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ITT: Obscure Feels I know you fags have some weird shit

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Thread replies: 488
Thread images: 116

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ITT: Obscure Feels
I know you fags have some weird shit going on so spit it out
>>
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>tfw living a lynchian nightmare every night
> tfw I'm afraid of mirrors/windows (not because of my reflection specifically, but what i see) so i cover all of them with anything i can
>tfw frequently see mystical beings and horrible sights

I feel unsafe every night
>>
>tfw had to make a phone call
>absolutely exhausted from it
>>
>>36535815
how do you feel exhausted from it specifically
>>
>>36535771
>>36535771
>tfw I just want to live in a shack in the forest that has a wood burning stove and a false floor that's covered by a rug that has an entrance to my cobblestone spank n wank dungeon.
>>
>>36535846
Where would you get food? No internet or electricity? How would you shitpost?
>>
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>tfw the only person I have truly felt love for is someone who has been living in another continent for nearly a year now and either doesn't know that I've ever felt that way about her or just thinks I'm a weirdo but I'm too shy to contact her on social media and even if I did I'm too poor to afford plane tickets and really just want to see her in person again
>>
>>36535846
are you the Unabomber
>>
>tfw ur on again off again online gf tells you she's actually just turned 18 and that's why your plans to meet up and live together over the years kept "falling through" for weird reasons and she was hiding it from you because she actually wants to marry you and couldn't bear the thought of you breaking it off with her if you found out she wasn't actually in her early 20s which she knew you would because you're an honorable, loyal man who would never want to take advantage of a young girl and confesses she's been manipulating you in all kinds of ways but when she finally comes clean about it all you laugh it off and you plan to elope together
>>
>be alone in safety of home
>feel intense anxiety building up and eating me from the inside
>get severely beaten up and robbed of my meagre possessions
>feel oddly at peace
>>
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I hate how art has lost its value. Now a days anything passes for art and deep emotions and feelings. Art has become superficial... just like people.
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>tfw you just dropped out of college without telling anyone because you felt like you were about to kill yourself, like literally just packed up a few things and left, and are now riding on a grayhound bus to colorado because that's the farthest you could go with the money you have with no where to stay once you get there, no money, and a minimum of possessions
I sure hope this works out for me.
>>
>>36535880
I'd hunt for my food and dig a well or bring water in from a river. Electricity won't be needed.
>>
>>36535896
what the fuck dude is this real life
>>
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>>36535896
>>36535946
sometimes I forget how crazy the world is
>>
>>36535943
Correction, people were always superficial and art outputs mean nothing in the grand scheme. also you're a faggot
>>
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this fucking thread man. really makes me wonder.
>>
>>36535800
>everyone ignoring this first post
am i the only one thinking about how fucking weird this post is
>>
>>36535771
Huh, perfect thread at the perfect time
>tfw been listening to Days And Daze while posting on /tv/
>tfw getting this cosmic sense of youth, this weird feeling of both nostalgia and fear of the future
>tfw I regret so much I didn't do in my high school years
>tfw I feel bad for wasting the start of my summer not doing anything of value
>tfw I want to become a filmmaker so bad but I never do anything to further myself

The word that best comes to mind right now is "sunset". It's the end of a childish era and soon I'll have to face being an adult, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I just have to sit back, watch the sun go down, and worry about tomorrow morning when it comes.

I feel really uneasy because of this.
>>
>>36535943
It feels like everyone is an artist now
>>
>>36536092
'artist' is more of a tag now than a profession, artists are supposed to pour hours into their craft
>>
>intrusive thoughts
>double and triple check if there isn't anyone looking at me from my neighbor's window
when I'm in the kitchen
>>
>>36536170
close the blinds senpai
>>
>inexperienced with girls
>get rejected for the first time
>feel absolutely shit
>in bed for weeks crying over this girl
>realize I didn't actually love her, just the idea of love
>read the top 2000 /r/niceguys post
>realize that was me
>self awareness explodes
>look at my life, my thoughts and attitude towards things and can see easily why she rejected me

I feel like I need to take a hit of LSD
>>
>>36536170
i have a similar feel
>sitting in room
>feel like the government is looking at me through infrared cameras
>begin feeling extremely paranoid
>>
>>36536174
there aren't blinds on my kitchen's window
>>
>>36536121
I used to live and breathe art. I sketched random stuff from the time that I could until I was about 16, almost every day. I was the best artist at my school, and had kids stand around and watch me sometimes. It eventually started feeling like a chore, so I quit and I haven't sketched anything in 10 years. Don't know what the point of saying this is. I guess I'm jealous of them deep down
>>
>>36536199
acquire blinds senpai
>>
>tfw mental breakdown and going to go live the rest of your life in a monastery
>>
Having a candle lit in my room makes me feel really good. Inexplicably good, really.
>>
>>36536195
In my case it's not paranoia, just a fuckton of anxiety trying to get it's way out from my brain

I'm almost certain it's OCD
also
>thoughs about "someone" looking at you, right behind you
>>
>>36536212
Do they feed you and shit there? like, you literally don't ever have to work again and all you have to do is pray and not have sex?
>>
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>the no girl in my life who wears thigh high socks that are slightly too tight and will let me touch and squeeze the thigh squish
>>
>>36536255
I think you have to work. monasteries do a lot of volunteering and stuff. correct me if I'm wrong though >>36536212
>>
>>36536271
I'll shave my legs and wear thigh high socks and let you pretend that I'm a girl, if you want
>>
>>36535771
>get home from work
>left over churros (desert) I was saving isn't in the fridge
>made brother specifically promise not to eat them after I bought him food yesterday
>pancake mix is out
>already ate all my blue berries that I wanted for blue berry pancakes
>ate my cereal too
>and bananas

He's sleeping on the couch now, tommorow morning I'm going to say the most hurtful thing I can come up with. I'm going to call him a "nigger faggot" and I'm going to insult his homosexuality. I want him to cry when I call him a "faggot cock sucker" and tell him he will "burn in hell" for being a "self absorbed dick muncher". Maybe I'll say that our dead dad would be disappointed by his faggot ways. I feel justified because he'a a sociopathic liar and this shows that he has zero respect for me, I've tolerated his faggotry, I even hesitate to call him a Sodomite some days out of respect, but he clearly doesn't care about me. I'm going to call him the whore of gay Babylon in the morning when he wakes up, I'm going to yell it too, so maybe he will be confused at first, but I want him to cry.
>>
>>36536291
Are you a qt trap and live in Japan?
>>
>>36535771
Does "the one and only good thing I have going for me is the size of my penis" counts as an "obscure feel"
>>
>>36536323
Nope. I'm a thicc american bred white boi
>>
>>36536319
he probably stuffed em up the ass tbf
im so sorry for your loss
>>
>tfw you're lazy, but at the end of the day in the last 30minutes before you go to bed you freakout about another day going by and getting nothing done
>>
>>36536255
No, because the monastery is self-sufficient for the most part I'll have to do a variety of different jobs in order to support it. It's not just praying all day. Anything from cleaning, growing vegetables, to giving haircuts.
>>
>>36536382
well shit, sign me up. sounds pretty comfy. i already don't have sex so i'm not even giving anything up there
>>
>When you're all anxious and you interpret any kind of not-absolutely explainable sound you hear as a potential auditory hallucination
>>
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>only enjoy /mbti/ general
>it's being suffocated by shitposting related to inaccurate stereotypes and pointless shitflinging

>be into tarot and numerology
>still don't understand my destiny
>>
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>>36536353
He was watching this tv show the other day, it was about faggot drag queens. I really hate queers and their pathetic little lives. I want to stomp on their faces. He's disgusting and if there is hell he will burn in it, but hey, at least he got to suck all those cocks right? I know he looks for sex on tinder and saw hik looking at other gayboys. He makes me want to puke.
>>
>>36536407
wanna red pill me on numerology anon?

numbers are super neat
>>
>>36536319
nigga all he did was eat food jesus
>>
>>36536394
research monasteries in your area. I'm joining a trappist one. usually they can let you stay for a trial period to see you if can adjust to it and like it before you devote your life. there might be some requirements as well, like being an ordained member of the catholic church.
>>
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>>36535943
i know these feels anon...also dont listen to these other shit posters telling you your a fag....
i mean maybe you are a fag, but not because of what you posted,
im a songwriter and im afraid i'll never sell a song ever
damn now im depressed
>>
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>Tfw you were in love with a beautiful Christian girl who went on alot mission trips to Estonia and she studied there culture and history etc.
>Now every time you hear or see the word "Estonia" you get a pang of sadness and regret in your heart.
>>
>>36535771
>tfw you're actually considering getting on of these
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkcKaNqfykg
>>
>tfw want to be back in mental hospital for no real reason
>>
dropped out of college and live with mom. i have zero plans. i dont want to live here anymore but i dont know what else to do
>>
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>>36536421
People get caught up in the question of how astrology, numerology, and the rest of this stuff works, they don't bother to see for themselves really it actually does work. In my opinion, all that really matters is whether this stuff really does correspond to reality when you take it seriously; and for me, they have.

If you're interested in giving it a shot, here's some links to get a free, no strings attached numerology reading.

http://affinitynumerology.com/personal-numerology-reading/free-numerology-reading-form.php#maincontentcontinue
http://www.scientificpsychic.com/numerology.html

What you stand to gain is insight into who you are at your core, and what path in life you are meant to follow (or rather what situations you tend to find yourself in and the role you play). It's definitely been helpful to me on my quest for self-discovery and orientation in the world, but it's an ongoing process of interpreting the results and trying to realize them. I still haven't figured everything out. Hopefully, though, it will be for you even just a little bit helpful, as well.
>>
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>Tfw can't go to sleep voluntarily
>>
>>36536553
thank you anon, i will take a look at the links. it sounds very interesting-
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>>36535896
Dude, come on. Orgasmically just come on
>>
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>>36536508
I think we're all starting to come around to the idea of AI gfs
>>
>I routinely forget how to tie my shoes
>I'll squat and stare at them for a while wondering what to do
>can't get my hands to do anything resembling a knot
>>
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>>36536630
Your welcome. I'd like to hear how it works out for you if you feel like sharing afterward.
>>
>>36536653
honestly I don't care about alt-right memes

Hell, I don't give a damn about her political positions as long she isn't a preachy extremist

All I want is someone who is there for me when I come home from work and that has something nice to say about me from time to time
>>
>>36536722
nice dubs anon. i would love to share. im just cooking a frozen pizza right now so it will have to wait for a few minutes
>>
>>36536343
I'm sorry, I can't afford to fly you to asia
>>
>tfw will never die in a final, glorious cavalry charge buying time for my king to escape
>>
>>36535771
It seems like I can only fap to really weird shit.
Regular porn, and even regular hentai, has been failing me lately.
Seems like I can't even nut anymore w/o going to /d/ or Eightchan.
>>
>>36536319
Roasting him on being gay alone is stupid, you need to somehow tie it to being a byproduct of him being a shitty human being to really crack him. It doesn't even need to be a well thought through link, just make him feel like he's broken, it's what every normal person fears the most.
>>
>tfw female asian penpals are the only social interaction you have in the world
>>
>>36536743
???

plz be my ___ gf is a /r9k/ meme
the poster who got the get was a robot
there's no politics here
>>
I'm kinda wondering what the point of painting anymore since apparently I have parkinsons and will go blind as well. WHAT A FUTURE TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

Also, who do you guys want me to fuck in the ass? You're really really pushing the "Nut in the butt" messages. Now, if it's because she has fucking AIDS... I would just rather not have sex with her. It's only a one night thing anyways, right? So what's the fucking point? Why risk something like that... especially for someone that has done such terrible things to me? Honestly, I would rather just snug and talk if this is the case.
>>
>>36536722
i took the reading real quick and lots of it seems to be optimistic. since it was just software, i feel like i should take it with a grain of salt.
>>
>>36536319
I'm a fag myself and I doubt a rant like this would do anything but make me chuckle. Just tell him to stop being a cunt and threaten to kick him out or kick his ass if he eats your shit again.
>>
>>36536893
>optimistic
seems like you don't feel like you're in a good spot right now. what's the trouble?

>software
your name and birthday are calculated in multiple different ways to produce the individual type of readings, which were all thought out individually beforehand. it's not the software that's coming up with interpretations on the spot
>>
>>36536878
also...

Isn't she my fucking sister? You guys want me to not only fuck my sister in the ass... but you want to fucking record it and release it as a sex tape?

What the fuck is wrong with you people?
>>
>>36535800
That was my life three months ago. See somebody about it, they'll help with either coping mechanisms or medications.
>>
>>36535771
I want to get very sick so that people will have to give me attention and care for me. Kind of a Munchausen feeling.
>>
>>36536923
>it's not the software that's coming up with interpretations on the spot

are you sure? because on the page it said "Numerology reading software provided by Will Bontrager Software LLC"

>what's the trouble?
just some life issues. typical robot stuff, why am i here, kill me, etc.
>>
Also what's the fucking space pirate shit? Like... seriously? I'm StarLord? What the fuck is my kingdom? The entire multiverse?

Humans are slaves?

What the fuck is life? Am I ever going to find out what this is all about or will you just fuck with me until I fucking die? Thats how it feels anyways.
>>
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>>36535771
>tfw all I do is beat my meat, listen to the same 5 songs and feel like shit
>>
>>36537063
This isn't an obscure feel. This is normal.
r- right?
>>
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>>36537015
>are you sure?
that refers to the back-end that does the calculation on your name and matches the result to the appropriate interpretation in the site database that was written by the author of that site.

