so who here does not feel feelings anymore. like if a girl were

I identify with all that but the experiencing emotion on the inside part. A few weeks ago, I got along very well with a girl who's just my type, but afterwards felt no happiness on the inside. There was a very vague feeling that something good happened, but no tangible amount of pleasure, as if I were remembering the events of a night many years in the past.

>>36631592
I feel it only when people are new and I have the challenge of getting to know them. They often dissapoint me and my interest wanes very quickly. There have only been a few people in my life who I've been able to care for. I think, I think I just need to keep looking bros. But I just feel so empty and angry all the time. Half the time I want to be alone but then I feel some desire inside mostly to improve myself somehow. Then it goes back to the same old debauchery and laziness that drove me there in the first place. Why does my brain function this way? I just want to be stable, is that too much to ask?

>>36631684
I think I know this feel anon, tell me do you get upset knowing that women have it so much easier than us? They receive attention all the time if they're even remotely attractive. Now the ones who aren't I would argue have it worse than we do but by and large there are far more beta males than females out there. Women need attention, they really do start to go mad if they don't have any. Men have a stronger tolerance for isolation, it's just how things are. But anyway back to my point. Since women have it so much easier I always get angry about it, I mean its seen as unusual to not be dating someone as a semi attractive girl in highschool. It's always seemed so unfair that they had this emotional support all the time. I never had this as a boy, even though I was a kind kid people never liked me. It tore me up so much that now I hate people who had the support I didn't. I also hate myself for hating them for it. Ah it's a vicious cycle I know, I have to break it somehow.

>>36631819
They have their own problems, I think. It's true beauty is a huge advantage early in life, but quality of life fades drastically once that falls apart. Men in old age can be respected for their wisdom or retain an air of coolness, but old women really have nothing. On top of that, women can get laid, but for them it's not as desirable. Sex is a bigger deal for women because despite feminist movements few people really want a women who has been around.

Plus there's the fact that you'll be ostracized in most hobbies you try to get into. On 4chan this is solved by anonymity, but if you ever plan to get involved in real life, you'll 100% be treated differently and there's nothing you can do about it. Consider also the fact that no one would really give a shit about you. People are attracted to your body, but they don't give a fuck about you, and are solely interested due to the pleasure they could obtain from having sex with you. This is true for attractive men too, but at least men have more going for them than beauty generally.

I'm not a feminist by any means. The sexes just have their own unique problems. I will say that I am glad to be a man, though.

>>36631819
>Women need attention, they really do start to go mad if they don't have any
their self esteem is magnitudes worse than ours, but they have the attention to relieve it.

>>36631684
we are like this because its a defense mechanism

>>36632175
Maybe. My parents fought a lot as a kid, and it probably did some emotional damage that I don't fully understand yet. Too bad my therapist can't do much more than make small talk.

>>36632193
what are you seeing him for? not a rhetorical question. i'd say ditch the therapist, as long as they arent giving you prescriptions. i'd rehearse conversations with mine and it'd make me paranoid, especially with how i'd avoid mentioning anything harmful. it was generally a waste of time. for me, a lecture from yogi sadhguru every once in a while fills just about the same void. search that shit on youtube if youre into it

>>36632317
I should, but the sessions are free and he and my mother would be upset if I requested to stop. Honestly feel like it's a huge waste of time though since I can't adequately gather my thoughts when in a social setting.
>yogi sadhguru
Do you meditate?

>>36631592
I remember the sensation.

Then I stopped trying to make myself outgoing and social and I've never been happier.

File: 1493004077772.jpg (78KB, 447x456px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 447x456px

I remember trying really hard to be outgoing and to make friends one year. When that didn't work I began to feel the way you do now anon. Is this what people call being heart broken? I'm truly a robot.

I can relate. It's not bad though, I am happy. I can also fake emotions really well which is helpful, but only when I'm energized. Otherwise I just put out static.

>>36632387
what he thinks doesnt matter. he's really got no legal power over you unless you live somewhere that he can Baker Act you based on things you've divulged to him. i left and got one call about a follow up. ignored it. just tell your mom you started reading and would rather figure it out by yourself

>Do you meditate?
not in the conventional sense. i'll sit down to think about shit. no sensory input. no eating, no watching, no listening. it lets me figure everything out in "my book." i'll trip on dxm probably 2 times a year to just reset.

