Do you think you'd be here if you weren't raised

>>36376719
Not raised by a single mum but dad and mum were never around. Dad confronted me for being gay today, haven't felt this shitty in years. In the end why should I feel bad for what i am

>>36376719
Absolutely not. If I had been raised by my dad I would have a job, friends and a future. I hate my mom for spoiling me, I hate her fucking guts

>>36376719
No. My Dad has more life experience than mom. Mom never went to College and was raised by poor dumb parents.

I can't tell for sure how things would've been, obviously. But fathers force you to do shit, mom coddled me.

>>36376719
fuck no. all the shit happening is because i got no dad.

I was raised in a healthy, nuclear household by two loving parents.

My issues are my own fault.

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>Parents were both attractive and popular in highschool
>Mother was offered to be a model
>They had me when they were 18
>They went from working class to top 1% during my first few years of life
>Give me the best tutoring money can buy

>MFW despite all of this I am an autistic loser

I was raised by a single father. It sucked.

>>36376719
I wasn't raised by a single mother, I was raised by my grandparents.

But no I think no matter who raised me I would be here because I was born autistic.

I know I wouldn't be here. My mom was a lazy cunt who was too busy getting high and fucking random assholes to look after any of her kids.

If my father hadn't left I'd probably be more confident and he probably wouldn't have come back to beat me in my later childhood and teens, I have no sense of security now so I'm constantly scared of others and lash out before they can lash at me.
I hate myself for being alive, can't wait to die. Mom's boyfriends never seemed to like me either despite me trying to be a good and quiet kid. I can't remember them ever trying to interact with me much.

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No. I still saw my dad frequently and he didn't really help my self esteem at all. I had a tendency to always feel nervous around him and unable to really relax and be myself. I was never like that with my mom, and I still feel like I can be myself around her.

The only thing my mom gave me is an oedipus complex.

>>36376719
I wasn't raised by a single mother, so yes.

>>36377923
>The only thing my mom gave me is an oedipus complex.
Is she hot?

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>>36377990
She's cute to me, but I'm attracted to semi-average looking moms so it depends on your tastes.

I wanna squeeze her cute butt desu

My mother is an intelligent and empowered woman that did the best she could and all I can't thank her enough for trying her best.

>>36376719
My father is an almost 60yr old man child with no friends. I wish he'd left. I wish my mother left too. She raised me to be a paranoid anxious robot.

I wish I was raised in a children's home. My parents were both shit people unequipt to be parents. They hated each others guts and would argue every few days. My dad would throw shit around then scream and leave and come back 10 minutes later and sit down then my mother would bully him for a whole hour while he sat there having autistic tantrums and murmuring. They bullied me never to tell anyone about it and brainwashed me not to trust anyone because they would 'take me away' if they found out. Now I have limited social skills, trust issues and want to kill myself every day.

>>36376719
Even when I had a dad I was mentally ill and bullied at school. How the fuck would the bullies know my parents divorced?

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>>36376719

>tfw raised by a single mother
>tfw graduated valedictorian and in the top 1 percent of wealth
>tfw want to blow my brains out every day

>>36376719
No. But as an aside, I'd probably want to have kids if I weren't raised by a single parent. I'm in my late 20's and still getting my life together and don't see myself being a responsible/capable parent.

>>36376719
My parents are still married and my dad was around but he didn't do shit to raise me. I don't get it, he's a hardass republican hunting guide but he was fine with letting me be a depressed faggy shut in. I think he's autistic.

>>36378358
He sounds a bit like my dad. I'll let you in on a tip. It's because that's the only way he'll have control over your life.

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dad ded
it's been 17 years and I still don't know how to process it. I have just a handful of years and I'll be as old as he was

was thinking today how I feel like half a person and I wondered if it was because I never got dad input while I was growing into an adult. or I'm just a useless slug. it's all the same

my dad wasn't a nice guy. he was high-powered, rage-fueled perfectionism. I don't understand how he could have turned out to be so mortal. I had thought the steel-hard case of his mind would be able to eat a bullet, or at least nobody had the balls to shoot him to see for themselves

it drives me crazy not knowing more about him. I have such clear memories of him- yelling at me to find my f---ing shoes, the clarity and awareness in his eyes, his hate-fueled pummeling of mundane objects which didn't want to bend to his will that left his knuckles torn and bloody, being rinsed in a sink, while he'd explain to me the rational physics of how the skin tears. But I don't know WHO he was.

