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>be me
>mommy's big 550lb boy
>sleeping soundly in my crib next to my tipsy cow with the hole in her poopoo maker
>dreaming of tendie land where ronald and wendy feed me tendies atop mount tendie where i rule as king tendie
>my slumber is interrupted by my sister stacy
>she barges in with a can of deodorant and a peg on her nose
"Wake the fuck up, Anon we're going on vacation!"
>let out a post sleep poopoo directly into my Garfield onesie
"YOU WOKE THE BABY FROM HSI SLUMBER, NOW KING TENDIE HAS YOUR NUMBER!"
"Anon, we don't have time for this shit. We have to be at the Airport in an hour. Mom is losing her shit!"
"TRAVLLING TODAY ARE WE TO TENDIE LAND JUST US THREE!?"
*snort* Sure Anon, we're going to fucking "Tendie Land" Now get your retarded ass up we have to be in the car in 10 minutes! And for fucks sake get a fucking shower!"
"TRAVEL TO TENDIE LAND SHALL I AND REIGN AS KING UNTIL I DIE!"
>we drive to the airport with the windows rolled down
>other cars on the freeway swerve to avoid my stench
>we arrive at the airport and get on the plane
>get a whole section to myself as no-one will sit with me
>demand that the stewardess put bear in the big blue house on the inflight tv
>dumb normie bitch doesn't even know what it is
>have to jerk my mighty 2 incher to shrek instead
"Ew, gross. Mom, Anon is jerking of in public again!"
"Anon we've talked about this, now put that thing away the meal has arrived!"
>oh well, at least the tend king shall receive his tendies
"Here you are sir, a delicious Shepherds Pie."
>wut
"Just eat it Anon, Jesus..."
>REEEEEEEEEEEEE
"KIND TENDIE DOES NOT WITH TO TRY THIS PALTRY DISH OF SHEPHERDS PIE! FETCH ME TENDIES RIGHT AWAY OR I SHALL HAVE YOU KILLED, OKAY?!"
>she runs away sobbing
>that bitch mommy knows just what to do
>she grabs my chubby thumb and sticks it in my mouth
>i drift off into a soothing slumber
>i dream of tendie land once again, but soon i shall experience the real thing
>i awake just as we land
(cont.)
>>
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>>36289363
>the pilot informs us that we have landed at london gatwick
>hmm that doesn't sound like tendie land
>perhaps we have to carpool
>as we leave the airport it becomes apparent that something is very wrong
>where is honey mustard valley? choccy milkshake falls? mount tendie?
"Hurry the fuck up, Anon, we're going to visit Buckingham Palace!"
>a palace! that sounds more like the place for king tendie!
>we arrive
>it's just some dumb grey building with a bunch of marge simpson look a likes mincing outside
>the walls aren't made of breadcrumbs, the doors aren't guarded by grimace
"THE PLACE IS NOT FIT FOR THE KING OF CLUCKS, SO I SHALL DETHRONE THESE IMPOSTER FUCKS!"
"Stop yelling, Anon, Jesus you're so embarrassing!"
>using all of my hard strength a pull the gates from their hinges and make my way to the entrance
>armed guards attempt to tackle me but are incapacitated by my stench
>i barge in and see the queen on her throne
>i teleport behind her, unsheathe my katana and...
>actually i didn't do that but it would've been wicked cool
"What is one doing in one's home?"
"I AM THE KING OF CHICK-FIL-A! AND I'M TAKING OVER YOUR PALACE TODAY!"
"i reach down deep into my onesie, pull out a large dollop of tendie slime and launch it at her face
>it hits her square between the eyes and she drops dead instantly
>i sit upon my throne, reach into my onesie, pull out a burger king crown and place it on my head
>a guard walks in,
>he bows to me
"All hail, King Tendie. Your Mother and Sister are here your Highness what shall I do"
"...Execute them."
"As you wish."
>I can hear their screams
"NO! OH GOD NO! SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!"
"their agonizing screaming jolts me awake
>i'm still on the plane
>the screaming is real
>i look down at my teletubbies digital watch
>the screen reads 9:02 am 9/11/01
>>
OMG!
Where'd you get a teletubbies digital watch?
>>
>>36289363
>>get a whole section to myself as no-one will sit with me
I find it hard to believe you weren't kicked off.
>>
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Quality post
I love this
>>
>>36289363
If this is real get to a fucking therapist ASAP
>>
wow.... thats enough internets for me today o_0
>>
Is this why Britain is so fucked?
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>>36289363
This is amazing
>>36290548
>>36290969
>>36291001
Normalfags get off the site
>>
So you're dead right now typing this?
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>>36289363
gee anon, how come you are posting this from the after life. Do you get free wifi or something up there?
>>
>>36291092
>up there
You mean down there
>>
>>36291092
>>36291074
Holy shit this board has gotten so much worse than I originally thought
>>
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HOLLLLY FUCKING KEK.. HAHAHA.. PUT ME IN THE PLEBBIT POST.
>>
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>tfw next to no-one posting knows tendies stories
>>
>>36291156
>>tfw next to no-one posting knows tendies stories
No you're just getting memed on
>>
>>36290548
>>36290969
>>36291001
>>36291074
>>36291074
>>36291074
>>36291092
This board can no longer understand what a rarity or godsend these threads are? Fuck man.
>>
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>>36291176
warning: this post contains dangerously low levels of irony, please report to the nearest post ironic conditioning center for an intake
>>
>>36291187
Very ironic post lad, enjoy my (You)!
>>
>>36291074
>So you're dead right now typing this?
OP is posting from tendie-heaven.
>>
bumping this thread because good content.
oresadasjgnss
>>
>>36289363
>>36289371
thanks op this was a good read
>>
>>36291572
He should be in veggie purgatory.
>>
>>36290548
>>36290969
>>36291001
You faggots need to get the fuck off our board
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>the state of this board in the current year
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>>36289363
8/10 read too bad so many fucking normans who don't get it
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>>36289363
>tipsy cow with the hole in her poopoo maker
You have good taste in Beanie Babies, OP.
>>
>>36290548
>>get a whole section to myself as no-one will sit with me
They were obviously in first class. People in coach sure as hell aren't served shepherd pie.
Thread posts: 28
Thread images: 8
Thread images: 8