Ask me absolutely anything and I will answer it as truthfully

File: sad kitten.jpg (16KB, 400x300px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 400x300px

Anybody? I'll answer anything.

I have literally 0 game.

I've gotten laid a total of 5 times in my life all with different women because even after having sex they quit talking to me despite me trying my hardest to be cool because I knew sex doesn't come easy to guys like me so I'd welcome sex with the same girl, fuck I'd be willing to have a serious relationship with any of them.

I have a job, a car, live alone, I'm above average looking (I know everyone says that but I have actual testimonies from people who would not benefit from lying to me and in some ocassions even been told I'm attractive as an insult to point out just how much of a beta I am).

Lately my approach has been to be more carefull with my words and speak calmy to prevent myself from going all spagetti but I'm starting to think that maybe I should just embrace the spagetti and let it all out until I have nothing to spagetti about.

Whatever, how do I get game?

>>36564994
WOuld you rather suck dick or take a dick up your ass?

How do I impress my trombone teacher? Is it creepy if i seem obsessed with the trombone and practice 3 hours a day? i have a crush on him, hes 50 yo.

>>36565072
I am just like you. It helps to pretend you're alone when you're around people. Pretend nobody's watching or judging you. This allows for much smoother interaction with people in general.
But this is much easier said than done, I suppose. I don't know; I'm sorry.

>>36565073
Why not both?
If I HAD to choose, though, I'd take the dick up the ass. This way we both get our O's and both parties are happy.

>>36564994
What do you believe constitutes a "robot"? Are you a robot?

>>36564994
What's your favorite
>Movie
>Food
> Drink
>Song

>>36565072
What do you mean act cool? What was the situation in which you had the sex?
It's not as easy as people say to get a relationship, there are a lot of small eules and in general it's a lot of effort.

>>36564994
What is your name, address and DOB?

>>36565088
>How do I impress my trombone teacher?
By being good at trombone, of course! Also, teachers love it when you behave, pay attention and ask unique questions. It shows that you care about what they're trying to teach you.
>Is it creepy if i seem obsessed with the trombone and practice 3 hours a day?
No. That's called passion. It's creepy if you only play trombone because of your teacher. But if you just like trombone, that's cool.

>>36565105
Richard Pryor
1627 Spaldings Rd, Richmond, VA
05/18/1991

>>36564994
Do you remember the event in your life that you think left the biggest impact on who you are today?

>>36565117
thank you smilingemoticon.jpg

>>36565095
A robot is someone who is
- antisocial or asocial
- socially awkward
- is not pleasant to be around
- harboring more mental/emotional issues than their peers
- not attractive
- has very little redeeming qualities.
- has strange habits
I'm definitely a robot.

>>36565098
>Movie
Her. I love that movie so much.
>Food
I'll just go with classic pizza. With pepperoni and sausage. Can't go wrong. Baked macaroni and cheese is also really good. I really like lasagna.
> Drink
Water. I know; I'm vanilla.
>Song
There are too many for me to pick. I think my favorite song is She Loves Us by Swans, though.

>>36565105
My first name is Owen. I live somewhere in Phoenix, Arizona, US. I was born May 5th, 1998. I'm not comfortable telling you my exact address, though.

>>36564994
Why did you and mom name me "Morning?" I mean, I guess it's a pretty name, but our last name is Wood. And the kids at school keep making fun of me. :(

>>36565143
Yes, I do.

>>36565157
You're very welcome!

>>36565088
practice until you have big sound and range, bone players like when you can get loud (when needed) while keeping the tone quality
3 hours a day would be too much for me but if you can do it and that's what it takes to be good, go for it
don't wear yourself out by the time you see him though
maybe get a little tuner and learn to tune yourself

don't drop your mouthpiece ever

>>36565094
Ayyy my man, thanks for the answer. Now onto the real question, I constantly have existential dread and realising that living has no purpose, what's the best way to stop that or to dial it down a bit. Thanks

>>36565168
I have never named anyone. I think you might be mistaking me for someone else...
"Morning," that's a really pretty name, though. Your last name is somewhat unfortunate, but I know a guy named Tennis so it's not really that bad.

>>36565162
Hey OWEN you were born 5 days before me but dont think that makes you better than me OKAY OWEN?

>>36565104
All of these happened several years ago so I don't remember all the details nor the actual conversations but it goes kind of like this:

Case of study 1: After sex cuddle for a couple minutes afterwards I drive her to her house, next day text her (like I usually did) but she never answered, tried to text her again a week later and the a month after that, afterwards I just gave up.

Case of study 1: After sex we just fall asleep, in the morning she tells me she's going back our hometown (we met in college but we were from the same town 1 hour away, not a rare thing since a lot of people from that town attend that uni), I explain that I already had plans and I wasn't planning on going home that weekend but that I'd love to meet again when she comes back. Never spoke to me again.

