How do I lose weight? Don't give me the usual meme advice.

Eat less

Or take hard drugs to stop you eating as much

1. Eat a balanced diet.
2. Get exercise.
3. Get plenty of sleep.
4. Repeat 1-3 until you get results that please you.

That is literally all there is to it.

>>36161429
This. Does not work.

>just calories in calories out bro
>meme
It became a meme because it's true. And when some fag asks about weight loss the only real answer is to eat less. Exercise help but it's only if you want to get in shape not lose weight, it would take you hours of cardio just to burn out one sinckers

>>36161352
Adderall, not even joking.

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Exercise is meme advice??

Being fat is the biggest meme you fucking king of memes

>>36161352
Stop calling good advice meme advice you fat retard.
Go to /fit/ and read the sticky maybe make a thread asking what routine to start with since youre a lard ass that cant find out any information on his own.

>>36161460
you don't want advice, you just made this shit thread for replies

>>36161469
>>36161480
>>36161483
>>36161409
As usual the /fit/tards invade my thread giving me meme advice.

>>36161472
no lie, Ive been doing regular one mile jogs for about a year now and all I did was drop five pounds and didnt get any bigger, which is nice but I still wanted to get under 200, just started daily 20mg adderall and between gaging just thinking about food and the fact it boosts your metabolism Ive already lost 4 pounds in two weeks. On average the calorie meme isnt a meme its fact, but my body just refuses it, I usually eat about 700-1k cals a day and still gained weight past 200lbs and im only 5'8. So your mileage may vary but cardio + calories + maybe drugs seems to be the best bet for me

There's a book that sells pretty well called bigger leaner stronger. The author says to cut calories but not long term. Doing a length calorie cut will cause you to lose lean mass too and end up as a skinnyfat dork, so he says the answer is to gradually increase the amount you eat as you gain mor muscle mass through resistance training.

Sounds pretty legit to me. I've been eating whatever I want while going to the gym and I gained 10 lbs and don't look any fatter.

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>>36161352
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKs0oEIVOck
This is the natures way, to keep your current weight you actually have to make an effort to keep stuffing your face

There is no other safe options, you can go to lyposuction or some shit and bear the scars for the rest of your life

Or you can stop being a lazy piece of shit and eat less + move more

Hell you would lose weight if you start making home cooked healthy meals and would walk instead of taking the elevator

Cut down on the sugar intake, cut down on the fast food, stop stuffing your face with chips whenever you feel peckish and stop drinking soda, drink orange juice or something instead

>Don't give me actual advice just give me easy way that i can lose weight by sitting on my ass
Only way is if you put yourself under at doctors and they literally suck the fat out of you, but that won't fix shit because you'll gain the weight right back because your lifestyle is unhealthy

Blame your parents for turning you into a spoiled feeding pig

1.Make your own meals and make them healthy or plain
2.Stop chugging liquid sugar
3.Stop eating greasy chips every time you feel peckish
4.Use your legs to move around
5.Don't drink so much beer, use vodka if you want to keep drinking

Really simple and you'll save assloads of money in comparison to your current lifestyle, even if you would start eating vegan all natural foods to reasonable intake per day you would still save money

Fat people, "yeah but how do i do it without doing anything?"

>>36161519
Cut bits of your body off.

>>36161352
Don't give me the usual meme advice.
>just calories in calories out bro
>just work out bro

That is literally all there is to it if you aren't actually crippled. If you eat more calories than you burn you store the extra. It's extremely simple. Quality of the food is not super important as long as you get some basic nutrition (proteins, some fats)
Just because you are undisciplined and want to blame your lack of self control on something other than yourself, doesn't make that the truth.

Replace all beverages with water

>>36161519
Dood. The real secret to losing weight is drinking water a lot. Aside from that you should start to smoke, it will help, but only as long as you keep on going. You can also try to suck out some fat with a needle but i'd not recommend that myself, but it works quickly.

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how can you give advice if OP just rejects it?? this makes no sense.

this is why all these threads are literally the same and why OP is fat. it's because you won't get out of denial.
you need an ass whopping, not advice.

>>36161352
>give me advice on how to lose weight
>but dont tell me any of that tried and tested crap
Ok faggot eat nothing but onions. Better?

