I can't believe I'm only living on this Earth for one

it doesn't really matter then does it. it doesn't matter if youre flying around the world fucking new people every night or sitting by yourself on a computer. stop conforming to the "I have to be things all the time for my life to mean anything" meme. explore your thoughts. you'll be happier.

>>36147256
Stay in drugs
Don't do school
Eat your teeth

>>36147576
trust me, I've tried the same meme that you're suggesting me to do, and sure, I did feel happy at first, I felt so happy that I was actually motivated to try and live my life.

Then shit happened and now I'm waiting on a diagnosis for my mentality, I'm having delusions so now I can't even relax properly

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>>36147809
honestly, what the fuck am I suppose to do? I can never be comfortable again, it feels like I've been on guard for the past 3 months, from every morning to every nights sleep I think of the same fucking experience, and then my own delusions to top it off

but I don't want to die

>>36148016
just go do whatever you want i guess. you're just gonna die anyways.

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>>36148055
I want to be happy and feel loved..

I have people that want me, and I want them too BUT MY FUCKING DELUSIONS ARE SCARING ME AWAY FROM THEM!!

>>36148141
either get drugs or come to a true realization that your entire existence is through your brain that you control and that whining about things on a 4chan board doesn't help.

>>36148278
>>36147809
I said I'm in the middle of waiting on a diagnosis

I've tried looking at other stories of people with schizophrenia because of how my delusions are in that field, I can find some relation to them which I can't tell if it confirms my beliefs or if it confirms that I'm mentally ill

I recall being a kid and telling myself to enjoy having a healthy brain and to remember what it was like to be sane.

A lot of experiences in my life connects theories and I fear for the future, I try really hard to convince myself that I'm just going crazy as fuck

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>>36148016
tb h this sounds like me
>>36148557
hang in there (OP) find peace within yourself and take care of your body and mind. it's going to hurt but over time you'll get stronger and more able to cope with the tough times