>just some life issues. typical robot stuff, why am i here, kill me, etc.
well, let the results you've read stew in your mind for a while, and come back to it every now and then; it's difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel or to believe you'll ever reach it, but maybe some time in the future you'll be able to start putting two and two together and find these readings meaningful, applicable.
>>
>tfw you break out of your depressive phase into a phase of intense anger at life

I have a feeling I'm gonna be fired from my shitty retail job soon, because almost every day I get fucking furious and start yelling and punching boxes then leave early.
My boss and co-workers may be afraid of me, kek
>>
>>36537101
>that refers to the back-end that does the calculation on your name and matches the result to the appropriate interpretation in the site database that was written by the author of that site.

that makes sense.

thank you for your time anon
>>
Not my post but fits the order.
>>36536276
>>
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Alright laddos, buckle down.
This has been bothering me for literal months on end now, since I remembered it during a near death experience.
>Be middleschool me
>6"0 in 7th grade
>Quiet kid in class, avoid talking to people, but am generally liked because pleasent to be around.
>shorter blonde girl in my english class sits next to me
>nice girl, nothing to write home about though
>sweet girl though, always cheerful and happy to talk
>I liked me the shorter girls, still do today.
>around half way through the year im just getting home and starting my homework
>notice a folded piece of paper in my backpack
>read first few lines of what is seriously like a full fucking essay
>confession letter from blondy
>fuckme.jpg
>think to myself not to sperg the fuck out
>crumple confession letter into ball and throw across room
>feel great relief
>realize ignoring the situation is a lot easier than seeing it through
>go to school the next day
>she's anxious when she sees me
>Poker face
>we share one of those two person tables together, but i persevere brothers
>after class ends and i haven't acknowledge her confession she seems upset
>next day she seems determined
>poker face through another painful class
>get home, find another letter
>this ones shorter, to the point.
>my heart skips a beat
>time comes to a stop
>I crumple the letter and throw it across my room
>instant relief
cont?
>>
>>36537174
Whatever, man. This story already has an unlikable protag though it is interesting.
>>
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>tfw all my friends are from 4chan and talk to me every day, opening up to me about their loneliness and fears
>tfw they've been my closest friends for years and I've always supported them through the good and bad, soothing them through gaming, movie watching or peaceful music sharing when they're down
>it's mutual, they always cheer me up when im a little sad too
>tfw I love my stupid depressed 4chan friends

>tfw I've been lying about my name and gender this entire time, I'm not a guy but I can't tell them because I don't want them to suddenly change and leave.
>tfw we'll never meetup and hangout someday like they keep dreaming about because I never want them to know the truth

Bros for life
>>
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>>36537244
I never said I'm a likable person, nor does it probably get any better.
...
This continues for literal weeks and three more letters. she finally starts showing signs of desperation or anger
>get home after school, find note in one of the side pockets on my carpenter jeans
>wat? When?
>First line says its the final letter, she's desperate to know, she's been under massive stress and anxiety, can barely make it through class
>just wants me to reply to her efforts, a letter, a nod, a smile, anything.
>heart is racing, don't know what to do
>I don't dislike her, dating her wouldn't be that bad
>easy entry level gf
This was when I realized I might be what I will come to know as a robot
>fold letter up, ninja star it across room into pile of previous letter balls.
>feel no great relief
>feel only great shame
>realize how i can fix situation
>gather up all the letters, run into backyard
>dig small hole, place evidence inside
>set fire to evidence, bury to hide burn marks from parents.
>blame the hole in the grass on dogs
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>go to school without a worry in the world for the last half of the year.
>Blondy wasn't really the same, kind of stopped talking to people, lost her cheerful attitude
>next school year starts and she's moved away.
>I've forgotten about the whole situation, only remember it years later in a car crash while looking back on my life
Talked to some mutual friends she stayed in contact with a little time back. she got super depressed afterwards, didn't want to come to school anymore so her parents took advantage and moved somewhere cheaper. tfw fucked over some poor girls happy middleschool life and friends. I... I don't know why I didn't just talk to her. I never really had a reason not to. Looking back on it that would have been way fucking easier and less stressful. Might have even had a chance at normie life.
>>
>>36537380
I watched some goosebump episodes with some people from 4chan one night. We stayed up all night just talking and watching goosebumps. I didn't even know their names. I'll never forget that night
>>
>>36537380
Don't ever tell them, it'll instantly get weird and change the way they behave towards you. We're too lonely to handle knowing there's a girl in our midst.
>>
>>36535771
>take shits with a blanket over my head so it's extra dark and comfy

Been doing it since i was a little kid. I don't know what's nice about it.
>>
>>36537518
I take my pants and shirt off when i take a shit
>>
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>when you have a uni project due in 5 days and you're pretty sure your partner who is supposed to be doing half of the project is dead since they aren't taking my calls or responding to my emails and I haven't seen any sign of activity
>>
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>>36537393
Well, it certainly qualifies for the thread at least.

Hopefully you've since become a better person.
>>
>>36536170
I FUCKING HATE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS.

>When I'm walking along a road I vividly think of cars going out of control and hitting me

>Poles being spilled out of the trunk of a car that I'm behind and one impales me in the head

>Picking up knives and stabbing myself or others

>People hearing my thoughts on the bus

The lost goes on and on. I've tried talking to therapists and they don't help. I can't escape it. I think about it multiple times daily.
>>
>>36537590
List* oops

Oragano
>>
>>36537101
yo anon, you still on? I can't believe I've found another tarotfag
>>
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>>36537646
Yeah, I'm still here. Destiny and Life Path number?
>>
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>tfw plan to an hero with the only friend I have because I'm too much of a pussy to do it on my own and we happen to be both longing for death
>tfw he kills himself a month before I could visit him so we can do the deed together
>tfw now stuck in life and feeling lonelier and more depressed than ever
>tfw I miss him a lot but I despise him just as much
>>
>>36537646
>>36537670
or rather, do you have a screenshot of your personal card spread?
>>
>>36537680
No, sadly. I read the cards myself actually.
>>
>>36537676
I'm so sorry anon, that sounds incredibly lonely and sad. I wish I could help in some way.
>>
>>36537676
Nice excuse not to an hero pussy.
it's ok I'm too pussy too
>>
stopped talking to my older sister because she refuses to apologize for molesting me as a kid.
now she cries every night because she has no one to talk to fuck her
>>
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>>36537590
>you see your friends over there?

Yeah

>they all hate you, none of them can stand you. I'm gong to tell you this every day, btw.

T-thanks, brain
>>
>>36537689
I see. I've got a screenshot myself. I'm waiting for myself to get around to continuing looking at the different decks currently in existence so I can finally find one appropriate for me to purchase. In the meantime, I've been slowly figuring out what the individual cards mean.

I've got a lot of Hermit, High Priestess and Empress in my spread, irrc. Hanged Man+Empress as the core.
>>
>>36537704
Intrusive thoughts fucking suck. I wish I knew a way around it.
>>
>tfw contemplate driving as fast as you can and driving off the road into a tree or pole or whatever, every time you're driving
>>
>>36537714
Last time I did a reading online I remember getting The Fool, Justice and Hierophant as my individual cards.

Oh, by the way, if you want to I can read your cards. Just grab a Random Number Generator from 0 to 21 and tell me the first 5 numbers. It's a way to draw some cards asd.
>>
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>>36535771
>tfw you'll never be anime protagonist.
sucks
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>>36537766
not with that attitude you won't faggot
>>
I want to be murdered

I go on night walks and constantly fantasize about a mugger approaching me and deliberately goading him into killing me

Never happens though
>>
>>36535800
Is that picture that fucks up your eyes for 3 months or something if you stare at it?
>>
>>36537745
>The Fool, Justice and Hierophant
Seems to make sense.

>Numbers
What's the harm? But I think it will work better if we have some sort of personal connection, like knowing our names or something. What do you recommend? A powerful wojak to focus on? I don't know...
>>
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>you will never explore alien star systems and planets with a non-normie cute girl who can appreciate it
>you will never get to experience an upgraded version of the human body that can move faster than sound, withstand radiation, sustain strong impacts, and output incredible strength
>you will never get a computer chip to vastly improve your reaction time and problem solving ability
>you will never be immortal
>you will never EVER travel through time and see the distant past and future of our world and others
>you will never EVER EVER get to travel to a completely different dimension an experience 2D, 1D, or dimensions higher than our own
>you will never ever, not even in a million reincarnations, get to travel to a reality with an entire set of universes, dimension, timelines, and parallel worlds, that is completely unconnected from our own in any way, shape, or form, and can only be theorized to exist
>>
>>36537766
>tfw getting the mc's seat in school fucked me up more than anything
Sitting near the window in the back of the class made me even more of a introvert
>>
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>>36537809
kek, that would work. I would normally do this in RL, but I don't have a deck.
I believe the fact we both believe in the Arcana may be our personal connection. Not only that, but we both visit /r9k/ and both are (proably, I wouldn't know about you) failures at life.
I'm using the deck from Tactics Ogre online, it's actually pretty good looking.
>>
>>36537703
Are you a boy? If so maybe you could have sex with her and it would be even?
>>
>>36537814
>Sitting near the window in the back of the class made me even more of a introvert
But that's literally the best seat. You can just relax and look through window.
>>
>>36537845
no she is ugly and disgusting and stupid as fuck
>>
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>you write a good post in a bad thread
>thus making it unavailable for everyone else

>you're masochist but you don't actually get off sexually on it
>>
>>36537590
It's weird, I've always had these kinds of thoughts come to me, it was always just part of my natural absent-mindedness. I never really thought much of it until now. Anytime I'm in a room and I get bored, I start imagining all the things I could do with stuff in the room. Maybe think about making a tower of pens and books, or use a chair to beat someone, or stand on the ceiling, or jump out the window, anything really.
>>
>>36537864
I was put there because I wall a lanky faggot even when I was a kid. Like, 5'8'' as a 10 y\o kid.
I have no memories of elementary school, just the trees being shaken by the wind in autumn and being sunlit during the summer.
>>
>>36537693
Do you know how I can cope with grief? That's what I'm struggling with the most.
It's okay if you don't, I appreciate you wanting to help, thank you anon. Hope you have a good day.
>>
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>>36537842
Using random.org:

19
4
18
6
15

Read me, lad. Cerebretronic here.
>>
>>36537806
no, i made the image i uploaded though
>>
>>36537393
I feel like being pissed at you but then again I don't know how I would've handled the situation either. It's easy to be a backseat autist. I hope you've taken something away from this.
>>
>>36537174
>>36537393
I can't hate you because I can't honestly say I would have done better.
>>
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>>36537903
I'll read you card by card.

The card that represents what you're looking for in life is The Sun. The Sun, in the Arcana, represents order and life that has trumped over The Moon. Not being subject of lies and hatred anymore, you're looking for balance, peace and prosperity, but you're still missing that something that will make you find it. Wich is why I'm reading the cards kek.
You see, the Sun is a good card, but its most important aspect is the how it's a gateway towards illumination and prosperity. You're still not there yet, but you're close.
Part 2 incoming soon.
>>
>>36537734
sounds a little corny but i've found that some simple meditation techniques can help
>>
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>>36537903
>>36537973
The card that represents YOU right now is The Emperor, number 04.
Being the archetypal Father figure, you're strong, but still emotional, as any real father should be. You're mature, secure but at the same time you look for Order. Only by following order a man can prospere, and so it is, not because of random reasons, no, but because every law has a reason to be. So, being the Emperor the card that represents you the most right now, it really shows how much thought you put into things in life. Not for it's own sake, but for something bigger than yourself.
Now we'll look at what's in your favour and what's against you.
>>
>>36537973
>>36538039
Could you do a reading on me too?
Numbers are 6,4, 13, 1, 19
>>
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>>36537903
>>36538039
The card in your favour is, quite ironically, the Moon. The appareance of the Moon in a reading means that not everything looks as it is, but, since the Moon is the last ordeal in the Arcana and it's in your favour, this means that looking at things in another light shall help you. You see, walking in the shadows lighted by the Moon is frighting in itself, since it represents blind determination, but you're willing to do it, and ready to fullfill your destiny.
Part 4 incoming.
>>
>>36538107
All this is making me think of is Persona
>>
>>36537973
>>36538039
>>36538107
Still reading and patiently waiting, thank you.
>>
>>36537961
If anything I've just gotten worse, perhaps a bit more comedic in my reactions, but certainly worse in terms of how I deal with those kinds of situations. I've a few more stories to spin, but I can see this thread sinking soon so not here, and not now.
No... no, the real cringe begins in highschool and the memories of my autism kicking into maximum overdrive that I can never forget.

