anyone else /approachingtheend/ here? I don't think I can

I'm thinking about ending it.

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Yeah OP, thought about hanging myself from this bridge.

Or to just swim out to sea as far as I can until I'm too tired to swim back.

>>36399285
I've had suicidal thoughts for about a decade now but it's getting increasingly worse. Always used to 'joke' that I'd off myself if I hadn't sorted myself out by 25. Only 7 months to go.

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>>36399424
yeah me too, back when i was at school 5 years ago i kept telling myself I'll be a different person:
>I'll find a group of friends i fit in with
>I'll get used to this talking to girls thing and have a few gfs before I find the right one
>I'll get that engineering career started
>I'll have a reason to wake up in the morning

none of that shit ever came, and I stayed the same loner and loser as i was in school. now my hair's receeding I'm 90% sure I'm gunna be the one to kill me.

pic related is how i wanna go, only I'll do it in the forest near my home, very early in the morning so i can watch the sun rise.

spent the last 2 days mentally writing my note

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>>36399370
There's a bridge like that near where i live over a really small river. would that height guarantee an immediate death if i hit a flat rock on the bottom?

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>listening to Adagio for Strings while writing my suicide note
>mfw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KylMqxLzNGo

>>36399285
Come Friday evening I'm walking out 10 miles west of this mountain top radio tower and killing myself. I plan to take some muscle relaxants and sleeping pills before opening up my femoral artery, I hope I get to watch the sunset while I'm dying.

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>>36399798
that's some patrician taste anon.

>>36399650
>i kept telling myself I'll be a different person
Yeah I kept thinking that. I briefly thought it was happening in college but then University happened, or didn't happen really, and I was knocked out of my optimistic stupor. Since then I haven't had any big changes to latch on to as 'life changing' events so there's not even a glimmer of hope left.

I honestly understand suicide "victims" more than I do "normies" at this point.

in the forest near my home, very early in the morning so i can watch the sun rise.

>in the forest near my home, very early in the morning so i can watch the sun rise.
The beauty of nature is one of few things that still snaps me out of my determined suicidal moments. I'd have to lock myself in if I was ever going to do it.

Does a suicide note have to be long? I just want to tell them to not look for my body.

>>36399973
suicide notes can be as long and be about anything you want. Typically they explain your actions or apologizing for said action.

>>36399973
Might as well be given that they're the last thing of note you'll ever create. You're from from having to worry about how it will be received and how that will effect you; it's the closest thing to complete artistic freedom anyone will ever have. Run with it.

>>36400072
>from from
*free from

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>>36399798

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNlI16lhYIA

hard mode

How tall should a person fall into solid concrete to guarantee death? I'm thinking of doing it. Won't gonna botter with a suicide note, tho.

>>36399798
Don't do it Ollie (bloxxx)

>>36400272
>How tall should a person fall into solid concrete to guarantee death?
Any regular bridge would do the trick.

>>36399973
Mine is 750 words.

I've tried writing a few suicide notes in the past. Some were a paragraph long. Some were tens of thousands of words.

When writing a suicide, you need to understand that it serves two purposes: to protect your image, and to console whoever reads it.

You need to explain why you want to kill yourself. Explain how you feel, and not necessarily why you feel that way. The more detail you go into of your reasons for feeling sad, the more likely someone is to misunderstand something. For example, if you feel sad because you're lonely, someone reading that may think "well why didn't he talk to me? or go outside and get some friends?". You don't want that. Instead, say something along the lines of "I hate being lonely, but I want to be alone and I am scared of people". People can't nitpick at that.

Don't give the readers anything that they can dispute.

Basically, just explain what you feel, without going into anecdotes or excess detail.

Explain how trying is pointless, and why you have no choice but to kill yourself, and that it is a deliberate and unimpulsive. You don't want people thinking that you just got really mad one time and made a decision you would have regretted.

Explain how futile it is to stay alive. Go into slight detail about how unhappy you are. If you've had medication or therapy, say how useless that was.

Try to avoid saying things that you enjoy or make you unhappy as much as you can. If you do discuss things that made you happy, explain why something similar will never happen again. If people think you had the potential to be happy, they will be left with doubt about why you killed yourself.

