Do you ever regret not standing up for yourself, not doing anything

>>36654110
Standing up for yourself does nothing other than making the torment worse.

>"oh my god anon is like such a total psycho!"
>"chad, protect me with your thundercock"
>"stacey I'm gonna teach anon a lesson he'll never forget for that!"

Most people don't even like Chads beating robots up, it's just that their social value is too high to cast them out. The friendship of other popular normies is too valuable in terms of potential social gains for normies, it doesn't mean they personally approve of the methods used to get it.
Retaliation + lack of social status = permanent recognition as 'that weird guy with anger problems that nobody talks to".

Besides, you're romanticising it. The real world isn't some dumb anime where everyone stops to gasp at 'HOW STRONG MC IS' for retaliating. If you had hit a Chad with a heavy object or beaten Stacey, no matter how justified it was, a horde of Chads would have beaten you into a 2 decade long coma.

>>36654335
This, sorry OP social power levels

>>36654382
OP is being hyperbolic anyway, even a mid-tier normie couldn't escape social ostracism if they retaliated against a super-Chad who was bullying them. This explains it perfectly

>7/10 stacy in my high school
>mid-tier normie, but chads take a liking to her
>ultimate chad dates her
>things get out of hand because he's chad
>she breaks up with him in a very volatile way, not all details were ever found out, but she's completely justified
>this stacy is completely ostracised by everyone, even the outcasts until a bunch of newfriends move to the school a few years later and bring her back into the fold

This is why robots aren't the only bad school experiences. Pretty much every normie who isn't naturally a super chad or super stacy is condemned to hiding behind a mask 24/7 & suppressing their individuality. Retaliation harms everyone who isn't a top tier social animal.

File: IMG_0737.png (157KB, 601x548px) Image search: [Google]

157KB, 601x548px

>>36654335
>implying I care what other people think about me
It's not about social status, it's about what they did to me. I couldn't care less about if people thing I have anger issues or if I'm a psychopath. My desire for revenge is personal. It's that they went out of their way to cause physical harm to me and insult me, and they got away with it. Let's see if they still think it's funny when they're house is set ablaze. Sure, insurance will cover the cost, but you can't replace the life of a loved one. That will haunt them for the rest of their time on this wicked planet

>>36654587
And it'll also bring you down to their level.

Maybe you don't care & that's fine. Point is that you gain nothing from doing it. They gained status & influence from hurting you, the only thing you gain is an even shittier life when you're convicted.

I wasn't talking exclusively about social status, my point was that if you had retaliated, the bullying would evolve into planed isolation & targeted attacks. IE, what you hated would become more common as opposed to stopping.

>>36654516
See >>36654587
My motives are rooted in revenge, not to gain the respect and approval of my peers, but to seek vengeance for the bodily harm and insults they gave to me. I couldn't care less if every person hates my very existence, much less think I have "anger issues" or am a psychopath

>>36654110
Hey, bud, I know how you feel.

In grade school I was an overweight hamlet. People made fun of me and shouted at me whenever I ate lunch. It fucked me up so much that I started starving myself.

I lost a bunch of weight and now I'm fairly fit. But I can't get over what they said and how it effects me to this day. I still starve myself because I'm so scared of ridicule if anyone ever sees me eat.

My point is, I know how it feels to live in the past. The reason we do shit like that is because the present isn't very appealing either. When you feel alone now, you think about the way things used to be. And when you think about the way things used to be those wounds that should have closed by now stay as fresh as the day they were made. And it's hard to live with that. I think there is no "get over it" solution to this kind of stuff. When someone takes away your value as a person it's hard to get it back, even years later.

The only way I've learned to cope is to try to make a better life for myself now. I've tried to make friends, and the only way I did that was forcing myself to be around people. That sucks. If meeting new people is too difficult for you, maybe try meditation. That works for me.

Idk, this is coming from a current normie, former robot, that decided to revisit /b/ for old time's sake.

>>36654110
Did it once when I was very young. It was worth it since I was little and I didn't get into trouble. I decked the prick in the face. It's one of my favourite memories. The way the world is now though, getting into a fight as a teen or an adult could land you into some shit.