>>36161531
>already fat
>put put more weight on
Great advice

>>36161640
OP thinks there is some magic secret that skinny people keep to themselves, the only secret magic answer is to not eat like a fucking feeding pig

But OP thinks he is being fooled, "there must be easy way! how come so many people are not fat slobs, they must know something i don't!"

In his retarded mind he cannot even grasp the idea that other people get disgusted just by seeing the daily food the guy stuffs his face with

The diet changing reality show they used to air should have told him what the secret is, the secret is he is fat because he has 0 self control due to his parents raising him wrong

Hell he doesn't even have to go on acrobatic persons diet, bodybuilders diet or a runner/swimmers diet, all he has to do is cut back on how much shit he stuffs his face with back to normal (not his normal because that is how you bloat human balloons)

Fat people are fucking disgusting sloths, i am lazy as fuck and i can admit it, but even im not lazy enough to allow myself to bloat to a flesh balloon while stuffing my face with grease and sugar

>>36161749
Not put on more weight, moron. Cut calories and gradually decrease the amount you cut as you work out in the gym.

You gain muscle mass so that you're burning more calories at rest.

>>36161352
Slowly make a regime of exercise
once a week, do sprint training and some long distance

Slowly increase the schedule until you feel like it's too much

Let's say 3-4 days a week of a good run and sprint training

Same method with food, your usual crap is fine but in moderation + it tastes even better when you haven't had it for a while

Look for cheaper options to healthy food like cheap salmon and asparagus is super simple and is good for cutting the pounds

If you want to get buff start with basic exercises (push ups, situps, squats, etc) then maybe get a gym membership or buy second hand gym stuff and make a home gym

Remember don't force yourself into it too quick and if your injured stop, don't push yourself

>>36161794
>I gained 10 lbs
>Not put on more weight, moron
If op is already fat as fuck he doesnt need to 'add muscle mass' he needs to put the fucking burger down.

>>36161833
But starving yourself without working out will royally fuck up your body and probably cause you to yo-yo back to being fat since you would have to keep eating the same pathetic amount of calories to maintain your skinnyfat body.

>>36161352
Lock yourself in a room with only protein shakes, vitamins, and water. Don't eat for however long and just survive on those. You will start dropped weight rapidly, but then once you are at your desired weight stick to a 2000 or less calorie diet religiously. That way you don't just balloon back up.

>>36161870
He doesnt have to starve himself. I bet if he told us his weight and average aily food we could cut a shit load of calories without him suffering too much. I'm not totally discounting exercise but I doubt OP is the type to commit to physical activity.

>ask for advice
>"Just eat less bro! It works for me!"

sounds like you want people to psychically deduce all details of your lifestyle and offer specific/tailored advice. my waste-of-time guesswork will be:
-stop drinking soda
-stop snacking between meals
-go out and move continuously for at least 30-60 min each day

The only way to truely lose weight is to cut the l extra weight off your body

>>36161578
This. Start with your fingers so it's harder to eat.

the way i lost weight was HIIT cardio. walk, then sprint, then walk, then sprint.
then i started seeing how fast i could do my miles, because the less time it takes to reach your mile, the quicker you can stop doing cardio, so that took practice.

i knew i wanted to lift, so i started doing circuit training. this is where you don't really care about intensity, only frequency and volume, you're trying to raise your heart rate via lifting.

i cut out soda completely and would only drink like 6oz of powerade with each meal, water with no meal. cut out sugar completely for the most part, with cheat weekends.

that's how i did it. after that, i dropped cardio and just started lifting.
losing weight makes you look stupid, your arms get all skinny.