I've copied him. I bruised and clawed my way into dangerous, uncomfortable places and to the top of workplaces. and as soon as nobody is looking, I drop the act and fall into despair, face down on the ground trying to reason with myself to not go eat razors and kill myself. whatever drove my dad forward is a secret to me, where his energy came from I just don't understand. I'm just a poor imitation

I wouldn't be here if I weren't raised by a single mother.

>>36376719
My parents were too busy fighting to raise me. I was raised by you guys. Been here since just after they split up, that was 9 years ago.

>>36378745
You have the worst parental guardians in the world.

>>36378784
>>36378745
>Tfw been browsing 4chan since I was 11
You guys are basically the closest I've got to real friends.

>>36376719
No, my dad would've taught me to become a normie with a fulfilling life

>>36378828
I've been here since I was 16. I don't even know how fucked up I would be if I had been here since I was 11. In those days I was going in teen chat rooms trying to "cyber" with "girls." I'm glad this place didn't exist then. My experience on the primitive pre-social media Internet of those days was great.

>>36378983
I've been here since 13, it was during the last good days of /b/

when you go on 4chan that young you get desensitized to gore, animal abuse and horrible BDSM fiction stories involving concrete rather quickly. You also hate women and blacks for the rest of your life, guaranteed

>>36376719
>have sole custody of your kid for twenty years
>somehow never teach him to stand up for himself within that time
>not even after you see him getting pushed around by bullies in the park with your own two eyes
>he develops into a scared, meek, spineless faggot doormat
>whenever he tries to stand up for himself in an argument with you, make him feel guilty for doing so and punish him even when he's right
>hundreds of hours of therapy later, wonder to yourself why your kid is a failure
Women cannot raise men.

>>36378983
If it makes you feel any better I was already kind of fucked up by the time I found 4chan anyways.

>>36379093
I can't really remember when I found this place but I've started to make myself feel when I see gore and animals abuse etc. I try to force it because I need to feel something. I agree with the hating on niggers and shit though but I hate anyone who can't be a civilized human being.

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>dad shot by cops
>Mom raised me most of my life
>Managed to leave /r9k/ after I stopped being beta years ago
>Come back to help those here once in a while
Some anon helped me, I'll help others. Mainly come for my unifeels now

>>36379186
> I've started to make myself feel when I see gore and animals abuse

maybe laying off would help. I was in a rekt thread on /gif/ after a whole year without looking at gore intentionally and I was caught off guard by a webm of a methhead tearing off pieces of his eyeball or something

>>36379334
I don't seek it out much but if I want to feel it has to be startling enough to me that I can force my reaction. Doesn't make much sense but I've stopped feeling anything other than depressed or angry. Vidya does nothing for me and I'll get angry enough that I'll nearly destroy my possessions maybe an upwards of 10 times a day. The anger is almost instant too, I've nearly hurt people for tiny slights, so I try to feel something other than those two emotions on here so I can carry them over in life.

>>36379445
what's making you so angry anon? Do you have some sort of condition?

>>36379887
>what's making you so angry anon? Do you have some sort of condition?
Just depressed for so long it's turned into something else. If I have a condition then it's undiagnosed. I've had strong urges since I was younger to inflict violence upon others but didn't act on them too much, I've always had a mind for war though. I've been an insomniac since I was about 7-8 and would imagine battles across my ceiling since I wasn't aloud out of bed after a certain time. Now I have to be wary if I imagine anything because I'll start to move without realizing it, depending on what I'm thinking of.

>>36377484
Being gay is a dysfunction, and the fact you turned out that way shows how badly not having your family there for you affected you

>>36379987
yeah doesn't sound normal to me. Except the daydreaming about war, I do it everyday and plenty of other people do. As a kid I was obsessed with the concept of a one-man army and still am tbqh

>>36380077
I think a lot of men do, I just have to be wary because if I see myself as a soldier then I'll actually start to move around in my seat or around the space I'm in. Think shadow boxing or something similar, but it's not always intentional. I've hit a few things before since I didn't catch myself in time. I think it's a strong desire to not be me.