>>36654335
Use a gun then
You can't lose

File: IMG_1326.jpg (57KB, 1366x768px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 1366x768px

>>36654666
>They gained status & influence from hurting you, the only thing you gain is an even shittier life when you're convicted.
That's where you're wrong. By obtaining vengeance I gain something they quite possibly never will in their whole life: peace of mind. I gave up seeking friends and relationships a long time ago when I realized they were unobtainable, and even if I did have them, they would only bring me more harm. If I die right now, my only regret is that I let those people walk all over me throughout high school, making my mental health spiral out of control and causing me to sink into depression. Even if I only take out one chad out of the many people that caused me this pain I would be able to rest easy, knowing that I showed them a pain that might even compare to the pain I felt during my life. Say I burn his house down, and he wasn't able to save one of his kids. For the rest of his life, he'd have to live with the pain of knowing that he got out of that fire at the cost of his own child's life. He'd think "maybe if I didn't make anon'a life living hell, my child would still be with us". Maybe, he'd carry that guilt for the rest of his life. Of course, if I did commit a crime like that, I would be imprisoned, most likely for life, so to avoid this I'd take my own life. At least I'd die knowing that I did something. I'd die with no regrets. In my final moments, my head would finally be clear, and maybe then I could experience even a fraction of what true happiness is like.
If I would have retaliated in high school, at least I would know that there was nothing I could do about the targeted attacks. I wouldn't care about the social isolation, I already experienced that. But instead of me being attached and accepting it, I'd do something about it, and I'd probably get beat up, but at least I know that I didn't let them do it.

>>36654110
Just forget dude. It doesn't matter if people used to make fun of you.
It's more important that you realize how dumb they were and that you're a nice person since you never bullied anyone.
Don't ever be vengeful.

>>36655158
Sometimes I think: these people treated me like an animal, all throughout school, abusing me for their personal enjoyment. They teachers didn't make them atone for what they did, they didn't care about me. Why should they? Nobody cares about me! I was just some scrawny weak kid whose mom died in childbirth and dad was always away working. I had a chance to make them feel pain once in their life for what they did to me and I blew it!
>no you didn't
Then it hits me
>I'm still in this world
>blood still runs through my veins
>I still inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide
>I am still capable of movement and thinking
>and so are they
I can still inflict pain on them. I can still show them how they made me feel. Even if it's on a smaller scale then what they did to me, I can still show them. Even if I die in the process I can still do it.

>>36655324
I wonder what they did to you that was so bad.
I was isolated too, for 6 years. I used to go to school and not talk to anyone at all. Everyone was making fun of me.
One day, a scumbag enters the classroom and comes to slap me, leaving a red mark on my face. I could only react by saying a few words in a very low voice.
Still, no matter what happened to me, I don't care about those people and I don't want to hurt them because that would make me feel even more worthless.
I'm sure you have more important stuff to think about.

>>36654110
I look back and realize that there was many times I could've raped a Stacy and I would have faced zero repercussions, and a part of me still feels a tinge of regret for not doing it.

>>36655651
>I'm sure you have more important stuff to think about.
Not at all actually. The only reason why I stay in this wicked world is because of my desire for vengeance. I care for nothing else. Sure, I play vidya and watch anime, but that's only just to occupy my time. I guess it's kinda hard to explain what I'm feeling desu. Nothing binds me to this world
As for what they did to me, they did a lost more than I can fit in the 20000 charachters allowed in a post. One of the people I hate the most is my own father. It's because of him that I was sent to a psych ward 3 times. It's to bad I never had the pleasure of taking his life. That's another thing he took away from me. Can you imagine, the one person you're supposed to be close to, beating and raping you almost every time you see him? Luckily, he was away for work most of the time. I don't know why he left so much inheritance to me. Maybe he did love me after all.

>>36655714
I feel that too. I would've raped the one that bullied me the most. I can imagine grabbing her hands and pulling them behind her back while she's bent over and sliding my hard cock into her pussy. She would be bent over and unable to break free. I think the best part about raping her would be the satisfaction of taking her life though when you finish.

>>36655814
Sounds like you had a really bad time. But hey, look ahead, imagine what you could do with your life once you escaped your current world. You could go somewhere far and meet interesting people. Go where nobody knows who you are and start a new life.
Do you have any physical/health problems? If you don't then find a way to stop your thoughts and live your life.
Also, I would like to know what they did to you. You said your father rapes you, but you don't mean literally, right?