Try to be very matter-of-fact about it. Try not to write anything overly emotional. Don't swear. Use proper grammar. It should be formal.

Say that people should not feel sad for you.

End the suicide note with a great last sentence, if you can.

Planning to do it while the whole family is around. They're all out there having successful lives. I can't only damage the lives of my parents, I have to spread it around.

>>36397479
My plan was to blow my brains out over a bridge or near a body of water late at night so I can guarantee death.

>>36399285
finally mustered up the courage to quit my job next month. Going to just travel until my money runs out, I have no reason to keep going at this point.

>>36400313
Oops. Should have proofread that.

>that it is a deliberate
>that it is deliberate
Fixed.

>Try to avoid saying things that you enjoy or make you unhappy as much as you can
>Try to avoid saying things that you enjoy or make you happy as much as you can
Fixed.

>>36400313
Trying to apply this sort of structure to something so naturally unrestricted is close to an act of evil in my view.

>>36400313

i'm just gonna say that i'm tired and i hate life, and then ask them to feed my cat

>>36399285
same. i can feel it building

my suicidal thoughts are starting to become practical, i'm positive i'm gonna kill my ex and shoot myself this year.

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>>36400395
>tfw you write i'm tired and i hate my cat.

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>>36399962
yeah, I also planned to bring a bar of chocolate and a couple bottles of my favourite booze, but i backed out of a suicide attempt before (came pretty close) and really regretted it. I feel like I'd be pretty determined this time.

Also I refuse to let myself die in a dark room in my house, I feel like my parents and sister would feel better about my death if they know I picked a nice spot and chose a painless method of suicide.

Anyway, pic related is very similar looking to the spot I'm planning on killing myself.

I plan to kill myself in july/august time, need to sort out a few things, otherwise i would be an asshole jumping ship like that.
Anyway what i plan to add in my suicide note is to thank my dad for getting me off the anti-depressants as he thought i wasn't depressed and was just going through a phase ironically.
Whilst on the drugs i was deluded into thinking things would be fine, when they wouldn't as i realized as i came off the anti depressants.

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>>36400362
where ya travelling?

>>36400391
There's no "structure" to it. Just dos and don'ts.

Google "real suicide notes" and read some actual suicide notes. The ones that are the most to-the-point, and express how they feel rather than why they feel that way are the best.

No one wants to read about your problems. But people DO want to read about how sad you feel.

Girlfriend (lol) break up with you? Don't write "Sarah broke up with me. I gave her so much time and love and she threw it all way". Instead, write "I am lonely. I have no one to spend my life with. People don't like me, and I can't blame them. I hate myself, too".

See the difference? One sounds cringy and that you being a little crybaby bitch. In the other example, you sound like a stoic man who has finally broken.

It's an easy peasy rule to follow. Explain HOW you feel, and not WHY you feel that way. People can relate to generic feelings of sadness and depression far easier than they can relate to how Sarah broke your heart and sucked Chad's dick.

>>36399424
I'm 25 now. Life is just speeding by, and at this age I'm frankly ashamed at what I've become or have perhaps always been. I'm just a mute wagecuck in a low prestige job with no friends.

I am an imprint of a man made obsolete almost a century ago. My adult life has been nothing but an endurance round of boredom and confusion. I don't want to hurt anyone. This is just nature.

>>36399285
Nah man, there's too much shit I need to see happen for closure before I off myself.

>>36399285
Almost got into two physical altercations today, outnumbered in each one of course.

I just want to pound someone into oblivion, but that would not be good for my wageslavery, and without that I am nothing.

Just wanted to take the train home to sleep, I did not ask to be fucking ran over.

>>36400914
mute? as in there is a physical reason you can't speak, or do you have selective mutism?

>>36401160
>boredom and confusion
This is accurate statement. You find everything boring but cant find to do something meaningful out of inner confusion.