>>36632550
its more like anhedonia. why does this happen to so many of us?

>>36632692
He's not a bad guy, I just don't want to be mean to an old man who offered free counseling to help me out. It's once every two weeks, so it's not that bad.

Can you tell me how your thinking works? Every time I try to do that, I hit a mental wall, like I'm not sure where to go next.
>dxm
How have the drugs impacted your state? I've heard psychedelics can change it completely
>anhedonia
That's it exactly. Out of curiosity, do you have any other symptoms of Depression?

>>36631592
I try to convince myself that I won't but I freeze every time.

>>36631592
Meh, after my first college ex got with my friend after we broke up, I kinda sealed away my feelings. Like you said, my emotions are delayed. I dont smile at teh right time anymore, I dont cry or laugh at the right time anymore. I'm essentially a bad movie copy where the audio becomes unsynced.

>>36632798
>gf
Kill yourself, normalfag, and get the fuck out of a robot board.

>>36631592
Ex was just like this. It's not just you. But it's the reason he's the ex

>>36632851
Stop baiting, homo.

>>36632860
I'm not, I'm telling the truth.

I think he also miiight have been a sociopath, though. Unless you have a childhood history of setting fires and killing animals, what you have just sounds like depression.

>>36632840
fuck off faggot and make me, i go where i please.

>>36632929
You're baiting by posting such normalfag content in a board for robots. Fuck off to soc if you've had a bf.

>>36631592
I feel the same way after being red pilled on females. Women can't love men and they only see men as disposable tools they can use. I am just waiting on a robot waifu that can actually love you and not cheat on you like a real women would.

>>36632957
I'm gonna go with what this >>36632947 anon said, he has the right idea.

>>36632981
>don't bait
>I'm not baiting
>get explained why
>f-fuck off
What exactly do you expect when you post in boards you don't belong to?

>>36632745
>Can you tell me how your thinking works? Every time I try to do that, I hit a mental wall, like I'm not sure where to go next.
when i hit a mental wall, that's my cue to just stop and try again another time. business as usual up until i find my self with enough noteworthy thoughts to stop and reflect on them. (thinking about consciousness, optimized day to day routines, thinking about the outdoors, what makes me enjoy one place more than another, things im grateful for). take the time to un-hate yourself

after a dozen tiny sessions, you'll eventually come to a big one.

>How have the drugs impacted your state? I've heard psychedelics can change it completely
they havent impacted my life at all, but ive only smoked weed and done dxm. i've avoided mdma because i'd hate to deal with the depression/crash. as for dxm, its just like having a more intense dream. at around 450-500mg, you'll likely have an out of body experience. interpret it as you'd like.

>That's it exactly. Out of curiosity, do you have any other symptoms of Depression?
all of this, from the anhedonia page: "Results indicate that emptiness [...] is closely related to feeling hopeless, pathologically lonely, and isolated, and is a robust predictor of depression and suicidal ideation"

which makes sense, b/c i've been hopeless, lonely, and isolated for the past 6 or 7 years. as a result i was diagnosed with major depressive after a having breakdown and walking my own self in front of a doctor. i was living with my mom at the time. read that verbatim. even though i wasn't literally isolated, or 100% lonely, it was my own dumb self's fault for behaving that way. so long as you aren't deformed, i think you can have a walk in the woods, explore your city; absorb content that you legitimately like, eventually you will get a morsel of pleasure from it. just not online, it's too easy.

look at these people fighting

>>36632976
>I am just waiting on a robot waifu that can actually love you and not cheat on you like a real women would.
get a girl a bit younger than you (likely to be a bit roasted) and robot pill her. she will be relieved to have so much less drama in her life. and if she isn't, dump the bitch and dont look back, because now it's evident she loves drama. worked for me :^)

>>36631819
>Women need attention, they really do start to go mad if they don't have any

that is because back in the day women would die without men paying attention to her. Now women don't have to worry as much because they can fall back on welfare and extract resources from men with the welfare state. also the government gives them affirmative action and gender quotas because of how inferior they are to men. Women can't compete against men unless you handicap them first to the level of women.

>>36633162
nah too hopeless romantic for that I want real true love but apparently women are not design that way if you look at history. French women betray their husbands and slept with nazi conquerors.