Late nght check in /r9k/. What is everyone up to tonight/this

Been feeling like a soulless robot all day but I guess things could be worse

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>>36058600

>Voice in the back of head keeps saying "Look anon, you know you have to kill yourself. Why are you procrastinating?"

I'm gonna have to do it.

I'm a fucking dumbass who has no idea what to do. I keep pushing off schoolwork, I need to find a job soon or I'll work for my dad. My grades aren't that bad yet at least. I have no friends in uni. I'm afraid of everything, I'm disappointed in myself. I'm tired of living at home, I'm tired of feeling like I'm wasting my time in college. I wanted to try hobbies but I never stick to them. I tried a diet, took me one day to fail. I can't even learn stuff properly, I have no skill whatsover. I talk like a retard. I write like a third-grader. I'm wasting hours on this website. I'm 19 and I'm fully conscious that I'll look back at that very moment when I'm 26 and regret everything. I'm a piece of garbage, I have to wake up in 4 hours, somebody fuck my shit up. I'm tired of not being myself, I'm ugly as sin. I'm tired of being a people pleaser, I'm a misfit.

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>>36058631
thats sad to hear, but I think if we're on this board we've all been there at some point, sometimes you just need a little(more frequently BIG) push to get you moving. What that push is comes down to you or maybe youre fine where you are which is understandable, you dont feel emotion so why would you want to start? Everything has its ups and downs though.

>>36058600
Im about to get kicked out of my parents house and will be lliving in my car with only like $300. Im actually kinda looking forward to traveling. Where should i go? (West coast USA)

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>>36058600
Not much really, was basically working on some law-related stuff for my studies, and I've decided not to sleep tonight. it worked pretty well so far considering it's 7 AM here.

>unrelated pic of my desk

i'm working on an invention to capture and store farts. it will be like a pair of very tight fitting underwear, connected to a fanny pack that has a storage bag behind an air lock valve.

when i get the concept right, then i can work on adding the networking hardware to connect to an app so it tells you how much you have farted and you can have contests with your friends and track how much you fart, etc.

it will be like a fitbit, but for farts.

>>36058681
Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before things can start to look up. So what if the things youre doing now arent for you? You can find something that is, the fact you realise that you can and will have a better time in the future is already showing wonders for your mentality. Just keep on keeping on and know your not alone, the change doesnt have to be now but you can make something work eventually. Keep your head up anon!

>>36058600
I usually listen to the same songs over and over again and think about my ex

and now i think due to the alcohol there is a pain on the lower left side of my head, right above the ear

i have severe hypochondria and slight paranoia

i just want to cuddle with her (female) again

>>36058712
well west coast is a land of opportunity if you decide to stay in the area! If not you still have plenty of coices, when I turned 18 I got kicked out when we we're living in rural north carolina with my clothes in a backpack and a cellphone with a month of minutes. We didnt even have public transportation there! Managed to hitch rides to a big city where I caught a grehound out of state doing odd jobs here and there to get by. If youre somewhat clever you can figure something out for yourself I know it!

>>36058775
Sometimes good people get hurt, I remember my love that broke my spirit. Spend everyday the month after doing whatever drugs I could get untill I realised I want helping myself by getting high and thinking about her. Made big changes in my life and with that came the distraction I needed to distance myself from her. Its difficult I know, but we all move on eventually so why make the hurt even worse by making ourselves thing about it. Probably not very good advise but its what I got, wish you luck in your journey anon!

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So lately I've been wondering: how come I never felt love? I see people here having a crush on someone, or just find sexual attraction to someone. But how come I've never felt that?
Either I've been so blind to it that I never realized at one point i felt love, or I just never felt it. For quite some time, my parents would tell me it's fine, that I'll find love later, but I'm 21 now...
How many here are in the same situation?
I actually don't feel bad about it, I think it's quite a positive, given that it allows me to act naturally with women as I'd do with men (I can allow myself to do that once it's someone I know from 1/2 years), and I don't have "no gf" feel. but at the same time, I feel like there is something wrong with that: am I going to miss on it later? Maybe will I look back at this time in my life when I had no feelings of love and think it was a waste, or that I should have gone for it.
Overall, I don't ever appreciate social interactions, and maybe it has to do with it: I'm not particularly extrovert, but I'm still able to hold fairly normal conversations because I trained myself for years. Despite all of this, I never feel happiness from it, so maybe not having any romantic feeling is a direct consequence?
Anyway, rambling's over.

Irrelevant story, just feel like sharing
>work retail
>hours are always different every week
>think my shift is from 7-12pm so I set my alarm for 6pm and take a nap
>wake up, double check schedule just to be sure
>6-12pm
>Already late so I just panic and get ready for work and drive to the park and stay in my car until it's time to go
>next day decide that I'll come in for my shift and pretend that I forgot I had work
>don't start work until the afternoon, go out in the morning
>come back, check my schedule again and realize that I read the wrong time and that my shift was already over
>panic again and go back to the park
>got a letter from work saying that they assume my 2 no shows in a row and considered as a resignation
>no job, accidentally quit apparently
>to afraid to tell mom
>pretend to go to work for 2 months while secretly going to the park to play on my ds until it was time to go home
>gave mom financial aid from college and told her they were my paychecks
>spend this time also looking for another job
>finally get hired somewhere cleaning cars for a little above minimum wage
>nobody knows about what happened still

my gay fucking thread belongs here probably

I'm drunk enough to be honest

Do regular people know/think about other people's feelings easily? I've fucked up so many friendships in one misjudged moment. It hurts so bad, especially because I can't just talk with the person about our feelings. It seems like some kind of social taboo.
I've fucked up my life so badly. It's unbelievable. I have excuses on excuses. I don't even know that I'm lying to myself (and everyone) unless I'm intoxicated. I live a life where I constantly distract myself so I don't have to think about things. I secretly feel like I'm mentally fucked up so I have a reason to fail at everything. I don't even know why I'm typing this. Maybe I just needed to tell someone.