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>>36399962
>The beauty of nature is one of few things that still snaps me out of my determined suicidal moments.
Yeah, i really wish now that i was just born a few thousand years ago and spend every day hunting and gathering with a tribe.

because in a tribe no one is shut in their house browsing the internet, no one is fat or burdened by disabilities (if they did they'd be die very quick), there would be a real sense of community and finding a gf probably wouldn't be a difficult as it is now (unless your face is exceptionally ugly)

sure life wouldn't be easy but I'd still have a purpose to help my fellow tribesman

>>36400886
>there's no structure
>continues to outline said structure
You're missing the point. A suicide note has the potential to be a perfect expression of ones thoughts and emotion, something completely unachievable in any other circumstance. Trying to optimise that and apply general rules to such a personal thing seems wasteful of such an opportunity.

I started writing what is essentially my suicide note recently. It's likely to end up hundreds of pages long; a complete philosophical reflection of my life, or lack thereof, and an attempt to draw some meaningful and benificial conclusions from it. Arrogant? Perhaps, but why not be for once.

Like I said, it's potentially the last thing you'll ever produce. Why limit yourself to an essential facsimile of every other suicide note?

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>>36401264
>It's likely to end up hundreds of pages long; a complete philosophical reflection of my life
holy shit! hundreds of pages? is it like Elliot Rodger's manifesto where he just basically tells his entire life story?

>>36401251
Being suicidal frees your mind to consider things you otherwise wouldn't, like primitivism. You can see more than the simple utility equation of reducing suffering (equated to mortality) which would otherwise have caused it to be dismissed.

>>36399839
can you explain why you're doing it?

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Honestly, I've attempted suicide 3 times and each time I failed

I don't want to go on

Global Warming has ruined my life.

I am fairly certain that chocolate will go extinct before 2022. Honey will vanish by 2025 and along with that apples and other such fruit. Beans will vanish by 2030.

I don't want to live on a planet where I can't get whatever food I want, whenevr I want. I am obese.

The first time I attempted suicide, I tried to overdose on pills but got hungry and ate some chocolate and felt too full to finish taking pills so I just passed out for a couple of hours. I can't imagine life after agricultural collapse ruins the planet. Sometimes I literally just go to the local farm and sit in the cornfields and wipe my faeces on the crops to simulate eventual crop collapse.

>>36401397
I can't say for sure, it's just an idea right now. I don't think so though, I hope not. I'd like it to be a more metaphysical reflection than a self-pitying autobiography.

>>36401475

i wish we were friends

>>36399768

Just hang yourself off it, the rope will most likely snap your neck ensuring a painless death.

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>>36401475
>Sometimes I literally just go to the local farm and sit in the cornfields and wipe my faeces on the crops to simulate eventual crop collapse.

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>>36401529
i don't like the idea of my neck literally snapping in half, my head being destroyed by smashing off a rock face sound's better in my mind

I dont think I could ever kill myself


I do see why people would though, theres just no point in anything really, some people just haven't the motivation to "improve themselves"

even if they did they prob wouldnt be much better off

I respect epople decision to do it but I could never agree with it

shits already fucked and nothing matters

Fucking stop it. I seriously get angry when I see people talk about suicide.
Do something. "Suicide" by doing something. You won't feel like it in a suicidal state but just travel somewhere with no plans, do whatever the fuck.
Just dos omething, anything! But get out of your rut! Get the fuck out of the house, put yourself on a plane.
Buy some drigs I don't care.
Join the military. Take some survival course and move out in the woods.

Do almost anything but don't end it bro.
I was suicidal on a daily basis for several years as a kid, from i was 10 to 12 I just wanted to end it. It's hard to say with instincts and all, but I really believe it was close.
But thank fucking hell I didn't.

Now I still get deeply depressed sometimes but then I think back at those times and I fucking push through, and if it ever gets to that point I will just do soemthing crazy before I would ever decide to end my life.

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>>36401615
That's just, like, your opinion man and i respect it, but at the same time will disregard it because of my own nihilistic opinions

>>36401615
There's no inherent value in experience.

>>36401475
Bla bla chocolate beans rice who gives a shit. Fuck global warming.
Soon you'll be able to travel through virtual worlds that will surpass our reality, you gonna check out and pass on that unique opportunity in human history? Really?
And even become a fucking robot soon. Quit this shit.

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>>36401613
why not? you're going to die eventually when you're old, why not end it now before it gets worse?

>>36401669
>Soon you'll be able to travel through virtual worlds
I already have an imagination.

