>when your mother says she loves you but you don't love

>>36021454
*back then

>>36021454
>He is being dishonest
Not the way to be senpai.

Mother left me at 15 with agressive, heartbroken, depressed stepfather.
Shit happened, at 22 ended up in psych ward.
Mother takes me out and i move in with her on her couch and her newest bf (8 years older than me).

At first she tried the classic wymyn drama, "we used to have such a close relationship and now you hate me whyyyyyyy waaaaaaaaa".

When i told her that i will never forgive her for how she left me to starve and go to waste back then, she said that she will NEVER feel bad or apologize for it.

Speaks for itself.

Been "living" here for about 9 months now. A month ago she tried her manipulative bullshit again. "We used to be so close, and now i feel nothing but cold and hatred from you". Yeah, DUH. What do you expect?

Bonus points:She left my half-sister when she was 2 and moved to this country.
I have no idea if sister is just playing a role or wearing a mask or whatever but she is pretty warm and loving towards my mother.

Also when my half-sister had a kid my mother didnt even visit because she needed to get her nails done instead.....

I realize that she done a lot of shit for me. But i also remember how she treated me and how she acted.

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>>36021454
i was always scared that i will never be able to really love someone
this is one of the main reason i want to kill my self
also the only friend i liked don't like me anymore
so i guess i will just spend my life alone

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>>36021454
Love is inherently irrational. You are not "soulless" you have overcame.

>>36021661
>>36021708
>>36021798
Already want to thank you for replying to my post.
It feels good to know that there are other people out there who share the same sorrows with you. Even though we are probably on the other side of the globe right now, we are still not completely alone on this earth.

All I want is to just escape from everything.
From these horrible people who have ruined my life.
I need to get away.

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>>36021661
Why do parents have so much power over their children?
It's sickening how many lives mothers and fathers turned into nightmares.

>>36021798
But whats the point of living if you got no one to live for?
Arent you just better off dead?