Which are you, robots? Most "Slytherins" are just

>>36395400
>going to Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and normalfaggotry

I'm a rogue mage
or that dude who sells contraband like mythical beasts and shit

when i took the official test i got gryffindor so i guess i wont fight it. then again it also gave me a 4 inch brittle dick so im not sure i can trust it really.

>>36395400
Hufflepuff is the true robot class.

Probably Slytherin except I don't actually have friends anymore.
It doesn't actually preclude being an asshole, Slytherin implies a manipulator or problems and opportunities, where Gryfindor confronts, Ravenclaw analyses, and Hufflepuff acquiesces. It's just that the series was written by a kinda retarded middle-aged woman who mostly through down characters and social mechanisms as after thoughts to comfy scenery and magical doo-dads. She also started to kind of want to fuck Harry Potter or something halfway through, and that really fouled up the whole series.

>>36395400
I got ravenclaw on a random quiz so there's that.
I'll probably be chilling and learning the darkest magicks, though, so I'd be expelled either way.

>>36395426
That'll go pretty shit, magic britbongistan is as authoritative and a state police shithole as irl britbongistan- except they also have fucking magic.
Enjoy Azkeban.

>>36395505
no, the robot class is being a muggle and getting killed by voldemort, unawares

Huffleluff of course, anyone else needs to btfo this board (except maybe Slytherin)

>>36395400
Got Ravenclaw from a quiz some time ago, I dunno. I'd just chill and learn transfiguration and charms, maybe potions

>>36395505
Not really, I'd say robots are somewhere between Ravenclaw and Slytherin, basically :
Gryffindor : Chads/Staceys
Hufflepuff : Stoners
Ravenclaw : Nerds
Slytherin : Supreme gentlemen

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>>36395460
A message to everyone in this thread: You are likely to not actually be in the House you were sorted in on Pottermore.

Seriously, that quiz is absolute shit. I don't know how that happened, considering Jo wrote it herself, but it's a shit quiz.
It asks you abstract questions that have NOTHING TO DO with determining what attributes you have, and the answers are completely fucking biased. Like she purposely made it so Slytherin was extremely difficult to get, for example. Not even people who are otherwise very Slytherin will get it.

It's really sad how so many people took that quiz and walked away thinking they were actually in that House. It's just an online quiz. And a fucking horrible one too.

If you want to know what House you'd ACTUALLY be in, take a look at yourself. Personality traits are only part of it, and what matters most is your personal choice. Meaning, you will not be a Ravenclaw if you have zero traits from that House, and only want to be in it because you like it. But if you do have SOME of those traits, and you legitimately value Ravenclaw traits above ll others, and want to be one, then you are one.

>>36395659
All houses can be bots, they're just very different bots.
Gryffindorbot- /pol/ crossposter, sees most normies as degenerate and obscene, considers self as doing everything right and thinks those fucking normies are at fault. Particularly protective of board culture, constantly telling people to get out

Hufflepuffbot- beta weenie, Apu poster, drawfag. /co/ crossposter, blames self for robothood. most viable for sexual deviancy and will post in hightest or trap threads. actually tries to ask """fembots""" to be his gf

Ravenclawbot- "smart but lazy", /a/ and /v/ crossposter. more likely to have a job than the other houses, even less likely to have a gf. gets into long-winded autistic debates.

Slytherinbot- edgy fag. /8ch/ crossposter. Has redirected sadness and loneliness into rage. Least likely to ascend to normiedom because they've convinced themselves that they prefer being angry and alone.

>>36395400
I feel like I could be any of them.
>stubborn and hotheaded like a gryffindor
>compassionate and passive like a hufflepuff
>intelligent and curious like a ravenclaw
>driven, outspoken and manipulative like a slytherin
Personally I'd probably prefer ravenclaw because the other houses kinda just leave them alone and I'd be surrounded by other smart people, but other than that I'd probably fit in well anywhere.

>>36395400
Well, I need the fucking hat to identify myself.
If this >>36395912 guy is right maybe I'm a failed failed Ravenclaw with identity problems

>>36395400
Slytherin and proud. I don't have a problem with other houses though, and I feel like the books are Gryffindor propaganda that's forever ruined the perception of us sneks.

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>>36395912
>tfw edgy smart but lazy /co/ crossposter who sees normies as degenerates

Got Ravenclaw when I took it.

Here are my classifications:

Gryffindor: Chads, Staceys, le ebin neckbeards
Hufflepuff: Outcasts, stoners, anime-watchers
Ravenclaw: Anyone successful in STEM or academics, nerds, smart and lazy
Slytherin: edgelords, genuinely bad people, anyone successful in finance

>>36396040
>Gryffindor propaganda
>implying there's some vested political agenda
>implying any of this has any bearing on the real world
>implying anyone gives a shit apart from some autists
>implying sneks aren't actually just terrible people
>implying

>>36396148
t.Godric

>>36395400
None of them. I don't embody any of the values.