>>36401664
Yeah and you know that how, silly human?
"I am certain of this! I know the secrets of the universe" said the one ant to the other.
We are literally the universe in it's most developed form. The universe has, by accident or not, developed consciousness and you're on the tip of the spear. Complexity is ever increasing and you're there, staring into the uncertain future. That's INTENSE AS HELL!

And if we will invent a supercomputer that will increase exponentially in complexity ad infinitum, experience will certainly hold value. Experience will be what it generates.

>>36401721
yeah, but you have the chance to stay in your imagination permanently

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>>36399285

I'm thinking of becoming homeless and working on farms in exchange for food and shelter. There are organisations online that can hook you up with farms/communes all over the world who need labour and will exchange food and shelter. You get to see the world, meet people, stop being a compulsive layabout, and see some sights.

Maybe I can just bounce around between farms and save up money while I work at one so that I can travel to the next. Just live out of a big rucksack. Could possibly purchase a bike and homeless my way across to the next farm, camping with a very lightweight set up as I go. I guess I could forage/set traps for small animals even, and also try to hit up towns/cities to sell crafts I make while homeless. Basic gimmicky shit that normies like, like wood carvings, pendants, ornaments, baskets. All of these can be made with basic tools and gathered materials. Even if I just sell enough to eat a square meal that day, that's enough.

Anything could happen, and I'm tired of this life. If my plan fails I will probably kms.

Rate my plan niggas

>sorry if you saw this on the other thread, cba to rewrite

>>36401264
>A suicide note has the potential to be a perfect expression of ones thoughts and emotion, something completely unachievable in any other circumstance
It also has the potential to be a massive spergy mess to read. Mine was. Mine was like 20 pages long. I included pictures and stuff. It was basically a way to vent what I was thinking. It was only when I read it again a few weeks later that I realized how shit it was.

Do you really want people to read your suicide note and think "what the fuck? hundreds of pages? the fuck is that? i just wanna know why he did it and move on with my life". Show some modesty in your final moments. You're committing suicide because you're a lonely pathetic waste of space. Any more than a few pages, and you're being a hypocrite.

Write a book if you want to write hundreds of pages. Do an autobiography if you want. But your suicide note should be short and sweet. No more than 2000 words.

>Arrogant? Perhaps, but why not be for once.
Because you'll be remembered as a narcissistic dickhead who didn't know when to stop. If that's what you want, fine. But people will think less of you, and will still not know truly know why you wanted to kill yourself.

You should be able to sum up why you want to kill yourself in a few pages. If it takes hundreds of pages, then maybe you don't really want to die? Sounds like you have a lot to live for.

>Like I said, it's potentially the last thing you'll ever produce
Then make it into a book and have a separate suicide note.

>Why limit yourself to an essential facsimile of every other suicide note?
Because they work. They are potent in how short they are. When you read a suicide note, you should be left understanding why they died, not bored to fucking death by hundreds of pages and still don't truly know why they did it.

Cut to the chase. If 20 pages of your fucking biography are about your low self-esteem, then just condense it into a paragraph.

>>36401721
The imagination sucks ass bro. Your brain is much shittier than you like to think.
Collective creativity and complex machines will create things no one ever even COULD imagine.

>>36401759
If you still want to live, and have nothing else you want to do, go for it
Otherwise kill yourself, especially if there is somethign you want to do in life but will now be impossible to do so - no point agonizing over it

>>36400272
300-400 feet

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>>36401615
>Get the fuck out of the house, put yourself on a plane.
>Buy some drigs I don't care.
>Join the military. Take some survival course and move out in the woods.
m8 some of us are smart enough to see those are just pointless distractions that won't solve shit.

I've done all kinds of shit to get my mind off depression and suicide; Airsoft, walking in the woods, vacation in hot countries. it makes no difference, I have no friends or family, I crave being accepted by people but I can never make friends with them.

I reached the end so long ago.

I'm not depressed, or sad or any of that shit anymore. And I most certainly have no desire to be around or "in" with people. I fucking hate people. I literally am a cold, emotionless, robot.

I have turned into a 100% seething with rage misanthtope. I hate so fucking strongly for this world and everyone and everything in it.

