HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I'M A DUDE, WHEN I WAS 18 AND HOMELESS

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Holy fuck man the guy was FUCKING INSANE and I didn't fucking realize it.

I almost got taken advantage on fuck man.

He posed as a hollywood producer and I fell for it.
He was making jokes about eating dingleberries and impersonated crusty the clown a lot.

I think my botched suicides turned my brain into mush and I'm legitimately retarded. I am seriously fucking contemplating suicide right now.

>>36206130
but nothing happened so dont worry about it

i almost got raped by a moribdly obese girl in college

she was drunk and had easily 100lbs on me
pinned me up against a wall and kept asking why we weren't fucking yet
kept licking my neck while trying to shove her massive hands down my pants
she couldn't do it very well since i had a belt on and her hands were so fucking thick
every time i tried to maneuver out of her grasp she would just shift her weight to block me

eventually she made a mistake and i slipped out
i literally ran

she got kicked out of the school a few months later for some unrelated reason
also coincidentally had herpes

>>36206145
I am just completely stunned to how mentally INCAPABLE I am, just as naive as I was at age 6. I am fucking oblivious to everything.

When I ended up homeless, I went with the presumption that "I won't be abducted or murdered, I'm a big guy so there's no way"

I met this legit 71 y/o American Jew from New York, he was at a homeless soup thing and claimed his account got blocked for some reason he didn't disclose, he had loads of actual money on him and dressed well, couldn't tell he was homeless. We were hanging out because I was bored as hell and we went to private bars and he was making gay jokes that flew right over my head.

One day he took me to a hotel room he claimed he payed 300 euros for when it barely looked like a 100 one. Began talking about how he wanted to be a doctor when he was younger. He took out a pill he claimed it was for his bone disease, and began breaking it with a credit card and SNORTING IT, he claimed it was going to go through his body faster, that's why.
He then asked me if I wanted to take a shower, I said no and then he went and took one anyway, and then asked if I wanted to stay for the night.
I was like "Nah I'm good in the shelter man", then he told me jokingly "Don't tell anyone you were here or I will stab you haha".

Few days later when we met again he was pissed off and asked me why I told someone about our encounter, I didn't get why he was so pissed off about it.

I almost got MURDERED, FUCK.

Good God man, I am not right in the head, how did I not see this?

>>36206441
Pretty spooky anon. You have a quality of innocence I suppose--like some kind of manga character.
Too bad in this world it can be used against you though! You should live in the same town as either your parents or siblings because you need to make sure someone doesn't try doing something just as bad or worse.
If you're not in a good place with your siblings, try to make amends and tell them how you might've done them wrong and apologize.
>tl;dr
Stay close to your family so you can pass ideas by them and see what they think before you do something to almost get yourself stabbed again.

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People always tell me "You're fucked in the head man", "maybe you should claim benefit". I talk like a complete bubbling retard, I cannot speak properly anymore and I didn't fucking realize it.

What have I done to myself?

>>36206500
Fuck man, you're right.

I almost severed my ties with the rest of my family, and I literally talk to no one besides my few coworkers, been doing this for a while and I'm still living like a complete Hikki at home.

Don't know, me and my sister grew up separately, but we're both educated enough for a discussion about history. Our contact is kinda going cold, we don't have that much to talk about, think she's starting to realize I'm kinda fucked in the head and doesn't want to do that much with me.

If you were 18, how does that make him a pedophile?

>>36206655
He was attracted my mental age of 8.

My friend got my drunk so she could try and rape me. It was pretty hot desu

>>36206666

That's about the mental age of most women, doesn't make every guy a pedophile.

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I also talk like a schizophrenic.

My shift runner told me half-jokingly that I belong in a mental hospital.

Good God I'm fucked man.

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I opened up my old steam account 5 months ago to my childhood steam friends on our steam group, they were happy to see me, they moved on with their lives and two of them are in the army and the others in uni. I've seen them playing games all together a few times but never called me in even though we were playing all together back in the day.

They tought I completely lost it and am too far gone to save.