>>36380303
sounds like you're on the spectrum, or you have some sort of brain disease

>>36380426
If it helps, I'm a sociopath. I'm capable of making friends but I don't want them because being around people drains the energy out of me. I hope it's a brain disease though, fuck that spectrum.

>>36380515
>If it helps, I'm a sociopath. I'm capable of making friends but I don't want them because being around people drains the energy out of me.

You don't sound like a sociopath in the slightest. You just sound like you have psychotic tendencies. Also I relate to that second sentence, about the draining thing and I am schizoid.

>>36380582
I'm just capable socially is all. I know how to act around others but to me that's all it is, acting. I can't ever speak my mind because people don't like to hear it, being it some psychotic thought or me obsessing over their flaws (which is all I focus on around people) so I opt to just not talk. I think a lot of people just kept me around because I was nice but I learned they didn't care much for what I had to say so i cut contact. No fun to feel like an accessory, now I just picture my demise and hope it happens soon.

>>36380718
Once again I really relate to all of that, except the anger. Standard troubled teen/young adult affair here otherwise

>>36380890
Well I've tried letting it go too, the anger that is but I just comes back and I often want to destroy things when it does. I've just opted to try and keep it in check so I won't cause property damage.

>>36378311
Gimme them credit card codes then ur good to go friendo

Both yes and no. My dad was a physically and emotionally abusive alcoholic. He never even tried to teach me how to be a man, he just beat the everliving shit out of me and my siblings and just taught me how to hate myself. If it wasn't for his death, then I probably would've killed myself before I graduated high school.

Both my parents have always been there for me, yet im still depressed, I think about suicide everyday but ill probably be succesfull despite me grades being temporarily shit, but in the end i just dont know if living is worth it

If my mom left my shitty, violet dad, then maybe I wouldn't be here

>>36376719
Does it count as "raised by a single mother" if I saw my father every Thursday and every other weekend? This has always confused me and I need it clarified.

>>36377703
seme, my family is great and i dont fit in at all

>>36378225
Are you a girl? You sound like someone I know

>>36376719
STOP REMINDING ME OF THE OTHER TIMELINE
FUCK

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>>36379308
I'm on the border. Mostly everyone thinks I'm normie, I have slight chad looks even. I have 2 friends, one used to be normie and failed the last year, the other is a leddit normie who has a gf.
I'm 19 so in a way theres still time but I'm getting fucking spooked. Honestly I never not for a fucking moment thought I'd make it past 17 still a virgin, and then I did, and then another month, and another and another and fuck 18 and another month and another and fuck it this month I'm just gonna do it nope another month another another another fuck im 19...this is the month...ok next...ok next...ok next...ok next...ok next...ok...im fucking losing hope.

any advice? ;_;

>>36382238
Here's my advice. You might not like it, but here it is.

you cannot lose at a game you chose not to play. Don't kill yourself, but don't live your life either; live life free of pain and pleasure, and your virginity will be the last thing on your mind

>>36382289
Virginity is the source of pain for 99% of meme depressed robots on here

>>36382342
yes and? you're not a robot. You have friends, good looks and are pretty fucking young still

>>36376719
Does it count as being raised by a single mother if you lived with your mother all the time except during school holidays (during school holidays I lived with dad) and if your mother had a new man, i.e. your stepdad?

>>36382289
Bullshit. I already mastered that. A life without pain or pleasure is just a placeholder for life.

this is eating away at me

every


fucking


day

every

fucking

day
e
everyFUCKING DAY

YO FUCKING UBNDERSATND?

EITHER YOU LOST YOUR ALREADY

OR YOURE AUTISTIC IN SOME WAY THAT ACTUALLY ALLOWS YOU TO BE TRULY HAPPY WITHOUT IT

Look I'm mostly pretty happy. But the thing is I have no intimacy, I am alone at the core. Friends are not the same, and the friends I do have I barely have. the leddit one is a coworker I doubt we'll stay in contact when I leave.