I've entered monk mode in a way, but not a very peaceful monk mode. I have no desire for any human contact whatsoever, friends, relationships, or even sex. The idea of sex completely repulses me now along with every other retarded activity of our bullshit naked, slightly less aggressive ape species.

I have so much overwhelming hatred inside of me. All I want is to be left alone. I feel like much longer of being forced to play along with society's games will trigger a corner animal response in me. (I.e. not good)

>>36401806

Maybe you're right. I kind of wanted to be a normie and have a normal lifestyle but the chances of that are slim now. I am at peace with it though. Yeah, the chances are extremely low.

>>36401475
>getting saved by chocolate
that's kind of a nice story

Help me, my friend wants to kill himself, for real. I know his usual "I'm depressed and I want to die, but not like right now, in a month or so", and now it seems proper.
I've moved to a different country, and we connect to each other emotionally that we don't with anyone else. I told him we'd need to make an effort to stay close but he's the kind of idiot who thinks everything's cool until it's not, low emotional intelligence.
So how can I prevent him killing himself? And don't be all like
>uhh you just have selfish motives!
Of course I do, but this boy has potential, knowing his character he doesn't see it though, it just all catches up on him in these rushes. Like he's completely dependent on his parents money wise, I ask him if his lack of independence bothers him, and he says he didn't think about it. And he doesn't, until he gets an intense urge to travel somewhere or go to a particular concert and his parents deny money, THEN he thinks about it and goes into crisis. Idiot.
Anyway, he doesn't listen to what I say. I tell him his 6am-4pm sleeping schedule is making him worse (I'm studying fucking chronobiology) and he's like yeah I guess I'll try.
I'd smack him if I could reach him.

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I just can't take it anymore fellas.

I've been in university for 5 years and hate my major, cannot even complete simple projects without weeks of struggling with stress and anxiety of failing piling up.

I'm 60k in debt, I've changed majors 3 times, I have no friends, I'm not smart, I have no one to talk to about anything, I have no girl I love, the only girl I've talked to in 3 years barely see's me as a friend and we hardly ever have good conversations anymore. I've never had a job, no passion, even video games are boring to me, when I do have free time I just sit staring at my computer screen wishing for something to happen.

I just wanna sleep... and never wake up.

>>36401866
HAHA no, that's where you're wrong pussy. You THINK you are smart and therefore think you can sit and introspectively theorize yourself out of depression but that's what an idiot would do.
Join nearest jiujitsu club and train for 6 months to a year. If you're still not better go to Peru and do ayahuasca (at a good centre, research well before).
If that still doesn't work then we can talk.
Do it.

>>36401967
just let him kill himself

>>36402036

I would hang out with you anon

>>36402038
can't i buy that shit online?

>>36401775
I don't understand why you must limit yourself to explaining why you committed suicide, or more aptly intend to do so, or why you shouldn't try and explore the idea more thoroughly where able. In essence I'm looking to expend my last "life energy" on something. My only remaining shred of self worth lay in my ability to think and collate that thought with the ruminations of better men. It might be a spergy mess that only my remaining family care to read, or take anything from, or it may be of wider interest - I shouldn't find out, after all.

What you're talking about can simply be dealt with in the foreword.

>Because they work
In the way a good labourer toils and is ignored.

>>36401796
I may wish I could be that hopefully optimistic, I'm not sure, but I'm not.

>>36402148
>What you're talking about can simply be dealt with in the foreword.
>Because they work
>In the way a good labourer toils and is ignored.
In English?

>>36402106
Yes, but I would say it's better to go to a good centre where a shaman can guide you when shit goes bad (because an intense ayahuasca trip almost certainly will, especially if you're depressed, but that's part of a potential "cure").

Doing it alone is harder. You can still because the plant medicine is obviously the most important thing. But I wouldn't recommend it for someone unexperienced, and especially not an unexperienced individual that's depressed and suicidal.

And even when going to a good shamanic centre, make sure to be well read on the substance, so you at least now the basics well.

>>36401967
>but this boy has potential
That's what they all say. As though the conditions which consistently lead his mind to thoughts of suicide are some burden to be tossed aside and not intrinsic to his being.