Holy fuck our world is so fucked up.

>>36059495
you made amends, that's better than most people

>>36059543
Nope, er not usually, and thats the sad thing. People dont see us as people anymore we're just their aquantince there to be around when they want to do what they want. Its hard to find someone you can actually have a conversation with anymore instead of them just regurgitating what they read on social media, gosh its infurating. So I know where your comming from and those type of people I try to keep out of my life because they aint helping shit to me. When you find someone to have meaningfull conversations with you hold on tight to that motherfucker because theyre a rare breed

>>36059848
fuck you, you fucked up my life and I can't fix it. I'll never forgive you. If I didn't enjoy ilving I'd fucking kill you

>>36059925
I sincerely apologize on my behalf, but can you elaborate a little on this?

>>36059952
fuck you john, you're so mentally ill you don't even know you have a problem. you're seriously the worse person I have ever had the displeasure of interacting with
on the off chance you're not my john, sorry mate

>>36060001
I think I would remember ruining a fellow /r9k/ers life, Im not a usual namefag but I thought it help me keep track in this thread. A little info, Hello! Im john, 20, m, east coast us with bipolar being my only diagnosed mental issue. So if it was me that fucked you over I apologize and if I wasnt than I accept your apology, either way I hope you work it out and have a good night mate, cheers!

>>36058600
I appreciate this thread op.

>>36060069
if you're being honest, you're someone else. I was being hasty, sorry

>>36058752
Instrayting

>>36060085
the conditional applies to the apology, if that wasn't clear

>>36060085
No need to apologize you are clearly have a reason to be so angry, no harm no foul as far as im concerned, I wish luck with this john that has done something so terrible to you!

>>36059332
>I see people here having a crush on someone, or just find sexual attraction to someone. But how come I've never felt that?
>Either I've been so blind to it that I never realized at one point i felt love, or I just never felt it.


Fuk man y your typing so stocky.
This is a fat wall of text man.

I share your beginning post.
But i need some time to digest the rest.

Fuknim going blind m8

>>36060120
Sorry mate...I got carried away I guess.

>>36058600
Oh fuck
I just woke up and barfed all over myself
I almost made it to the bathroom in time but I left q fucking trail
My toilets full to the brim and I just showered all of it off
I don't even know where to start, I'm just standing in my kitchen trying to avoid the smell

>>36059332
I don't know mate, I feel the same
>>36060107
you're better than me to freely give such undeserved forgiveness

>>36060168
Oh my anon thats quite a morning, what brought you to this if you dont mind my prying mind?

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>>36060204
I'm not even sure
I think it's because I didn't eat lunch yesterday then I ate my dinner really fast
It probably fucked up my stomach, I've been feeling nauseous all night, haven't gotten any sleep. I've brushed my teeth like 10 times, I have no idea how to get the taste out. I still feel like there might be a round two, I don't think I'm going in for work today

>>36060320
fuck off Ignatius

>>36060165
Fuck.
I lost the will to form a thing with you.
I apologize.

This happens a lot.

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>work up the courage to get a job
>dont expect much but its actually fucking horrendous, surrounded by new hires quitting after like a few days, minimum wage, insulted by shit coworkers and management, etc
>am now used to the shittyness and while i dont like it, im too scared to go thru the process of getting a new job
>its been like 6 months and i keep telling myself every day that ill stop putting up with this shit
>tfw unhappy with my entire life but afraid of changing anything

>>36060333
Welp, I don't really care...I'm tired so I'm just going to get a small nap going.

>>36060320
Thats interesting, most people wouldnt have problems like that just from a missed meal followed by a fast one, have you seen a doctor anon?

>>36060351
Thats the way most people live their lives at low teir jobs. The grass may be greener somewhere else but what you have is working so why put in the effort to even try for something else. It just take a breeze to get the ball rolling into greener pastures so do with that as you may, I hope you do that courage you so desperately desire anon!

>>36060372
I think I'll have to
It may be the flu or a stomach bug, regardless I feel like shit and I can't find any advice on how to feel better

>>36060449
Pepto and light foods from now on, I really suggest a doctor as you may have something like an irritable stomach lining that can be treated to a degree

>>36060498
I know you aren't being real, so fuck off

>>36058600
It's a nice thing that people still do that type of threads i used to do.


With the same image,hour and meaning

>>36060512
Sorry to see you feel that way, ill leave you be anon, I wish you well though!

I just want to have an interaction without being bound by conversational dynamics
>>36060543
you can't fool me, so don't try

>>36060543
This >>36060512
Isn't me
But I did clean up my bed, I'm washing the blankets and sheets now. I need to get some rest in case I have to come in. Good night bud

>>36060626
Ah thanks for clarifying, sleep tight and sweet dreams anon! Hopefully you wake up better the second time

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>>36058600
i'm sitting here waiting until i get bored enough to go to bed so i can wake up and do the exact same shit i've been doing for years now

>>36058600
I feel scared and frustrated. Finally I have the resources to face my problems. I guess it can only get better from here. Apparently I am a schizo.

>>36060740
Youve figured out whats wrong and thats half the battle! With that information you can completely change the game, and hopefull you will. Things are going to look up anon just hang in!

>>36060626
fuck you too, I'm me