>be 20 yo virgin >be not bad looking, decent face, 6'0

Someone tell me how to overcome this, please, anyone

Just be yourself, don't over think and say something interesting.

>>36166812
>just be yourself
'Myself' is the one who can't approaxhto girls without having a nervous breakdown
>don't overthink
Literally how
>say something interesting
Example?

>>36166846
just bee ur original self and it will all become clear :^)

Deep breath.
Reach down into your chest with your brain.
Look for that part of you that warms up and starts fighting against your ribcage when you see a beautiful woman.
Let that thing take control.

>>36167797
What? that thing is what's crippling me

>>36166438
I just pretend people are characters, like in a video game. One where you can interact with them and talk. It helps me, don't know if you understand or if it will help you. Also avoid saying anything negative in a conversation.

>>36167998
If you don't got it, you don't dadgum got it.

>>36166438
What are you nervous about? Back in the days men were dominant and women knew their place in the kitchen. Nowadays, men are pussy ass faggots that can't even talk to girls

What went wrong?

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>>36166438
Nothing will make it easier and if you try you will probably make a fool of yourself. You probably have some kind of anxiety disorder and will never function normally around females you have interest in.

Normies can approach girls because they have their friends right there to fall back on if they get rejected.

They have a safety net of acceptance right after they get shot down, so rejection is bearable.

Normies don't approach girls when they're on their own. Normies don't do anything by themselves, actually.

To add to that, girls would rather you approach them when you're with a group of other dudes, than if you're just some random guy, alone. They'd see it as "creepy." You're better off just not even bothering

You don't have friends to fall back on, though, so that's why you have no confidence.

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unfortunately, with things like this, cookie-cutter advice from /r9k/ of all places is likely to be a miss; we don't know you well enough to provide a proper plan of approach for removing these feelings of apprehension, and projection of the advice-giving individuals nuances and tendencies is likely

options: conquer this rationally with repeated thought patterns such as "i have lost literally nothing tangible if i no not succeed in saying hi to this girl"

use substances moderately to experience a head-space or mental state in which you aren't a bundle of fucking nerves; try to replicate that while not using substances

or something like >>36168102 said isn't so bad, targetted self-delusion is useful in certain cases imo

sorry m8 i don't reckon you're gonna get a miracle fellow throwing a wall of text explaining, step-by-step, how to not feel severe anxiety when attempting to talk to strangers/women/etc

dont worry though, you might end up getting past this shit and into the stage where you tend to not want anything to do with them lmao

To be honest the only way to overcome this is practice. You just need to fall on your face a lot and learn. Your priority needs to be being social situations where communication with the opposite sex is common(work,partys,coed sports ect). Also, it really helps out if you workout. I know it sounds like a meme but girls and guys want partners who look like they take care of themselves. Finally get of this site if you really want self improvement, especially this board. You have to realize with urgency that you only have one chance of being alive. Hope you make it ;).

>>36166438

>Venture outside and join a few normies from work to go clubbing
>Girl sits down on my lap, grinding her ass on my dick
>Move my arms to the sides so I don't touch her
>Look away because eye contact freaks me out
>She starts leaning towards my face but I move back
>Eventually she gets up and goes away
>I get out of the club shortly thereafter, can't stand the noise and the massive crowds
>Fap like a madman that night

I deserve to die a virgin

>>36168503
You deserve to die (a virgin)

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>>36166438
you sound exactly like me, even the age matches
hang in there anon

>>36169614
Are you a virgin as well?
ORIGINAL

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>>36169667
what the fuck do you think, I'm sitting here with you afterall

>>36169833
Sorry friend

I hope we make it

If it helps, I plan out my conversations beforehand. They will likely not go how you planned but it can help you remember things to talk about if you don't just do it to kill time.

Really the biggest things are eye contact and just keeping the conversation going in a direction you want. I have an issue with eye contact because I constantly try to assess people and my ability to kick their ass because I want to be left alone as soon as I start talking to someone. Don't be me, do your best to enjoy talking to people.

>>36171024
>plan out conversations beforehand
This really.

>so "shy" that literally scared to talk to people I didn't know
>apply this method
>if you talk to me on the street you wouldn't know now

>>36166812
So I don't have to filter out all the dark shit in my mind?

>>36168243
This

you will never get better and you will never be able to do the things that normies do.

You need medication and I hate how there is a stigma attached to talking to a therapist who can prescribe anti-anxiety or anti-depression drugs. They really do work.

>>36171242
>So I don't have to filter out all the dark shit in my mind?
Nope, just keep it to yourself. I tried sharing it with a normie and the look he gave me and his body language told me he was extremely uncomfortable. Some people are just happy.

>>36166438
same as you but 21yo
Honestly I gave up about 2 years ago.

>>36171363
So basically I do have to filter my thoughts and get a mental block when dealing with normies.
Why would anyone want to date or marry an NPC?

>>36171843
You don't have to man, just don't tell people what you're thinking. It's easier than you think (hue) just think of kittens when someone asks "what's on your mind?" Cats. It's a normie thing that should kind of help. Also don't get married, if you're in the west you really need to wait until the laws are adjusted to not fuck men over so hard. Also wait until the divorce rate drops, it'll save you later pain.

If you're looking for casual dating I'd say try some apps for your phone while checking out your local area, cover all your bases. If you want something long term then you're taking a large risk because the thrill of infidelity can be addictive for men and women. But women will have dicks thrown at them, men have to look for crevaces.

>>36166438
You shouldn't just talk to some random qt when walking down the street whomst'd've you don't know. Go out to a club or something and at least attempt to interact, as it will probably make you better at it.

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>>36166438
>approaching and starting a conversation
People don't do actually do this, they already have lots of friends and are constantly talking to people and meeting friends of friends all the time, and they go to classes/events where they socialize, no one just cold approaches strangers, all the pickup stuff is fake, or the woman gives a fake number to get rid of you.

>>36166438
I wanna do this to help get over my social phobia, not even expecting to get any results because I know I'm not very attractive at all, but it's scary shit, man. I always get close and then stop myself.

I guess it doesn't even really matter what you talk about; normies don't really talk about deep stuff anyway, you could probably get by talking about food or something stupid like that as long as she can't tell you're nervous. It's the approaching and staying calm that is really hard.

Do you guys think it's ok to approach girls like that on uni? I'm afraid I will become known as the creepy, weird dude that hits on girls in campus, but I don't know any other places to do this. I can't deal with bars and parties.