That's not to say he necessarily should do it but people's perspective is very off and they then wonder why they struggle to "get through" to us.

Why do I think of apocalypse now? This is the end my friend the end

>>36401669
>Implying Shlomo Shekelstein will let you do that
Only the top few percent of humans will be allowed to transcend.

>>36402036
All I can do to help you is offer you my own failings for comparison.

I didn't even go through all that struggle so you're stronger than me. I dropped out within the first month and resigned myself to the most mundane existence imaginable.

>>36401615
I have a physical defect in my brain anon, I literally can't function like you.

>>36402252
Yeah but I think his perspective is off! I mean of course it is, he has severe depression but you know. His issue is that he doesn't think about his life situation until something arises that he can't just ignore it, like the money for a concert thing. If he were to actively list everything wrong in his life (which he can't seem to do, because he doesn't notice until it's pointed out) then chances are he'd act on it. In this past I'd say X is a problem for you, he'd be like hm, maybe it is. Situation arises where X is clearly shown to be a problem, so he fixes it, like that. He can exert self control, and he's stopped drinking, he's dropped toxic friends and all that.
But like with this sleeping thing, he'll say "yeah I guess it isn't good", but until he misses an exam or other important event BECAUSE he was sleeping, then he won't change.

>>36399370
>Swim out to sea as far as i can until i'm too tired to swim back
That's scary as hell man just use a gun if your gonna kill yourself

>>36402036
All I can do to help you is offer you my own failings for comparison.

I didn't even go through all that struggle so you're stronger than me. I dropped out within the first month and resigned myself to the most mundane existence imaginable. If nothing else you can say with pride you have greater fortitude than me.

>>36400395

I hope no one feeds your shitty cat dumb cat owner kys

>>36399973
Mine is just 10 words: "I'll see you on the dark side of the moon"

>>36402281
No you fucking conspiracy retard. Get tired of this dummy shit. Good luck stopping evolution. Even if this is how it would happen in the start, these people would increase in intelligence so fast they would be thousands of times smarter than a person really really fast.
That will mean human instincts and motives also will change.

To the new machine intelligence other biological beings will be a processing tool resource and will likely "want" our brains to join the collective.

The world will change forever and who is in charge at the initial stage won't matter, because "in charge" will mean nothing after this event takes place.

You fucking "the jews" people are so fucking retarded you don't even know. You see all these differences between different races of humans, but then expect motives to remain the same when a form of life completely changes to something new.

The jews somehow remain "the jeeews" after becoming a planetary super intelligence.

It's all in the Talmud maaan, it's prophecy. It's like the mark of the best brooo. They want to imprison us and like make us build pyramids for them. The jews like have this grand masterplan to become transhuman and they control it all broo.

Suck ass.

>>36402456
And what makes you think any of us will be part of this?

>>36402336
Wow, now that's different, man.
Some bad shit and there I really can't give any advice but to hold out.
What if you could hold out and medical solutions in 1-2 decades could save you and make you feel better than ever?
Would that possibility make things worth living meanwhile?

I mean maybe you even could do heroin or something meanwhile to hold out.

>>36402186
I'm suggesting there's a limited value to something which simply 'works' and that there's more potential in writing than mere utility.

Why not try and leave something more widely impactful than just making the coroner's job easier.

>>36402483
What do you mean?
Do you mean like seen to time, as in if we're alive to see it happen?
Well, it seems very likely to me.
Ray Kurzweil thinks the singularity will be 2045. Is he right? I don't know. Seems like a pretty good estimation, however. Could be before, could be after. But my own guess would be he won't be off by too much.

And singularity/transhumanism/AI aside, the VR technology now hitting the markets will improve incredibly the coming years.
Already around 2030 the VR simulations will probably will be almost indistinguishable from actual reality (visually speaking).
So, a lot of crazy shit coming unless we're hit by an asteroid or nuclear war.
Yall should be excited about all the coming happenings.

>>36400272
Please attach go pro and live stream

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I'm scared friends. I held the knife to my wrist again today but I was scared of the pain and scared of failure.
Someone help me not be so afraid, please.
I just want to go.

