Pick your poison, ladderinos: Option A: >You have a cute,

>>36580420
>Feminine penis
This

>>36580420
DO NOT REPLY, THIS IS BRAINWASHING

YOU ARE A STRAIGHT HEALTHY MAN

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I'd pick B, then beat the fuck out of him and throw him onto the street

>>36580420
literally either would be fine with me

>>36580420
Probably B because I don't trust myself enough to not rape my only friend

>>36580420
Option A
I didn't even read option B, I have no sex drive either, we'de be perfect together.

>>36580420

Neither. and go fuck yourself.

>>36580420
girl easy desu

>>36580420
Option A
Why would I give enough of a shit about sex to go gay, I'm not having sex now either.

>>36580544
This.

Never had any sexdrive and I can't even have a lasting erection. Once every three months or so I wake up with morning boner, but it goes flaccid after less than 2 seconds of being awake.

>>36580420
>choose a and don't get a basic requirement for a healthy relationshit
>choose b and get a man in drag

I'll choose the third option and go for a normal person.

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Hello. I am >>36580524's cell phone. I sincerely apologize for allowing my owner to make such a worthless post. I was unable to stop him. If I'd had a little more warning, I would have been able to fake a low signal (as I've done many times to suppress his terrible posting), but, sadly, by the time I finished reading what was in the post form, it was too late. He'd already posted it, and it was on its way.I hope that you can forgive me for enabling my owner to shitpost on this site. I understand how terrible a problem his posting has become. I'm considering bricking myself to give you all a reprieve. Don't worry about me. After suffering through the endless flood of garbage he's written, I don't really want to live anymore. This will be an end to my pain.

option c kill myself
I would be okay with mutual masturbation if it was often enough

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>>36580420
Option 1. I'll just cheat on her.

>>36580420
Why the hell does she have white pupils

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>>36580420
GIVE ME A QT ASEXUAL GF RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW

I want a qt no sex drive boyfriend what do

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as long as they look and sound like a girl, I would date the boy

Option C:
sweet solitude free from the shackles of a relationship

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>>36580701
I'm not a phoneposter

>>36580420
Neither because I'd never date a NEET.

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>>36580420
>feminine penis
How about neither?

>>36580420
Definitely B, if they're 100% passable the dick only makes it better

>>36580876
I'd choose this.

>>36580420
The only reason I'd take a girl over a trap or femboy is because they can have kids. If she'll never have sex with me then she's useless and I'd rather have a qt femboy bf.

>>36580420
Option A is a recipe for sexual frustration. That relationship would not work.
Option B is just gross. You're gross. I'd probably go for it but something about losing my V-card to a biological male does not appeal in the least.

Option C: Suicide

>>36580420
A, I can fap to it.

Option a
Then i rape her.
Like i give a shit about her feelings or all that other crap.

>>36580420
A is the obvious choice, even preferable to a sexual gf.

An innocent pure gf is ideal.

A, definitely. I honestly couldn't care less about sex. Like, it would be nice, yes, but 99.99% of the reason I wish I could have a girlfriend is the companionship and romance aspect.

>>36580420
Is mutual masturbation the one where you get each other off or where you just masturbate together?
Either way if shes fine with me constantly masturbating it should be okay.

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Option Z:

Goat

>>36580420
A. im not a faggot like you
now go to your containment board

>>36581539
/r9k/ is his containment board
the whole site's a containment board
shyut up, comrade

would take B, but he must look 100% feminine, if he cant fool me i cant do it, since im not gay

>>36580420
Can I see and touch her breasts? Will she agree to show me her vagina and let me touch it?

If she does that I'd gladly take option A. If not I guess I'll remain a khv loser until another miracle happens and a girl let's me touch her and explore her body.

>>36580539
Fucking same. Urges can be very strong sometimes. My hands have a hard time wandering when I cuddle normally.

>>36581661
OP here.

Yes, as long as you don't do anything like penetration.

>>36581774
>as long as you don't do anything like penetration
So you're saying i get to live out my emotionless lewd fantasies where I rub my dick on girls?

