Roommate just texted me that he will come back to apartment in

>>36222118
You have to make your intentions as clear as possible, women have simple minds after all.
Just grab onto her and start moving like your a fish out of water, this will trigger her natural instincts to reproduce and she'll be soaking in seconds.
Trust me, I'm a guy on the internet.

>>36222232
She will be quite drunk (as am I), so should I just sit close to her, talk to her and touch her?

>>36222118
The girl for you is probably really ugly or the ugly friend of the stacy your roommate is bringing. This is not going to end well. Because they are basically forcing you two together. If they leave you two alone she'll probably tell you to fuck off.

>>36222118
>roommate
Normie.

>>36222260
Make sure to touch the back of her knee a lot, bitches love it.

>KHHV

Do these actually exist IRL?

Better shave your balls and taint real quick anon

>>36222118
>and dressed as well as I could
im sincerely hoping OP is wearing a suit

>I have no fucking idea what to do
just be yourself

>>36222389
hugless doesn't mean you've never been hugged by a girl. it just means no girl you've been romantically interested in has hugged you

>>36222118
Dont worry OP. Nothing is going to happen anyway. Just play video games and ignore her.

>>36222260
>drunk
>739pm

disgusting.

>>36222298
I have checked their FBs and they are around 5/10, but that doesn't matter to me, at this point I would fuck an exhaust pipe of my car if it wasn't being repaired

>>36222389
Unfortunately, yes

>>36222408
Already shaved them too

>>36222412
Actually I am, with a nice tie, is that bad?

>>36222440
also OP here
> assuming everyone is murifag

I am from Europe and it's 1:39 AM here

>>36222446
post pics of the suit RIGHT THE FUCK NOW

>>36222446
Post a pic of your shaved balls and penis and pubic area ^_^

>>36222389
Me. I'm one of those. No man or woman, family or otherwise has willingly come within about 6 inches of me in the last 15 years. Occasionally if no other seats are available on the bus, someone will sit next to me, but even then, most people choose to stand.

>>36222118
>dressed as nice as i could

this is a pretty vague statement OP. you better not be wearing a suit

>>36222446
>a nice tie
yes is bad

>>36222515
>No man or woman, family or otherwise has willingly come within about 6 inches of me in the last 15 years
So you've been hugged. You're not a KHHV you're a KHV, assuming you also haven't had sex or kissed someone which seems unlikely since you alread lied about never being hugged.

>>36222414
Hugless means hugless, you dummy

>>36222473
>murifag

insulting.

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>>36222118
>dressing up in a suit because two whores are coming over

>>36222552
Except everyone has been hugged by their mom or grandma, or some random old person at a family type event. It's literally impossible to be hugless. All these faggots who say they are hugless either haven't been hugged by someone they are romantically interested in, or are like this faggot >>36222515 and say no woman has touched them in years.

oh you're in EU?

your roommate Mohamed will satisfy Sofia and Frederica just fine on his own. make sure to get the towels ready.

>>36222446
>nice tie, is that bad?
Just go in your casual attire, it's not a fucking prom date.

>>36222595
Nice cuckold fantasy, faggot.

>>36222524
>>>36222118 (OP)
>>dressed as nice as i could
>this is a pretty vague statement OP. you better not be wearing a suit

Why do i think he is wearing a suit.

If you're gonna wear a suit have a reason behind wearing the suit or else it's just going to be awkward as fuck and the girl will be like "why is he wearing a suit":

>>36222549
Every human being had been hugged at least once in their lives. It's really hard to give birth to a child and not wind up holding them afterwards. It's about being hugged by non family members.

She's gonna be an obese hambeast lmao

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>>36222488
>>36222525
>>36222629
OP here, my current attire

Start making some dank ass food right now. Thats the least awkward thing to be in the middle of doing when they walk in. Dont just be sitting their warching v tv

>>36222620

Faggot? Why is gay sex on your mind, anon?

