>mom keeps telling me to have some breakfast >she knows

>be me 28yo 300 pound waddle
>wake up at the break of noon to mommies breakfast calls.
>fucking bitch knows I don't eat before a mission
>commence mission

.....

>>36517688
>lift fat rolls off my legs and heave my fatty sweaty cum stained mess of a body to the side of the bed.
>use what little muscle fat I have in my legs to lift my moist ass from the bed
>equip fedora
>oil katana
>I can't be stopped.
>begin plonking one foot in front of the other.
>I'm glad I skipped mommy's breakfast, I'm surprisingly light on my feet.
>4 steps in now

.......

>>36517332
What about tendies anon?

>>36517837
>>36517688
i'm crying, more.

>>36517837
What was your objective? How did you get past Chad?

>>36517946
>How did you get past Chad?

Evoking fear in your opponent wins the battle before it's even begun

File: image.gif (86KB, 499x365px) Image search: [Google]

86KB, 499x365px

>>36517946
Perhaps by "mission" he means somthing to do with vidya?

>>36517688
>>36517837
Op bailed?

Can someone continue this?

>>36517837
>greetings mother
>graciously tip my fedore because although she was being autistic and wanting me to eat breakfast she still cares for me
>swipe side spin to dodge her hug
>dinner plates rattle on the table as my heels smash the floor in elegance
>14 steps in now
>heading out anon?
>i open the freezer door with my katana handle and grab 1/204 chicken tendies boxes my foul mother bought at costco
>i stop and look down with the cool kiss of the box of tendies on over-skinned meaty hands
>...heading out? i say

.....

>>36518228
my*

>the tendies fall to the ground as i make one gesture to have my blade 2 inches from her throat
>i stand there, back is arched, my plumbers crack alerting any plumber within 6 mile radius, infront of the freezer door still opened feelscoldman
>heading...out...? i say? as a 200 calorie sweat drop drips from my acne ridden forehead
>anon it was just a question, she panics
>i sheathe my +21 attack katana
>...heading...out?
>i throw the tendy box at her wretched hands
>i don't head out. i complete missions.
>now cook those
>almost 17 steps in FeetHurtMan
>i press b to sit on kitchen table

....

>>36518388

>my tendies have arrived
>my mother after experiencing a near death experience from my blade surely wouldn't dare upset me with burnt tendies
>the tendy touches my hardened white tongue... TastesTendyMan
>i knock my knuckles on the table
>slave mother brings more tendies, she knows what it means
>30 tendies down, i knock again
>hit me
>15 tendies arive
>45 down my gullet
>i raise my hand to knock again
>my mother in Tendy Deliver position
>i abstain
> she lets out a sigh if relief
>cup of ketchup ti wash it down
>i push my chair away from the table and plop my belly on the table
>did you enjoy your meal anon?
>i say nothing, i am in euphoria.
>these nuggest will fuel my mission

....

>>36518537

>just as i begin to relax, a knock on the door appears.
>my mother drops my ketchup and saliva smeared tendie dish
>the dish shatters in my cranium and i come to my senses
>i jolt up as my belly retracts to its original position
>... my mission has begun ...

>>36518667

>flashback to 6 months ago
>every morning like the last
>bitch face mother screaming for me to come eat breakfast, i respond in anger and clean out the fridge making her shop for the exact same meal the next day
>a knock on the door
>chiseled chin mailman chad, blonde hair smells of nordic steel, a smile like i've never seen.
>had i been stacy i would want that man to rupture my insides.
>his teeth glisten in his mailman cap as his blonde hair is pushed out of his eyes by the gods themseves as the crisp wind blows
>heres your mail miss! have a good one!
>thanks chad :)
>mother closes door
>it was the mailman anon, looks like we've got some mail!
>i saw him, witch.
>i think to my head how many babies he's layed inside the women i've been trying to white knight my whole life
>i think about how he doesnt have to deal with the same waking pattern i do
>i think about how he can reach behind his own ass and wipe
>i... i'll kill him.

