>3 page essay due rite now >haven't revised it tell

>>36229567
"Systematic Racism" is the cause of a culture brought up in the black and latino communities that promotes violence, drug use, over-sexualization, and lack of critical thinking. Being poor doesn't help the situation, but most government policies are actually pro-minority these days if anything else and they fail to act on it. Using schools' preferential treatment, most blacks and latinos could very easily get into Ivy League school if they got good grades while whites and asians would barely get in. Most blacks and latinos could get full rides to decent schools if they got good grades, while whites and asians may get a scholarship for 1000/yr if they were lucky.

Some blacks and latinos do act on it, but a majority do not act on it either out of actual stupidity due to low IQ, which can't be helped, or because they fall into the trap their own culture has set up for them that revolves around a self-destructive amount of over-sexualization (leading to higher amounts of single mothers), over-usage of illegal drugs (leading to higher amounts of addiction to illegal substances and higher incarceration rates), and extreme violence and gang worship (hence why blacks and latinos end up in gangs far more often than their white and asian counterparts).

Their economic status doesn't help the situation, but it is a cultural issue through and through. There are very few government policies left that truly hurt minorities and they are mostly outnumbered by other government policies that help out minorities and poor people.

Adding more police to the situation is just going to further issues and tensions as well as re-enforce their already strong anti-police rhetoric. That anti-police rhetoric will also lead to them asking for more aid from the communities around them and the government itself because they're still being "put down by the man."

Your thesis is shit.

>>36229567
>>36229718
Neither of you is going to pass Prof. Goldberg's History of Urban America class.

>>36229567
A more attainable area of the system to work on is that
>work both physical and mental can help prepare an inmate to life on the outside.

>>36229718
The teacher is a libtard, I can't run with the truth.
What if I changed it to increase black police in black communities.

>>36229832
I don't understand, please expand more.

self-bumperino

Here's the mega link dude
megalink.com

>>36229853

>Guys I need help writing a paper
>But there are these really specific things I need to pander to, and I was lectured to in class about them but you guys know what I need right...?

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>>36229567
"systematic racism" is simply a reaction that comes from niggers' biological predisposition to act violently and irrationally like the baboons they are, not the other way around

OP i can help but you need to give me more
i literally worked as a uni writing tutor for 4 years and i'm in graduate school now

i can't tell you if your thesis makes sense independently, though i can tell you that it's a little confusing as it stands

pls give
>prompt
>full intro para

note: i am not /pol/, i am actually a pretty run of the mill lefty, i think systemic racism is real and have read a decent amount of academic lit on the subject

>>36229567
That dude looks like he pressed random in the Dark Souls character creator

>>36230889 cont'd
also for what it's worth, i rewrote the beginning of your shit

>The American carceral state provides ample evidence of the reality of systemic racism: the rate of African-American incarceration in the United States is disproportionately high-- relative to other racial groups--and is the product of government policy as well as socioeconomic factors.

i took out the last bit (countermeasures) because i have no idea where you're going with it.

are you trying to make the argument that a good way to mitigate systemic racism is to increase policing in black communities?

if so, there are many issues with this:

1. what do you mean by "increase policing"? increase the amount of police on the streets? increase the severity of police tactics?
"increase policing" doesn't really mean anything in and of itself.

2. if your evidence of systemic racism being real in america is elevated AA incarceration rates (which is a good call, you're on the right track there) then "increasing" police activity/presence seems like it would cause the # of black people in prison to go UP, right? so it wouldn't help reduce systemic racism, it'd actually make the problem worse

3. i don't think you're going to get very far by arguing that stricter or more severe police action (even if such action doesn't directly influence incarceration rates) is somehow a path to reducing racism. disproportionate minority contact (DMC, this is a term people use) is already understood by pretty much everybody who writes seriously on this topic to be a net negative for black people.

i would suggest that, if you are really married to the whole incarceration thing, you might want to speak more broadly about sentencing reform and reduction of DMC by alterations to local police procedure/culture

>>36230843
>bazinga!
I promise this is original.

>>36231097
It's a research proposal essay.
I changed the solution to be to reform sentencing laws and to introduce programs within prisons.

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>>36231097
pic related, my current intro

>>36231214
good call on the solution thing, those are both theoretically ways to counteract systemic racism

still unclear on what exactly you are being asked to do
"research proposal essay" could be a lot of things
your thesis as it stands is currently structured to support an analytical essay
my assumption is that, if the point of the essay is to propose some kind of research, then you'd need to identify some kind of open question re: systemic racism and then suggest some kind of research that could answer that question

"does systemic racism exist" is not really an open question in this sense
"would sentencing reform reduce AA incarceration rates and thus ameliorate systemic racism" is pretty obvious but, i suppose, is a proposal for research
but if that's what you're supposed to do then i'd format the entire thesis differently

the actual text of your prompt would clear all of this up

>>36231097
What if the police were made up of black people themselves, then no racism involved, right?

>>36231097
Can you expand more on "reduction of DMC by alterations to local police procedure/culture"

>>36231264
pic related is my suggestions/revision of this post
red is stuff i would absolutely change
blue is stuff i would probably change

>>36231293
the idea of systemic racism is that racial discrimination arises from racist societal structures
if police violence disproportionately affects black/brown people, then the race of the officers involved is not really the problem (in a systemic rendering of the issue, at least). the problem is that it's negatively impacting racial minorities

that being said, you could argue that re-staffing police precincts in minority areas with officers who belong to that minority (e.g. black cops in black neighborhoods) might reduce negative contact between black people and the police, which might reduce black incarceration rates

i think you could probably argue that hiring more minority cops helps to reduce systemic racism because the power of the criminal justice apparatus in america has traditionally empowered white people at the expense of everybody else, so reducing white people's exclusive control of that apparatus would result in net positive effects for non-white people.

>>36231359
based on this, you're on the right path with your intro paragraph. the main thing you would need to provide is additional specifics about your recommendation

>>36231442
ok
note that DOJ people generally think of DMC as specifically juvenile contact for whatever reason
they have a good document on this exact thing here
https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/218861.pdf

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>>36231565
lol i didn't attach the image, oops

>>36231442
http://www.njjn.org/uploads/digital-library/resource_1639.pdf
here's another article (a good source if this is the route you choose to go) that gets a little more specific with its recommendations in how to reduce DMC

>>36229567
>>36229718
>>36231097
>>36231290
>>36231565

This is why you should study STEM.

>>36231662
I am. I have to take this as required by state law.

>>36231570
>what form would this take
???

>>36231689
What total fucking bullshit your education system is. They literally force you to write essays in which you demonstrate your submission to the supremacy of prog-doctrine.

>>36231570
I actually thank you for this.
We have to present our proposals, and I can't imagine the look on the people's face if I told them them about the policing solution.

>>36229567
>With incarceration, "systemic racism" is seen because african americans are imprisoned at too high a rate (26.6%), a result of socio economics and government policies, which is why a temporary countermeasure is to simply increase the policing in black communities.
You already failed for having the wrong political opinions, sry kid

>>36231698
you said "inmate improvement." what does that mean? programs? GBP?

>>36231702
just a side note: OP seemingly chose "systemic racism" as one of a ton of potential options, many of which were almost completely apolitical

>>36231837
through education?

I don't know much about other topics.

>>36231881
education would be a kind of program, sure
whatever your solution is, just make sure you're being explicit in your intro paragraph about what it is