but it still manifested into performance insecurities. I couldnt handle it if she said she had to go cuz i suck

>>36660954
Almost same problem, except the banging a dude part but I've definitely thought about it by this point. Though I'm pretty sure I'm not gay, and for some reason I can keep a raging hard-on while jacking off for fucking hours but with a real girl I get inside and I'm limp after five minutes if I can last that long and just quit.

>>36660328
Fuking normies reeee am I the only khhv?

>>36661042
Don't bang a dude if you're not gay. It sounds obvious but trust me with this one. It was the most fucking disgusting thing I've ever done. I'd rather eat shit.

I think anita saarkisian is super qt a fapped some gifs of her

>28 years old
>Had two hookups
>Couldn't get hard either time
>Feel worthless and ashamed

>>36661042
Are your guys me? That's my sex life. I can never stay hard during sex, but can stay hard for hours while jacking off. I've only really had sex once with my god in high school. I've fucked about a dozen hookers, but that doesn't really count. And I usually can barely stay hard to fuck them. I feel like such a loser I just want to die

>>36661175
Gf*

Obviously I hope

>>36661175
Gf*

Obviously I hope
Originality

>>36660328
I a kissless, hugless/handholdless virgin. I don't have any sexual experiences worth mentioning here.

>27 years old
>Never had sex

Hows that for depressing

>>36661175
Man at this point I feel extremely aggravated if anybody tries talking to me about sex or their sex life at work so I just excuse myself or politely ask them to change the subject, not that it fucking works because no one grows up after High School clearly

Most of the people I work with, guys and girls, are convinced I'm either a virgin or a faggot

They can't seem to understand I'm just completely disgusted with myself and have basically given up on having a normal sex life

>>36661175
When I was 18 for me sex was all about the validation. If the present me told the 18 yo me what I just posted I'd reply that at least I got a girl willing to bang me.

But I couldn't care less at this point. Fuck validation, I want my self esteem back.

>>36661253
The first (read: singular) time I had sex I was 27. Maybe 28, hard to remember. I'd say you shouldn't feel too bad about it but even thinking back to how long it took brings me down.

>>36661300
Validation doesn't count for much when you realize you're just surrounded by moron wannabe post-college jocks looking to brag about how virile they are all the time. The self-esteem though? Yeah, I agree. I fucking miss that.

>>36661323
At this point I don't even want to bother. I'm 27 fucking years old, thats not even a plain adult anymore, thats an advanced adult. By this age functional people have learned, experimented, and become experts at sex. Theres no point in starting this late in the game.

>>36660999
At least you've had trips.

>>36660328
at least you got some take this to plebbyit
and don't come back.

>>36662034
grow up, internet tough guy

>>36662259
ILL KICK YOUR GODDAMN ASS FAGGOT.
KEEP PISSING ME OFF AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!!!!!!

i jerked off into my friends moms dirty socks when i was like 15

>>36662300
anon, this is important

was she hot

>>36660810
>>36660811

I don't get why normies are invading /r9k/, you guys must be the lowest of the low of normies to consider coming here.

>>36662644
yeah she was pretty hot. stole them out of the hamper lol