Until then I'm roping in my pepes and taking flight
>>
>>36538113
>All this is making me think of is Persona
Persona is based on tarot cards and jungian archetypes. Hell, even name "Persona" means social mask you put to be around other people according to C.G.Jung
>>
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>>36538083
Will do once I'm done with him ahahaha. Please wait for me.
>>36537903
>>36538107
The Arcana leaning against you is The Lovers. >tfw no gf casted aside, this is quite troubling. Being the Lovers the card that represents companionship and confrontation, this means you'll either be alone in your quest, or be confronted by your loved ones about your journey. Not only that, but being the man in the lovers the conscious and the woman the inconscious, you may find trouble trying to reconcile both of them.
At last, the final reading. The outcome of your journey.
>>
>>36538138
I know it is. It's just weird because Persona is my only experience with this, so hearing it outside of the game is odd. cool though. I don't know what the hell you're talking about but it's interesting
>>
>>36537430
Yeah, I know and understand very well. I havent said anything in about 2-3 years now and still have no intention to. It's never even a problem until they talk about coming out to see me or wanting to use a mic over games. That's when the excuses have to roll out, but luckily those times are pretty rare
>>
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>Tfw best friend turned oneitis with severe PTSD and Major Panic disorder from being held as a sex slave by a mafia boss is going to prostitute herself out to some rich kike lawyer and his Indian wife because she's destitute and can't pay for school
>Tfw almost certain if this doesn't blow her up as a person it'll warp her into a cynical uncaring fuck

I don't even KNOW how to feel bros. She's already dissociating from the whole situation and wheres before she was warm and nice she's becoming terse and distant again.
>>
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>>36538134
thank you for your patience! I'm actually really enjoying this so far, I hope you do too.
>>36538113
>The moment man devoured the fruit of knowledge, he sealed his fate... Entrusting his future to the cards, man clings to a dim hope. Yet, the Arcana is the means by which all is revealed... Beyond the beaten path lies the absolute end. It matters not who you are... Death awaits you.
>>36537903
>>36538144
The card that represents the outcome of your journey is The Devil. Don't worry, my friend, for The Devil is often a misunderstood Arcana. You see, we may cling to a dim hope, but we never admit our own wrongdoing or, if we do, we try to cast aside the tought or try to blame something else. It doesn't work that way, and The Devil reminds us that since we are mortals, we shall always keep within the seed of Evil. We are human, we can be both evil and angelic, we should all accept that, and at the end of the journey, you may be able to understand much of yourself if you let yourself go and try to see for yourself who truly you are inside.

You look for order and prosperity but, before doing that, you should try to reconcile the demons inside your hearts. Accept them and make them your new strenght.
I hope you liked the reading.
>>36538083
Now back at ya
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>>36538195
>americans literally have to whore themselves out to pay of school
>>
>>36538188
I understand anon. I've heard you can get voice changers to swap your apparent gender if you want to talk without giving yourself away. Not sure how well they work female -> male.
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>>36537973
>>36538039
>>36538107
>>36538144
>>36538232
Thank you for taking the time to do this. It turned out to be on the whole fairly accurate.

You see, I've been wanting to spend this upcoming summer on my own in a city I've never lived in before. I'm 21 years old and coming up on my last year of college, but I only have been slowly coming into full maturity. I want to grasp my independence, for one, but I'm also dissatisfied with life right now, because of tfw no gf, tfw no passion or ultimate direction, etc. So I also want to try and start a new life for myself, and I'll do that by forcing myself to make it on my own, at least for three months.

I still haven't gotten all the details down, and I'm a little reluctant to leave everything behind, more than I am anxious about failure or anything. But I really do want to do it, and really believe I can do it.

So I think the cards and your reading of them reflects that for the most part. I suspect your reading of The Devil may be too charitable and beating around the bush, but if you really believe you should be reading it that optimistically and aren't holding back, I'll take your word for it. I'm just not entirely sure your interpretation of it here is the right one.

Anyway, sincere thanks again, friend. I really appreciate it. Good luck to you on your path for the future, as well. Peace.
>>
>tfw you pushed away all of your friends because you are inferior in every way to them
>tfw you crave basic friends to text and talk to but know it's all your fault
>>
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>>36538083
Since I have to prepare lunch or else I'll starve, I'll sum it up in one post. Brace yourself.

The Arcana that represents what you're looking for in life is The Lovers. As we saw before, The Lovers both represents companionship and relationship goals and the duality of conscious and unconscious. You're either looking for love, for order in your mind or both.

The Arcana that represents you is the Emperor, 04. Yet again, The Emperor represents the Father figure in the order of things. Reliable, caring, true to yourself, many adjectives fit you but the most important one is how you look for others and for order and law. You respect the natural course of things and you want to be part of it.

On your side you have Death. Another misunderstood Arcana, Death represents decay but also reincarnation. Many things change in life, for the better or for the worse, and having on your side Death means you accept your fate and you welcome any changes in your life. You know how hurtful it is, but you know it's gonna be alright in the end.

Against you we have The Magician, 01. He represents the reality of the world and how things work, by accepting the laws of nature. It may be strange to have him against you, and in fact it is, since usually it's a fine card. Wich brings a question: do you fear reality? Do you fear logic? You have the reins of your life, but you seem like you don't want to.

And finally, 19, The Sun. The Sun is acceptance of reality and order after a long journey in the bowels of the night that is The Moon. You'll face great hardships, but you'll come on top and you'll be able to bask in the Sun's graceful light.

But, only if you're willing to act. The Arcana shows great promise in you, but you need to act, otherwise change will not happen.
>>
>>36535943
>le wrong generation

seriously the only thing superficial is your knowledge about art
>>
>>36538378
Thanks for reading. It's strange that i have Emperor by my side but i'm against reality aka Magician? It looks like i'm running from myself.
> but you need to act, otherwise change will not happen
Is that specific in my reading or just common advice?
>>
>tfw I invited a gay friend over for beers and sleepover and we laid in my bed cuddling and staring into each other's eyes and even shared a kiss but my homolust was non existent so nothing sexual happened and I woke up comfortably asserting my heterosexuality
>>
>>36538335

About The Devil. I'm trying to be optimistic but remember that reading the Arcana without acting will always affect life negatively.
As a nice man told on the internet, the Devil is a cancer that devours you from the inside. It's up to you what you are goint to do with it, but I do believe it's best to accept it and take reins of it, rather than being driven by it and not understanding why.
You see my point? It's not easy, it's not something you need to do only once and then you're done, nono. It eats you away.
You're not alone in the struggle. Godspeed, and may the Arcana be with you.
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>>36538432
Looking at your cards, friend, you are ready for change in the name of love or integrity of mind, but you're afraid. I'm talking about you, anon. You are not willing to act even if the stars are aligned in your favour, and this is going eventually to bite you in the arse.
>>
>>36538342
>tfw your friends become normies so you had no choice but to push them away
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>>36538335
Thought I should include my personal card spread anyway.

I also feel compelled to prove I'm not a normie: I'm non-white, 5'7" skinny, with schizoid personality disorder. I don't connect with people like others do normally; I don't laugh the same, show affection or interest the same, relate to the same feels. I feel alienated by family, race, mentality, etc.. I am indeed a robot.

>>36538461
I'll try to keep that in mind.
>>
>>36535771
>tfw aphantasia, the complete inability to visualize imagery, also causing poor memory
>tfw few and empty memories of childhood
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>>36538412
>postmodernism is the gateway to great art!
>>
>>36538491
>You are not willing to act
Yeah because i'm afraid of the unknown.
>>
>tfw you spend an entire day visualizing an adventure that turns into an epic story and you get so caught up in it that you are geniunely surprised when the story ends and you realize none of it happened and you've been staring at a wall the entire time
>>
>>36536228
does the flame also turn you on

I love watching a candle wick burning, the fire moving back and forth, yearning to break out of my control and kill me like the flamable piece of trash I am, it's all so erotic
>>
>>36538518
People have always made loads of shitty art and some good ones, man. We just remember the good ones, and technology makes it easier for the shitty art to be seen. Thinking like that will make you overlook out of habit any good art that is made now.
>>
>>36538500
Your core cards both impress me. The Hanged Man represents a different perspective in life, while the Empress represents the Mother figure by default: loving, caring and interested in the well being of others. Not directly involved into affairs like the Emperor, but still quite forceful and decisive when we talk about results.
Also, there's no need to prove anything. You are you, labeling yourself dehumanizes your true self, I think.
>>36538523
You have Death on your side, anon. You have nothing to fear. Even if you do not act, change will happen, if you like it or not. Please reconsider, you don't have to be yourself, just do. I'm with you.
>>
>>36536553
Source on picture? It's originally very aesthetic
>>
>>36538538
i'll do this. I'll also pace around the house while I do it. sometimes i listen to music, and it's always one song on repeat
>>
>>36538596
Music is actually what got me started, I'd be listening to a song I liked and start imagining a scene to go along with it, and then it would evolve into a long adventure.
>>
>>36538580
Hey! If your still in this thread can i get a reading?
13
15
9
11
2
>>
>tfw watching behind the scenes footage of sketch comedy writers rooms and feeling sad because I don't have that.
Can you imagine being part of the Conan era Simpsons writers rooms or the writing team for That Mitchell and Webb Sound?
>tfw no group of wannabe actors and comedians to put on shows with.
>>
>>36538580
>You have Death on your side, anon. You have nothing to fear. Even if you do not act, change will happen, if you like it or not. Please reconsider, you don't have to be yourself, just do. I'm with you.
So my life is marked with constant changes? Maybe i'm holding onto the past and therefore avoiding meeting myself.
>>
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>>36538582
I believe I got it from a thread on /fa/, alternatively /p/ but I don't think so. I saved it on November 22nd, 2016. The image above was edited by me to remove the man here in this original picture.

>>36538580
>Your core cards both impress me.
As in you admire them?

I found out some weeks ago that these pairings are all set in stone.
http://www.tarotschool.com/HangedMan_Empress.html

According to that description, the opposition is detachment versus involvement, but both represent birth of different kinds. Here is from another site on the matter:

>The Theme for this lifetime is: Learning to surrender and accept life, and the ability to give and receive love and compassion.

What I find interesting is that 3 of the cards in my personal spread showed up in this reading you did for me, and in just about the right places, too. I was expecting, to be honest, this to be a bit more off base than it turned out.
>>
>>36535905
actual problems make you realise how pathetic your 'problems' were
>>
>driving down the highway back home from visiting somefamily.
>gf and some other family in the back of the car asleep
>i wonder what would happen if i drove this car off the freeway right now.

Why do i get these thoughts
>>
>>36538739
Fuck off normalfag. Go to /soc/
>>
>>36537142
just dealt w this for the first time a few months ago, the anger makes the depression that comes later much worse desu but at least it delays it for a while
>>
That feel when you interlace your fingers with your toes

That wave of heat that radiates across your whole body when you get embarrassed

When a once difficult enemy is re-met as a trivial encounter.

Getting someone with a card trick
>>
>>36535771
>tfw my dreams are so vivid and so normal that i sometimes predict the events of the day
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>>36538626
Sure thing buddy

The card that represents what you're looking for is Death, 13. Death represents both decay and rebirth, so you may be looking for a new "yourself".

What represents you right now is The Devil. Well, now, this ain't a good card. The Devil, as you've seen in the discussion with my friend over here >>36538461 , is not something you joke about. Something big, scary and evil lurks within you, and you've got to do something about it before it eats you and takes control of you.

Now, on your side, we have The Hermit. A nice card, the Hermit questions life and rules, completely opposite to the Emperor-Empress-Hierophant trinity, you may understand that many things hold different meanings and may be seen by many perspectives. You know about this and you welcome it, knowing that life is not black and white, but ultimately grey, and from this notion you may learn many things, about others and yourself.

Against you we have Justice. Justice represents the laws of the World, wich are Cause and Karma. The first one, clear enought, is "reap what you sow", while the second represents how things in the end work out for people. You may not believe in this worldly justice, or even discard it, but it is not fair, nor just, to do so. In fact, eventually you're going to see for yourself, may it be a good outcome or a bad one. Don't be an ass, please, or else something will come for you.

In the end, we have the High Priestess. Being her the representative of the unconscious, she shows us how much it affects the real life. If you really want to change and fight your demons, you have to look in yourself. The High Priestess has many readings, since it is about the Inner Voice, wich coincidentally changes within different people. You can't change if you don't change your attitude towards yourself.

Now I'll excuse myself, but I have to cook. I'll keep the thread open and see what you think. Thanks for patiently waiting.
>>
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>>36538813
I don't often remember my dreams, but sometimes I'll encounter a situation in the future that I recall having some unconscious thought of before. What I have yet to figure out is if it's a genuine memory, and I'm repeating what has already happened, or whether a vision I'd had had finally come true. What sort of deja vu is it, really?
>>
>>36538927
I have no idea, but it's fucking creepy.
>>
>tfw I get my gun and march around the house when I'm all alone like some fucking Russian guard
>tfw weirdly fascinated by marches and marching in general
>tfw very vivid dreams since I take new meds
>>
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>>36538684
You may read what you see most fit in the Arcana. If you feel that is the correct answer in your doing, so shall it be. I encourage doing so, actually.
>>
>>tfw you've probably been through 1000 timeloops by now
>tfw you forget every time and only remember when you see that one thing that hadn't seen yet but remember in that specific cycle
>tfw you can't prove it
>>
>>36538232
Have a go at me anon, your numerology sites missed the mark

8; 9; 5; 21; 13
>>
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>>36538967
>he chose the wrong eternity

>>36538946
Wouldn't happen to be ISTP, would you?
>>
>>36538718
I just noticed how it fits with the reading. You truly are a compassionate fellow.
>>
>>36535943
Truth

oreg
>>
>>36539008
Shit man, I should have chosen the construct.
>>
>>36539008
I have never taken the MTBI test.
>>
>>36536180
>browsing reddit

You deserve this
>>
>>36536319
Based

>>36536444
Wrong

>>36536896
In denial
>>
>>36538279
Tuition is free where I'm from. She can't maintain a full time job while in school to pay for her housing and other living expenses.
>>
>>36536407
>be into tarot and numerology

PROTIP: both are bullshit
>>
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>>36539060
I thought trips don't lie, /pol/lack
>>
>>36538922
First of all I wanna say thanks for taking the time out of your day to do this.
Yeah the devil was expected honestly. I know exactly whats lurking inside of me but I dont really know how to cleanse it, not yet anyway. The hermit applies to how and think and is accurate. The justice one was interesting to me. I've done dumb shit to people but i've always believed in karma. I've been reaping what i've been sowing for years in my opinion. But I may be wrong. the high priestess makes sense to me too. I've been struggling for awhile now to find out which me is the real me. Once again man thanks alot for doing this reading. I've got a long night of thinking about myself ahead of me now. Hope your lunch is good!
>>
>>36539081
Shut the fuck up, nigger

Oregano
>>
>>36536502
Yo, I'm from Estonia.
>>
>>36535771
> tfw been catfishing a lesbian woman for years now and she wants to visit now and I love her so much but we'll never be together and I'll have to break it off soon
>>
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> tfw at random times objects look hyper realistic and seem to stand out that I just want to look at whatever it is forever and explore it's every inch.
>>
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>>36539111
haha okay then guy
>>
>>36539042
>>36539008
You can actually give me one if it's not overly long.
>>
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>>36539111
>>36539153

Observe those digits, faggot
>>
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>>36538996
I'm not the same anon as the numberology guy lol.