I'm 33 and still think about getting revenge on the fucker that sucker punched me when I was 14.

>>36656179
Raped, not raped He literally raped me. A lot. I'm a guy by the way. He owned his own company, so usually he wasn't home untill I was asleep. About once every 3 days though, he'd be home early. Our only interactions would go like this
>I would get home from school
>is see my father is home early, and I'd great him
>my father would respond by telling me to suck his erect penis
>if I complained, I was beaten.
>he would punch me across the face
>then he'd slam his fist into my stomach, knocking the wind out of me
>then he'd slam my open mouth down into his erection
>if I didn't finish him off in 5 minutes, he'd pull down my jeans and rape me anally
>once he was finished, he'd leave and go into his room
>before I was 10, no one ever taught me to use the microwave, so if I couldn't find any food like an apple or something lying around the house (which I usually wouldn't) I'd have to wait until school to get food
>my father was a very wealthy man, but the way I looked, it looked like I was the son of a coal miner
>id collect change on the ground and take it into good will to buy a cheap shirt and jeans
>since I was malnourished, I wasn't very tall and I was very slim, so luckily I could buy stuff for relatively cheap
>I also probably smelled like seamen, since I could never wash my clothes and my father got some on me sometimes
>since I looked so trashy, people naturally avoided me when I was young, so I didn't develop proper social skills
>people even went as far as avoiding me, and many bullied me
>I think it's because of this isolation that the doctors say I developed mental disorders
>I started freaking out and my mind felt like it was breaking down
>I was pulling my hair out and growing my nails to try to inflict harm into myself
>I started developing obsessions and compulsions to solve said obsessions
>I also started hearing voices, and seeing things that I believe aren't actually there
Continued

I agree, I sorely regret not brutally beating up everyone who bullied me. I did nothing. I just took it all. And it made me into an omega who doesn't fight anyone.

>>36656633
I guess I should talk more about school too
>elementary school wasn't too bad
>people just stared at me, ignored me, didn't include me, and just made fun of me for the small things, and hit me occasionally
>I made one friend during my 5 years there
>it was during 5th grade
>I though I actually had someone to rely on
>after a week of our friendship, we were on the swing playing during recess, and one of the popular kids comes up and makes fun of me
>my new friend just stands and watches
>then the popular kid hits me
>my new friend just stood and watched, and didn't say a thing
>I felt so betrayed
>I went to the teacher and told her this kid hit me and she didn't believe me
>so I called the person I thought was my friend over to confirm what happened
>and he fucking tells her it didn't happen
>I ended up having to be suspended for a day because of falsely accusing a kid
>when I got back I asked my friend why he said no
>and he fucking says he'd rather have the popular kid like him then me
>during middle school is when it got worse
>I started realizing I desired friendships more than anything, and I didn't want middle school to go the way elementary did
>so I tried my hardest to make friends
>I did yard work for my neighbors for a little bit of money to buy nicer clothes
>I started getting more involved in school like clubs and stuff
>people that went to my elementary school still knew who I was, but the people from other schools didn't, so I thought I had a chance
>I didn't know how wrong I was
>no matter how hard I tried to make friends, the foundation for basic social skills just wasn't there
>everybody that I talked to realized how awkward I was, and I was often last to be picked when the teacher would tell us to get into groups to work on a project
>but I was stubborn
>I wouldn't let that stop me
>now I know what happens, and I wish younger me would've just given up

>>36657010
I have more to the story by the way I just need to type it out

>>36654110
>skinny nerdy highschool freshman
>big fat dude singles me out
>always fucking with me in 1st period art
>comes to hug me, says "come to daddy"
> try to get away but cant
>squeezes my ass as he's bear hugging me in front of class
>everyone laughing, class is ending, autistwalk out fast as fuck to hide