>>36161352
The most fool proof way to lose weight is to count your calories
yeah it takes effort to build your diet, but once you're done with the list it's easy mode (as in you don't have to worry about what you're eating and how much)

you'll live by the numbers thus it becomes impossible to not lose weight, it's math, logic and law of nature

your diet should include but not overdose: chicken breast, potato(boiled and nothing else on it), brown rice (it's shit though, you can skip this if you want), boiled eggs, fumed vegetables(not boiled because they'll lose more vitamins), fish, green tea(very highly recommended, 2 cups/day, ONLY BUY DRIED LEAFS OR ABOVE QUALITY OTHERWISE IT WON'T DO SHIT, which means no teabags and look up how to properly prepare tea, otherwise you'll purge the good things when showered with too hot water)

avoid bread, sugary crap, salty crap, shit that is high in carbs (carbs are worse than fat)

eat multiple times a day but only little every time

do not go below or above your set calorie threshold otherwise your body will panic and preserve/want more

and most importantly: BUILD YOUR DIET OUT OF FOOD THAT YOU OTHERWISE LIKE TO EAT, EATING SHITTY TASTING FOOD WILL MAKE YOU STOP YOUR ROUTINE AND FALL BACK

also make a workout routine, whatever your comfortable with, remember, suffering will encourage you to stop your routine and you will probably give up

eat less and exercise. i am a cripple i lost around 30 pounds eating less and exercise.

>>36161519

Take laxatives after every meal. This is solid non-meme advice.

>>36161519
You can't just put your hands to your ears and scream "meme advice" whenever you hear something you don't want to hear.

>>36161352
It's very easy. I dropped 40lbs in ~6 months without lifting a finger. All you need is the basic understanding of how weight gain/loss works and you can gain command over it.

More important, I should think, than knowing how it all works though is making yourself very damn aware of the types of foods you're eating. If you live in the USA, most of the food you buy is food by technicality. You're going to have to start preparing your own meals from scratch with real ingredients. You'll also wind up saving money this way.

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>>36161352
If your goal is to lose weight, don't work out. People greatly underestimate the amount of calories they burn working out and overeat to compensate. It's also going to make it harder to control yourself since you'll be even more tired/hungry.

You want the real way to lose weight, starve yourself. I'm 5'10" and I used to be 300 pounds and was fat my entire life until I started, and now I'm 140 pounds. Usually ate 1 300 calorie "meal" a day. My tip is try to delay eating as long as possible, say to yourself you'll eat in an hour and do something to distract yourself then when that hour is up it doesn't seem so hard to put it off for another. Keep doing this until you're kind of tired, then go to bed early and you went the whole day without eating. Icewater, diet coke, celery, and bubble gum are also your friends. Honestly I just have a bit of an oral fixation and like to be chewing/tasting something, so just drinking diet coke and chewing gum helped a lot.

Don't worry about loose skin(if you're young at least). Stretch marks suck, but unless you are super morbidly obese loose skin isn't really very noticeable, and even if it is, it's better than being fat.

>>36162425
Is that image you? Got cute as fuck.

Duromine prescription.

Research it and thank me later.

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>>36162467
Yeah, left is 2013, but I didn't start losing weight until 2014. Here is me at my worst.

You got time,Op?
Start walking.
Simply that nothing else.
Start walking, don't stop.
Walk on until the very thought of "Shit I'll have to walk all that BACK too" fills you no longer just with nagging worry, but with horror.
At that point turn around and do exactly that that, walk back.
Tomorrow, after you looked at your bloody feet in disgust and listened to the screams of their nerve endings, do it again.
After 1-2 weeks and probably some new sets of shoes you'll have lost weight like you wouldn't believe.

>>36162515
Damn. OP listen to this guy unless you've quite the thread to make a run to the fridge.

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>>36162425
Damn, that's pretty much me. I used to weigh 365 pounds, am down to 325 now. I have been lifting for 3 years and finally hit 1.5/3/4/5 lifts, now I just need to keep losing. Lifting at such a heavy weight sucks.

>>36161352
Learn what your TDEE is, eat 500 to 1,000 calories below maintenance. It's that simple, you don't need to exercise at all. Your body burns a certain amount of energy(calories) every day to maintain itself. Eat below what your body naturally burns and you're good to go.

>>36161352
Low carb -- high protein -- moderate fat (1:2:1 ratio) on a calorie deficit worked for me anon. Also walked a lot and did planks. I've lost twenty pounds in three months.

>>36161352
Cold shower daily, sleep on hard service. Itll fly off

>>36161352
just calories in calories out bro

Drink a kale smoothie every other day and the fat should drop right off OP

>>36161352
>Don't give me the usual meme advice.
>>just calories in calories out bro
But that is literally all it is???
Take what you're eating daily now and cut it down by 500 calories for a week and see what happens.