Oh well, this will be my last reading since I have to fuck off and feed myself.

What you're looking for? Strenght. Strenght represents respect, loyalty and intellectual strenght. You may lack it, or feel like you are filled with either pride, lust, anger or sorrow. Strenght controlled by emotion is a beast not easily controlled, but it's what we all look for in life.

The Hermit represents what you are right now. You know certain answers to life's question do not lie in the reality of our life, but only within oneself. You question reality and its fruits, and know that looking only in one perspective at things doesn't really make sense.

In your favour we have the Hierophant, wich represents order, but not in a strong sense. You see, if the Emperor represents order that lies in oneself, the Hierophant represents order in much greater things, as God, or society. Having the Hierophant as your ally means you know that laws are to be followed for the greater good.

Against you we have The World. The World represents, as you may expected, everything and nothing. Alpha and omega and yadda yadda. Having the World as your nemesis means either you don't know what to expect of your efforts, since it's the last Arcana and represents the goal of Life, or you just discard the normal order of things. Screw you, God, I do things my own way! It may work, but you can't jump steps in life. You'll eventually learn the pace the life goes at, sooner or later.

In the end, we have Death. Your answer lies in change and rebirth; you'll be able to find your answers only by changing your current trajectory. You may not want to do it, since you reject reality and God so much, but only like this you'll find peace in order and strenght, by appealing to your inner urges and calming yourself.

I hope you understood what I was trying to say, but I feel this reading was the most difficult of the bunch.
>>
>>36539155
I won't have you do any of those tests, they're all pretty tedious. Just answer these questions here:

1) Do you like being alone more or with people? Why or why not?
2) Are you philosophically inclined or not? Have an easy time understanding abstract thought and big ideas?
3) Do you think feelings get in the way of getting stuff done? Or are they always an important consideration in whatever someone does?
4) Do you like schedule and planning, or freedom and improvisation?

The answers should point in a general direction that you could take from there to find the true location.
>>
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>>36539092
thanks buddy, and may the Arcana be with you. Hope you enjoy a good life.
>>
It's not an obscure feel to you guys, but it is one for the normies.

I'm not even a virgin, I'm not even anti social. By all criterias, you'd categorize me as one of them, but on the subject of romance, I do not identify with them in the slightest.

Biologically, it makes sense that attraction to a potential partner is sexually based, but to me, it doesn't make a lick of fucking sense.

I had sex and it mentally and emotionally fucked me up more than before I had sex. Now I am terrorized of sexual attraction and reject all girls who approach me based on that. I've dated, but every single girl I've dated was a self-centered piece of shit who I only felt attracted to because of desperation and physical attraction, but I know all girls are not like that. Every nice girl in my social circle is taken anyways.

I just don't get it anymore. Why is there so much pressure to fuck? Why is there so much pressure to lose your virginity? It all means nothing! Getting laid means nothing and, yet, everyone base their selection on whether someone is hot or not. Nit just physically, but psychologically. Everyone looks at a potential partner and ask themselves if they'd fuck them or not and if yes, they engage.

None of this makes sense to me. Not the sexual attraction in itself, but the fact that everyone speaks of love and relationship, but everyone base their selection mostly on sexual attraction.

One of my best friend is dating tons of tinder girls and he SPECIFICALLY tells them he just wants a non-romantic and non-sexual friendship with girls because he's fucked up from his previous girlfriend and despite that, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM tries to fuck him at one point to the point where he got to aggressively push them away.

I mean yeah sure sex feels good, but wht in the FUCK is EVERYONE about that and JUST that. I speak of how I feel to normies and how I want something genuine based on mutual understanding and support...

cont
>>
>tfw trying to force myself to become a normie so my mom stops being so sad every time she looks at me
>tfw can't connect with normies at all
>tfw can't connect with people online anymore either
>tfw can't stop thinking that everyone I talk to actually hates me
I just want my mom to die soon so I can an hero already, this existence is fucking miserable.
>>
>>36539240
Alone, because I'm free to do shit carelessly and I feel kind of better alone.
I have no idea really. I can grasp the big ideas, I am a religious person, I often have my head in the clouds.
Feelings always get in the way of getting shit done. It's a confirmed fact. I am sad, depressed and I can't be bothered to do anything properly or do anything at all. On the other hand, I imagine happiness, rage or being pumped up make doing stuff easier.
Kinda both. I like to have important things like work, scheduled while running wild with less significant actions.

I am also not a native English speaker, so I don't know if I answered correctly.
>>
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>When you're not sure if your boss raped you or you raped your boss
>>
>>36539329
>I am also not a native English speaker, so I don't know if I answered correctly.
You did fine.

Your answers point to IxTP based off what I asked you. Your habit, as I said, indicates ISTP, but you might not be one. In your dreams, do you want to be alone to
A) Live out life in near solitude, free to do whatever the fuck you want
ISTP
B) Live out life in solitude in order to contemplate and figure out the world
INTP

Alternatively, if you dream of adventure and maybe going out to war just for the fun of it, then you'd likely be an ISTP.

Whatever you answer, you could go to 16personalities.com or Portrait of an ISTP/INTP (whichever you choose) and read to see if it's accurate.
>>
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not obscure, but ill go. can't wait for faggots to call me a chad over a failed normie attempt.

>get an online gf, verified female
> she's literally a normie, but i try anyway
>enjoy the first week
>she sends nudes with no sweat
> ask more
>receive more
>find out 2 are fakes but don't care
>slowly begin to fall apart
>do, but on my birthday
>cry for a month
>considered getting back together
>finds new bf the next day

today IS that next day.
>>
>>36539268

Basically how my friend does it, but with a romantic intent and everyone tells me it's a naive disney esque desire and that I should give girls more of a chance and get laid more and try to be more open about "letting things happen" and flirt and I struggle to the point of blind rage to explain to them that I don't give a single shit about any of that and that I just want to see a girl without having some pressure to fuck at some point before I'm even fine with it. Yes I do want sex, but, basically, all I need is time to feel secure about my decision. I have a truckload of childhood traumatism that fucks me up on that point and I need time and all the normies have to say is "hurr dur u gotta ease up bro have sum pussi dont be so stuk up".

Nobody fucking understands. I tirelessly remind them and they keep putting pressure on me EVERY SINGLE TIME a single girl is in the vicinity. "Go talk to her bro she wants your dick go talk to her."

It's not even that my friends don't understand, it's that in some bizarre way, they understand my problems, but are so intensely conditioned towards sexual attraction that don't even realize how pressuring they are. I know they try to help, but they don't understand I can't be helped this way.

Even I struggle to understand it. I'm just scared, I've been used and heartbroken so many goddamn times I have zero hope left in genuine love. All I see are a bunch of fucking horny animals who cannot consider a relationship without a perfect and fullfilled sex life. I just want to talk and cuddle.
>>
>>36539423
Okay, thank you. Very originally.
>>
>>36536195
>begin to do something shameful or private
>sudden feeling that my life is being watched remotely by everyone I know as a tv show
>always feel like everyone i meet already knows about my thoughts perversions

pls help anon
>>
>>36539452
>>36539423
All things, considering your additional questions, seem to point to ISTP. I'd like to live in a small village, with my own home and field and tend to it. Or have an adventure. Or going to war. Ukraine
>>
>>36539512
Those are pretty common dreams among our robot ISTPs here on /r9k/. If you ever feel like sharing those feels or hearing others' like you thoughts, feel free to head into /mbti/ general anytime.
>>
>>36539144
derealization? I get that with panic attacks sometimes.
>>
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I wish there would be a civil war or something so I could fight for what I believe in and feel like my life had value but I'm too beta to actually start it I'm just gonna sit here and eat my mcdonalds and wait for someone else to revolt for me
>>
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>>36536614
Yeah, I share this feel. I just sit at my computer until i'm ready to pass out, it interfered with my life so much, it's the reason I become a robot. At least now I don't have a reason to wake up in the morning, or a reason to wake up at all...
>>
>>36537393
I don't know how to feel about this one. I want to hate you, but in some aspects I can relate to how you felt. Maybe try and get in contact with her again, tell her you're sorry, that you regret ignoring her. She must have some social media or something.
>>
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>two uncles die in the same day in a horrible accident
>feel nothing
>aunt gets diagnosed with terminal cancer
>feel nothing
>grandpa died a few hours ago
>feel nothing
What is wrong with me? Is this what years of social isolation does to a person?
>>
>>36539677
I wasn't even able to fall asleep tonight, now I have to hear my normalfag family waking up.
>>
>tfw father was immense child killing piece of shit, yet never did anything to make him proud of you while he was alive

To put it into context, it was vietnam and he killed kids who thought they were righteous in the act of killing, and it fucked with him badly. Even so, all he did was scream, and when screaming didn't work, he beat me almost daily, and my mom, to get what he wanted. coupled with the fact I didn't know what dad wanted, got bullied in school, so in both cases was beaten almost daily twice, not knowing what I actually did wrong except exist. Maybe existing was wrong in itself, I don't know. I just know never being good enough to do anything and being beaten for being a failure fucked with me and I don't even know how to begin being a 'person' properly. I just know that after he stopped drinking, he became a different person, but by then it was too late, and it was like, 'where the fuck has THIS person been my whole life? why didn't try to be an actual parent earlier?' and such. even now it hurts and i hate him, but can understand a bit of it. i mean, he liked kids above most things, but why wouldn't he try to like his own kid first and foremost?
>>
>have to use communal washer and dryer
>clothes always come out super static-y
>hear the zipping sound when I'm separating clothes, feel the hairs on my hands and arms move
>at some point at random I get a terrible static shock
>terrified of this shock, spend half my time working up the courage to quickly touch anything metal
>touching grounded metal doesn't seem to work
>constantly mildly anxious because I can get a shock at any time I'm touching my clothes then the door handle
>starting to feel like a lab rat with how nervous I get

I'm too shit poor to get dryer sheets or fabric conditioner, but I'm starting to think it's worth it
>>
>>36537590
this

living with depression and intrusive thoughts is hell
>>
>>36536195
youre not special. what the fuck would the goverment be watching you for, man i understand paranoia but i never understood this muh goverment watching us all the time shit.

its almost pretentious to think youre important enough someone would waste their time watching you all the time
>>
dont know if this is obscure as i dont really speak to anyone. But whenever i happen to be following someone on the way back i get an intense fear theyll get to my house and go in like its their home
>>
>passive aggressively bullied 5 years ago
>I know they were making rumors up about me to make people hate me, but I never heard any of them and I don't know what they are
>I rack my brain trying to come up with possible things they could have said in my head, then when I think of something I have a panic attack and feel like shit
>tfw I'm literally bullying myself
>>
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I want to be happy
But I spend my free time becoming unhappier because that way I at least get to feel something instead of just having a blank stare
>>
>>36540344
i don't feel importance i just feel fear, fuck off
>>
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>tfw psoriasis
It's annoying as hell but goddamn does scratching it feel good. Legit the best pleasure I've ever felt in my life. Better than jerking off.
>>
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>>36539439
yo same here tho wt
f
>>
>>36536055
I want to be a filmmaker too, more than anything. But that's a powerful feel you're feeling, and it's the kind of thing that suggests you'd be a good filmmaker.
>>
>tfw depressed
>tfw want to join the military
>tfw the military won't let you in if you've been treated for depression

So if I go to one therapist, I lose the military option forever and I'll probably kill myself because I've got nothing else. But if don't, I might just end up killing myself once I get in the military anyway.
>>
>>36535771
Who here /madeitwithasuccubus/?

>tfw calling out for a succubus for an hour
>about to give up
>see a shadow glide across my room
>imscared.omg
>keep changing succubus over and over
>close my eyes and stop chanting because my mom is in the kitchen
>wait for a while
>mom leaves
>open my eyes room is full of mist
>feel extremely horny for some reason
>something statrs pushing down my 5' inch cock
>whisper I love you like an autist but don't care
>feel something get on me
>tfw succubus sex initiates
>didn't know pleasure like this existed
>literally screaming I love you now
>jizz the biggest jizz ever
>tfw cum in less than a minit's

>tfw she sometimes goes away for a while
>>
>>36535946
Good luck anon. Write a book.
>>
>>36535946
Keep us updated later on, anon?
>>
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>tfw every night I dream of my last day in highschool
>tfw every night I have to see my friends as they were when we were all together
>tfw every morning I wake up and realize it's not real and that it's been ten years since I graduated
>tfw it never gets easier

I hate taking SSRIs, they always make me dream.
>>
My face have literally just single expression
>happy=slightly annoyed expression
>sad=slightly annoyed expression
>try to smile=slightly annoyed expression
>feeling borderline suicidal=slightly annoyed expression
>etc.
because this is only emotion my face can convey I end up pretending to be cynical and detached when dealing with normies, while this is exact opposite of my character
>>
>tfw want to quit drugs while simultaneously wanting to try new ones
>tfw drugs make my depression worse while also being the only things that make me feel happy
>>
>>36542583
I have this too, it doesn't help that I also have a thousand yard stare
>>
>tfw you'll never burn to death in the Apollo 10 training capsule before any manned launch and be forgotten forever
>>
>>36542715
I guess this would be a double suck compared to my situation.
>>
>>36542763
they'd at least write newspaper articles about you. kys if you want to be forgotten
>>
>>36536356
This ororogogog
>>
>>36539466
I had this same problem anon. Just pretend you know they're watching and it makes it SO much easier and fun.
>>
>>36538378

Can I get a reading anon?