I will note, the normie, he's failing because up until this point he always had a gf, his happiness relied on having a gf.

sometimes I feel like this is an exchange of sorts

like if you actually are slightly smart and think about the universe and understand your place in it and all the joys of the rest of life, somehow you're not allowed to lose virginity for awhile

Sex and money are all normies really have, I guess

fuck
I dunnow man

it really isn't about virginity at all

I just want to wake up and see another face, a face that knows who I am. and to know who that face is and their own life and pain and pleasure and struggle. fucking hell man.

>tfw no gf

Having found out who my dad was at 17, it would have been preferable to have been raised by him. He's a successful business man, a good father to his legitimate family, and a all around alpha.
My mom isn't a bad person per se. She is actually very strong willed and hard working. She was able to pull herself out of poverty into the middle class(with some help from her family of course). When it came to raising me though, she was a complete failure.
In my younger years, she would beat me with a ping pong paddle, a belt, or anything of the like. This is considered standard discipline I think, but I'm not so sure. She'd also threaten me to either beat me with a 2x4, send me off the military school, or put me up for adoption if I didn't shape up. I had anger problems that stemmed from my resentment at not having a father figure.Thinking about it, the best thing for her to do would have been sending me to military school.
Then when I grew older she stopped the physical punishment, but the verbal threats where still there. Not only that, she would also constantly tell me to be scared of the outside world. "It's a terrible place, and you have to be careful to not get killed" would be the usual thing she said whenever it came up. I guess I can't really blame her for that, but hearing that constantly throughout your teens has an effect on you. Add on the fact that she lied to me about who my father was my entire life and now you have the anger ridden, paranoid individual I am today.
To top it all off, she never actually pushed me to better myself. There were the times where she dished out physical discipline, but she never explained what I did wrong and just expected me to already know, even though I was just a stupid kid. Besides that, she just sheltered me and never properly encouraged me to acheive anything in life. This led me to becoming a pathetic sack of shit.
1/2

>>36382406
Thanks for the compliments anon. You're a pretty good guy yourself.

>>36382589
2/2
I am not even sure I can actually change myself for the better. Maybe I can, but every time I've tried I've always came up short. Due the environment I was placed in, I'm not sure it's possible. I want it to be. I want to be a successful man, and I am sentient and capable of self reflection, so change should theoretically be possible.
Like I said though, I'm not sure. There are days where I think I should of just been aborted and saved the trouble of worrying about this thing called life. But that's a defeatist attitude, and I want to be better damn it! Better than the man child my mother accidentally created.

>>36382567
nobody has any intimacy. love and friendship exist in movies and anime only.
women will use you for shit and so will friends. not to say you can't benefit from it (the best relationships are -mutually- beneficial) but yeah every man is an island, so you should accept right now that you'll be existentially alone in your own skull for the rest of this life. don't expect to fill that void with another human ever, a gf won't fulfill it either, you can learn it the hard way if you want.

>>36376719
I was raised by both my parents but my dad hit me a lot

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>>36382567
>OR YOURE AUTISTIC IN SOME WAY THAT ACTUALLY ALLOWS YOU TO BE TRULY HAPPY WITHOUT IT

Yeah, I am. You figured me out. Feels good to be dysfunctional sometimes. But at the same time the guilt keeps me up at night, the guilt and shame and frustration of missing out on such a rich realm of pain, one that is almost essential to the human experience. I wanna know what it's like to yearn for company, even if I never get it.

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>>36382693
SHUT UP YOURE WRONG YOURE WRONG YOURE WRONG SHUT UP

>>36380035
Do the world a good favor and kill yourself, shitbag.

>>36382567
I concur with this anon >>36382693

The best lesson you can get out of life is to become content with yourself. This is a lesson I'm still trying to learn myself, but it's the saving grace for people like us. Become content with yourself since you only have yourself till you die.

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>>36376719
My case was even worse, I was raised by my grandparents, from a strict religious background, so I wasted the best years of my life living in a bubble, while my family had deluded expectations about my own intellectual capabilities, investing way too much in studies than in other important aspects in life (like exercising, practicing a sport, especially if it's around fighting).

So then I ended up being a person modestly educated but without talent, while having a loser, coward personality.

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>>36379093
I don't get why you hate all of us. Some of us are civilized, even though I'm basically an oreo.