>>36222118
>>36222232
>>36222260
>>36222298
>>36222329
>>36222370
>>36222408
>>36222412
>>36222414
>>36222429
>>36222440
>>36222446
>>36222473
>>36222488
>>36222504
>>36222515
>>36222524
>>36222525
>>36222549
>>36222552
>>36222566
>>36222576
>>36222595


You're assuming that room-mate is not going bang both girls himself, and the text doesn't mean "in 30 minutes you better be gone or stay in your room because I'm using the fuck-couch"

As soon as they walk in, play this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qN72LEQnaU

>>36222665
pack it up boys hes a troll

then again this is r9k

>>36222665
You should just wear a dress shirt with no tie if you're going to go fancy. If I were the girl in the situation, (lel as much as I would like to imagine myself in the situation) would look at you like you're a try hard and feel awkward. I mean it's weird to just be randomly lounging around in a suit

>>36222722
Sometimes I lounge in my old lab coat. I mean, it's kind of like a robe, so I guess that makes more sense than a suit.

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>>36222699
Not a troll, just a desperate robot

>>36222722
That sounds reasonable... does the suit really look so try hard? They will be there in a few minutes, so I need to decide now

>>36222809
Just put on some shorts and a t-shirt. It'll look really weird to be chilling at home in a suit.

>>36222809
Wear a fucking tshirt and pants. No underwear.

>>36222809
yes. ditch it for something more casual but not trashy/gross. A decent polo shirt maybe.

>>36222809
fucks sake. take off the jacket and the tie dude. just wear the grey shirt you got on underneath. like what the fuck do you think these girls are gonna think you're cool when they see you wearing that? at home?

you have a long road to overcoming this level of betamax but it starts with taking that shit off

>>36222809
Ditch the suit immediately and wear a shirt and jeans

>>36222809
>>36222809
>JUMPER
>JEANS
>NEUTRAL SHOES
Just do this and you will look like a normal person. Just remember that this is an average occurrence for normal people. You want to be on the same level as them. If you go into the situation acting as if it's special you will embarrass yourself.

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>>36222826
>>36222832
>>36222833
>>36222878
>>36222885


Ok I'm going to ditch my suit and wear my standard T-shirt with trousers, thanks for the advice

Roommate just texted be they have just left the subway and will be there in 5 minutes, I am going off now.
If the thread happens to be alive when they go home (or I wake up with one of them in my bed), I will update it.

Wish me luck robots

>>36222959
Bang one of those sluts for me, alright?

Do it for all us robots.

>>36222959
Make sure to wear no under wear. I'm serious. If you get a boner, you want this girl to be able to see and tell. A boner in this situation is a good thing and not embarrassing.

>>36222959
Don't wear that you'll look like a retard
Take off the jacket and tie but keep everything else, unbutton your cuffs and roll the sleeves and you'll be golden

>>36222389
yea, I'm one of them.
I want to die originally

>>36223043
>Don't wear that you'll look like a retard
what are you talking about a t shirt is fine

>>36222680
this. obviously OPs roommate is a chad if he was able to get 2 girls to come hoe with him.

>>36223043
He's not going to a club dipshit. These people are coming to his apartment.

>>36222665
are you literally retarded? you're trying to fuck some sluts not attend a high school prom. dress more casual you sperg.

>>36223058

hugs are pretty meaningless, like you can be a great person that every single woman you meet thinks, "he's so nice but he's too nice, someone else will like him," but no one ever does but you still get hugs

i got my first kiss on new years at 24 years of age and it was pretty shit anon, don't recommend throwing away your wizard potency

>>36222959
don't do it OP. don't give away your precious seed to hungry sluts.

>>36223107
So? He still needs to look presentable

>>36222959
who wants to bet OP will end up spilling his spaghetti all over one of them and miss his chance?

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>>36222665
What the fuck is up with your tie game?


It looks edgy as fuck, pre-tied(all you had to do was throw it on) and it sits ON TOP of your collar.


Also why the fuck are you dressed up for whores?

>>36223069
With jeans sure but not trousers

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Don't fall for the sex meme, goy

>>36223214
>im going to wear my t shirt with trousers
>with trousers
didnt even notice that. what the fuck is he thinking

>>36222665
>two whores are coming over and you're unironically dressed like that
what the fuck are you doing dude

>>36222665
THE ARM
MY SIDES

So how did it go anon

>>36224859
This we need to know

>>36224859
I need to know.

Please update.