>>36402432

>kys

i'm trying but

>2 years ago
>hear strange high noise out front, go check
>tiny black kitten mewing at front gate, no older than 6 weeks
>carefully approach and pick him up, he's terrified, take him inside
>he curls up on couch whilst i go buy some kitten milk
>that night he sleeps on my pillow
>never named him, still to this day just called "kitten" cause i figured he belonged to one of the neighbors, or if not i'd find him a more suitable owner than me
>but that never happened, he just stuck around
>never fully grew or matured, probably due to awful start in life, but he's healthy enough
>the responsibility of having to feed him is probably the only reason i'm not currently dead or in prison

how long do cats live?

I've turned 30 now so no chance of turning things around. Dont want my mum to outlive me though.

>>36402635
You have to keep living for the cat.
Do it for the cat.

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only reason I'm still here is because I dont want to give people who hate me the smug satisfaction of hearing I died. at least I can continue to be a hermit and study magic.

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I literally am suffering 24/7
>randomly start crying and hating my life, going out wanting to kms
>next day i feel better
>next day i feel like shit again, i mean non depressed people can't even get this, you are from now to the next moment in total hopelessness like you are trapped in an eternal circle of suffering, and you know it's never going to and and that the whole world including you is doomed no matter what you do

This phases of suffering are killing me, its the most extreme horrendous pain i ever felt, it never was that bad since a week ago.

>22
>neet
>no friends since 15
>extreme social anxiety
>generalized anxiety disorder, going out is hard as fuck, mind is always partying with sick thoughts of possible happenings in my surroundings
>feel like a alzheimer's affected person
>know my suffering, know i can never do normie stuff
>this kills the man.png

Life is like a labyrinth, you think there is an exit to the suffering, but when seeing the light at the end, hope, it's just the hellfire that greets you at the beginning again

>>36402633
do the train, its cool, you see the big penis shaped thing about to penetrate your whole body into pieces

>>36400462
your not going to kill yourself. but I do hope you get better

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Who wants to kill themselves instead of moping around about it, I want to go out at least with someone. I have a few financial things to setup first before I go, but it'll be happening within the next 3-4 months. I'll be posting on r9k daily till then, if interested reply and drop a throwaway. Thanks.

>>36404692
Hey I'm game, I plan to die around then. kik?

>>36399370
>Or to just swim out to sea as far as I can until I'm too tired to swim back.
sounds romantic but would probably be terrifying irl.

>>36405087
[email protected] is my email

make a throwaway and email me and I'll make a Kik later for you im tired

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>>36399285
22 and done. When I'm done writing my novel I'm going to do a 1000ug acid trip alone and kms the following day. I'm aiming for a christmas suicide, writing everyday. Need to get this out the way.

>>36404564
I feel the same way, anon. I have no prospect of making friends because of past issues, yet I still feel lonely. I have 1 close friend and the thought of fucking it up or them leaving is awful.

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I could never go out alone. Me and a close friend are in similar situations and we plan on killing our self with each other. Nothing is worth it, anons. Only reason I haven't done it is because of her.

>>36399285
hey man just put one foot in front of the other and soon you will find purpose in life

whats up anon ?
''origano origamo ''

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>>36399285
School got me fucked up fr fr
I'm tired of living, cant do shit, im 14, so no job, no car, no money, so i can't do shit except play vidya, beat off, and bmx with friends on occasion. Life aint /that/ bad, but bad, and boring. And then with school, I blow everything off, causing shitty grades.

This shit skressful bruh fr

Kill me pls

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>>36399973
Mines just gonna say "I'm done".

>>36406324
you're just cringing way to hard anon
'' ori

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>>36406639
piss off faggot at least you're not fat and autistic, your problems are miniscule

>>36401251
I feel exactly the same. The problem at the core is civilization itself. I really wish I was born in a hunter gatherer tribe. It makes me depressed at how we have and are completely destroying nature.

>Been in a state of apathy for a long time now
>Not too bothered about living or dying
>Suddenly start getting better a few weeks ago
>Feel like I might actually makes some progress in life
>At the same time feel like ending it more than in a long time
It's like energy suddenly returned to life, and that energy is enough to push me into considering it.
If I do it I really don't want to fail again though. Being forced to go to a psych ward is fucking horrible.