I just want the power to kill my enemies discreetly and easily

>>35985144
follow them around and learn their habits then poison them/their entire family

>>35985171
That's seems way too hands on though. I find it hard to believe you could do that and never get caught.

Dam Shei Thicc

>>35985214
you wanna kill people but you don't want to get your hands dirty?

>>35985316
I want to kill but not in such a way that I will get found out and get my ass pounded by bubba

And it'd it did have to come to that no matter what, I'd like to at the very least get everyone I want to.

>>35985144
Do you enjoy having a quiet life?

>>35985376
It doesn't matter much to me either way, why?

>>35985371
murder suicide is always an option

>>35985144
question is how and why are you in the position to have enemies that you want to kill that bad?

generally only people in positions of serious power have enemies that are even worth thinking about having killed if not it's pretty much negligble.

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lf you kiII your enemies, they win.

>>35985144

It's all about timing.

If it happens too soon, like if there's been some recent scuffle soon before, then it's too suspicious.

Wait a year or more, cut their brakes or something, or light some charcoal where they live.

>>35985437

John Mulaney has a standup comedy special, I think it's Comeback Kid, where he talks about this.

He says something like he never imagined how someone could ever want to murder someone. Then he got cheated on. "Oh, now I get it," he said.

>>35985144
Join the navy SEALs then

>>35985144
If they're normies, just leave them alone and they'll actively work to make themselves miserable. Eat right, exercise, and be better than them.

>>35985144
Put tiny bombs in their food.

>>35985144
I'm not trying to be edgy but it'd be prettt easy to kill someone and not get caught. Besides the obvious answer of hiring a hit on the deep web, well actually nvm I won't say anything else

>>35985631
Like that one episode of Roberto Esponja?

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>>35985376
This is most likely an original comment

>>35985645
>hitman on the deepweb
Get out

>>35985619
Most norms exercise though, and they're always eating salads and stuff. Plus they travel a lot plus have tons of people who love them

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>>35985144
Here you go. Here's a starting point.

>>35985751
So normie doesn't mean average, but just successful? I bet most /r9k/ users are generally closer to the mean than most they call normies.

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Get a stand like killer queen

Jokes on you OP you're on the FBI's list now. No quiet murder life for you, should've just tried to get Killer Queen like others suggested.