I'll just be sitting here waiting for OP's hilarious greentext story.

Bumping so the thread doesn't die

OP where are you please be banging I'm emotionally invested in this

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did he make it to the other side yet?

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It's been 3 hours c'mon OP.

>>36226293
He's either banging or sperged out and cried himself to sleep at this point.

I must know what happened

>>36222692
wow, hamsterdance. I still remember that website from over 10 years ago. Good shit, top tier nostalgia

OP's either balls deep in one of these girls, or his roommate's fucking them both whilst OP cries in his bedroom alone, listening through the walls

Bumping this thread...


Okay I admit this comment wasn't very original

bumpity bumpa bump

>>36222680
THIS!!
If your first reaction was thinking that one of the girls was for you then you're a fucking NORMIE and should GET OFF MY BOARD

>>36222692
>that uploader

bumping
anon, please deliver us the greentext

>>36226433
OP seriously thought a suit was a good idea. He's not going to be balls deep in anything anytime soon.

>>36227072
this. hes too spergy i dont think he made it.

>>36222665
I want this to be real so much, keep us updated when the whores arrive if its real OP

>>36222665
You're gonna come off as trying too hard, what are u doing?

OP will never fucking deliver. he's either lurking in the thread trying to keep it running as long as possible or he's crying himself to sleep after sperging out and spilling spaghetti all over the place.

>>36222446
hhahaha dont wear a suit wear normal clothes

Keep the thread alive I want to know what happens

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OP YOU BETTER MAKE IT

>>36227479
spoiler he doesnt get laid

GFYUYDTRSYTURDTGYKHJ

im getting impatient

>>36222118
He'll fuck them both in front of you and they all will make fun of you

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>>36222118
>be OP's roommate
>be Chad
>go out as my alpha self
>find two chicks who want sum fuck
>need to go back to the apartment
>guess I have to warn OP so he stays out of my way
>text him that I am coming back with two girls
>we get back
>roommate is sitting there in a button down shirt having cleaned the room
>he... hell... hello ladies, glad to meet you
>fucking laugh my ass off at him
>take both chicks to my room
>OP has to listen to me please both women all night
>what a looser
>he even cleaned up for me
>hfw

>>36227689
KEK

OP please deliver for fucks sake

>>36227689
>Be chad
>bring home some pretty relaxed girls
>hopefully my bro will get some pussy and be chill

Don't overdress anon, just dress in a neutral t-shirt no graphic design and some jeans. Since it's your house you should be relaxed man. If they like you it's all smooth sailing from there but don't try to hard.

He wont do it

>>36222232
>Trust me, I'm a guy on the internet.

nice reddit comment, friendo

it's now what 4am his time? he's not going to come back for a while. sorry boys I think this story will go untold

>>36222680
Did you really have to link as many people as you could without it spam filtering you?

You should wear a Ralph Lauren button up, a Ralph Lauren hat, bright Ralph Lauren blue shorts that have the logo all over them, Ralph Lauren high socks, and to top it off Ralph Lauren shoes that show the logo on the side. Wear that and sit there on the couch waiting for them with the TV off and as soon as they walk be like "hey guys what's up" with a high pitched voice. That'll get you laid.

bumping and waiting for OP's greentext

is it possible that OP lost his virginity and decided to never come back here?

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op right now
hygtfrdeswretryt

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>>36222118
Bumped, kinda interested tbqh.

OP please update you sperg

I'm getting worried; maybe he's dead?

>>36228952
He pissed off his chad room mate for thinking that one of the sluts was for him. Chad accidentally killed him with a single punch to the head.

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OP FUCKING RESPONSD YOU FUCKING ASPIE

be patient robts

>>36229614
it's 1am, fuck off.

>>36229777
if he doesn't respond in the morning then you can fuck off

OP probably got laughed at and an hero'd

Rip at least you tried

we must know if his KHHV status has been revoked!!

>Wearing a suit
>KHHV
I wonder why

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2 am. OP is not coming back by now, he fucking blew it.

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>tfw all robots of doomed no matter how hard they try

>>36222665
thiere's no way you're 100% serious

>>36230888
Its 11 on the westcoast

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>>36231198
but he made this thread 7 hours ago

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>OP's been suffocated by all that puss-puss after hoes saw his suit lying on the bed
RIP OP

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OP and the thot right now
oregano

any hour now, OP should be updating...