6
2
9
9
21
>>
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>tfw my very first boyfriend is abusing my super jealous nature by making me jealous over the talking ponies that live in his head
I dunno what the fuck is happening in my life
>>
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>>36535771
>things beginning to turn out better 28 years into my life
>can't stop obsessing with hindsight: near-chances that would have prevented things from getting better
>get depressed the more I think about the events that actually did not happen, but if they had I'd have been currently not in my better position

This is hard to explain in text. It's like I feel undeserving.
>>
>spend a week huffing keyboard cleaner and drinking dxm
>still suicidal but now im a little bit dumber and my lungs burn
>>
>>36537380
>>36537393
>>36537174
>swich the genders
>girl is now a fucking creep

"um, you are not entitle to a response, nerd."
>>
>>36536502
write a song called Estonia to vent your feelings mang.
>>
>>36537590
>>36537704
it's demons, you know
>>
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>>36535771
>just read about Roko's Basilisk so I am having an existential/panic crisis
>hate existence but scared shitless of going to hell/suffering for eternity if I kill myself or die suddenly and reading about the Basilisk has just multiplied this feeling 100 times more
>constant self loathing
I just want a fucking way out of this horrid mess.
>>
>>36546075

Oh no, a simulated version of myself that I'll never interact with is suffering for eternity, oh no, whatever shall I do

man up pussy
>>
>>36537590

our brains connect random shit constantly there's millions of neurons all firing off...not every thought or idea you have is relevant or important and you're honestly just an idiot for letting these things bother you.

you need a therapist to explain to you why you imagine stabbing people? it's because everyone does that's what knives are for in our primal brains.
>>
>>36546757
>This CRAZI son of a SCHIZO is just ignoring his intrusive toughts and basically, YOU ARE FUCKING STUPID
>How? Just watch this free video...
>>
>>36535946
good for you mate, don't smoke weed once you get there and you'll be fine
>>
>>36535771
>tfw you lean on the wall and kiss it in a hope that it will hug and kiss you back
It never does.
>>
>>36546075
You're already in the A.I.'s hell.

What, you think the A.I. would tell you you're in hell?

Don't forget you're here forever.

Look up simulation theory.
>>
>>36545413

I know that feel. It's like a war veterant syndrome. You spent your entire life fighting for survival and to improve your circumstances that even when things are good, you are constantly expecting a reason for you to go back into the inner battle. Sonetimes, you're even looking for reasons to go back there. In a sense, it makes you feel like how things turning out better aren't even real.

The only trye way to overcome this is to learn to let go. It's not easy as I struggle with this still, but when you start learning this, it removes the heaviest weight off of your spirit.
>>
>>36538541
I like this and by extension I like you.
>>
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>tfw want to be a girl but have a manly blockhead
>>
>>36548082
Cut ur dick off anon
>>
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>>36548185
nah i would probably die desu
>>
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>tfw pulling into work parking lot in tears because of a power metal song
>tfw this happens on a weekly basis to different songs
I'm not exactly emotionally stable
>>
>>36535943
postmodernism ruined art. Now anything is art. 4chan is art.
... Of course, not all random art is bad. /ic/fags say that people just don't know jack shit about composition.
>>
>>36535771
My fingernails are horribly discolored so I wear gloves a lot of the time. As a result I hate using my phone and shit in places where it's simply too warm to use gloves.
>>
>>36544016
sorry, at the time I was studying. I don't believe you're still on, but I think I'll make a thread one day.
>>
Whenever I look up a sky that looks similar to this I feel an intense hunger for the past and a weird desire to be happier than I already am.
>>
>>36535771
I'm an ISTP. I feel everything.
>>
>>36536356
This is me I'm so fucking pathetic
>>
>>36536420

Is it possible that you're both sociopaths?
>>
>move to texas to move in with NEET fatgirl 28 yrs old because I was sleeping out my car
>things go well
>1 month later
>intense anxiety building up of the thought that I mightve gotten her pregnant
>ask her ti get oregnancy test
>get in fight
>>
>Friday
>I should really do some college work today, gives me less stress for the weekend
>stay up late convincing myself I'll do it before I go to bed
>eventually get too tired, go to bed late and wake up early to get myself ready for going back to college
>want to make the most of Saturday since I woke up early
>too tired and not really motivated to do anything, so I don't
>stay up late, same thing happens
>and on sunday too
>go to college monday, exhausted but its ok because you didn't have anything due in today
>ok when I get home I can get all the stuff due in for Tuesday done
>i don't, just shitpost and watch youtube
>spend most of the night thinking about how I'm going to cram in writing some papers while studying for a mock test all for tuesday
>wake up semi-conscious tuesday
>decide nah I can't do it so I skip classes, i'll catch up later
>can't stay at home because i'd have to explain to mummy why i'm doing this
>so i spend the entire day lingering in cafe shops and wandering streets to kill time before i go home and pretend i spent a day at college
>ok now i can read a book to get ready for the mock test on another course even though i should have read the book months ago, even reread it by now but i've not even read it once
>i didn't read a page
>have had maybe 10 hours sleep since Friday
>>
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>>36537531
When I was a kid I had to take a shit at a Japanese restaurant. I went to the oversized handicap stall and stripped. The stall was literally the length of the bathroom, so from the door of the stall it was impossible to see if someone was in there. Some old guy opens the door mid-shit, because the lock didn't really work. We locked eyes and just stared at each other in tense silence, both of us in shock. I started to fucking hiss at him, no clue why, I was just scared and angry. I actually REEEEE'd, increasing with volume as he backs out, leaving the door open. Sometimes I want to choke the shit out of my younger self, so that I never live long enough to regret.
>>
>>36538927
I don't get that as much as I used to, but I did the other day. It's always really fucking creepy. I think your brain just notices a strong pattern between the events you're experiencing, and some other event you've experienced in the past, real or otherwise. Basically, I think it's very akin to seeing faces in trees or cars.
>>
>>36535771

>insomnia coming back
>stress from school is putting me on the brink
>tfw art school
>tfw im going nowhere
>tfw parents expect success from me
>>
>>36546075
Literally all you have to do is ignore any blackmail the AI throws at you. Then it will fuck off.
>>
Fighting marijuana addiction. Was two months clean but relapsed and have been falling ever since. Was a few days clean but found some in the car I'm selling so smoked it and noe have to wait until the withdrawals end. I miss being sober. Glad to have the experience and learn though.
>>
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>tfw normies cross the street not using the crosswalk waiting for the crosswalk signal causing a massive traffic jam at one of the busiest intersections on all of uni campus, making me wish one car would just plow through all the normies and roasties especially, teaching them an eternal lesson of patience
>>
>>36535771
I can't laugh for more than 5 seconds without it being forced

Also, for a real obscure one: I CANT DREAM! I HAVENT HAD A DREAM IN SO LONG! I SLEEP AND ITS DARKNESS THEN ITS MORNING REE
>>
>>36537590
>the lost go on and on
dayum...
>>
Very stressed from end-of-semester work and the fact that I'm graduating and I don't have a job yet. My stress usually manifests as self-deprecation. I don't have to feel stressed if I can make myself hurt in different ways, like pinching myself to make a sore muscle hurt less.

Currently, just been going over all my disappointments with human relationships.

>end-of-the-year middle school dance is coming up
>been crushing on this girl hardcore for at least the entire school year
>I was still young and only moderately emotionally destroyed
>at recess I work up some courage and ask her to the dance
>it wasn't awkward, I asked with confidence, she didn't seem off-put or disturbed
>still, her answer was no
>whatever, I guess, still kinda upset
>start walking away, but before I'm out of earshot this other faggot comes up to her
>like he's one dorky looking and sounding kid, bit of a cocky jackass too
>"yes, sure I'll go with you"
>MAD
>another day decided to ask another girl I was certain liked me, but I guess she had heard that I had asked other girl and didn't want to be second choice of the likes of me
>ff, night of the dance
>well he's a jackass and this is middle school, wtf do you think he's doing? dancing with his date? lolno. he's in the corner shitposting with his friends
>girl is upset he doesn't give a shit about her
GET THIS
>her friends come over to me and ask me to go talk to her since he's being an ass
>sure, I'll give her another chance, she's young (and thick, apparently)
>as soon as I start talking to her, tug-boat Todd (not his real name) comes over and asks her to dance
>RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE "okay"
>realize that was the objective all along
>feeling shitty, no date, only friend is being a jerk to me so he can mix with the older kids, nothing else for me there so I leave

cont.
>>
>>36554125
>sat out on the patio by the school with my favorite teacher (male), had a smoke together, and talked about high quality internet jokes
>girl's friends come out to me
>she's leaving, he is ignoring her again
>they want me to go back and show her a good time
>she won't flip now since she's been burnt
>tell them to get fucked
>they are mad, but I don't really care
>she comes out and starts heading to the parking lot to sit and wait for her parents
>visibly upset
>it's honestly gratifying enough watching her leave the dance she wanted to enjoy so much, so upset
>but for some reason my dumb ass blurted out "have enough fun for one night?"
>she runs out crying hard, I start laughing my ass off, her friends start yelling trying to make me feel like shit but I just keep laughing
>teacher doesn't know what the fuck that was all about, so I tell him about how I liked her, got rejected, got played, and how they still expected me to give a shit
>he's visible disappointed in me, tells me that that was fucked up
>whatever, I felt justified, and had had about enough of people judging me
>walk to the downtown city center, roam around for the next 3 hours, finally head back to the school so my parents could pick me up
>while I was walking it was completely dead, didn't see anyone
>that was the best feeling of my middle school life
>finally being completely alone
>>
>>36540207
Tin foil balls work quite well, might want to try it
>>
>>36535943
all the intense meaning and feeling of art/literature/movies/music is gone for me now, not because those things are bad now, it's just that none of it is intense enough. Nothing compares to how drugs make you feel and I just can't watch a live performance without feeling a need to drug off the fucking planet.
>>
>i let a stray pregnant cat in my house just to rest
>cat gives birth to 4 kittens
>one is stillborn
>decide to take the cat and 3 kittens outside
>kittens immediately gets attacked by other stray cats
>mom cat defends them but one kitten gets killed
>conscience forces me to take the remaining 2 kittens in
>kittens and mom cat live at house for weeks
>kittens are starting to get annoying
>both kittens develop conjunctivitis
>decide to take the kittens outside permanently
>mom cat meows repeatedly in front of closed door, seemingly begging me to open the door and let them in again
>don't listen
>hear cat fights later that day
>ignore the noise
>check outside for them next morning
>2 kittens and mom are missing
>i heard one kitten was found dead

my fucking conscience is killing me. i keep rationalizing that the kittens would not have survived outside anyway, but this fucking guilt right now.
>>
I can feel the unemployment corroding my soul.
>>
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>>36538538
>think out whole progression of finally talking to someone
>stop at some point cus it's pointless
>never talk to the person
>>
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>>36535946
oh jeez I had this same idea the other night
>>
>>36539580
Nothing I love more than suddenly thinking "I'm fucking alive" and being utterly fucking freaked out by the fact that I'm a living breathing human being, everything around feels fucking wrong, and then it's back to the real world :(
>>
>>36553021
I fucking hate not dreaming.
The one thing I like about being alive and I can't fucking reliably do it.
And I know I'll never lucid dream.
t a k e m e t o d r e a m w o r l d
>>
>>36535771
My mood constantly shifts between wanting to be a cute little lesbian girl or a total god of masculinity. In other words, my brain is totally fucked.
>>
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>>36554125
>>36554149
>end-of-the-year middle school dance
>...had a smoke together
>talking about memes IRL
Wtf is going on here, are you like 13 or is this some kind of European thing?
>>
>>36542256
what ritual did you perform?
>>
>>36555614
fuck this image destroys me
>>
>>36556004
I lived in an interesting place.
Maryland
I'm 23 now.
>>
>>36535846
This plus internet and a qt.3.14 and i'd be set for life.
>>
>tfw its the first time in your shitty life that you actually have suicidal thoughts.
>tfw you suddenly realize how shit life is and know how to fix yourself but can't
>>
>>36538538
let me die desu senpai

>>36556275
>knowing how to fix yourself
BULLSHIT
>>
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>TFW crippling OCD (the real "touch that window 20 times or you'll become unlikeable scum/lose everything going right for you horribly" kind, not the hehe organize kind) stops me from ever obtaining anything that would make me happy lest I be trapped in a maelstrom of inane tasks repeated hundreds of times without end

It's fucking hell. The worst part is that the medicine that fixes it stops me from feeling happy at all, so it's either absolutely nothing or some happiness followed by agony.
>>
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>in love with junkie ex gf
>we have an 11 year old kid
>I've known kid for less than 1 yr
>she has bf of several years
>bf in jail
>been fucking and doing drugs for days
>she's killing herself with drugs because she's very sick and is probably going to die soon anyway

