Just bombed another final. I used to be smart, but my memory

I know you all have a right not to care, I just felt like venting. But it won't really help, will it? I've needed to go see the doctor for a long time, and my insurance still isn't right. It'll be a while before I can make an appointment, though, and I don't know how I'll make it through this next month.

>>36644206
Get antidepressants

>>36643918
>I meditate, I exercise, I see a therapist, I got a job, and I eat a decent diet, but I still feel dead inside.
As a NEET who does fuck all, this makes me sad. If those things doesn't work, what will?

>>36644361
Meh, he can give it a try, but no one I've talked to actually felt better on them. Also I read in psychology book that 70-90% of the effects are placebo.

>>36644494
>If those things doesn't work, what will?
It depends on your issue. Mine is Anhedonia, which is basically one of the biggest "Fuck you"s that life can give. It literally sucks all joy and pleasure out of everything, and it can last for years.

Other problems might be fixed by those things, but they're not doing much right now.

>>36644631
Fucking hell man, that's my exact problem too. The only times I wouldn't mind being dead is when I'm drunk or on opiates. I even managed to have sex with this pretty cute girl last year... but it didn't give me anything. I might as well have jerked off.

>>36644752
Interesting. I don't usually fantasize about suicide, but when I'm doing especially shitty (like today), it feels nice to know that it's always an option.
>I even managed to have sex with this pretty cute girl last year... but it didn't give me anything
Similar thing happened to me. Found the perfect girl that's exactly my type, and we got along super well, but after it was over, I felt totally neutral like I always am. You know you should be feeling some kind of pleasure, but there's nothing.

>>36644858
>You know you should be feeling some kind of pleasure, but there's nothing.
Yep.. Pretty sure I could win a billion dollars and not feel a thing. Only thing that can give me pleasure is drugs.

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Who else has the issue of studying for weeks and weeks and then not remembering anything while taking the exam?

>>36643918
Dear Anon, do you like reading?
Because if you do I can tell you that I was on the brink of where you are now and a book helped me. "War and Peace" did it for me (don't be afraid, just start it and it will suck you in). Thoreau is a great read for those who feel unmotivated and without energies. If you've forgotten what everyday affection and passion really feel like read Marquez' "100 years of solitude".

I wish you well Anon

>>36644947
I've had that exact thought many times. It's like, what am I going to do? Go to France and feel empty there too? After a certain point, you get this sense in your gut that an activity will be boring before you even do it, and it's been right every time so far.

>>36644991
I used to, but in the Fall/Winter of 2014 it faded away. Last year I read a shit load of classic books like A Tale of Two Cities, Heart of Darkness, Things Fall Apart, The Trial, Madame Bovary, Blood Meridian, All The King's Men, and others, and felt nothing. I've got a copy of War and Peace I could read sometime, but it feels pointless in my current state.

>>36644987
tsuyu is cute,
maybey i should acutally read this comic

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>>36645159
The anime has top-tier music, watch it instead, and then read the rest of the manga

>>36645088
Do you know what may have cause this? For me it was smoking weed

This is the plight of the modern white man. We're on a path to self destruction and there's no stopping it.

>>36645249
Nope, not really. My later childhood was super rough due to my parents arguing a lot, but it wasn't anything seriously traumatizing. It just popped up out of nowhere and got progressively worse. I pray to god it's just hormones and not some serious disorder.

>>36645273
There were lots of white people there, I was the only one suffering.

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>>36643918
Read books, get some puzzle books and do those, and also practice memory sports.

You'll thank me later.

>>36645353
Might try some if I have any around. There's so many problems at once, like lack of energy and apathy, I'm just not sure how to handle it all.

We as humans need a goal in order to feel happiness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OscD3RYo6o

I also used to feel dead inside until I got myself a goal. Right now my goals are getting an out of body experience, living a more conscious-oriented life (if you meditate you know what I'm talking about) and finishing a song I'm creating.

You said you meditate, why don't you try to stay in a meditative state throughout the day? You will quickly realize you're not completely conscious the entire time. Practice this every day and your concentration will be sharpened like a sword.

>No matter how I fight back, things just keep getting worse.

Sometimes you've got to do the exact opposite of fighting back. Sometimes you just need to let go instead.

