>be in library >see computing student leave his computer

File: burgess.png (124KB, 496x368px) Image search: [Google]

124KB, 496x368px

deliciously devilish

well played, anon

>>36544519
lol wat the fuck dude

File: 857.jpg (30KB, 563x542px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 563x542px

>>36544519
>go into uni bathrooms
>hear somone pooping
>switch lights off as i leave

File: 0e9.jpg (27KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 600x600px

>>36544519
>go to subway
>ask for olives on my sandwich
>i hate olives

stupid fucking normies

>>36544519
>hmmm why is the first integer in my array not displaying
>silly me i started my array at index one (^:

File: 1465272971185.png (7KB, 420x420px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 420x420px

>>36544519
>go to university flat party
>turn up when everyone is pissed
>unplug the freezer and fridge

File: 1490274445648.png (125KB, 400x388px) Image search: [Google]

125KB, 400x388px

>>36544519
>walking towards door
>guy reaches door before me
>he holds the door open for me
>I walk through
>don't say "thank you"
Btfo normies

File: 1463070235151.jpg (97KB, 792x558px) Image search: [Google]

97KB, 792x558px

>>36545326
I don't understand why I find this so hilarious

There's literally nothing humorous here

>>36544519
>go to /pol/
>tell them Jews are genuinely good people
>over 40 replies

>>36545204
This is such a pure savage move honestly.

>>36544519
>walk up to Stacy
>ask her what's wrong with her hair
>stares at her Snapchat for 20 minutes checking her hair

File: 12882137747.jpg (16KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 225x225px

>>36544519
>driving on freeway in fast lane
>maintain speed with the car next to me for 30 minutes
enjoy, normies

File: 1425766675138.png (686KB, 1492x1116px) Image search: [Google]

686KB, 1492x1116px

>cross street to buy tendies
>purposefully don't look both ways
>get hit by car
>how're those insurance rates faggot, have fun being late for work

normies absolutely obliterated

>>36544519
>neighbors dog starts barking again
>throw some chocolate into their yard
Looks like it shouldn't be a problem

>>36545707
kek

fdgfgddf

File: 12334122.jpg (17KB, 260x263px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 260x263px

>crossing at intersection
>light goes green
>bend over and tie my shoe
keep revving, normie

File: Photo Feb 02, 3 38 40 PM.jpg (17KB, 250x226px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 250x226px

>>36544519
>wake up early
>its about the time wagies set their alarms
>make a thread telling the wagies about my plans for the day while they have to work
How will they recover

>order pizza
>with gluten free crust
>and seitan (wheat meat) topping

File: tumblr_inline_nozj7v3tVl1tsjcoy_500.jpg (73KB, 500x466px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 500x466px

> go to the art gallery
> Stay there for 6 hours
> Spend $10 million on paintings and sculptures

Mfw I don't even like art

File: IMG_0553.jpg (88KB, 653x590px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 653x590px

>>36544519
>at subway
>order sandwich
>they ask if I want it toasted
>say yeah
>they take it out
>I tell them on second thought I don't want it toasted
>she gets a new piece of bread

>>36545857
barron pls

>>36545204
When I was younger, I'd throw wads of wet paper towel into the pooper stalls, after witnessing my peers do it. Public poopers are scum.

They use only dry paper on their unshaved butts, and wear lose boxes under their shorts, so they drop shit flakes everywhere they go.

File: 1445268407065.jpg (11KB, 396x482px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 396x482px

>pretend to be a NEET on a mongolian goat herding forum
> I have a good job with a decent salary and a good schedule.

>>36545461
>someone holds door when I'm a little too far away
>turn 90 degrees and go somewhere else for a bit so they feel silly and learn not to try that shit again

File: 1307585997846.jpg (152KB, 641x534px) Image search: [Google]

152KB, 641x534px

>be driving
>go exactly the speed limit

mfw this triggers normies like nothing else because they don't want to be late to their job working for mr shekelstein

>>36545755
It actually takes a very large dose of chocolate to kill a dog.