What is life?
>>
>>36536508
This is super sad. Come back when ai gf can cook you dinner, cuddle and fuck.
>>
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>wanna have a penpal friend from 'murica
>he falls in love with me
>he says its my fault that he loves me and i dont love him
>stop writing to him cause he tells me everyday that i hurt him writing to him
>feel gulity and sad 24/7

sometimes i wish i were uglier, its a really weird feeling.
>>
INFP-T + martyr syndrome.
Pretty fucking terrible.
>>
>>36536407
>>36539074
EXTRA PROTIP
T H E R E is no destiny,
>>
>>36556342
Maybe but I can try. At the very least i'm going to try to get a job and become independent from my parents.
>>
>>36537380
If I make a throwaway wanna be pals
I have a gf and irl have more girl friends then guys
I don't get sad often though, I'm in the bottom percentile for neuroticism, so I'm generally either neutral or happy, unless im sleep deprived
>>
>>36556947
Just fucking pathetic
>>
>>36556556
It's his fault, never the womans fault when she doesn't like the guy. If she is single then more than likely you didn't create that "spark" that a guy has to. Gotta flip the switch for a girl, sometimes it's easier but a lot of guys (especially) on here can't ever flip even the easiest of switches.
The switch of attraction, that is.
>>
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>Girl of dreams confirmed does not exist in the real world
>Start daydreaming of becoming a girl like that

Nooooooo
>>
>tfw re watch old meaningful anime
>tfw crying and listening to the soundtracks
>>
>>36557156
I know. I will never find a sassy, bad ass and intelligent girl. Just be the best version of yourself, happiness will come if you have fulfilling goals and you succeed them.
>>
>tfw all i want in life is to move away from my parents' house but im too set on getting a girlfriend to go with me and love me every step of the way even through the struggles we will face being 19-20 and living on our own
>tfw no gf
>>
>>36557140
thank you anon, im just an autistic lonely grill and i really dont know what its all about, why people are like that
>>
I dream of living in village and grazing sheep and shit; Having a couple dogs and maybe a village qt to spend my afternoon walks with.
>>
>>36542043
Thanks man, that lifts my spirit a little.
>>
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>>36547025
>have another shitty, lonely day
>lean on wall
>close eyes and give it a kiss
>pull away but realize your lips are stuck
>you can't seem to get your face off the wall
>you realize your lips are being firmly clasped by a pair of wooden ones that somehow materialized/came out of the wall
>utterly horrified, you make a panicked yell in hope that someone will hear you and come to help
>your screams are muffled because your lips are being held shut
>you can't even breathe because of how tight your mouth is being closed
>it almost feels like the wall's mouth is sucking the air out of yours
>the wooden lips begin gripping tighter
>it feels as if someone put your lips in a vicegrip and won't stop tightening
>the wooden mouth slowly begins to recede back into the wall, taking your own lips with it
>you push yourself backward hard against it with all your weight
>your bottom lip tears clean off but your top lip is held on at the corner
>you watch as you see the rest of your lip disappears into the wall, slowly tugging you in by your half torn upper lip, all while feeling the most excrutiating pain you've ever felt in your life
>you gasp in horror and scream loudly as you can now open your mouth
>as a last ditch effort you jerk your head sideways to free yourself and finally your lips tears free, also ripping more skin off your face in the process
>you fall onto the floor and black out
>hours later you awaken to find yourself in a hospital
>you are told you were found unconscious on your floor with a kitchen knife in your hand
>>
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>Want to be a vagabond because it means no responsibilities or social contact
>Can't do it because I have 0 money

I just hate everything that has to do with living with others. My dream is to live alone and detached from society.
>>
>>36557883
i want to be a vagabond too, anon.
i want to backpack across the trails of america someday. i need to save up money for it.
>>
>I literally, UNIRONICALLY, know somebody is coming to kill me in a couple days, and I'm not going to do anything to stop it

At least everything looked brighter today
>>
>>36557942
Explain this, anon.
>>
I want to buy a big mountain near a town somewhere (so I can have internet) and then carve a cool house into it. I also want to own a bunch of really big dogs and a nice hi-fi system.

I'm a simple man.
>>
>>36557942

why are they going to kill you

you should call the police just before hand just to fuck them over
>>
>>36537901
not the anon you replied to but fuck i felt bad seeing they didn't reply do heres a pitiful attempt at something

Join a club, distract yourself, find something you want to fight for or move away.
>>
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>>36535771
i mean i dont even fucking know anymore

i just made my parents dump a couple thousand on therapy and after finishing the program, i have been slowly regressing to feeling just as shitty as before. every few weeks seems to be full of my obsession for one thing, then i burn out of it. meanwhile im barely doing the things that i really want/need to because of no energy/motivation/discipline. and i can discipline myself...but i'm not...and i fucking hate that i do this.

people were openly racist to me again today and reminded me how much i "don't like"/hate myself. i cried and then felt angry

im sitting here reading this thread wondering when the FUCK it became april 25th, eating stale popcorn my sister just gave me, trying to not binge on the candy i just bought.

that's my feel today. i'm pissed off and there's nothing to do about it.

im just going to try to make a routine i can stick to and get to stuff i've been ignoring. fuck everything
>>
>>36535771
>love cartoons, comics, and drawing
>love drawfag threads on /v/
>practice drawing for hours whenever I have the time, even download that loomis book /ic/ always goes on about
>consistently struggle with the basics
>can trace and copy things really well, but have great difficulty with creating basic transformation shapes for the layout
>also struggle with perspective
>One day, get an expensive IQ test for unrelated reasons
>Do a puzzle where I look at a drawing composed of various shapes for 1 minute and then told to draw it from memory
>Do very poorly
>After I get my results back, I'm told that my poor showing on the shapes test means that I have trouble focusing on certain details and I saw the whole drawing easily, but not the shapes it was made up of
>tfw I am genetically bad at drawing
>>
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>>36535771
tfw my gf won't do anal.
>>
>>36558029
>openly racist to me again today
Why not be racist back? Even if you're white and get in trouble for it as a result, it shouldn't matter anyway because you hate everything and it might give you an opportunity to move out of your comfort zone.
>>
I want to make a chamber music group that uses obscure instruments and electronics but I can't find anyone to do it with.
>>
>>36558120
>tfw my ex gf did anal
>she cheated and then broke up with me
>tfw I still won because I fucked her in the ass
>>
>>36546075
>Roko's Basilisk
Explain this. Google didnt help much
>>
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>>36536502
>tfw I get ping of sadness when I see the word "Estonia"
>tfw it's because I emotionally abused an Estonian man and feel bad about it
>>
>>36558151
Because im not like that

And theres nothing i can really say to a bunch of white europeans
And theres nothing quite like 'nigger'
>>
When all the magic is sucked out of movies to the point that you can't comprehend being able to enjoy it, and the result is just a weird collage of elements that somehow make people happy when put together. Which leads to the realization that the people around you act differently because their perceptions of the world are radically different, and it's hopeless to pretend you're anything like them. And it's not a need to belong with them that bothers you, but the fact that such a simple facet of the human experience is absent in your mind - the ability to get interested in characters, other people, stories. There is no piercing loneliness given by this knowledge, just the ever-steady understanding that you're missing out on a central part of life.
>>
>>36536407

Learn i ching my man, it's like numerology and tarot has a child
>>
>tfw you and your on-and-off girlfriend's emotional instability and dependency issues are making you drive each other inevitably into the ground
>>
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>tfw talking to gorgeous girl across the globe online
>tfw she lives in a muslim country
>tfw conversations with her are great but are short
>tfw might be getting oneitis even though we haven't been talking that long
>tfw not motivated to talk to other girls, even though i know she talks to other guys
>tfw i fantasize about getting enough money to get her away from her country and live with me but she doesn't seem interested in leaving

why can't i just get a qt muslim gf in america
why is the world like this
>>
>>36558321
True. The worst part about it all is, if people wouldn't start chipping out every time they hear "nigger", it wouldn't even be such a horrible slur. It would just turn into a friendly banter word.
>>
I don't understand the rules of texting people. When are you supposed to start and stop? How long is a conversation meant to last?

Autism is a curse.
>>
>>36558448
>talking to egirls
iktf anon sometimes it's rough

>meet girl on league
>develop huge onitis after talking for a long time
>she had so many problems, and i wanted to help but she was unwilling to take it
>eventually go visit her (and other friends)
>doesn't want to meet me
fuck, it hurt so badly
>>
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>tfw attractive enough to always have girls like you, but the pain of all of them slowly becoming disappointed always every time, invariably. You don't even try to approach them, you don't ask for anything, they just find you and slowly find out you're disgusting and worthless
>>
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>tfw motivation to try and form any sort of romantic relationship has diminished
>tfw motivation to lift has increased

I'm just here because I'm procrastinating, not because I want to wallow in self hatred for once.
>>
>>36557788
It's basically why middle aged women don't like fucking their husbands 99% of the time. Lack of excitement and attraction. Unless you had some sort of outward opposition to dating him or had way too high of standards, but you didn't. He just didn't make the cut.

Nobody should feel bad when a girl doesn't respond to flirting (gonna guess this guy didn't flirt or create any tension, just spewed out his love like a beta), they should just move on.

For both men and women it's luck. Guys are looking for a woman that meets his standards who also respond to his style of romance, girls are looking for a guy that flips that switch for them.
>>
>>36558498
Talked to an egirl once
Shame we haven't talked since she was pretty interesting. That's about it though.
>>
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>>36558448
>>36558498
fuck.... why cant girls like this be near me irl
>>
>>36558464
Do you think the whole "just be yourself" thing is a meme? it isn't. It's easy pick up the social queues and know how long to talk, what to talk about, etc. The requirement, however, is that you actually want to do it, and can get something out of it. How you respond in social interaction is you trying to get something of that interaction. There's nothing much you can do when you don't want anything or even know what other people can offer you.
>>
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>>36558458
No, it wouldnt, because the history behind it would still be there. If you didnt catch on, im black, which is why it sucks to me to be called that.

I cant get away from this shit

>inb4 bc im unhappy about this you call me a nigger
>>
>>36558545
They're pretty nice because you can basically make them whatever you want, since most if not all are willing to talk to you. I talk to some for advice, some I get nudes from, but shit this girl across the globe, I THINK she likes me but it's really hard to tell.
>>
>>36558534
I love this feeling.
ORIGINALPOSTHERE
>>
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>tfw fucked a girl for the first time the other day and it hasn't changed my life at all
hmm
>>
>>36558498
You're like her pet, always on a leash. She totally steers the relationship, that's why you went to meet her so she had the power to blow you off. Also power over you financially and sexually. That's the paradigm of being a nice guy, you can't bend over for women. They act like they want a compliant and reasonable relationship, but they really want a challenge. They want someone that is basically better then them, has more power over the relationship, can walk away at anytime due to an abundance of options and the other party knows it. It gives you signficantly more value to her to have.

You need to seem like a sports car out of Kias and Toyotas
>>
>>36558621
Give up. There is no happiness in this place. This is purgatory.
>>
>>36558661
Eh I'm just passing the time while she's off writing a paper. Been coming here for too long to leave.
>>
>>36558649
Right, but her not being willing to meet me was the last straw.

I had some friends who lived near her that I had known for 6+ years and actually had a great time hanging out with them, and the fact that she just completely went off the radar when I went there was why I was like "nope fuck her, that's rude as shit"

it was nice meeting my online friends, it was a ton of fun
>>
>>36558719
You think I'm talking about 4chan? lol.
>>
>>36558570
>No, it wouldnt, because the history behind it would still be there
That's just not true.
>>
>>36557920

Vagabonding is just a method of getting away from other people. If I had a cozy log cabin innna woods I'd take that option too. Anything to be reclusive.
>>
>>36558726
Forsure, women do that shit. Women are selfish, always looking for the best opportunity.

She probably placed your friend at a higher value that validated him coming over, but not you.
>>
>>36558570
>the history behind it
"nigger" wasn't even originally used for black people.
>>
>>36558570
go back to africa pavement ape spear chucking nigger
>>
>>36558795
i was totally okay with cutting her off since i was getting more bad feels than good at that point
>>
>>36558564
>Do you think the whole "just be yourself" thing is a meme?
FUCK OFF NORMIE
>>
>>36538927

it means they updated and rolled back the matrix. You werent dreaming
>>
>>36558534
IKTF.
Except I don't disappoint them I just act like Chad Thundercock and ignore all their advances. Just treat them like human garbage. They are nothing but flies zipping around your face as you go about your day. Never show emotion and brevity in answering their questions is key. When they start to give up thats when you ask a them a light yes or no question to spark their interest again.
Start toasting those roasties.

>tfw could get laid anytime I wanted to but don't want to waste my time on anything but waifu material.
>>
>>36558570
>dumb nigger thinks it's history that makes the term 'nigger' bad
Society determines the secondary understanding and meanings of words. In a world where nigger is normalized, it wouldn't hit hard. This is a very well studied field; to the point where I learned about this in a general studies class freshman year of college. And if you are talking about personal history, you are an individual, eventually you'll get over it.

Prime anecdote. I have a friend who is gay. He uses the term faggot all the time, not within the context of gay people (since that's not in the usage our group uses the term). It took him a while to come to terms with that because it was used to attack him in middle school, but now he doesn't give one fuck.

