>be 20 >studying photography and video 3k km away from

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Yea you sound like a photography major
Completely impractical and not prepared for the real world

Take some LSD, pussy

You seem like you're very, very self aware. Use it to your advantage man. HELP YOURSELF. Think about yourself for once. You're going through a normal part of growing up. And yes, people who are in college are still MATURING. This is never, ever mentioned. But it's absolutely true.

Maybe get into reading. It will help you be focused. Get your schoolwork done and try very hard to not fail. If you do it's not the end of the world. It doesn't take great intelligence to finish college. It's being focused and working a lot. In general, being on top of your shit is what counts.

Try to realize the freedom you have right now and learn to enjoy it.

>>36271507
my mom absolutely made scenes that i go to med school
>le dream meme
ended up in photography, kinda wanted music but my dad said its too late.
>>36271535
my dad has schizophrenia, i am too pussy to actually risk having the illness triggered.
>>36271947
the only reason im failing right now is that i need to do social stuff (you know...taking pictures of people) and i don't interact with people nor like doing it and the only reason i want to pass is to go to a 10 day vipassa retreat in the UK. We don't have it here where i come from. Other than that my thoughts are fucking broken, i cant trust myself, but i've quitted smoking cold turkey after 8 years of doing it. I have no idea how but i did it. Regardless i feel like i'm falling into a never ending void and there is literally no way back.

>>36272058
It sounds like youre doing pretty good senpai, everyone has issues, it all works out in the end, humans can adapt to pretty much anything

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>>36272120
but i keep telling myself the same thing for 2 years, but after so long man sometimes some feels come so strong i feel like i need to fucking rip my chest open just to finally let go of that feeling and feel free. i feel like a slave. i feel dumb. idiotic. illiterate fuck. i just want to break free and that was the enlightment thing. but now i've lost that as well. that was literally my last hope and now its fucking gone man. after a year of visible progress. i wanna cry now. i feel like i've lost everything.

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>>36272058
Photography is really cool Anon, at least you will be taking some sick pictures when you are done.

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>>36272594
i keep trying to find reasons to like it man. I am so freaking lost in this. I don't even think i like it. I'm not sure this is the depression speaking or the lazyness or whatever it is. I'm not sure who the fuck i am. My pics are absolute trash. How the fuck do i find who I am. I don't even know the basic thing man. MAN.

>>36271413
Literally anyone can be a photographer.

>>36272734
i know right. even the faggots on /p/ said exactly the same thing, but saying that, the same as the music school, that university is best for networking, which i have not done at all. + im not not even working on my technique, or any of that. so the average joe with an iphone might be as good as i am.

>>36272795
>networking
Fuck talking to people.

>>36271413
>studying photography and video 3k km away from home
What a waste; why on Earth would you spend money studying such a shallow discipline? Good luck flipping burgers, brainlet

>>36272795
not that anon. why do you want to do photography?

why do you build your identity around just one thing? you could do a lot of different stuff

its normal to get wrecked and depressed sometimes. if you want to do something proactive you could start a better diet, do exercise, get yourself into a routine (pro-tip: this is what depressed people usually lack) and your testosterone and serotonin levels will raise.

hormones control the body, breh (i would know, i'm a mess, although a productive one)

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>>36272873
i was 16 and after i've argued around 2 weeks with my mom not to go to med school she finally gave up and expected me to come up with an immediate answer. Being denied by my parents on music (the reason being the fact that i didnt play an instrument from a really young age) i didn't know what to answer since i had no idea. MAN I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I ENDED UP HERE MAN. I WANT TO SCREAM MAN BUT I CANT....everyone has rejected me. :( i always say that i will say fuck it and just go and travel with the money i have, sleep in parks. i don't have the courage to do anything. im fucking fat, long hair, a fucking meme, im even afraid to change my hairstyle. i don't read, i don't form opinions. am i literally retarded ? Aren't i capable of living in a society that gives me everything i need ? am i that fucking pathetic ? what the actual fuck man. Sometimes i think im either too intelligent or too fucking stupid to function, which sounds retarded as well. holy fuck man. i wish i was never born. and the thing is that nobody cares. maybe this is just an attempt to feel special for a short time. to feel noticed. man nobody gives a single fuck man. i think that hurts the most. holy fuck. I have no reason to wake up in the morning, except to do the meditation and breathing exercise routine in which i felt progress and now i feel like i've lost everything. pic very very very very very related.