Why haven't you fucked a cougar yet? >bored housewives

>>36206050
I used to work at a grocery store and can confirm they ALL ONLY WANT CHAD/BABYFACE NORMOS

ok where am i supposed to find one

>>36206050
When I was 19, I could have slept with my 35yo boss. I still regret not acting on it.

not that I watched the show but when that cougar show was on Monica whatsherface had a chad bf even though she hit the wall a long time ago
so I doubt an older woman would want me

>>36207422

Holy fuck,the same thing happened to me when i was 18,she was fine as shit and she was all swollen and pregnant .

Her husband cheated on her and she wanted to sleep with me to get back at him.

My moral character was a lot better back then,i wold totally do it now that i am a drunk nuts asshole.

Because I want to form a committed relationship with a woman my age, who I can marry and raise a family with one day.

>>36207739
You can still do that after getting around a bit. As a matter of fact, it will actually be a lot easier to achieve if you gained some experience first.

>>36207760
DIS
GUSTING

I want a virgin gf who wants a virgin bf. No "past"

>>36207818
>I want a virgin gf who wants a virgin bf.

This is pretty easy to achieve in middle school, lol.

Haven't fucked a cougar because I want a healthy relationship, don't just want the sexings.

>>36206092
>I used to work at a grocery store and can confirm they ALL ONLY WANT CHAD/BABYFACE NORMOS
This.

You need to be handsome, Chad-like, and (strong preference) well-hung for a chance. From talking to older women online I've come to learn that banging older girls and cougars is actually really common but it's one of those things socially-retarded robots like myself would have never known about at that age.

While you're a virgin now, a lot of your friends and people you knew at 15/16 were getting laid, and at least a couple of the guys you knew in school fucked a MILF when they were 17-19.

>>36206050
There older women get the uglier they become

And for some reason they develop an unpleasant smell I dunno how to describe it

>>36206050
a hot cougar could still do better than me. i'm not even boyishly cute anymore

>>36206050
Because I'm not into milfs and overall dgaf

>>36207760
>Experience

Sticking your dick in their bacteria infested holes requires no skill/experience whatsoever.

where to find cougars in the UK?

>>36206050
The one free fuck I ever got was a woman 8 years older than me and she was still married. I fell in love and she ruined my life.

>>36206050
>Why haven't you fucked a cougar yet?

I'm probably too old for them.

How the fuck do you expect me to fuck a cougar?
"S-sorry miss, can I put my penis into you"

I asked out a coworker that is 11 years older than me. Does that count? I thought she was 25 until she told me

>tfw have a cute 47 year old co-worker
>She's married tho
>tfw her and I become friends even though I'm 23
>tfw start driving her to the subway after work because she doesn't drive and my apartment is close to the station
>tfw we become close during these drives
>tfw she is playful flirty but then says "If only I wasn't old enough to be your mom"
>tfw her marriage goes south
>tfw one day she comes to my apartment
>tfw she confesses her marriage is falling apart
>tfw I have no idea how to handle this so I hold her to console her
>tfw she kisses me
>tfw we make out for a bit before she quickly pulls away
>tfw she says she shouldn't have done that
>tfw confess I find her attractive and don't care about the age difference
>tfw she can't get past it and leaves
>tfw awkward at work now

kill me

>>36208044
she wanted to fucc you. she was just wanting you to say something to convince her

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>>36207892

themed bar nights

I got off with a 40 year old when I was 18 and her husband knocked my friend out thinking I was him

we got booted by the bouncers

Its the only chad like thing I have ever done and was due to anti-depressants and alcohol

>>36208109
I wouldn't even know what to say. I tried telling her the age doesn't mean anything and that we have great chemistry together.

Because
>manlet
>dicklet
>brainlet

No one would even consider me.

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I don't know if the girl that i'm with necessarily qualifies as a cougar, but I'm a 21 year old dude and I just recently gf'd a 25 year old woman who's into younger-looking shota boys like me :3 It's way wayyyy better than trying to date girls in my age range (which I've never actually succeeded in doing, because I was a kissless virgin up until this point). Tfw she's really mature and knows how to deal with my retarded emotions and make me feel /comfy/ and secure with myself. The sex is great, too, because I'm extremely nervous and inexperienced, and she leads the way most of the time.

feelsgood

>>36208211

Fuck you.

originalcommentioa

>>36206050
Why would I want to dip it in some slag that's already been round the block?

>>36208190
>>dicklet
What's the cutoff for dicklet?
>inb4 7 inches.

>>36208238
I'm just trying to help people by recommending that they date older women...

I wanted to kill myself until I found her. tfw I would complain about being an unlovable manlet on this board literally every day.

>>36208186
The right answer was "no this is the right thing to do, this is good" - but you went and reminded her how old she is instead

>readily available
They are clubbing in swarms and talking up Chads. At best, the stinking drunk one out of the swarm will grab a robots ass, giggle and turn back to the party.
Where exactly does that make them available or even useful for a shy robot?