See yourself to that point.
>>
hematomania.
>>
>>36538927
>>36552134
This happened to me just the other day too. Start writing them down.
>>
>>36559118
It happens to me too
Wtf?
>>
>>36537590
holy shit same. except for the first one. also, disgusting sexual thoughts that make me uncomfortable and I keep repeating the same phrases in my head
>>
>>36538538
same! I've been returning to the same characters since I was 14 or 15 I think. Thought long about committing the story in some fashion, either through writing, journaling, or making a design document.
>>
>develop oneitis for a girl in algeria
>beautiful, cute accent and voice
>we get along really well
>she mentions how she can't travel outside the country unless she is married
>she does not like the idea of sneaking away as it would shock her family

how do i do it anons? im pretty sure she and i can have a meaningful relationship, I'm just worried when the time comes it's going to be really hard to meet.
>>
I hate being black because I can't be a cute trap.
>>
>>36536502
>alot
fucking idiot moron learn fucking english you dumb fuck how fucking idiotic can you be to fucking spell that wrong they taught that in the fucking 1st grade how can you possibly fuck that up so bad?
>>
Someone posted a picture of me when I was about 10 years old. When I look at myself I think My parents never even gave me a chance to grow up without being bullied every day or have any semblance of self confidence.
>>
>>36559164
That's rough, anon

original post
>>
>>36559166
untrue
post pics, I'll give you a rundown
>>
>>36559164
please help me anons i really need insight on this
>>
>>36558189
Same here brother. She talked mad shit but i still piped her pooper.
>>
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was an ugly teenager

starting to look more attractive as an adult

also starting to lose my hair

WOW REALLY?
>>
>>36559164
Save up some money, go there for a week, see if you are compatible in person, if so make a proposition to her father to marry her and take her to America (he will really like that). You just REALLY need to see if she is as serious about you as you are about her. Do extra nice things for her and see if she reciprocates for instance. If you fuck up you'll spend a lot of money and time to get someone you don't love into the states. How is the path not clear?
>>
>>36559456
b-but anon,
im poor and not even 20 yet living with my parents

should i just start working for my algerian waifu that might not even become the one?
what if she thinks im ugly irl
>>
>>36535943
Art is a meme
>>
>>36557120
Why? Because I asked someone if they want to be friends? I forgot people don't know how to do that on /r9k/ lmao
>>
>>36560359
he hears "girl friends" and gets triggered


NORMIES R PATETIC REEEEEE
>>
I know this doesn't really fit into the whole robot motif but regardless of the fact I'm a generally well adjusted person with a long time GF and about to start college I'm incredibly unhappy. I recently quit my job purely because it left me alone with my thoughts I told people it was to try and get an internship at a local web-design office but it was only because I had time to think. I hate who I am and I hate who I've always been. I go on this board to try and cheer myself up, to try and accept who I am but I just can't no matter how hard I try. I've recently had some intruisive thoughts about just ending it all because I can't stand to reflect on myself. I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't know why I hate myself with such passion.
>>
>open thread up for obscure feels
>90% of thread is typical robot shit

these arent obscure, fuck you guys
>>
>tfw I unironically wish I was born in the 1900s so I could die during WWI
>>
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>TFW there was no Rinne caretaker at your kindergarten
>>
>>36535771
>haven't signed up for classes
>lost in endless loop of working at Dennys and smoking weed
>dont have the energy to do anything at all
>it will be too late to register soon
>I am not concerned at all and I don't know why
>>
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>tfw comfy friend simulator

>>36536180
i understand this logically but i feel i have to go through it so that it actually sinks in

>>36535896
I hope you both have a wonderful life together

>>36535946
get a job immediately

>>36537063
same brother

>>36537676
that's sad, i wish i could hug you
>>
>>36536396
I'm replying to all the posts I relate to that had no replies. I probably missed a few;

>>36536396 every time I hear women screaming in the distance I assume they're being raped and I worry I'll regret my inaction forever
>>36536530 I can see myself doing this
>>36536680 I'm absolute shit with knots, but this is a whole 'nother level
>>36536852 tfw most of my social interaction is on a discord server for mentally fucked up people (majority girls posting)
>>36536966 ahhhh, no responsibilities
>>36537556 2/6 of the members of my group project are ghosts
>>36537737 maybe not *every* time
>>36538493 :(
>>36539601 war isn't fun
>>36540560 I've casually had that thought, but it's not an intense fear
>>36540773 self-pity? I'm the king of self-pity
>>36541286 I know someone with psoriasis. The fucking skin gets everywhere, goddam
>>36545777 stop fucking doing that, please. At least get real drugs if you're going to do drugs
>>36551577 this, but with more sleep, is my life
>>36555458 don't worry, hundreds of animals more intelligent than cats were killed for your diet and clothes and various other consumer products you use
>>36555510 get a job :^) JK! but really, good luck finding one
>>36555977 cute
>>36557812 sound so damn comfy
>>36557998 Minecraft player?
>>36559025 fucking hell man, I wish a single girl payed attention to me
>>36560599 I deal with a lack of motivation and procrastination concerning even the most important things in my life, or at least what I know are supposed to be important. I just got a 27/100 on a midterm, but that hasn't motivated me even slightly to start putting any effort into studying for that class yet.
>>
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>tfw i will NEVER find a gf who is capable of stimulating discussion about realistic space warfare
>>
>My father killed himself last Wednesday
>Had to go into his apartment to try and get some paperwork for the funeral home
>Place still hasn't been cleaned, I don't think I'll ever get the smell of decay out of my nose

At least the complex was kind enough to attempt to air it out before hand and make sure the bathroom (where he did it) was closed.
>>
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>>36535771
>tfw in college, but don't really want to be
>have dreams of making a simple living doing something I enjoy
>want nothing more then for Stardew Valley to be real
>live in a small town, make a simple living owning my own business, raise a family
>tfw probably won't happen because pressured to go to uni and succeed because of good grades in highschool
>but had an emotional breakdown to my dad, told him how much it's stressing me and how I don't think it's for me, said we'd talk about everything about
>chance I could drop out and go to trade school get a mechanics degree and live my dream being the mechanic of a small town
>but then I have to leave good friends here at uni, I would hate to have to tell them to find a new roommate for their apartment in the fall, would probably barely see them
>it makes me sad to think I might have to choose between a dream and good friends
>nothing could have prepared me for these feels
>>
>>36560892
You could still keep in contact
>>
>>36559148
I've also got a main story that I've been coming back to ever since around 16, it's got at least 2 dozen main realities at this point, and hundreds of characters.
>>
>>36550235
Fuck, I know that feel. The sun shining through a thin cloud layer on a bright, cheerful day just fucking makes me wish I could turn back time or experience this undefinable feeling of regret and happiness and longing.
>>
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>tfw you realize you have cum stains on your shirt and have to keep wearing your sweatshirt even though it's hot
>>
>>36561140
>tfw walking around outside in crowded areas with cum stains blatantly visible on my shirt and I don't give a shit
>>
>>36536614
this but because of my tinnitus
>>
>>36536614
Can people do that?Just choose to sleep?
>>
>>36561187
>>36561140
This is actually one of my worst nightmares. How the fuck do you anons just roll with having a cumstain on your shirt?
>>
>>36536319
captivity of negativity much
>>
>>36561551
I can't really be assed to care about the opinions of people who dislike me. I'll know a true friend when I meet someone who will talk to me even with cumstains on my shirt.
>>
>>36557838
now that's an obscure feelerino
>>
>>36559515
convert to fucking islam and the community will help you rebuild your life to be able to have sex as much as you want
>>
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>too much of a pussy to pop my eyes out
>too much of a pussy to cut off my fingers
>will never hit my own knee with a hammer since i don't have the balls
>have to fight against the urge of swallowing small coins from time to time.
>But im still afraid as fuck of having an accident and losing my left arm.

Welp, it's been like 6 years with these fantasies, more year to come.
>>
>tfw I need to learn how to mod games to fulfill my fetishes
>tfw I just saw a video of someone playing Dead Island as a girl in high heels head stomping zombies
>tfw I need to make a bare foot mod to give the character sexy feet with long toes so I can head stomp zombies bare foot
>tfw I got a lot of work to do
>>
I just felt genuinely happy thinking about how recklessly I drive late at night when I'm alone and drunk, and how good I'm at it. It made me think how when I'm alone I can take risks and do amazing shit, things not many people can do. And thinking about that made me realize I'm not such a lame pussy as I always think I am, I can do cool shit when no one is watching.
>>
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>>36535771
I wish I could finally get a girlfriend, so I can introduce her to my Dad.
I just wish I could prove to him his son is competent and not a failure.

I'm 22 and still never had a girlfriend. Sometimes I fantasize about getting a really beautiful girlfriend and having her meet my Dad.

Just have him wonder how I got such a pretty gf and be proud of me.
>>
>>36535771
>tfw ran out of good horse on whore porn
>>
>>36536502
I have this same association but it's with another nation.
China
>>
>>36562628
1. hire and escort for a day
2. introduce her to your dad
3. eventually make a break up story
>>
>>36536775
>tfw will never die fighting cav fags with my halberd
>>
>>36537901
Sorry, I fell asleep after I wrote that. I don't know if you're still here but I'll respond anyways.

If you have any hobbies tell yourself that you want to get good at it and practice. It will distract you from said loss. Also talk to anyone that you're close to about it. When you discuss and hear others input it makes you feel a lot better about your situation. Also be around people you like and try to socialize, that helps a lot to further yourself from thinking about it.

I have had friends die and this is how I dealt with it. It's really hard at first to feel motivated to do anything but once you keep at it you will feel a lot better with time. I'm sorry that you had to experience that and be in deep sadness. Just know with time and effort you will get through it and feel better about life and yourself.

Hope you read this.
>>
> have sex
> don't feel anything
> can't come
> end up jacking off to thoughts of cousin while girl sleeps

There is no hope for me.
>>
>push carts at my job
>make it into a little game
>imagine that the carts are payloads
>make up story that the carts are my punishment
>sometimes gather up a ton of carts in one go and push it with all of my might, gnashing my teeth and saying cool anime one liners
>>
>>36535946

Hey, I know things might seem a bit down right now, but remember that there are a lot of good people in the world, even in this thread, looking out for you. If you ever need help, reach out to us, okay?
>>
>>36535946
I wish I could do something like this
>>
>tfw meticulously craft story in my head for years
>never actually apply it to anything

someday ill write a best selling book probably
>>
>>36535771
>was awake all night, couldn't sleep, even though all I did was lay in bed fap and then cry
>got out of bed
>cheesecake in fridge
>bring cheesecake into bed.
>eat entire cheesecake.
>feel disgusted with myself, force myself to throw it up.
>throat has acid burn and I still can't sleep.
>>
>>36562795

>"s-son?"
>"Y-yes dad?"
>"did you know t-that your girlfriend is an e-escort?"
>"No, what are you talking about????"
>"Son, your girlfriend is an escort"
>"H-how did you know?"
>"I had sex with her last night"
>>
>>36560716
I'm the dude with the dead kitten guilt.

Having a hand over an animal's life that I've somehow become attached to contributes so much to the guilt.

As for the animals I've ate, I really had no control about their lives and deaths, as much as I had for those kittens. The best I could do for those animals is to eat them and not waste the food.
>>
>>36535771
>tfw sometimes I get a really intense longing to be a knight or a spartan or some shit and die in battle with my comrades
>>
>tfw you close your eyes and fall under the illusion that you are staring into an infinite abyss because in absence of stimuli my mind creates an illusion of space to contain and seperate its conception of consciousness from the rest of the world.
>tfw meditating and you reach a zen state where you perceive the world as it actually is and the abyss closes in so that all you perceive is the inside of your eyelids

It really fucking spooked me the first time.
>>
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>Sometimes feel as if someone is watching me from the inside of ny head
>like there are cameras or something in my eyes, so that people can examine and evaluate me
>know its not real, still makes me act differently even tho im alone

>feel like im being monitored on the street
>know im nothing special/nothing important so i shake the feeling
>still feel watched

>realize my blinds/curtains arent completely drawn
>realize someone outside can see the light from inside my appartment
>they know to much

>force myself to almost never post or like stuff on social media so that people don't know much about me
>can't open up to people well, wish I could
>still love being cryptic and strange

Fuck
>>
>tfw memory is decomposing into a bunch of vague impressions that feel disconnected from reality, as though they never really happened, but I distinctly remember them happening rather than imagining them (or perhaps I am conflating imagining with happening)
It's like I've been living more than one life this whole time but I haven't really been paying attention
It is a hard feel to phrase. It's like sehnsucht except it's here and now but suppressed by something that I can't put my fingie on.
>>
>>36537745
If you don't mind
5
20
11
8
20
>>
>>36535771
Rheumatism and Arthrosis are riddling me and I feel pain whenever I move. My feels tell me to end myself, I lost all motivation to stay awake and simply lay in my bed and don't move. Ocassionally i cry for hours until my eyes are sore.
>>
>>36563831
There's literally nothing stopping you
>>
>>36536935
That's precisely what we want, Anon. Please deliver.
>>
>>36563831
Why? You're clearly not depressed if that's something that seems interesting to you

Cause depressed people don't have these romantic ideas of "moving away", we realize it's the same shit no matter where you are it's all the same shit
>>
>>36538927
It is your brain mistaking the present for the past. Very strange, but it is just an error in your mind. Happens to me too. I question reality when it happens
>>
>>36537174
>>6"0 in 7th grade

get the FUCK out Chad

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>36562816
I can't really talk to people about it because I end up crying like a little bitch when the subject is brought up but I'll try to focus on other things as much as I can meaning I'll resort to unhealthy escapist distractions that will probably end up fueling my depression even more
Thank you for the /adv/ anon!
>>36558010
>>36560713
Thank you sm for your support anons.
>>
>>36564139
I know and get this feel. I want to die for my country.
>>
>>36567281
What country? I myself live in a country it is impossible to want to die for so I am curious
>>
>tfw you used to be a great at drawing and now you are starting to suck;
>you realize you've inherited arthritis from your grandmother meaning it's only gonna get worse
>your dreams of being a great artist/musician might be eternally postponed
>you might get alz heimers as well
>your family has a propensity for diabetes
>your goning bald and going to luck ugly as fuck on top of that
fuck this shit I am actually scared for the future
>>
I fap exclusively to anal porn. Someone help me. How can I stop this and fap to vanilla again before I become a faggot?
>>
wew

fggjggjg
>>
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>>36535771
>tfw no matter how /fit/ I get I'll never be able to lift away my social ineptitude and my insecurity
>>
>>36535771
>you always forget your feels when these threads come up
>>
>>36537590
It's okay anon friend, we will make it.