>fast forward to senior year, havent seen him in any of my classes until then, our school had like almost 10,000 kids
>started working out regularly in freshman year to try to compensate for autism, pretty strong and gained a lot of weight
>this fat motherfucker is in my 2nd period chemistry class, i see him up front, im sitting all the way in the back with my buddy
>about 37 kids in the class, i have contacts now, dress in regular clothes instead of cumstained sweatpants that i never washed all year and a hoodie, cut my autist greasy long hair
>doesn't really notice me since i look a lot different and big class
>bell rings, tell my buddy ill see him at lunch, have to go talk to a teacher
>follow him to his next period, our school has a lot of different buildings and we walk outside to get to other classes
>pure fucking rage builds up inside of me as i remember my helplessness and humiliation, walking behind him as i look at his fat fucking ass waddling without a care in the world
>going down a ramp, come up behind him and grab his peanut head
>smash it into the rail and start throwing haymakers with only my right hand at his face/head
>he's kinda curled up against the rail with his head down, but still standing just shocked and doing nothing but covering up
>people start laughing and crowd up around us
>face is bloodied, his tooth went through his lip
>just stare him in the eyes for a solid 3 seconds with my fist cocked back, pure look of cowardness, in his eyes, looks like a dog you kicked in the rib
>walk away casually saying nothing to my next period class

No charges were filed as long as I didn't spread what happened to anybody.

>>36657010
>eventually, people started to pick up on how much of a loser I was, and go out of their way to humiliate me to seem tough
>they would bump into me, steal my loose change and lunch, beat me up in front of other kids
>just stuff like that
>since I had no money, and my father never gave me anything, I never developed any hobbys so I never had anything to do
>so I tried and tried to make a friend
>I sat alone at lunch every day
>eventually around the middle of 7th grade I came to a realization
>everyone hates me
>and people terrify me
>I'm not meant to have friends
>so I started to get really anxious thinking about interacting with people face to face and going to school
>I hated talking to people and I gave up the act of trying to look cool and trying to make friends
>i started going out of my way to not talk to anyone
>after all, only bad things can come from it
>despite my attempts to isolate myself, I was still bullied and picked on
>if I told an administrator or teacher, they wouldn't believe me or care about what was happening
>every time I would say something, it would just be something embarrassing and humiliating so I tried to stop talking
>the Chads would beat me up infrint of all the girls and steal my food from lunch and throw it away and some days I wouldn't have anything to eat
>they would literally watch and laugh as I went through the garbage can to eat, and they'd block me from going to the drinking fountain
>even if I knew how to operate a microwave, what's the point if I don't have anything to put in it
>so I stopped caring about my homework and grades and clothes and just did as much work as I can to get money to buy food
>otherwise I couldn't eat or I'd have to dig through dumpsters
>around the summer of 7th grade going into 8th grade is when I started to break down mentally and experiencing the things I described in the first part

File: 1425935674846.png (296KB, 600x578px) Image search: [Google]

296KB, 600x578px

I was too weird to bully I think, didn't really elicit much of a serious reaction, but the school bully ended up hanging himself.

>>36657276
Please keep going anon
Originolli originolli

>>36656633
>>36657010
Damn that's some fucked up shit, I'm sorry to read that.
It's not gonna be easy for you to recover. I wish I could help you somehow.
>>36657276
You...you're fucking kidding, right? The garbage?
Idk anon, I read all your story so far and I'm speechless. I understand why you're like this now.

>>36657276
more stories of the rape, thats fucked up dude I'm sorry

>>36654110
>Do you ever regret not standing up for yourself, not doing anything to stop the bullies from making fun of you?

My bullies were literally taking steroids when I was in school. If I fought back, I would be flattened to a two-dimensional plane.

I was homeschooled after the end of sixth-grade though.

>>36657276
>I hated myself
>I always felt like everything that went wrong in my life was my fault
>I know I probably shouldn't think like this but if I was more charismatic or better looking, I bet my life would be a lot better
>I started crying a lot and I felt like my mind was spiraling out of control
>I started getting weird thoughts about touching certain things and had to wash my hands untill they bled to stop the thoughts
>I heard voices in my head that weren't mine
>I even fucking started seeing people following me
>during the summer of 9th grade my father bought a tv and put it in the living room
>finally I had something to do
>he even showed me how to use it, it was one of the only positive interactions I had with my father
>he explained that there were different channels that broadcasted different things
>some where news, some were entertainment, some were sports
>he gave the remote to me and left the room
>I turned on the tv and I was confused
>I flipped through every channel on the guide and it was all the same
>on every channel there was just a boy on it hanging from a tree
>the boy was me
>I screamed and ran away out of the house
>I didn't know where to go, and a figure in black was standing blocking the street that was the only exit to the neighborhood. I hear him say something, but I can't make out what
>I ran back to the house crying
>the voices in my head were different today
>usually they just comment on what I'm doing but today they're telling me to run away and hang myself like on the television
>the fact that I'm running back home makes them angry
>I run to the house and to my fathers room and tell him everything
>I think he saw this as an opportunity to get rid of me, and he sent me off to a psych ward for the summer for schizophrenia
>apparently I was hallucinating
>but I saw everything with my own eyes
>I got back in time for 10th grade and things were different
>I started hallucinating a lot more

>>36657636
Holy shit this scared me. Truly horrific.