>>36518815

>MY MISSION, i autisticly screech
>i use whatever strength i can muster to get my moist ass off my chair
>my belly knocks over there table, there is egg whites & spinach artichoke dip all over the floor
>i glide on a spilt banana peel and ram my shoulder into the fridge leaving my head in a daze
>i pull out my katana in a flurry slicing and dicing
>"get down unless you want to meet the gods mother!"
>my mother runs to the living room she knows i am going to kill this bastard mail man
>my shirt is ripped & i've lost me fedora
>i have -4 charisma because of my lack of helmet but luckily my shirt is still 57/100 quality and doesn't need repair
>i roll out of my daze summersaulting and wheezing my way over to the door
>chad knocks again and asks if everything is alright
>"one second Cha- mr. Mail man!" I say while mimicking my mothers souless high pitched tone
>my pants have fallen from the summersault and my under garments are exposed, my bald spot is showing & my shirt is ripped right at the shoulder causing my DD breast to peek out like a gay mans head in a mens spa bathroom
>i open the door
>katana in hand
>soldier stance
>half of my gear is lost
>i can do this...

......

File: IMG_3224.jpg (100KB, 640x633px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 640x633px

>>36517688
>>36517837
>>36518228
>>36518388
>>36518537
>>36518667
>>36518815
>>36518992

My sides, i need more. More. More.

>>36518992

>me and chad mailman lock eyes
>i see something
>theres a spark in him i didn't notice before
>my normie slicer 3000 katana won't move, why can't i kill this chad fuck, why won't my years of training trigger my reflex to slice him
>we are standing there looking at each other in awe
>he asks me if i /robot/
>i stand there looking as robot as i looked my whole life & nod my head as a charming dust of dandruff falls out
>he holds my hand and says "me too anon"
>i feel like sold german made flesh, bolts and nuts all over his arm
>"you're a robot as well" i ask in shock
>still holding hands he leans in and tells me he's been an /r9k/ his whole life
>he invites me to his home and i accept because if his ravashing metallic good looks
>i follow him outside, his shift is just ending so we drive to his home in his mailman buggy
>that night at his home felt like an eternity, two robots making love by the fireplace. I wouldn't trade this for the world. This Chad looking robot makes me feel like i've never felt.
>he proposes later and we start a family.
>"a boy and a girl having two dads? wouldn't that he rough?" I asked him one night after our kids are put to sleep.
>he made sure to show me how rough he can be & he assured me we could raise them right. he made love to me like a hyena and as did i to him.

>>36519412

>on a family trip to jamaica
>kids are now older, over 20 each
>they are having a blast at the bar while me and my husband lay by the beach
>in jamaica they arent accepting towards same sex lovers so we are secluded
>all alone me and my chad robot
>he lays behind me and i am on my elbow staring off into the beach shore
>"what next baby" i ask as i feel him touching my obese waist from behind
>i feel a cold pain in my side
>i see blood in the sand under me
>he removes his robot hand revealing a flesh hand with many tribal tattoos and a very muscular build
>blood comes out of my mouth as me jams the dagger further into my side
>"no..." i say
>his countless facebook posts, his flip flops & cargo shorts, his strong jaw, and now the tribal tattoo... i should've known.
>how could i be blinded.
>he slowly pulls out the dagger FuckingHurtsMan and brings it to my throat
>"Viva la Normie" whispers the chad

Fin.

>>36519518
Mission failed.

A tragic lovestory even for /r9k/ sorry about you loss OP.

I fell in love with your story anon

>>36519518
>even a robot cannot resist chad

a bitter red pill

>>36519116
i feel happy because you think im funny
too bad its all real and you're laughing at me

>>36517332

GET OFF MY FUCKING BOARD YOU UNDERAGE CUNT

REEEEEE

>>36518537
You just ate before your mission you fucking idiot.