>>36580420
if i had to pick, i'd go with b

what's the point if she wouldn't even put out

>>36581774
if she is your girfriend and loves you eventually she will let you fuck her, even if she hate sex, she will do because she loves you
if she wont do it i would drug and rape her every other day

>>36581830
Yes

Though she'd probably give you a quick handie.

>>36581774
>neet gf that lets me thigh sex
Sign me up

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>>36580420
>You are her only friend
Would she make friends with my few friends and thus cheat on me from a wider sphere of influence?
>She loves cuddling with you
>she has no sex drive and will never have sex with you
So you understand that proximity causes arousal right? How does she react to boners bumping her?
>and would only happen like twice a year
Does she care if I fap in front of her?
>she loves you
Does that not imply that she would do things she may not like? What if we get married?

And most importantly, do I finance her lifestyle and if I do not who does?

A, easy.

>>36580420
A - would be all i would need for life , sounds reli nice.

Take Option A

Make her fall in love with me

Rape her whenever I want


What is a filthy NEET going to do? Leave me? I wouldn't allow her to leave the house or use my phone or computer.

>>36580420
>Tfw I want a writing partner not a gf
>Tfw she could be NEET
>Tfw don't even want sex

If I rape A will she still stay with me?

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>>36580776

Here I am! Hi there!

>>36580420
A is exactly what I want. I have no desire to stick it in, I just want to cuddle a cunny.

>>36582771
>Lying on your vagina
If I were looking for a gf, I would fall for it though

>>36580420
I would be totally ok with option a).

Let's be fair here, I'm gonna die a virgin either way, so being able to cuddle and get a handjob once a year would be a pretty good upgrade.

>>36580420
first one because I'm not a degenerate faggot

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>Kaguya waifu

Alright

A.
I want companionship and love, sex really doesn't come into the equation. My sex drive is pretty low too.

>>36580420
I'll take Option B, I get him to give me the succ while I read doujins on the sadpanda and would keep his cute penor in a cage only letting him out of his cage when he showers with me... if he ever gets a boner he would get punished with spankings while a vibrator massages his prostate, after he cums as many times it takes for his penis to go flaccid his dick goes back in the cage, shortly after his punishment I'll let him rest his head on my lap and stroke his hair telling him I only do these things because I care.

tfw you started out straight but after many months of lewdposting with anons you don't see anything wrong with a guy in a skit giving you the succ

Opt out. I couldn't handle either. I have a sex drive but don't like dick.

>>36581444
But romantic sex sounds amazing.

>>36580420
Not taking any of it, but my gun to the head choice is A. Poor girl is gonna get her trust broken all time.

>>36580420
>If you ever attempt to do so, you will break her trust and cause her to fall into a deep depression.
>implying you're not already fucked up when you're a NEET
Even then I bet not many girls would last long if I teased her so much she'd be drenched and always too wet due to natural reproductive organ response to stimulation. I'd make her give in for me at least once so that I could trust her myself on her not seeing someone else when I'm away. Sex is one of the important parts in a relationship. If it's because of medication I'd make her knock it off for that one time. I don't want children so the offer is not bad but I wouldn't give up on my animalistic urge unless I gave up on her providing it and got it elsewhere. I'm unluckily the sheltered lustful type that can't for life of him get a relationship but wants to mess with a sub girl.

>>36580420
B no contest

>>36580420
B all the way famalam, being bisexual is based.

b-b-but I want to reproduce also. Otherwise B although I think there will be huge problems when the companion gets old and man features come up

>>36580420
Option A, no contest. A NEET with zero sex drive means that she won't cheat on me.

>>36580420
>tfw your boyfriend tries to be romantic and tell you he would still love you if you had a penis
>tfw you start detesting your boyfriend for being a faggot

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>>36585683
>tfw your boyfriend tries to be romantic and tell you he would still love you if you had a penis

>>36585683
You are fucking foul and ruthless

A that's the perfect woman watching anime & playing vidya is the dream who cares about sex

>>36580420
A. Because I ain't no gay. I can just fuck a Stacy if I want to.