>>36654110

I think you would like this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQ5oqgJWJyw

>>36657810
Same, this one make up for the entire night of browsing

>>36657636
>it was different in a sense of my mental health was a lot worse, but the bullying was pretty much the same
>I was in the showers one day for physical education and I thought I was the only one there
>one of the chads walks up to me from behind and grabs me by the throat
>at first I thought he was going to beat me up as usual but instead he took an approach more similar to what my father does
>he shoved my head down to his erect penis and forced me to suck it
>I'm not gay but if I didn't I don't know what he'd do to me
>he is a lot bigger than me and I'm just some weak short scrawny kid
>After a couple of minutes of me sucking him he pushed my head down and held it while I ejaculated
>eventually I managed to pull my head off from under his hands and tried to run
>I shouldn't have done that
>he beat me up in the shower and pushed me down so I hit the back of my head on the floor and passed out
>I woke up and I was at the school nurse
>the nurse tells me I was freaking out in the shower and passed out and chad called 911
>eventually when she leaves chad comes in and laughs at me
>he knows I have schizophrenia and he used that as an excuse to make it look like I was hallucinating so he could get away with making me give him a blow job
>I wanted to hit him more than ever but I know if I did I'd just be beat up again and he'd say I was hallucinating
>I should've just hit him because I ended up being sent to another psych ward anyway during fall break
>I tried telling everyone there that it was a mistake
>I shouldn't be here
>everyone just laughed at me
>nobody believed that my father rapes me
>nobody believes that I would be starved
>nobody believes that I get beat up every day
>I spent most of my break in my room in the psych ward crying
>I was let out a day before fall ended
>I actually wanted to stay a little because there at least I don't have to talk to anyone
>and I get food
>10th grade went on normally after that
>by normally i mean normally for me

Most of the people who insulted me apologized later. I was morbidly obese, but for some reason no one wanted to commit to bullying me.

Why do you think it kept happening to you guys?

I fantasize about having done it, but I don't regret not having done it. However bad your life is now, it'd be an oom worse in prison. Lots of people get that temporary euphoria of vengeance, then spend years in a cell. The euphoria wears off quickly.

>>36657996
>before I knew it, 10th grade was over and it was the summer again
>my dad was home more than usual, and he started forcing me to give him blow jobs and he started to rape me more
>I tried to fight back now that I was taller but I was still short and scrawny and couldn't fight here well
>one day he after he finishes in my anus I decide I've had enough of this shitty life
>The voices in my head are telling me to kill myself as usual but there's someone I'd like to kill first
>I have about $30 saved up from mowing lawns
>I go to Walmart to buy the biggest knife I can for the small amount of money I have
>it's not very big but it's worth a shot
>I get home and try to open his door
>of course it's locked
>I ask if I can come in and he tells me to fuck off
>so I stay up all night and wait anxiously
>I'm not alone because I got myself
>the voices in my head told me to just end it but I waited until morning
>when he came out at 6 in the morning I jumped fully prepared to kill him
>when he saw the knife he looked shocked, and ran back into his room and called the police
>the one person I wanted to kill and he was sending me to a psych ward for a third time
>I was building up the courage to kill myself when the police came and took the knife from me
>we left my house and I pleaded with them, telling them about everything but they wouldn't listen to what I had to say
>to them I was just some crazy kid that was going back to the crazy house
>when we got to the psych ward I was crying pretty hard
>I talked to a new therapist there and this one believed me a little
>I lifted up my shirt and showed her all the bruises and cuts
>the therapist also noticed how scrawny I was and was shocked
>I told her my father is mostly responsible for this
>she leaves the room for a moment and comes back in and we continue talking
>I thought she was just another person who didn't believe my story

>>36658482
Your story is fucked up. However, you still shouldn't do anything crazy, you will regret it later and lose your mind even more.
Honestly I don't know what to tell you, kinda got me speechless, but for sure I'd like to be friends with you.