>>36546122
It was a king size Hershey's bar is that enough? Or do I need to give it more?

File: 1473786872175.jpg (23KB, 349x356px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 349x356px

>assigned group lab project
>do it all myself and leave my partners names off of it
enjoy repeating your lab next semester, normals

File: 1492881141052.jpg (36KB, 448x664px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 448x664px

>>36546137
>he wasted a king size hershey bar just to poison a dog

>>36546137
keep feeding it more

>>36546092
>match speed with vehicle in front of me
>but with a long gap
Gets the irritable shits in front of me so I don't get rear ended.

>>36546179
That wouldn't be a waste. Hershey's is garbage.

>>36546211
>not having a smug pepe bumpersticker for the tailgaters to stare at while you go slow

>>36546235
Yeah why does Hershey's taste so bad? It only mildly even tastes like chocolate

>>36546187
I'm buying 4 more is that good?

File: 1478796458244.jpg (15KB, 320x320px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 320x320px

>using uni washroom
>sign near mirror reminding to wash hands
>take dump on the ground near the door and walk out

>>36546249

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butyric_acid

Also low quality African beans, roasted dark for consistency and appeal to nostalgia.

File: 1485900962913s.jpg (7KB, 250x211px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 250x211px

>sit in the middle of the table normies always sit at
>hide all the unused tables
>they have to leave with nowhere to sit


get fucked chad

File: 1490662926283.jpg (14KB, 247x223px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 247x223px

>riding my motorcycle
>swerve into car driving towards me
>sue the driver and scar him for disfiguring me

File: 1491753198618.png (710KB, 513x578px) Image search: [Google]

710KB, 513x578px

>>36544519
>uni
>in a computer lab
>i sit at desks with two computers
>i'm in the back row
>guy beside me is an annoying chad
>constantly leaves his chair to go talk to his friends in the front of the classroom
>he leaves his computer on
>open chrome
>change his profile picture to Kirito from SAO
>subscribe to multiple anime youtubers and multiple minecraft youtubers
>change his google background to anime
>add a lot of anime music tracks and minecraft let's plays to watch later
>comment on minecraft videos and anime tracks saying how much he loves them and how much it helps him with his "duhpreshun"
>close chrome
>he logs off at the end of class
>next day
>he opens chrome
>he is obviously confused
>threatens his friends because he thinks one of them did it on his laptop
>11 notifications on google plus
>mfw

>>36546278
Probably more to be safe, bakers chocolate is best. Darker the better. 1oz per 20lbs of dark baking chocolate should be toxic. Obviously you want to feed it even more than that.

>>36544519
>Messing with students of one of the most robot majors
Shame on you, Anon

>>36546418
>CS
>robot major
pls

File: 1492261848922.png (29KB, 403x480px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 403x480px

>15 at the time
>Computer room
>group project
>I do all the work
>"anon email it to us"
>write something in notepad to delete sys 32.
>email it
>4 pcs bricked
>they failed the class


Fucking destroyed normie cunts

>>36546523
Holy shit, this one got a good chuckle out of me. Well done.

>>36546523
Nice work anon, I giggled at that one

>>36546584
Glad to have originally been of original service.

File: 1491708059553.png (587KB, 604x675px) Image search: [Google]

587KB, 604x675px

>be sam hyde
>fall for the alt-right meme
>"career" falls apart and future prospects disappear
>end up back working at a car dealership
>mfw

>>36546664
Glad to have made you originally smile, anon

File: 20.jpg (44KB, 460x307px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 460x307px

>>36545461
fucking hell i hate it when people hold doors open for me

>>36546394
kek, pretty good
qwedcefgtrbgfnb

File: 1480813649165.png (97KB, 362x492px) Image search: [Google]

97KB, 362x492px

>>36546706
I've been thinking that Sam Hyde is pulling the long con on the alt-right. Think about it, he's been cozying up to them the hardest of all the groups he's cozied up to and inevitably trolled or backstabbed. Think about it, you never know what that guy's going to do or when he's going to do it.