Where did it all goes wrong for you, robots? I want to hear

>>36658244
I now blame everything on losing part of my hearing as a child.
I never learned to communicate properly with other children and you can't really relearn that shit later.
I couldn't understand what anyone was saying in group conversations/classrooms/outside, I could only truly understand one on one.
It is exhausting to try, and I would just give up and sit quietly and daydream.
People didn't have any reason to enjoy my company because I couldn't contribute much.
People were quite dismissive, so fuck them I thought, I isolated myself.
No social skills, years of isolation, lead to being too scared to get a job, permanent neethood.

It never went right, senpai. My entire life was fucked up from the start.

A lot of people go through the same or worse and have successful and fulfilling lives. but i'm just an over sensitive pussy and am unable to move forward.

i'm 28 and just dont fuking care anymore. I feel like i'm 80 and spent.

File: acne-face_15_1.jpg (44KB, 600x450px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 600x450px

Probably around the time I started going through puberty and got acne all over my whole face. I looked like this

>>36658364
same but im legally blind instead, i cant read peoples faces and stuff. Because of this my body language is so bad i stare only at the sky or at the ground.

>>36658244
my first memory of talking to an imaginary friend was this girl in a wheelchair. we talked about how we were going to have sex, and I'm not sure why that memory never left me but it never did. still i cant stop the imaginary friends, or imaginary versions of real people, or visualizing fantasies of potential social interactions. its sort of a beautiful thing, it's like a gateway into my dreams, but at the same time its kind of fucked with my relationships with real people.

>>36658244
Probably around 10 years olds but in reality I've been fucked from the start suffering from neurosis my entire life. Then in 2009 work stress pushed me over the edge which made me turn to drinking. I went from having 4 beers my entire life to drinking Vodka every week night. The initial panic attacks lasted for around 24 hours and I can confidently say that it was the worse day of my life.

>>36658630
Maybe seek help? I don't think that's normal behaviour, even for a depressed robot

>>36658471
>>36658364
No joke I'm actually in a similar boat. Growing up in had a really weird voice. It was very high pitched and nasally and didn't match my body at all. Got mocked ALOT in high school for it and developed social anxiety. My balls eventually dropped but I'm still insecure and have trouble socializing

File: 1489200986778.jpg (114KB, 853x698px) Image search: [Google]

114KB, 853x698px

No one specific event. I've just always been weird and tolerated.

I'm 32, a wizard, working a shitty wageslave job, make enough to afford a 1br apartment, and spend my off time drinking or playing video games. I've mostly given up on ever meeting a woman or trying to better my position in life. The next few years, where I'm still somewhat young (>35) will be where I either finally make something of myself, or I decide to crash and burn and die of either cirrhosis or suicide somewhere around age 40.

What a life, folks!

File: squallirl.png (118KB, 1097x663px) Image search: [Google]

118KB, 1097x663px

squallirl

when I was born

incompetent parents and a crazy mother who ostracized me by forcing me to be vegetarian and didn't let eat candy at parties etc

basically my already present autism was made much worse by my mother's autism and overprotectiveness

for as long as I can remember I've been a loner

File: 1472435570401.jpg (65KB, 418x279px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 418x279px

honestly i'd say highschool, before that i was too innocent to understand any bs people tried to pull with me but in the middle to end i noticed an uprising in people not liking me for some reason and to this day no one has told me why. I had friends, that's the thing, but even they slowly dropped me like i was some form of cancer dragging them down and then one day someone i trusted deeply spread the tale about me being raped by a guy but added how much i apparently enjoyed being ruined and no one supported me or believed me when i told them i didnt enjoy 1 fucking second of it. they instead ridiculed me and laughed at me for the most part. i even began to get groped and harassed by male 'friends' (the kind who befriend you just to push you down) and not much was done by teachers besides detention and a stern telling off. By the end of HS i was just an anxious, nervous wreck too scared to open up again and now i still am because i shut myself in and any sudden appearance of someone behind me makes me jump and truthfully i think thats more related to being molested more than raped because i just sort of expect it via reaction it happened that much

other than that, lifes been okay. nothing much occurs to fuck with me lately and any newer friends ive made have been okay, i dont feel like lifes fixed though it still feels like its gonna keep being shit soon enough

>>36658630
Thats weird but awesome anon, I did a lot of RCs last year and for a few days I was able to do something similar, weird thing was the girl wasn't a even an 8/10, had an odd personality to, she wasn't an ideal fantasy just some repressed memory maybe

>>36658913
Fuuuck man Im 21 but this seems unavoidable for me

papa was a traveling salesmen and I was mamas little autism miracle and youngest of 4 kids when she was 41
I never had a chance

I was born ugly. Literally it. I feel like if I was average+ my life would be 100% different.
I had a GF once, and she was good, but I wanted a different one, and I just couldn't get one, so I stayed with her for too long, and when it fell apart because weren't compatible, I couldn't rebound, and I fell into depression.
Not because I missed her, but because i missed being in a relationship

File: IMG_20170421_200214849.jpg (151KB, 960x1280px) Image search: [Google]

