Why are you not joining the military? We're on the brink

I did join. Why haven't you?

>>36122261
Because I'm weak and have bad posture and gyno and I'm afraid that the other recruits or whatever will make fun of me.

>>36122302
the military will fix that.

>brink of a world war

>implying anyone is going to war over Bashar al-Assad

I tried to join but got permanently disqualified

>>36122231
>We're on the brink of another world War

again?

I have spent the past 4 years at one of the top 5 IR schools in the nation. Now I'm enlisting in the military. I've literally written a dozen papers about why a limited war with China might be a good idea, and now I'm going to go put my ideas to the test by going there.

I'm a fucking retard.

>>36122342
Without the military I have no reason to fear that. Also

>fixing gyno

explain how we're on the brink of another ww

>>36122394
The main reason you'd be a retard is if you actually enlist instead of commissioning as an officer.

>>36122231
I'll sign up when it's clear the end of the war is in sight. In both the prior world wars, the regular forces were cut to pieces in the early years. Even if you aren't fucked up early on, it's tough to go through years of war and come out the other side in one piece, and world wars tend to drag out to some extent. So I'll join up late, that way I'm a veteran, but not maimed. Then I'll exaggerate my contributions later in life. I'll write a memoir filled with outright lies! People will investigate my claims, and I'll call them cowards and traitors. It's gonna be sweet.

every day multiple times a day
this fucking thread

why do people keep taking the autistic recruitment bait

>>36122452
Why do people respond to half the threads out there?

God alone knows.

If I'm going to die, i want it to be on my fucking terms, not because some retarded power hungry shit brain that has power over me for whatever reason wants me to give my life for a country i fucking hate

>>36122572
This so much mate. So fucking much

>>36122446
In order to commission, I'd have to go through OCS. Way too much work, not interested.

>>36122572
Oh dear God this is absolutely adorable. Who do you think controls the popular culture that has shaped your mind since infancy? I'll tell you. It was a retarded power hungry shit brain.

Retards run the world, anon. Merit doesn't matter, all that matters is who your dad is.

>>36122231
I just hope its a meme war, I'm too fat and old to fight in a real one

File: 1485765291505.jpg (62KB, 840x544px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 840x544px

>going off to die pointlessly in some 3rd world desert shithole

No thanks

>>36122644
In order to enlist you have to go through bootcamp. Easier than OCS but if you're concerned about doing too much work you 1) probably shouldn't be in the military and 2) definitely don't actually go to a top college.
Plus ODS is a thing if you want to be in the military without doing a "military job."

>>36122696
>Easier than OCS but if you're concerned about doing too much work you 1) probably shouldn't be in the military and 2) definitely don't actually go to a top college.

I do go to a top college. Idk how I made it this far, by all rights I shouldn't have even graduated HS but here I am. I played sports in HS, grew up swimming since I was like 3, and I don't question authority, I'll do fine in bootcamp.

When I die fuck it I want to go to hell
Cos I'm a piece of shit it, ain't hard to fucking tell
Resting in heaven, lounging in paradise,
fuck that I want to toke guns and shoot dice