>"Anon, can you come over here for a minute? Sit dow

>>36113714
*farts*

uh no.

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>>36113714
You mean opening up as wide as your beefcurtains do for Chad? FUCK OFF.

>>36113714
Sorry but I have a 5 inch dick and you will end up cucking me or laughing at me right now

>>36113714
>no woman will ever say this to me

almost got me a little sad

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Maybe you should think the next time before jumping on Jamal's cock while sucking Chad off. I'm a person too, you cunt, I have feelings. I should've listened to the strangers on taiwanese stamp collecting internet board, they warmed me about women.
Get the fuck out.

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>>36114706
>"stacy check it out anon sent me a dick pic last night
>"omg it's so small he might as well not be a man with that thing, what a loser"

is this what you wanted

>>36114767
Probably, although sexual desire is just hormones aren't they? I wonder if there is a way to just get rid of that shit, I'm clearly never going to score with this shitty 5 inch.

>russian weebs love gooks
HOW DID WE LOSE THE ONLY WOMEN WHO MATTER BROS

>>36114837
it's not all about dick size from what i've heard.

some whore i used to be friends with dated a lot of guys with small dongs (4-5 inches) and from what she told me it was still enjoyable.

Is there a pastebin with all of these? I'd like to read them.

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Do you think Chad usually cums on her face or in her pusy(female)?

>>36114982
probably both multiple times

>>36114915
>it's not all about dick size from what i've heard.
And you actually believe it? Don't be delusional, of course size matters a lot.
>still enjoyable.
Not enough I bet. If the shit about the spots is true, G is the weakest, and I know for a fact thanks to my own dick that after getting pleasure in the same spot for so long, the pleasure will keep lowing everytime, nothing tops the first time I fapped. Hitting A spot for the first time must feel good as shit, and I sure as shit can't do that with my shit dick.

What I know 100% is that if it's a giant dick, you won't score either unless you are fucking a literal slut. It actually hurts. I have a friend with a monster cock and girls just won't fuck him because he ends up hurting them, he hurts so much that not even prostitutes want to be with him.

>>36113714
>You just have to open up a little more. Do you think you can do that?"
I don't know, I only tried once when I was on shrooms and I didn't make any difference.

>>36115166
if it's any comfort to you i've got a 7 1/2 incher and i'm still not gonna get any

i think the dick size is more of a little extra good thing because usually the first thing you really do with someone is get to know them, what they're packing underneath is a lesser concern

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>>36113714
>finally get a gf
>tell her about my feelings
>"man up"
>"lol edgy XD"
>"haha anon you're such a pussy XD"
>gf asks me why I don't open up to her
>tell her that she ridicules me and discrads my feelings as though they're nothing
>she gets defensive
women are a fucking meme

>>36115275
I'm very good at figuring out people by puttting myself in their shoes and using their mentality, guessing what the possible result is.

And for my small dick, if I was a girl, I'm sure even if I liked the guy a lot, I would be extremely disappointed to see that, and start having second thoughts. If I commented that to my friends it would get worse and I would actually drop the guy even if I liked him.

I know I'm fucked, this is why I wish there was a way to get rid of sexual desires altogether, it's sad, but there is no point in being delusional.

>>36115344
>finally get a gf
Get out ya transgemdered wog

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>>36113714
>"omg anon is such a crybaby"
>"honestly if Chad comes back I'm cheating on anon"
>"hes such a loser haha"

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>"Anon, HEY ANON over here! Gosh, I've been waiting for like, thirty minutes now, I thought you weren't gonna show up! Okay, so I've got some bad news Anon...the rest of my friends told me last minute that they couldn't hangout with us today. The good news is that we can probably choose a movie that we both like instead of-...err..Anon, what do you mean we should cancel the hangout? I mean you just got here, there's no point in you going straight home, right? I don't think it's a waste of time, plus I think we can still have a great time! If it makes you feel better we could just change this hangout into a date, would you want that?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GY_S0Xoo02A

>>36115760
>this slutty outfit
Red flag, drop the whore

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>>36114967
I used to start these threads and people would contribute their own greentexts. Seems like a lot of the creative types have left r9k though.

>implying a woman would ever say something that mature/introspective

Lmao here's the real version
>ew you fucking creep don't speak to me that way?! We're so done. And to think I was gonna let you do my laundry.

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This fucking thread again
im not crying at this moment

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>>36113714
>Anon, I've noticed you seem down a lot
>Can I ask you something, and you can be honest
>Do you feel a bit...lonely? You don't seem to have too many friends
>You can always talk to me anon, I don't want you to feel alone. I like it when you're around :)

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>"Hey Anon, what do you see up there? I've been looking at the sky for so long but it seems like no matter which cloud i focus on, it's always the same image. It's always us. That one over there is us solving a jigsaw puzzle...that squiggly one over there is that time we went swimming down by the lake. It's kind of weird to look up there though...since I can just turn my head a little bit and see the real thing."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz2odCUYvkA

>>36116284
those threads are the reason i started going on /r9k/ in the first place

i miss them

>>36117283
holy fuck that was a strong one, it feels like a punch to the gut

>>36113714
It's pretty funny, I can't even picture myself ever being in a relationship with a girl, so all my fantasies involve me being good friends with a qt, not even being in a romantic relationship with them because that's so beyond the realm of plausibility.

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>"Anon, it's not your fault. I don't want you to keep thinking about all the mistakes you've made or the bad things that've happened in the past. Everyone has things that they regret. Everyone deals with things they didn't accomplish or things they couldn't become. What matters is that I love you Anon. I love you, okay? It's going to be okay.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LKbYhEwUoE