Now, on the second case I do understand that maybe I made her feel bad for rejecting her like that but still I feel like too much of a douche move to cancel plans when you know people are actually expecting you (I didn't told her what my plans were for but we were gonna lan-party as a 5 man stack in dota).

>>36565162
Owen would make my list of too names I would rather die than have

>>36565162
not really answering ABSOLUTELY anything truthfully then are we now, YOU BIG FAT PHONEY

>>36565183
>I constantly have existential dread and realising that living has no purpose, what's the best way to stop that or to dial it down a bit
Distract yourself with a hobby. That's what I do. Although sometimes existential dread is unavoidable and sends me into a spiraling panic attack, it's best to maybe go ride a bike or play a musical instrument. Read a book, watch a movie, listen to music, make something, et cetera.
Your own mind can be a terrifying thing when left to its own devices and quite frankly, I personally think avoiding psychological problems like overwhelming nihilism is the best way to combat them.
However, if you'd like, you could rent a shitload of books on philosophy and go full /lit/. I recommend Emil Cioran but he's too depressing for some.

>>36565189
Welp, seems like everyone knows my name now. Might as well stop hiding it.
And I never thought I was better than you! I don't think I'm better than anyone.

>>36565197
I have never had any strong opinions on my name one way or the other.

>>36565205
I was being as truthful as I could. I'm assuming you're the one who asked me about my personal information?
The truth is; I don't feel comfortable telling you EVERYTHING. But I do feel comfortable revealing part of who I am, if that makes you feel any better.

>>36565176
thanks. do you have any recommendations for breathing exercises? im starting after summer. ive played violin and piano for 7 years and we actually play at the local symphony orchestra together

>>36564994
why is it that women just refuse to have a conversation with me? I've observed others enough to know that i'm not doing anything weird, not saying anything weird. I'm not ugly either, i'm average.
but every fucking time dude, anyone else should join us she immediately talks with him/her instead, casually.
should I say anything, i just get a silent nod as response and she's not even looking at me
i'm off of this fucking ride dude

>>36565224
>ive played violin and piano for 7 years and we actually play at the local symphony orchestra together
I envy you. I wish I had that level of skill at anything. I wish I were classically trained. I play guitar and piano, but I'm self-taught and sound like utter shit.
[sigh]

>>36565238
>why is it that women just refuse to have a conversation with me?
I don't know. Maybe you don't know what to say that will interest them? Have you tried talking about them rather than yourself? Have you tried telling a joke? I'm not good with these types of things, so...I don't know.

>>36565222
Thats bullshit Owen and you know it, you COULD give your details, you just won't hence you are lying about being absolutely truthful, YOU BIG FAT PHONEY. HEY EVERYONE GET A LOOK AT THE BIG FAT PHONEY

>>36564994
How was your first kiss like ?

>>36565222
Hey thanks for the answer. I'll attempt to do what you said

>>36565272
>you COULD give your details, you just won't hence you are lying about being absolutely truthful
I said "truthfully," not "openly."
I'm not going to give you my last name or exact address. That is the truth.

You can ask me anything else, though, and I will answer it as truthfully as I can.

>>36565292
My first kiss was actually horrifying. I was raped by my uncle when I was 7 and he kept kissing my mouth and neck. I hated it.
He killed himself in prison.

My first voluntary kiss wasn't too great, either. I didn't know what to do and it brought back some unpleasant memories, so I started crying and we had to stop. It was really awkward.

>>36565305
Sure, no problemo! I hope everything goes well for you.

>>36565306
>I said "truthfully," not "openly."

You got me there Owen, I withdraw my claims of phoneiness immediately. Have a pleasant day.

>>36565330
Thank you for withdrawing your claims. Have a pleasant day as well.

Isn't it wonderful when everything works out?
How lovely.

I like this thread. You guys are my best friends.

>>36565324
could you post a picture of your uncle or describe his appearance? im really into older daddies and that sounds so sexy to me. how old was he when he raped you?

>>36565224
been a while since I've thought about that sort of thing
in 4, hold 7, out 8 is one I remember for relaxation for some reason, but if you can have rapid, steady air for all 8 of those counts I can't see why that wouldn't be a good exercise
I don't what degree of familiarity you have with the instrument, but I might as well also mention that the slide isn't exactly held on by anything most of the time, so don't ever ever drop that either

Do you like living in the desert? I lived in Reno during the summer for 3 months and it was very cozy

>>36565374
>could you post a picture of your uncle or describe his appearance?
He was not an attractive man. He was about 34 when it first happened. He was a slightly overweight, balding pale man.
>im really into older daddies and that sounds so sexy to me.
Anon...I have to say. That makes me really uncomfortable.

>>36565396
>Do you like living in the desert?
It's very hot and dusty. They say the heat isn't so bad because "it's a dry heat," but that's a lie. It's misery.
But overall, it's fine. It's pretty nice. It's really hard to find a good apartment for a reasonable price, but when you do, it's actually pretty cozy.
I give Phoenix a 6/10.

