Has anyone else here been depressed for so long that you just

>>36307315
Yeah.
I don't even want to kill myself anymore.
It's odd.

>>36307315
>>36307508
This.
At any given moment, I'm just waiting for the day to end. I'm not really here.

>>36307315
Occasionally I'll get a wave of incredible sadness, which is usually when I'm closest to going through with suicide. But other than that I'm most numb. Last night I saw that my old oneoitis got in a relationship with my old best friend and it didn't even phase me. I've accepted that my life is proof of Murphy's law, and that I should just live with it.

>>36307544
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZq_jeYsbTs
im not here
this isnt really happening

>>36307315
>Has anyone else here been depressed for so long that you just don't feel any emotions anymore?

I still feel rage

Yeah, baisically I don't give a fuck anymore it actually makes living bareable again

>>36307315
Knowing that I cannot improve my situation gives me a sense of bliss and comfort.

It is not a condition that I would ever want to leave. I'm happy just staying here.

>>36307315
I still feel emotions. Just not any of the good ones. Life is a chore.

>>36307627
it's getting to be where being angry takes way too much effort. I'm not really mad anymore. Just sad.

>get GF
>it doesn't feel as much as I assumed it would

I am scared and feel bad at the same time.

>>36307824
You can't pin your hopes of life getting better on a GF, man. Before you take care of someone else, you gotta take care of yourself

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141KB, 500x500px

>>36307315
I feel regret, broken up with sadistic amusement and envy for non-autists in the form of disgust. These feelings are all very dull though, like I'm sensing the instruction to feel a certain way but just don't have the emotional energy carry it out.
I don't think I've had any strong feelings since early childhood. Not even depression.

Been depressed for basically my whole life and I still feel emotions. (mostly, okay pretty much all, bad)

>>36307627
this holy shit
I lost my 7th job over the course of 10 years because of my temperament (I'm 29).

I just can't help it. I'm usually a really chill guy, almost autistic. But even the tiniest, most stupid thing can spark a fire inside me and I just burst with rage shittalking everyone around me.

Sometimes I'll stay months chill and quiet, sometimes even happy. But then it all comes crashing down.

Afterwards it's just numbness and regret
>inb4 just change urself bro
Yeah, I've been trying for years now.

>>36307917

I know, I was aware of that before. The whole GF thing was a miracle and I already gave up on life before that. That seems to be a common misconception on here. People think that getting a GF will solve all of their problems. It might make it worse, depending on what kind of person they are and what outlook on life they have.

I am just concerned now. Sometimes I do get a shallow burst of good feelings, but it feels like there's a blanket over them, preventing them to fully expand. I know for a fact that love should feel stronger, but it's like my mind won't let me.