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who here wants /tendies/ as we wait?

Nearly forgot about this thread already.
OP fucking update.

any moment now....r-right?

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>>36231726
Thankies, kind bot.

according to the suit pic, it was almost 2AM where he was

That means it's 9:35 AM right now where OP is

I'm going to assume he had a late night of spaghetti and hasn't woken up yet for this thread

>>36231879
We'll just have to wait for OP to deliver.
I'm very interested in this potential train wreck of spaghetti express.

>>36231939
I'm up writing a paper so I'll bump in a few hours if it gets close to being archived. Even my "failed" attempts at getting pussy have been marginal at best so it's always great to read the trainwrecks here even though some of them are "artistic works of fiction".

Hey guys, OP here.

So the night went pretty well, we chatted a bit and drunk a lot.

One of the girls fell asleep on my bed, but I was too beta to do something about it and I just continued drinking with my roommate and the other girl. We ended about an hour ago, when I had to leave for work (I am currently writing this from work).

No sleep or anything with the girls, but at least I didn't spill my spaghetti... I think I am satisfied

Thanks for the clothing advice, if I had the suit on me, I think they would just start laughing and leave immediately...

>>36232038
>This is the 62nd IP in the thread

>>36232038
>we chatted a bit
Did you talk to gurls

>>36232042
oh nevermind he's at work. still would like proof though

>>36232054
Yeah, quite a bit, but as I said nothing happened. At least I talked to the girls, which is nice and I gained courage to ask one of the girls in my class in uni out as well, so as I mentioned, I am satisfied with tonight.

>>36232058
Can't provide proof (pic) at the moment, I accidentally smashed my phone on sidewalk when I was on my way to work, if I post with the same IP as I did in original post (I can log in to my home VPN), will it show up here? I thought that this works only on other boards such as /pol/ or /int/

>No sleep or anything with the girls
Extremely anticlimactic

>>36232237
So this became an all night affair? What did you even talk about since it sounds like you didn't really sleep much. Also, post that cringey tie for proof that you're actually OP.

Regardless, if true, good job I guess. Girls are insecure people too that you can often have positive experiences with if you dont put them on a pedestal (contrary to the cancerous advice that you would regularly receive on /r9k/)

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>>36222118
>Tfw too ugly to leave the house

>>36232321
The tie is in my room, which is currently ~10km away from me so unfortunately I cannot post it. If the thread is alive in ~10 hours when I get back to my room, I can post it, but I doubt that.

We talked about random stuff, mostly about school, as I said I quite enjoyed it.

I don't know how to prove I'm OP and at this point, to be completely honest, I don't even care, I'm at work drunk as fuck and without sleep for 26 hours at this point, so I'm glad I'm even functioning.

Anyway, as I said, thanks everyone for the advice, it helped me from spilling my spaghetti.

This gonna be fun.
This thread is a greentext in the making.

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I hope OP got his num nums

>>36222414
Wait, what? I always thought it was 'kissing hand holdless virgin'?

>>36232423
I waited hours for THIS?

You let me down OP.

>>36232543
>kissing
really?

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>>36232237
Well, at least you didn't fail miserably.
Few pieces of advice for future: never EVER wear your suit, ties and suit shirts outside of work.
Learn how to tie a tie and properly wear it.
Never overthink your choice of clothing. You don't have to wear specific "brand" or "color palette" to impress some bimbo. If it looks good on you, then it's good, even if was made by some Vietnamese children.
And, if you plan to spend an evening (and possibly night) with a woman, always wear clean underwear. Don't listen to that faggot who says "no undies", it's fuckin' creepy and girls like to think that you tried for them, even when they act as complete whores.

>>36232038
>Hey guys, OP here.
I don't believe you.

>>36232038

she fell asleep on YOUR bed. should've joined her and you could've at least gotten some cuddles. fucking beta.

>>36232038
OP WHY DIDNT YOU GET PUSSY FUCKING REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>36222665
HAHAHAHAHAHHHA NO THIS CANT BE REAL