>be me 40 minutes ago >browsing plebbit (I only browse

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>be me 40 minutes ago
>browsing plebbit (I only browse plebbit once a month at most)
>ate chinese for dinner
>my stomach was bothering me all day
>all of a sudden get a sudden urge to poop
>shut my iPad off and speed off to the bathroom
>it feels like a muddy boulder is up my ass
>get to the toilet
>bend over to pick the lid up
>nottoday.jpg
>feel a warm mushy sensation in my pants
>I just shit my pants
>take them off and get shit drops all over the tiles and toilet
>my ass is covered in shit
>begin pondering existence
>there's no tp
>begin to panic
>see a box of tissues next to me and use them
>clean up ass and release the fury of 1000 gods
>flush toilet for the second time and wash my hands
>it smells horrible in the room
>turn on the fan
>clean the poopoo droplets with tissues, water, a towle, and regret
>clean semi shit covered pajama pants
>toss those fuckers down the basement stairs where the washing machine is
>put on new pajamas
>take the boxers with me outside to see if I can find the garbage can
>advanceddarkness.png
>can't see shit (literally)
>walk back upstairs and end up cleaning the fuck out of my boxers with a sponge and some dish soap for 15 something minutes
>toss the (now clean) fuckers down the stairs and throw the sponge in the garbage
>put dish soap back at the kitchen sink and go to my room
>typing this on my iPad right now
>mfw

So how was your night, /r9k/?

at least my parents didn't wake up