Fucking shat my pants at the barbers today. Tell me embarressing

so like..i was in line to get a doe ass haircut,kno am sayin? and this autist shat his pants hhhahha lmfao shit was embarrasing af bruv real talk

you got dubs, thats something

I have done tons of screwed up stuff but I cant let myself remember without crying and feeling like I need a shower.

>>36485400
Holy fuck post the entire story please.

>>36485400
Did you get new pants at least?

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>>36485823
Woke up late in the day and I was 10 minutes late for my appointment, I didnt even make coffee I just rushed out the house without taking a piss, shit or anything.
I thought it was just going to be a quick cut, but the cute girl there ended up washing my hair.
Her fingers were so soft running through my scalp, I decided to let out a subtle comfort fart and I ended up shitting my pants.

It was at that moment I stood up, admitted to losing control of my bowels and I just left.
I can't go back.

When I was 5 I wet the bed while staying at my grandma's house and was too embarrassed to say anything. I went to school the next day with soaked pants and even though no one said anything, I'm pretty sure people could tell.

i remember being 6 years old and shitting my pants at the beginning of the day and having to just deal with it for the entire day sloshing around in my britches, too afraid to say anything because my mother used to beat my ass for doing it and it ended up happening when i got home anyway

>Went to the barbers early today to avoid the normies
>Some other guy is their first
>Shits himself
>Have to come back to the barbers later

Normies, man.

I was working (am a barber) and one of my customers shat themselves mid haircut. Was pretty funny tbf

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>>36485974
I hope this is not real. Holy fuck, tell me OP, what kind of shit was it ? If it was liquid shit, that makes things 10 times worse

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>>36486177
>>36486109
>>36485427
You guys are hilarious

>>36486197
It happened anon.
and it was over-night condensed liquidated shit.

>>36485400
I poopd myself walking home from the barber. Thank goodness i didnt do it at the barbers. But i had to run 20 min to my home with poo hanging around. Did anyone offer to clean you up?

>I went to my first sleepover at about 13
>too embarrassed to leave the group to go to the bathroom
>Need to shit but think theyll know that's what I'm doing
>embarrassment is so strong that I manage to keep it in
>shit myself when we go to sleep
>another person takes pity on me in the morning and said something comforting but I just hated myself
>everyone knew for the rest of time

>>36485400
a gril came up to me in a bar
just walked upto me, stroked her hand down my chest, then down my forearm
"you look niiice..... what's your name," she asked.

"I.....I don't know....."

"Huh?!...."

"Uh...."

she walked off.
closest i ever came to getting laid, true story.

>>36486197
I don't know, I feel like leaving a big turd on the floor must be worse

>>36485974
wow you are fucking pathetic hahaha

>>36486340
Well did you know your name?

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>>36486234
It's okay OP, it's over now. Simply never go anywhere near this place again and you should be fine. Now that it's over, simply laugh about it. And, did your pants were strong enough to countain the liquid shit or did you spill some on the chair too ?

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>on vacation
>family is chillin in the room
>a menacing gurgling feeling in my stomach wakes me up from my nap
>realize it's urgent diarrhea
>sit up slowly and begin walking towards the bathroom
>clenching as hard as I could
>a couple steps from the bathroom door
>dad gets out of bed and brushes past me
>beats me to the toilet
>a heinous act of betrayal
>"Dad nooo" was all I could say before the I shit myself
>liquid feces erupted into my cargo shorts and rolled down my legs, seeping into my socks
>mom realizes what happened
>starts screaming at me
>little sister wakes up just in time to witness my ultimate shame
>dad opens the bathroom door and is hit by the smell
>says "you're too old to be pooping yourself"
>start crying

To this day my dad says he didn't see me heading towards the bathroom. He doesn't want to admit that he caused his 12 year old son to shit himself.