151KB, 960x1280px

>>36658244
I was adopted. So for the first 2 years of my life I was in an orphanage run by nuns and I never got the connection most people get in that important stage of life. As a result I really can't connect with anyone on any kind of emotional level. I was lucky that the parents that adopted me were pretty great and took care of me when I've needed it. It could have been much worse and I try my best to remember that and not act like a total dick. As a teen I had bad acne, glasses, and braces. I was super quiet and awkward. In college I got my braces off, but still acne, glasses, and super social awkwardness kept me from doing anything social despite my first roommate was a frat bro who brought home a new girl almost every night. I would quietly jack off while they had sex. At this point I'm 40. And I've always been INTP. I can honestly say I have never really had any real friends or any meaningful relationships. My only human physical contact has been with an escort and occasionally anonymous sex at the adult theater. Despite all that I have a job I like, and the people I work with think I'm cool in that weird way that they like working with me but I don't get invited to anything outside of work, which is totally fine. Most nights I ride my bike late at night hoping to get hit by a drunk driver because I don't think I have the courage to actually do it myself. Despite that, I'd say I'm actually pretty happy in a way. I'm alone, but I've always been alone. I feel really free without any burden from someone else. pic related because I don't give a fuck

>>36660532

Your story is so close to mine, Anon--adopted, never a good socializer, fool work people into thinking I have social skills, INT_, etc.

And I'm quite a bit older than 40. We just need to get though it.

File: 807279991-alone-anime-boy-go-home-manga-Favim_com-1432474.jpg (13KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 300x300px

>>36658244
Highschool is when things started to fall apart. Problems were definitely there before but highschool is when people started to scare me.

File: Ai_Kotoba_II.png (407KB, 561x316px) Image search: [Google]

407KB, 561x316px

I have, in recent years, began the arduous task of divorcing my sexual drive from my conscious self, or at the very least, acknowledging it only as another base need, like eating or sleeping
But of course, you will interject - what then of fine dining and the like? If eating can be elevated into a form of art, how then is love, the greatest need, not a thing of the greatest good and beauty?
Remember too that as eating drives men to caviar and truffles so too does it drive them to cannibalism under different circumstances
The distinction here, if you will, is the intent to transcend - Fine Dining is an expression of the good fortune of existence and its wonders. Cannibalism, merely driven by a savage hunger.
And yet, is there anyone who would not agree in the case of love our society has become obsessed with the need to the exclusion of the transcendational aspect? That we fufill our baser lust without thought for what love can be?

But noone wants love, only sex.
Perhaps that was where it went wrong, that i couldnt be satisfied with just meaningless, empty sex.

>>36658244
Probably in high school. I didn't work hard enough to get into a good college. I didn't take the major I was studying in college really seriously. I work a retail job with a degree. I'm reclusive and asocial. I think I am agoraphobic

>>36660532
Don't know if I should feel bad or not
Made me sad overall.
I usually don't look when crossing at stoplights, if it's green hand and I get hit, I'm not at fault.
>either die or get money
>worse is hit'n'run or I get permanently injured in a bad way

It was all wrong always until I graduated from high school and decided it was time for a change.

I became a huge normalfag.

Then it all went wrong again when I got a gf and couldn't get hard. Since then it's all been wrong. I've got laid a few times since but I depend on viagra. I've got zero confidence.

File: 1490062363744.jpg (40KB, 600x454px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 600x454px

Every day is a changing obstacle where the hole to fit through changes shape and you refuse to participate you're crunched and contorted to fit the size necessary to go further and it's work on your part whether it's automatic or not and then there come the family 1-2-3 in their own flocks and cycles, soon 5 years has passed by and it's long since anyone asked you what you were doing and it only feels like last week they were wanting something though nobody actually wants anything of course. It's been at this corner in the wall venting for nearly a decade now with no resolve beside the strictly emotional baggage. First it's school then work then nothing then work then school then work, diet, release, diet, release in whichever order is least torturous. Sometimes it's easier to do 12 hours lifting than it is 24 hours in bed. A conversation for me goes off the rails within the greeting. The opinions, the ideas, the identities, the world views fluctuate nonstop with no resolve or consistency. From the very beginning I never listened to anyone and ended up doing everything you'd think a person would say no to sooner or later. Often titled the worst person on the planet, I spend all my time thinking how to do right. There is no life to speak of, just this sexual mass lurking in the lines of text. What now? has been on the split-end forefront of my mind forever. There are friends, there are happenings, but none of it's happening. There are meanings, even, but nothing enough to ground without succumbing to where I definitely don't want to be. What's worse is my situation written seems comparatively manageable against the wait-line of how fucked some other people are. There is no escape for all times. I'm 16.

>>36660797
YOUR 16 SHUT THE FUCK UP. I REMEMBER WHATS IT LIKE, YOU THINK YOU'RE AN ADULT BUT TRUST ME YOU'RE STILL VERY MUCH A CHILD.

some sorta nerve damage in my hands
everything hurts
even water hitting my hands in the shower hurts