>>36643918
I've had a similar issue OP. For the past 2 years, my thinking and memory and ability to focus and happiness have all been decreasing.
The reasons for this that I have realized are the lack of reading books, the lack of spending time with friends, the lack of material to challenge my mind, unhappiness, poor nutrition, addiction to my computer, lack of creative endevours, lack of proper sleep management, lack of memory exercising, and probably many more things.
The biggest things you can do is stop using your computer, and start doing activities that require time to get a reward from, like reading a good book, or making something you can be proud of. And if you can, social interaction with academically inclined people will be a tremendous help.

>>36645437
>We as humans need a goal in order to feel happiness.
Not sure I buy this. I was very happy without a goal even a couple years ago, but now even when I come up with something to do, satisfying it doesn't feel good. Like, I'll spend several hours making a song in FL Studio or drafting up a story in Notepad, but once it's done I don't necessarily feel any different for doing it.

>meditative state
It helps the day pass faster, but it doesn't make it more pleasurable. Those things appear to take years of experience to attain some level of satisfaction from it. I do meditate at least 15 minutes a night, and while it's better than not doing it, the terrible moments like today still happen.

>>36645495
I suspect many of these are contributing to my problems as well. But have you tried doing it yourself?
(not OP)

yeah I don't buy all this "depression is caused by unused mind" stuff. Athletic university students get it too, so what should they do... do more exercise and more reading?
it's not going to help

>>36645555
>Not sure I buy this. I was very happy without a goal even a couple years ago

Are you sure you're not just looking through rose colored glasses? Everything usually seems better in the past because of nostalgia, even though you probably didn't feel that way in the past. Also when we're younger our goals are usually set up for us so it may seem like we don't have one. Most people start to feel unhappy when they're done with school and they no longer know what to do with their lives.

And maybe you don't challenge yourself enough with FL Studio/story writing. I also use FL Studio and I've had many frustrating hours trying to add new VSTs and plugins, but now I finally have the sounds I was looking for, and it sounds way better than the standard plugins.

>but it doesn't make it more pleasurable
It will bro. Everything becomes better if you're relaxed and completely conscious at the same time. It's like doing drugs without the negative side effects.

> I do meditate at least 15 minutes a night
Well now you have a goal to turn that 15 minutes a day to 30 minutes a day. I do it every time I wake up and before I go to bed, and it has improved my life in many ways.

>>36645601
There are many factors when it comes to depression. Even a simple thing such as a lack of sunlight can cause depression.

OP's life seems to be in order, except for that single thing that's making him miserable, and I believe that thing is the lack of a goal.

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>>36645797
>rose colored glasses
I had issues getting friends, sure, but life is completely different when you still have pleasures and hobbies. I used to be obsessed with music, and figured out my exact niche until I was very happy with what I found. Listening to music used to be amazing - for some of the albums in this chart, I briefly experienced bliss when listening to them. Last December was the last time I enjoyed an album, and after that it was like a switch. The atmosphere doesn't connect anymore, I feel zero emotional attachment to anything I hear. This happened to every other hobby of mine, but this one devastated me because it was the last one I had and my most cherished.

I understand what you mean about boredom, directionlessness, and ennui. For a really long time, I thought that was my problem. But I saw everything I loved in life disappear before my eyes. I know that my perception of the world is totally different from that of most people's around me. My personality, beliefs, passions, and goals have all faded to dust. Having a goal might help a tiny bit, but this is by and large a biological issue.

>Everything becomes better if you're relaxed and completely conscious
Yeah, slightly. It has helped get rid of some anxiety I had giving speeches, but as far as baseline pleasure goes, it only helps a little.

>30 minutes
Not ready for that yet. I've done 25 a night in the past, but it doesn't seem necessary.

>>36646140
Don't feel sad for not experiencing the same feelings you used to feel when you were younger. Your tastes are continuously evolving, or else we would still be watching Pokemon and playing flash games on the internet.

There's this one saying that goes like this:
''If you are living in the past, you are depressed. If you are living in the future, you are anxious. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.''

Stop living in the past, Anon. And you can achieve this through meditation, since meditation is all about bringing yourself to the here and now.

>Yeah, slightly.

You think it only helps slightly because you've only dipped your toes into a vast and endless ocean.


>Not ready for that yet.
Then build up to that slowly. I strongly believe 15 minutes isn't enough to get the full benefits of meditation. I usually don't become fully relaxed until after 15 minutes. You are simply teasing yourself at this point.