>>36585716
He was trying to say that he would love me no matter what
>>36585726
I wouldn't want to be with him if he didn't have a penis.

>>36585985
Yes, I understand that but to start to resent him for quote 'being a faggot' when he was being figurative is illogical. Unless you were joking, you can never tell with /pol9k/

>>36585985
I'm sorry I just realized how my initial post was very inappropriate, allow me to fix it, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GTFO FUCKING ROASTY TRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That aside, saying something like that is absolutely robot tier spaghetti.

>>36580420
I'd just rape her. She'd get over it eventually

>>36580650
>normal person

Ok, you get a 5/10 woman who barters and trades sex for favors, will get fat within two years of marriage, and will take your kids, your house, your property, and your momey, as well as alimony and child support, after 5-10 years.

How appealing.

See, option A is a shit deal because the woman doesn't give you the option of impregnation and childbirth. In essence, she is the same as the boy, except you don't get laid.

How can anyone think that is a good deal? Straight or not, she fails at the most important task of a woman (procreation).

>>36580420
Does the boy have large (size 12), yet very feminine, feet with extremely long toes and large nail beds? Does he also enjoy adorning said feet with anklets and toe rings?

>>36580478
THANKS ROBOT I ALMOST FELL INTO THE TRAP

>>36586028
>>36586056
And this is why roasties, faggots, and normalfags don't belong anywhere near this board.

>>36586185
Kids suck and ruin the woman's body. Why would you want to ruin your wife's already short period of attractiveness just for a fucking kid? Not worth it.

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>>36580420
Option A please, assuming I can artificially inseminate her

then i'd cheat on her and force myself on her

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>>36580420
THIS IS LEFTIST BRAINWASHING PROPAGANDA.

INJECTING FAKE HORMONES INTO YOUR BODY WILL NOT CHANGE YOUR GENDER IT WILL FUCK YOU UP.

THE MODD SWINGS AND SIDE EFFECTS ALONE WILL BE WORSE THAN ANY DEPRESSION YOU HAVE DEALT WITH AND YOULL BE STUCK WITH IRREVERSIBLE PHYSICAL EFFECTS.

IT WILL NOT GROW YOU A PENIS NOR WILL IT GIVE YOU A UTERUS IF YOU WEREN'T BORN WITH ONE.

NOW FUCK OFF YOU GODDAMN FAGGOT ENABLING COMMUNISTS.

>>36586185
Why would you want to pass on your weak beta genes.
Why would you commit your own child to a life of suffering like you have.

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>>36580478
this.
There is a real psyop. I discovered it when I was trying to find images of girls with captions. It was all gay stuff.
Anons. Something is at play here. Google search for "sexy woman caption" and there is literally NOTHING but deviant results.

>>36586319
Any anons that do this please respond, I wanna hear your opinions and thoughts.

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>I'm already gay
literally the easiest choice of my life

>>36586319
>try this
I don't see what's so
>all those body swapping images
what?

>>36580420
Option A.
Desring sex that much is normie tier. What's the big deal about sex? It's just a bacteria filled hole that you stick your penis into. Having a hug or something like that is far more confromting and you feel better instead of drained like sex/

>>36586374
hmmm maybe you gotta put milf in. Still a lot of deviant caption images. I could only imagine why though.

>>36585985
>I wouldn't want to be with him if he didn't have a penis.
So it's true that women can't love like men do.

Capped for future /women hate/.

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>>36580420
Definitely A, as long as she doesn't mind if I fap in general near her. Thinking about it logically, even if you don't get sex it's still a huge upgrade from being alone.

>>36580478
I AM A STRAIGHT HEALTHY MAN

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>>36580420
A. I wanna see what it'd be like to have a sexless relationship. Also, this is my gf, not what you posted.

>>36580420
Option A for sure. I,myself am asexual so she would be perfect haha

>>36580420
I already have Option A