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>Go to barbers
>Realize I have no idea how to describe the hairstyle I want
>She pulls out a magazine and just sort of gives me suggestions
>No idea what is "fashionable" so I just nod at everything she says
>She tries to keep a conversation going but I find myself at a loss for words
>Awkward silence ensues
>Time to pay up
>Almost drop my wallet because I'm shaking so much
>Receive change, walk out as fast as I can
>Just as I step outside she yells after me because I forgot my coat
>Step back in, get coat
>Close door, coat stuck in doorway
>Open door, pull out coat
>Run away, fighting back the tears

I don't go to that place anymore and I usually just let my hair grow out for a year or two before getting it cut.

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>>36486430
I'm fairly certain I left shit on their floor, I was out of there within the same few seconds I had realised and didnt look back though, so can't confirm.

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>>36486476
>He doesn't cut his own hair

It's so easy anon, just get scissors.

>>36486476
Holy shit you're fucking adorable anon

>>36486447
>a couple steps from the bathroom door
I'm so confused. What was a random couple doing in your hotel room? Did they have sex in the bathroom?

>working a new desk job
>with a team but my cubicle was separated from the rest of them cause no space
>in an area of the office that literally no one walks by besides the janitor (and I always hear their big garbage thing roll by)
>all messaging done through IM
>one day my balls are really itching
>wearing thick jeans so scratching through them did nothing
>decide to reach in that directly scratch them
>the one fucking time I do something spergy 3 members of the team come by to let me know theres a meeting and they didnt IM for some fucking reason
>they saw me with my hands down my pants
>tried to explain I was fixing my boxers

At least it was a term position and I was out of there by next week

>>36486510
I want to say I don't want to look like an autistic retard by cutting my own hair into a Just-Fuck-My-Shit-Up-Special, but visits to the barber make me look like an autistic retard anyway.

>>36485974
>It was at that moment I stood up, admitted to losing control of my bowels and I just left.
>I can't go back.

thats actually the best thing to do. just remember you arent obligated to tell anybody about this, ever.

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>>36486486
Regardless of the fact that you may or may not have left liquid shit on their floor, you're one of my heros OP. Shitting on the barber's chair and getting away with it is one of the bravest things one could dream of accomplishing. Focus on the good side of this adventure and have a good laugh about how crazy it was with us. You're a legend within the pantheon of Autism as of today OP. Wear it with pride.

>>36485974
>I decided to let out a subtle comfort fart
Why?

Never gamble on a fart. Best case scenario, it's a fart.

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>>36486726
Thank you for your kind words anon, I'll try to cherish the moment, it will be something to tell my grandchildren.

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>>36486753
I didnt have any groin rumblies to indicate it was one of THOSE.
It all happened so fast.

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>>36486763
>grandchildren

>>36486793
Positive thinking anon.

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>Eat a bunch of chili really fast
>Drink bottled coke (which gives me gas for some reason)
>Stomach gets gassy and bloated but I don't care
>See someone wearing that succubus (male) shirt in public
>Have to fart, decide to do it now rather than doing it while trying to autistically bully someone who looks like a girl
>Fart
>Get watery, liquid sihit down my pants and on the ground
>Spend the next 10 minutes hiding in an alleyway were I use to fap spraying myself with a ton of cologne
>Hide from 8pm until 2am hiding in a dark alley with two burgers for food and a shitty smartphone for entertainment

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>>36486763
The pleasure was mine OP, to be quite honest, I had a pretty bad day myself, but reading your story and helping you fix it has made me happy. And it's been a long time since since I've even had a smile. Thanks to you and your liquid shit, I'm feeling happiness.

>>36486880
Are you homeless or something?

This is an original comment

>>36486949
I'm not homeless but I one morning I found a really comfy alley way, sat down and started browsing /trash/ and fapping.

Eventually I just started eating and pissing there.

I treat it as a third home (second one being 4chan), I like to hang out there because the only people that come near it are garbage men and all the homeless in the city stay near the path station.

>>36486281
how much of a manchild do you have to be to get cleaned up by others?

I thought americans shitting themselves is just a meme. Guess not.

>>36486726
Are we pretending that OP shat on the barber's chair as some act of autistic defiance now?