>>36658482
>a day later I was told my father had committed suicide
>apparently the therapist called someone and the police came to my fathers house
>he took his own life using the knife I tried to kill him with
>i know I should have been feeling sorry
>even if he was this evil person he was my father after all
>I couldn't comprehend what was going on
>I couldn't believe he was actually dead
>the man that tormented me from the beginning was finally gone
>instead I just tried to forget about it
>but I couldn't forget about it
>he didn't even leave a note
>I was in that psych ward for a pretty long time
>when I came out I had to live with my grandparents and go to a different school
>there weren't that many kids there, and none of them talked to much
>it was better, but I still felt anxious around people
>at least I got to eat
>my grandparents are nice but I think they're scared of me
>the last time they saw me I was this sweet little baby
>now I'm a monster, and I'm living under their roof
>my father left behind a small fortune in my name
>I don't know why he wanted me to have it
>maybe he loved me after all
>I ended up graduating with a 2.7 gpa 6 years ago
>when I graduated I realized how bored I was
>no job would hire me
>I didn't develop any hobbys as a kid and none interested me now
>all my social hardships are gone now that i don't talk to anyone except for my grandparents
>the only thing that's left is my mental issues
>my father was mostly to blame for that but so were my peers at my old school
>I started playing video games and watching anime to try to distract from my mental issues but they couldn't keep them away
>it's weird
>living in isolation is making my mental disorders worse then when I was being bullied and raped
>every night I dream about being beat by my dad or by the chads at my old school
>did I really deserve all that?

>>36659116
>I started daydreaming about 2 years ago
>id go back and id think
>what could I have done to avoid this
>maybe if i had try to fight back sooner
>people wouldn't have seen me as something they could just walk over
>maybe they wouldnt have seen me as someone that they could beat, steal from, and rape
>I started to get very bitter
>I should have done something
>then the voice in my head interrupts me
>it tells me I still can
>I'm still alive aren't I?
>so are they
>they have friends and families and careers
>and I have myself
>I can still make them pay for what they did
>it's too late to make my father pay but I can still make them pay
>they helped caused me to be this mentally ill scrawny weak kid that can do nothing with his life and they can get away with it and get a job, a family, and friends
>This just isn't fair
>I can't stop obsessing over revenge
>I have nothing in this world to lose
>I'm fully prepared to join my father in hell
>even if I only take one of my old bullies out, or one of his family members, I will feel at peace, like I can finally rest easy
>I'll finally get closure
>then I can take my life and free myself of these voices plaguing my mind
>maybe in my last moments I might feel what happiness is

>>36659224
Why target family members? They didn't fucking do anything to to you. Or is it a loose end type of thing? Because I never understood wanting to kill someone's entire family. That ONE fucking guy or those group of asshole's yeah. sure. THEY deserve what ever is coming but their families?

>>36659437
I know it sounds cruel, but some things hurt more than death. Experiencing the death of a family member is horrifying. Even I felt pretty bad losing my father and you read how bad he was. The idea is making chad sad over the death of a loved one. I'd prefer to just kill chad, but if I decide to commit arson he may escape while one of his family members doesn't

>>36654110
I won a rap battle against my high school bullies and earned their respect

>>36659510
Well if you really want to hurt Chad that way you'd have to target his family specifically and hope he lives with that grief for the rest of his life. But then you;ll never harm him personally.

>>36654858
You cant lose what is already lost

>>36659584
Yeah that's a good point. I also have other ideas like making chad a paraplegic or somehow giving him a chronic illness or something

>>36659667
>giving him a chronic illness or something
ok dr doom

>>36659697
I mean like stabbing him and some of his family members with a needle containing the aids virus. I guess it sounds kinda dumb but it's just an idea

>>36654110
I regret not standing up to my parents, I was pretty much bossed by them my whole life and never really became my own thing. I'll try move apart from them but don't think anything will change

>>36654110
>Do you ever regret not standing up for yourself, not doing anything to stop the bullies from making fun of you?

No, because my bullies were school teachers and I was too young to have the mental capacity to do so.