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>>36161352

Try the Potato diet, OP.

Just go through your day eating nothing but potatoes. Pretty soon you'll get sick of eating the same thing and you'll just naturally start to eat less.

even if at you beginning you eat a lot of potatoes, they're only 77 calories each, so if you eat 20 throughout the day, that's 1540 calories, which is enough for you to lose weight anyway.

>>36161352
Gum, coffee, and walks when trying to avoid hunger pangs when dieting.
Gum is often ~5 calories, which is burned off with 1 hour of you chewing it, but also stimulates the idea of eating.
Coffee can give you energy and stimulates your stomach, so just drink it black or with a little bit of creamer for taste (would only be like 40 cal a cup). If none of those are doing it for you, whenever you feel hungry and you know you shouldn't eat yet, go on a walk outside.

Also, before you eat your meals, drink like 4 cups of water before taking your first bite, then drink as usual as you eat, and then drink another cup or two directly after finishing the meal. It will help you feel full without gaining anything but water weight you will piss out in a few hours.

>>36162233

This is how you damage your GI tract in the long term.

>>36161352
And for OP: You shouldn't have gained weight in the first place, healthy habits formed at a young age are a guaranteed way to remain at a healthy weight.

Follow the meme advice, it actually works.
>Eat 3 healthy/balanced meals a day (this means more vegetables/fruit than anything else)
>Exercise (walking on treadmill is baby-time frolics, actually push yourself to the point where you're sweating and out of breath.
>Drink/smoke less if you partake in these habits
>You can have cheat days but ensure they are not taking over your healthy days

Best tip of all:
>Patience is a virtue
>You won't change overnight, it will take weeks to months

>>36163135
Not OP but how long until you start lacking vital nutrients?

>>36161352
Pro tip: Being bored and just sitting at home browsing the internet is your enemy. If you have nothing to focus your mind on that is stimulating past funny memes making you laugh, when you get feelings of hunger its going to be very easy to cave into it. You have to make yourself actually busy, so your brain will be too distracted to give you the hunger pangs.

>>36163245
Not long, but that is why multivitamins exist.
If you find a good multivitamin (Check Amazon, its amazing what they fit into pills), as long as you take that everyday, you can basically diet off of anything safely-- even if the food holds nearly no nutritional value.

Note though, it is preferred that you still try to eat as much nutrient rich food as possible when dieting.

>>36161352
I went from 228 to 214lbs in 5 or 6 days by eating 500 calories a day. I also joined myproana.com for support because no healthy person would support my diet. I want to be 140 by September.

>>36161352
>How do I lose weight?
for purely losing weight do the following

this is gonna get ignored because >le plebbit, but go here https://www.reddit.com/r/1200isplenty/

look at what theyre eating. then eat it so youre around 1200-1500 calories per day.

do 1 hour of cardio in the morning and 1 hour at night monday through saturday (for the cardio put treadmill on max incline and set speed to 3 mph). sunday is your rest day from the gym.

every other sunday eat whatever/however much you want

that's it. that's all it takes to just lose weight (this is basically a less extreme version of this >>36163383)

youre not gonna do it because it takes a lot of self-discipline and since youre a fat nigger we know you have none of that. if you do try it youre going to give up after 3 days anyway.

>>36161352
Also op, I'm the 500 calories anon again, if you give me a throwaway I can give you lots of tips for being less hungry and speeding up your metabolism.

>>36163292
I'll give it a shot. You can microwave potatoes for easy cooking, too.

>walk for at least twenty minutes per day
>keep a list of everything you eat and drink and the exact number of calories in each thing
>eat only 1500-2000 calories per day
Congratulations, you are now losing multiple pounds per week. But you don't have the willpower to do that, right? You want soda and pizza and cake more than you want to lose weight. You hate yourself and just want to enjoy sugar and saturated fats until you die. You have no interest in knowing what it's like to be sexually desired or to perform physical feats.

>>36163794
>you are now losing multiple pounds per week

With your plan, you'll only lose one or two pounds a week, unless you're super obese.