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>have a serious thing for old(er) women
>managed to fuck a 50 year old when I was 26
>pic related
>eventually stopped seeing her because she made me feel bad about myself a lot

>(date teenager girlfriend for several years)
>30 and recently single and miserable
>go for the cougars again on a dating site
>tfw about 48 women have ignored me or turned me down so far

Such is life.

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>>36208308
I'm still debating whether I should contact her or not.

She really made me feel like shit.

But I desperately need a rebound and no one else will have me

>>36208257
Not him but I'm 6'2 195 pounds with size 13.5 feet and can easily palm a basketball. I have a 4.5 erect penis and probable autism
>I want to die

>>36208355
>6'4 with 5.5 benis
I share that feel.

>>36208355
>>36208375
wow i thought it was a meme being /tall/ and a dicklet, sorry phams

>>36208273
this
and she didn't give a fuck about chemistry, she just wanted to be treated like a slut, fucked rough, forget about it all and feel validated

>>36208390
It's a bad feel. It's like if you have what people think is a Lamborghini but you pop the hood and there is a moped engine inside.

>>36208355
you don't have autism, stop glorifying autism

>>36206050
I've never encountered a 40+ y/o woman I'd like to have sex with.

>>36208429
I only order Domino's and Pizza hut because I'm afraid to call my order in at a pizza place and when I'm in my apartment alone I think about embarrassing things all day and then yell "I'm gay" or "I'm retarded or "let me fuck you" to break the embarrassing thought cycle. I do this 5-10 times a day.
I'm probably on the spectrum.

>>36208487
that's not autism
oreoginal

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>>36208487
You are so far off the spectrum. You're not even on it.

>>36208538
Fine what is it then. I'll let you diagnose me. I'm also awaiting trial right now because I threatened to shoot somebody at my work and I had a loaded 40 Cal and bullet proof vest in my car. Is that autistic enough?

>>36208595
And I mean autistic in the broad meme sense.

>>36208595
edgelorditis

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>>36208595
you just sound like an moron desu

>>36208629
Nah I'm wasn't being an edgelord. I was using heroin at the time and it was a bitch. It wasn't like I got into an argument with a guy and said it. It was also like 6 hours into her talking shit about me to me. It was a woman I was involved with.

>>36208689
*I
I fucking hate phone posting.

>>36208595
you're either too young to be here or you have extremely mild aspergers which makes you think we're going to believe this

I have friend with mild aspergers and he is a pathological liar, making up dumb stories exactly like this which he expects me to believe every time. To which his response will be exactly the same as your response will be to this comment.

>>36208704
I'm 24 next week and I wish I was lying. I could easily prove this with one link but court is still going on so I don't feel comfortable posting it.

>>36208595
boo hoo i'm so different. the world doesn't understand me. that's why i'm the way i am and i'll never be able to be anything different. waaaaa.

>>36208733
This sound exactly like what a pathological liar would say to defend himself.

Oh but I want to

Mature women are easier to approach than girls of my age you know. And most of them for whatever reason are attracted to me. Maybe it's because I actually have like manners?

Anyway I'm just waiting to fuck this psycho cougar

>>36208770
this is what I meant when I knew how he'd respond. Make some counter claim and try and cover his back by saying why he can't provide evidence.

>>36208750
I never said any of those things. I was living a somewhat normie life beforehand. I had just came back from Thailand and Dubai, apartment and shit. I understand it was 100% my fault. I mixed some mental shortcomings with heroin and fucked up bad.

>>36206050

Thats not how the world works and yes, they are harder to get (more financial independence), therefore they go for good looking people.

>>36208840
I bet you've been waiting so long for this opportunity to use that link you saved from the internet

>>36208891
interesting, how are posts removed? Did he remove it or a mod? am so curious

>>36208891
You can believe what ever you want man.

>>36208902
well... here's the link http://www.wkyc.com/mb/news/local/ohio/sandusky-man-threatened-factory-shooting-gun-found-in-car/243879520

>>36206050
Because I don't care about sex

>>36206050
>no emotional bullshit like with self centred 20-something's

Yeah bullshit OP
AWALT

>>36208902
I removed it. I gave him long enough to see proof and then deleted it.

>>36208936
>>36208923
kek all that proved is you saved a link and used it to try and convince people you're so autistic

>>36208902
How fucking new can you be

Back to r/4chan

>>36208970
1 year so fairly new, yes. There would have been a time when you had been here for as long as me, so why didn't you go back to r/4chan?

>>36208962
Correct, I was larping the whole time.

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>>36206050
>be me, 25 years old, black/white mixed race
>fucekd this 50 year old blonde german mature
>she said was her best fuck for ages
>she fall in love with me, but she ashamed because i am too young

Fells good to be mixed race in europe, man.

>>36208285
>Where exactly does that make them available or even useful for a shy robot?
They're not, OP is a normie just like 90% of /r9k/ nowadays

>>36208970
erhh im so oldfag erggg, leave my 4chan it's my website errrrr

Because I prefer that sweet 16 year old pussy. Fuck old hags.

>>36206050
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPTTTPPHHHTHTHTHTHHHTTTTTTFFFFFFFF