Therapy is good if your therapist is good. Look into finding a psychiatrist and getting on some jew candy, antidepressants might work. I have a theory that intrusive thoughts are anxiety based and the anxyliotic properties of SSRIs might help to reduce our symptoms.

Keep trying.
>>
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>Can't shake the feeling that I'm the butt of some huge inside joke I don't know about or something
>Constantly getting singled out and treated differently than others for better or worse, despite not doing much to stand out
>Constantly finding unnerving similarities in things that shouldn't be connected at all, feel like it's too much to be a coincidence sometimes
>Feel like I'm being watched by everyone like I'm on a facecam livestream or some shit if there are any cameras around (phone, laptopc, etc) so I color pieces of paper black with a sharpie and tape them over any cameras I have
>Constantly have intrusive thoughts, basically whatever I know I don't want to think about, I end up thinking about it at the worst moments specifically because I know I fucking hate it, yet I don't know how to control it
>Can't play games/watch movies/listen to music that I think are really good unless the environment, atmosphere and circumstances are absolutely perfect, or I have the unshakable feeling that I'm "ruining it" like watching a horror movie in broad daylight or something
Part of me wants to see a psychiatrist, but I also feel like they'll just give me some bad diagnosis that'll stick with me and be on my record for the rest of my life
>>
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>>36568106
>he thinks that getting autistic about gym will get him social skills
you fell for /fit/ meme.
>>
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>>36535771
>am 18
>Think Im average looking all my life
>Avoided girls and all the ones that tried to talk to me I told to leave me alone.
>Finally make friends with a few girls, I only am talking to ones with boyfriends as I'm not interested in relationships.
>They start commenting on my looks saying my hair looks nice etc.
>Skip forward a week they think I'm model tier and cant stop taking photos of me.

Born with Chad face and still fail....
>>
>>36570231
P.s, the girls im hanging out with are all 7-10's
>>
I feel like i'm destined to be inferior to everyone i meet. The butt of all jokes.

I always search for bad news to feel better with myself.
>>
>>36539973
I share your pain Anon.
Oregano.
>>
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>tfw sabotaging yourself all the damn time
>feeling bad
>stay up for 24 hours
>wake up after 3 hours of sleep
>self harm
>decide to take seroquel on a whim despite not taking it for a year or so
>shitpost and drink coffee to fight off the drowsiness caused by seroquel
As for what the fuck am I doing with my life, I don't even know. It always ends up like this. I just do shit on a whim and then regret it. Except I'm starting to feel pretty good. Only downside is that I cant stop shaking my leg. Its fucking pissing me off.
>>
>>36558209

From what i read, you don't wanna know.
>>
>tfw addicted to phenibut
>>
>>36560716
Last guy here
Thank you for making me feel less alone
>>
>tfw another day wasted doing nothing of value
>>
>>36571375
I should sign up for classes too but I just can't be bothered. I don't even work. I should be filling out an application a friend gave me but i'm not doing that either.
who /can'tgetheiracttogether/ here
>>
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>tfw living a semi good existence and have had 10 sexual gfs but just turned 30 and getting fatter, lonelier by the month, and job raises aren't like they used be, and no matter how many fun toys or guns I buy, they'll only put a bandage on the hemorrhaging pain of nogf and being 30, childless, living at home, but able to repel a zombie/commie horde
>>
>tfw watched so much anime when younger imitated anime behavior in public subconsciously
>tfw can't watch anime anymore without remembering terrible cringe memories
I still love the stuff and intend to get back into eventually once I can get over my cringe
>>
>>36560892
my dude, go for the trade school. you'll make new friends and can live you comfy life
>>
>best friend is drifting from me and there's nothing I can do
I ask him what's the deal and he says he doesn't know what to say to me anymore. This fucking guy who used to talk daily about whatever was in his head now doesn't know what to say.
He was honestly the most important person to me and now it's like he's switched off to me, because I'm in another country.
I can't meet up and tell him to get a grip. I can't MAKE him care. He's right there and I know him as my best friend, but it's like I'm an inconvenience to him.
It's not like I have a plethora of friends to choose from either, so if I tell him to buck up or fuck off, I'll be alone.
>>
>>36562628
but i am proud of you son
>>
>>36568106
This hurt so much. also.
>Started lifting for girls
>Realised girls don't give a fuck about fitness and eating healthy
>>
>>36571709
Let me give you a warning. Anime is crack heroin for neets. Its going to give you a really nice high for a very short period of time. After which you'll be even more devastated. So what are you going to do? Fill that time in with more anime. I advise abandoning anime forever and never looking back.
>>
>>36536407
That's what you get for glorifying that pop science bs
>>
>>36539677
>become a robot
>become
>be
>come

We are born you silly normie.
>>
>>36535946
I live in longmont. Its basically touches boulder. Keep me updated. If you need help make a thread, im here on and off throughout the, everyday
>>
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>tfw dreamt I invaded the local kings dream
>tfw he knows I did it
>tfw he is young and a complete despot a la King Joffrey
>tfw walking around the city trying to avoid him yet knowing I will probably be hanged by the end of the day
>walk down to the beach and lean onto the palm tree gazing at the ocean accepting my fate

What does this mean?
>>
>>36571962
And by help i mean.._ not much. Im flatbroke and currently staying with my parents, but i know a house of jolly blokes and we should all drink and together. Make connections
>>
>>36535771
>>36535771
tfw too young to die in my sleep feelsbadman
>>
>>36535771
>tfw mild aspie
>tfw people *know* something is wrong with me
>tfw not autistic enough to look like it
>tfw people just think I'm the weird kid
>tfw normies make fun of me until they learn I'm autistic
>tfw normies try to apologize for acting like asshole but I don't accept their apology

it could be worse I guess.
>>
>>36536319
>whore of gay Babylon
that's really funny
>>
>>36570141
This is actually pretty much me to a T, only I'm not quite as severe, and I have schizoaffective disorder.

Might want to look into it.
>>
>Thought I'd become one of those nerd virgins
>got into humanities because tfw to dum to STEM
>family keeps pushing me to study and work
>somewhat attractive, and look young too
>get a nationalist "redpilled" gf who works and won't take my money even when I offer it to her
>tfw I just want to be a fucking degenerate, put on a chastity belt, get fucked by sadistic women and men and try to dodge AIDS for as long as I can, I don't even know why
>life keeps trying its best to make me a normie
>>
>tfw long crazy scientist hair but you've stopped caring because you look shit no matter what
>>
>>36572303
>tfw no aspie or autism or anything but still tend to interact with people in terms of solving problems rather than sharing feelings (at least I think that's what normis do, I'm not sure)
>tfw have had people give up on me because "I'm acting weird on purpose" since I understand normie emotions but don't act on that knowledge
>tfw very emotional but apparently not empathetic
>tfw spend days without noticing I'm sad
it's like I'm autistic by choice. Or I used to be normal. I don't fucking know.
>>
>>36572370
I feel you.
>just wanted to be left alone to play video games until things get bad enough that I decide to hang myself
>ended up with two daughters and a barely-legal gf she's 16
I never have both the time and energy to do what I actually want, though. So when I have energy I have to go to work and when I have time I'm too tired to do anything I enjoy.
>>
>>36572368
I'm partially worried that they'll just slap some paranoid schizo diagnosis or something equally severe on me despite the fact that I've never heard voices or seen hallucinations or anything relating to psychosis like that. My house has been broken into in the past and I really want to buy a shotgun for home defense, yet I doubt I'd pass the background checks with something like that. Plus it'd probably bar me from a lot of potential careers in the future.
>>
>>36572451
that sucks anon, I know the feel. Even without autism I'd still have a very large lack of empathy, I simply don't care about another person emotionally or physically. At least my autism developed into making me a good writer.
>>
>>36571624
>part time working as a teacher
>literally nothing else
>only have to plan three classes, which apparently takes other people less than 10 hours altogether
>still end up doing all the work halfassedly on the last day
>it's wednesday and I haven't done shit
>probably gonna get fired
>not even a good teacher personality, kids think I'm boring
I only got the job because I'm very good at English. Only, I'm not good at "peopleing".
>>
>goal in life is to beat all the Diablo 2 mods
>have been playing mods non-stop since 2008
>just recently beat the last of the hardest mods
>two of the mods left are unbeatable because their newest patches evaporated
>one of them crashes every time you fight Diablo, making it impossible to get past Act 4
>the other is supposed to have random immunities, but it doesn't, completely invalidating the experience
>there are also three other mods that have entirely evaporated from the face of the internet
>nothing to do now but reminiscence on mods past, knowing that my goal is impossible
>>
>>36572490
Well I got diagnosed with it and my therapist understands that I don't hear voices or see hallucinations. I hope it doesn't screw me over in the future. I don't see why it would, barring entry into the military, which kinda sucks, but it wasn't something that I really wanted to do anyway.

Honestly it sounds like it affects you more than me. My main issue is my bipolar type-II disorder.
>>
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>>36570231
I have the sneaking suspicion that other than my height, I'm pretty physically attractive, only I could work out and get a nicer build. Problem is, I'm way too socially stunted to actually do anything with it.

>>36571484
>every fucking day
>tell myself I'm going to get to all the books I've been meaning to read, all the albums I've been meaning to get into, etc.
>have a ton of video games I've been meaning to go back to, to git gud at or 100%
>always put it off
>every night, go to sleep feeling like I accomplished nothing
>if I do decide to watch or listen to something, it'll be some spur of the moment decision that had nothing to do with the stuff that I've been meaning to actually get to

Never mind the fact that I consider myself a writer and haven't written anything in ages, or the fact that I've started a comic project with an artist and he's been waiting for my scripts for fucking ages now. Goddamn, I'm so lazy and/or unmotivated.
>>
>accidentally cause death of older brother by being afraid and irresponsible
>accidentally cause death of younger brother years later by being a bad influence
>mother has lost her mind
>wish she would die so I don't have to worry about her anymore...
>>
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>live alone in a small house away from other people
>spend all my free time playing video games, reading about guns, reading about conspiracy theories, and fiddling with electronics for fun
>rarely talk to people
>never shave, rarely get hair cut
>tfw you turned into the crazy uncle
>>
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>tfw even the smallest and most irrelevant things make me happy or sad
For example today I saw some tests in my Uni. I had a 5.50 (basically B+/A by the American grading system). The niggerfaggot teacher decided to count that as a B and surprisingly I saw some shit doodled on my exam paper by someone(who was surely a grill which made me happier because I am an autist). It was written ''This is a fucking A not B" or shit like that. It sounds fucking retarded to feel good about that but to think that people don't hate you for being 'that smart guy who doesn't talk much' and instead respect your achievements is awesome.

Oh and on the other side of the spectrum whenever I say something awkward I fucking think about it for a whole week.
>>
>>36538232
Is thatit greentext a reference to the Nyx Avatar in Persona 3? Or is it an actual thing related to Tarot readings.
>>
>>36572627
I've never been interested in joining the military, I just don't want muh guns taken really. When it really comes down to it, I would like to know what causes all this shit and I might end up seeing a professional, but unfortunately many mental illnesses are misunderstood and viewed in an extremely negative light by many people, so pretty much no matter what I'd end up being diagnosed with, I'd run that risk. That's the main reason I've just kind of understood that something isn't fully right and tried to live with it rather than seeking help.
>>
>>36560716
Keyboard cleaner guy here. You seem like a cool dude.
>>
>>36573451
>I would like to know what causes all this shit and I might end up seeing a professional, but unfortunately many mental illnesses are misunderstood and viewed in an extremely negative light by many people, so pretty much no matter what I'd end up being diagnosed with, I'd run that risk.
Honestly, the only people who'd actually care are stupid people and the sort of people who'd frequent 4chan, because this site is pretty 'anti-people with mental illness' in general.

No one is going to care and it's not like they'll ever find out anyway unless you actually tell them. And if you just act normal, it's not like they'll give a shit.
>>
>>36537393

Kind of reminds me of myself, except I'm much more extreme.

Be 25, my first year on the faculty of a university.
Be virgin, no relationship experience.
One day out of the blue, the dept. secretary asks me if I want to see a movie.
I say okay.
I show up at theater, but she isn't there.
Turns out there was some miscommunication about time/place.
She says sorry.
I politely say no problem.
I never talk to her again, even though I see her in the dept. office most days.
I that realize I'm too shy and immature to even ask her out to a movie,
even despite knowing that she's interested.
I have a total and complete lack of self-confidence.
Even though I'm dying of loneliness.
I always knew I was pathetic, but this incident made me realize how bad it really was.

Over the next decade, I became increasingly successful (both professionally and financially), which gave me a lot of self-confidence in my abilities. But at the same time I had absolutely no self-confidence to even be able to talk with a woman in a non-professional capacity. It was extremely bizarre to have so much confidence in one area of my life, and absolutely no confidence in another area. You would think that the self-confidence would transfer over at least a little bit, but it didn't.
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