I hate my friends >18, robot, cyborg, spergy, etc >have

>>36125842
>we walk around on the cliffs
>whenever I go outside I always feel bad since I live in such a beautiful place but never go outside
>literally live three blocks away from the beach but never go outside
>we walk down to the lighthouse, lean on the railing, watch the surfers
>talk about nothing
>somewhere in my retard brain I find the idea to start talking about obscure fetishes like futanari, Necro, loli, giantess, vore, scat
>why
>just dropping them in the conversation, throwing buzzwords around, feeling like I'm in some secret club
>he chuckles a bit but is repulsed by the idea of giantess vore
>obviously I don't tell him I love it
>talk about how I would like to be a commissioned hentai translater, make good money with that
>why would I do this, why why
>my sister came along, she talks to his cousin, they chat about doctor who and shit
>me and friend chat about anime, I ask him if he saw the new SnK episode
>says he's rewatching it rn, but he doesn't watch that much anime
>I know this so I don't really bring up anything current
>we begin to walk down to the wharf

>>36125929
>We walk down the wharf
>suddenly I think of goatse for no reason
>ask him if he knows goatse
>he doesnt
>I tell him he should see it
>he's interested but a little worried
>I find a picture after some searching
>oh yes
>pretend to take a selfie with him
>turn on phone and see goatse
>his reaction is perfect
>we laugh, he cries, very confused and upset
>We consider walking up to a random person and taking a goatse selfie with them
>we never do
>walk to the end of the wharf
>watch the seals
>a wild pajeet family appears
>again I go full retard mode and make tons of "poo in loo" and "designated shitting street" jokes
>they ask us to take their picture
>we do, they leave.
>nothing bad happens
>we begin to walk back

Then??? Pls post or have you hanged yourself?

>>36126019
>the entire way back we chat about dead memes and "let secrit club"
>I feel like a retard but I'll feel stupid if I don't say anything
>try and save the situation
>pull out my Bluetooth speaker again
>turn on Shine on You Crazy Diamond
>pretend to feel all enlightened
>try and save the mood
>of course it starts super slow and quiet and I feel stupid
>eventually turn it off
>try turning on 8 Sides of Nico Nico Douga
>not as good if you haven't seen it and if you are only listening
>turn on shooting stars
>we stand on the curb andake wierd dancing moves like an old man jumping off a high dive while his iPhone seven plays music in the background
>I leave it playing after it stops being funny
>walk while convulsing gently back and forth, people looks at us funny
>finally stop
>stop playing memes on my phone
>bring up a YLYL thread
>we laugh at that as we walk home, less awkward than listening to music
>get back to truck
>drive home, listen to more gorillaz in backseat
>drop us off
>they go home
>go in my room
>immediate intense regret and embarrassment at my severe retardation
>write an autistic greentext that nobody cares about
>go to sleep without checking for replies
>pray that someone gave me a (You) as I was sleeping
>finally close my eyes and turn over and over in circles trying to get comfortable
>browse /r9k/ until late at night
>consider suicide
>again

He's my only friend but I don't want to go and do anything with him. But I always say yes because I'm terrified of what's going to happen if I say no. I could easily lose my last friend.
I hate this

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Kys dawg, why do you talk about memes with your friend?

I fucked a hooker the other and felt great, had sex and I was happy. It doesn't last long but it's nice. Whatever floats your boat