So I would have gone into Hufflepuff.

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>took test on Pottermore
>got Slytherin
am i the bad guy, bots?

>>36395505
>Hufflepuff

Hufflepuff is secretly the most badass group.
They are as brave as Gryffindor, but they are much more humble.

>>36396177
Oh shit he's on to us

original

>>36396193
>as brave as Gryffindor
fake news
>much more humble
very fake news

>>36396189
No, don't believe that simplistic view. Not every member of our house is a Malfoy. The key characteristic of a Slytherin is potential for greatness, often accompanied by ambition or a desire to exert one's will on the world around them. That sometimes leads Slytherins down the wrong paths but with a clear head and strong conviction, you can avoid such a fate and realize your goals.

>>36396189
Nay, slytherin are a proud house of tradition and history. Hold your head high and claim the world through your cunning and intelligence. The world is ours! Praise Merlin!

>>36396193
This.

You see the thing is, most Hufflepuffs probably ARE a bunch of losers. I mean, if you aren't brave, intelligent or ambitious, they put you in Hufflepuff.

But Hufflepuff also has the most badass people in the wizarding world. Wanna know why?
They're subtle, they don't draw attention to themselves. But they also value hard work. If you value hard work more than anything else, then you become more STRONGER than everyone else.

There must be a minority of Hufflepuffs who are complete fucking badasses.

>>36396271
>>36396286
Well the thing is Im a lazy as fuck phlegmatic dude like most of /r9k/ so I got pretty suprised that it sent me to the most ambitious house.

>>36395400
None of them.
That's why I will be a robot even in the fucking magic school.

>>36395665
> I'd say robots are somewhere between Ravenclaw and Slytherin
this

as you all know, almost all illimunati members, war lords, CEOs, scientists, criminals, assasins, CIA agents and serial killers browse r9k

ravenclaw owling in.

> tfw no hufflepuff bf ;__;

oregano

Slytherin according to Pottermore (I think because I am very conniving all the time?).

But I appreciate the values of Hufflepuff the most and afaic, its the only house with any business existing.

>>36395400
When did i get on tumblr

Does this sound right? For the majority of cases of course, not for everybody.

>Ravenclaw
IxTP (Introverted thinkers, likely to wander around)

>Gryffindor
ESFx (Typically-extroverted chads who are all about muh justice)

>Hufflepuff
xSFx (What's a Hufflepuff?)

>Slytherin
xSTJ (Ambitious thinkers who may be introverted or extroverted)

>>36396815
Where would an INFJ with slight INTJ tendencies fit in famalam

>>36396834
Dumbledore is the archetype of an INFJ, and he even had INTJ tendencies, and Rowling is INFJ too, so Gryffindor.

INTJ itself would probably be stereotyped as Slytherin though.

>>36396271
Slytherin House doesn't say "values civil disobedience" on the can, but it's sort of implied one of the qualities is being malicious.

Consider: We've never actually seen a Slytherin in the ENTIRE series that wasn't an asshole. The only exception (sort of) is Slughorn, but he's obviously manipulative as fuck and his kindness only extends to people who can do or give something to him.

The only other outliers are Merlin, Tonk's mother, and Regulus Black.

>Merlin
It always seemed like a Slytherin lie that Merlin was in Slytherin to me, like they made it so they could claim him. If he WAS a Slytherin, he was probably alive while the founders were alive. Meaning Salazar saw his obvious ambition and picked him, but he can't read minds like the Hat, so Merlin might not have really belonged there. Salazar probably would have scooped up Dumbledore too if he could.

>Tonk's mom
So yeah, she sounds super cool. Best candidate for Slytherin Who's Actually Not An Asshole award. She was a Black, but she denounced her parents and married a muggle man. She's described as Sirius's favorite cousin. Being as we barely met her though, it's impossible to tell if she also kicked puppies in her spare time or something.

>Regulus
He's described as a naive idiot. He's also named after the "Heart of the Lion" star in the constellation Leo. It basically means that he belonged in Gryffindor, not Slytherin. The only reason he was one was because he was a fool who loved his racist parents and did whatever they told him, so when he had the Hat on he asked for it to put him in Slytherin. He later grew up and defunked from Voldemort, finally realizing his family was evil.

There's also the fact that Rowling's...y'know...religious. You have GODric Gryffindor and GODric's Hollow, versus the House with a serpent representative.

Apparently it's an unstated rule that you have to be, if not evil, then a sinner of some kind to get into Slytherin House.