>drinking alcohol >alone >the more drunk I get the more

>>36123624
Im in my room, drunk, reading your words and feeling a connection with you. You're not alone, you have an entire board of best friends who understand every emotion you experience. And we'll always be here

>>36123670

Thank you anon. I am so depressed, sometimes I go out walking and seeing other people living their life, and I feel like an alien who cannot share in those things. I feel like something essential is missing in me. This website is like my home. Everywhere else I'm an outsider, looking at the world from the edges, always wanting to join but never knowing how.

>>36123624
I did this for about 2 years anon.
You get used to it and come to like it.
I developed an alcohol dependency though. It's just anesthetic for a shitty life and it makes you even more depressed after you're an alcoholic.
My health went to shit from the drinking so I stopped 2 weeks ago.
Depression broke, feeling pretty good.
Enjoying things like reading, movies and video games again or just being outside doing stuff in the garden

>>36123736
Don't compare yourself to baby brain normies on the street. If you really want to socialize, find something local that you're into. Video games, anime, whatever. The internet is an unlimited data base of opportunities at your finger tips. Isolation is self imposed

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>>36123624
>so you go out, 'to be apart of it'
>got your run of the mill group of dudebro buds or what the fuck ever
>you go out for dem brews
>nothing changed
>they're carrying on and having a grand ol time
>you nurse your drink trying to speak up occasionally but their loud gladhanded antics drown you out
>maybe now and then one slaps your back and says ANON BRO, SO QUIET OVER THERE, SUP DUDE
>you stutter out some gibberish that you end with 'heh' and try to assure him youre good, dawg
>but you aren't good, dawg
>and you never will be

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>tfw just got back home from a bar and feel shitty
Even when I'm out and about I don't talk much with people and I left without saying by to anyone. I'm awkward as shit.

>>36123815
Yeah you have to find something to do when you have the urge to drink. I haven't found it yet

>>36123989
Just tell yourself "NO"
like literally say it.
Just do your normal things without drinking for a week and you'll feel the changes and make it 2 weeks.
I'm enjoying stuff I haven't enjoyed in ages, vidya etc. Gonna go the rest of the month then decide if I'm gonna have a drink.

Everyone's different though

>>36123736

You're not alone.

Failed normie/cyborg here.

>>36123624
Make friends with people at your work, if you don't have a job just go up to someone who looks lonely, say "hey man, I'm bored, what do you like?" I have made 2 good buds doing this and 3 aqaintences. Give it a go anon, I'm praying for you

>>36123736
There are so many of us, Even though we are alone, we aren't

>>36124068
I mean, I only drink heavily on the weekends after I had to miss work twice due to feeling sick, so I definitely improved. You give good advice. A lot of times I think I'll have fun for the night drinking and playing vidya, but I get too drunk and don't end up doing it.

Thank you for everything you've said in this thread. I am going to take your advice to heart.

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>tfw I get drunk alone I start making cuts in my body

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>>36123624
Hey anon, when I'm doing shit like that, I like to listen to funny compilations from radio shows or podcasts.
It makes it kinda feel like there's people around having a good time, and it's all pretty dark and funny, so I'm not thinking about the misery.
Here's my favorite laugh compilation.
https://youtu.be/KVzqjW0Dpuc

>>36124126
You're pretty much like me then.
Weekends I'd get ripped, wake in the morning and straight into it, spent most the time sleeping or just laying in bed. Motivation killed, enjoyment in every little thing killed.

I drank a bit through the week though, not too much as I also have a job.

>tfw craving a drink
I have this whiskey thirst right now. If only I could be assed to go outside.

>>36124263
Glad to know you're doing better. I'm also done drinking during the week. Small steps

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>>36123624
>>36123736
Damn, man... those... those words... I mean, it's Saturday night, it's a chilly night here in Florida, a perfect time to go to the beach at night, with some friends, or family, but most preferably with a lover, since I got none of those, I'm here sitting in my dark room, while the light of the moon enters my window, I'm drinking and smoking weed, I feel like shit, I don't feel good at all but I smoke and drink so my loneliness doesn't look so boring and depressing.

I am depressed, I am alone, I feel like every time I'm about to have a connection with someone, for some reason my destiny takes those people away from me so I can go back to being depressing and miserable.

My only friend at school became my roommate 3 years ago, he was like my brother, we were always together, he helped me I helped him, he invited me to sleep in an empty room at his house when I was homeless, a new bromance was born. About 2 years ago, he fell in love with a girl that lived in Mexico, (he was a mexibro) so he went back to Mexico and got married to her, we talk sometimes, but it's not the same, he's not here anymore.

I've been dreaming of having a girlfriend so my demons will not torment me so much when I'm drunk and alone like I am now, but for some reason I think that's forbidden for me. Every time I meet a girl that's a potential mate to be my girlfriend, life takes her away from me, it's like I've been cursed to live my whole life like this. I'm tired of being alone, I want company, my brothers come to visit me some times, but I don't wanna bother them because they have wives and kids, they're always busy. I happen to be the oldest one and the only one who still doesn't have kids and have never kissed a girl (I think they don't know it...)

I feel like you're going through the same I'm going through, I never thought there were other people living the same hell I'm living.

hey if you dont give a shit what happens here is my advice.

1. learn about dark web
2. acquire bitcoins and buy some mdma of dark web
3. find a party that seems semi-cool doesnt matter what music or whether you like it or not just has to seem cool to you.
4. go to party and consume 80-160 mg of mdma start out with 80 mg and up your dose if you dont feel anything.

5. have great time enjoy talking to people. feel normal people feels. feel what its like to be able to talk to people and forge meaningful connections.

I was a loner with no friends. Here are the effects of MDMA.

1. euphoria you will be happy
2. lightness and pleasant experience feels pretty much opposite of depression
3. emotional connection with people
4. feeling of profoundness.

literally just dont give a fuck. This is something easy you can do from home to change your life. your brain is not going to change by itself. all those ppl that say go out and dont be depressed have no fucking idea. You should probs go to therapy but fuck that who has the money time and effort.

you can literally get this drug sent to your house and what do you have to lose. I did it now i have friends, a semi-decent career, a gf and go on holiday to cool places.

drugs wont cure your problems but they will let you see how to change.

gl my brobot

>>36124401

Even If I were to go out I'd feel lonely. I've been to parties very rarely a few years ago, and every time I felt like I didnt belong and that I was looking at it from outside my body, like I didnt belong, everyone there was connected to the world and humanity but I was just on the edges being disconnected from it all

Im never connected to anyone. I dont understand. Im lonely literally all the time.

>drink with others
>lose inhibition
>throw up on self
It's not all that it's cracked up to be desu

>>36124527
please refer to my post above. I had the same problem. What you have is not something that is wrong with you it is an illness. Your brain malfunctioning. You can fix it by taking some mdma and you will feel completely normal. enjoying conversation being friendly and outgoing and loving it.

>>36124508

>>36124508

why cant my brain feel normal people feels? what am i missing?

>>36124616
So u have to be on mdma all the time

You didn't ask for advice, but here is some: Don't drink around new peopel until you've got yourself under control with the booze. You will not make new friends by drinking yourself stupid.

That said, after balcking out by myself for a few years I decided to stop drinking alone. I haven't had a drink in 900 days.

>>36125068
solid advice though