File: image.jpg (74KB, 364x481px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 364x481px

should I give up?

https://clyp.it/dj5f4f1d

>>36565421
I live on a close latitude as you, also in a hot desert hole
but let me tell you, having traveled around, Phoenix heat is indeed a special kind of misery
I don't know what it is about that place but damn

>>36565427
Well, though I don't necessarily care for the song itself, it's very competent and something with this kind of structure could definitely earn you some success if you try hard enough. It's quite nice; just not something I'd listen to.
Keep trying, though. I would only tell you to give up if you were really irredeemably terrible, which isn't the case.

>>36565450
I think it's due to the lack of humidity. I used to live in Philadelphia and the springs and summers there are very hot but bearable because of the humidity. It's like when you get out of the shower and the entire bathroom is really muggy and the air is wet and heavy, but everywhere.
With Phoenix, the sun just beats directly on your skin. There's no wind or moisture. It literally feels like you're frying to death. Not a fun type of heat.

Although Philadelphia is kind of a bipolar city, climate-wise. Winters are blizzards and summers reach 100+ temperatures.

>>36565488
I really dislike hot humidity, much prefer the dry
You could be right about the wind though, there are at least nice currents here sometimes

>>36565511
I think I only like the humidity because I grew up in it.
It's a special kind of hell if you don't have air-conditioning because your house traps and magnifies it, though.

Are there any other questions?

I'd be happy to indulge.

>>36565616
What's in your pockets rn ?

>>36565646
Absolutely nothing.
I am not wearing pants right now.

>>36565616
What is the meaning of life?
What does it mean to be a good person?

>>36565725
>What is the meaning of life?
I don't really think there is one. This isn't good or bad.
>What does it mean to be a good person?
To be a "good" person is to closely fit the standards the society in which you live consider for 'goodness,' I guess.
You're a good person if others think you're a good person.

if i go out with a girl a couple of times, we have a blast, make out of both times


but then find out she's kinda seeing another guy

what do i do

>>36565826
Do not go out with her again. She's cheating on someone else, it's likely she'll cheat on you, too.
Also, it's kind of scummy to continue dating someone with the knowledge that that person is already dating someone else.

Save yourself the anxiety and eventual pain of getting caught and break it off now.

>>36565897

yeah ur rite. i don't even live in the same country as her lol.

can an intelligent man follow the herd defined conventions, identities and purposes that permeate society with sincerity

>>36565975
Yeah, it would just be unnecessarily messy.

>>36566041
Yes.
I feel like this question is actually kind of simple at its core but wrapped in big words for intimidation.

You essentially asked, "Can smart people also be normies?"
Yes. Yes they can.

>>36566078
She comes back in december for good, though. I'll see what happens then.

Also, senpai, you were born in 98? Daaaaamnnn... I'm like 5 years older than you are.

>>36566157
>I'll see what happens then.
Nope! NOPE. no. No. Cut her off.
Once a cheater, blah blah blah

what would it take for you to be my bf

>>36566322
Very little. We'd have to live in the same area and you would have to not be a serial murderer.

a.) Are you close?
b.) Are you a serial murderer?

>>36566345
what if i just murdered once and deeply regret it?
i live in germany

Why is he so secretive about his email and texts?

>>36566370
>what if i just murdered once and deeply regret it?
Hmm...could you elaborate? Was it in self defense? Or did you just feel like it?
Because that makes a difference.
>i live in germany
Oh.. I am nowhere near Germany. :(

>>36566379
"he" as in me? Or "he" as in some other, unspecified 'he'?

>>36566424
i was just messing with you and your poor choice of words
i guess it doesn't matter since we're far apart
have a nice day, owen

>>36564994
Do you like anime? If so, what are some of your favorites?

>>36566569
Have a nice day, Germanon.`

>>36564994
I want to go drinking at a pub because i can only function on a social level while drunk. But my one friend bailed on me. I know a bunch of other people I know are at the pub but should I go drinking or stay in and play vidya?

>>36566668
Stay in and play vidya. Can't embarrass yourself that way.

>>36565197
Wouldn't you rather die than have your own name, though?

My oneitis is 7 years older than me and wants to introduce me to one of her friend that has my age and is looking for a boyfriend do i have a chance with my oneitis?

>>36566757
Your oneitis could be deflecting you to someone else for one of four reasons:
1.) She knows how you feel about her and isn't interested. She thinks occupying your mind with someone else will help.
2.) She feels the same way about you as you do her and has no idea how you feel, and is trying to distract herself from you by ensuring that you're taken by someone else.
3.) She sees you as a friend and doesn't know you love her. She is simply trying to set you up with someone else as a friend.
4.) She's doing it as more of a favor for her friend than you.
Maybe tell her how you feel? I don't know. This is a complex situation indeed.