You're not a robot if: >you had sex >you had a blowjob

If you actually believe this le true robot bullshit, you're objectively new

You're here because we allowed you to be here. You're here because we like laughing and cringing and being disgusted by you. That's it. This isn't your board, you are the entertainment on our board and that's how it's always been. This thing you're doing right now, it's part of that entertainment, despite it being painfully old and boring.

>>35966380
>you are intelligent

Being not intelligent is normie tier. Robots are autistic and autism=intelligence. Owning a phone is not normie-tier and owning a console is robot-tier because all normies own a pc. So you can gtfo of my board.

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>>35966429
whatever you say, chadlet

>>35966434
>consoles being robot
Gaming on consoles is pleb tier

>>35966434

>he doesn't know the difference between assburgers and autism
>he thinks normies own pc's

5/10 had me reply.

>>35966380
took a shower this week
was born the normie way

but I mean I'm a tranny so I would assume it evens out

>>35966380
No what makes you a robot is a common bond of failure and inability to integrate into society in general.

>>35966454
And owning a pc means you are a rich fag. Which makes you a norman. Gtfo.

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>>35966380
>>you had sex no
>>you had a blowjob no
>>you have friends offline yes
>>you have normiebook yes
>>you have any social media yes
>>you are not a NEET yes
>>you are intelligent yes
>>you are tall yes
>>you are good looking no
>>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity yes
>>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count) yes
>>you're female no
>>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina yes?
>>you are at least content with your life no
>>you meme unironically yes
>>you are a phoneposter or own a phone yes
>>you own a console no
>>you took a shower this week yes

>>35966380
>you aren't a person who has not, best if never had, desire for sex
>you are integrated within society
>you didn't experience ego loss without pyschedelics
>you have many photos of you with your friends on normiebooks
>you have no horrible impossible IRL fetishes since you were a small child
>you have normie friends/normie gf

>>35966505

>only knows about alienware pc's
>doesn't know how to get games for free on pc

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>>35966380
originalaalksjfhalskjdm

>>35966666

sick get anon

congratulations.

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>>35966380
>>you had sex
yes
>>you had a blowjob
yes
>>you have friends offline
yes
>>you have normiebook
yes
>>you have any social media
yes
>>you are not a NEET
yes
>>you are intelligent
no
>>you are tall
nooooooooo
>>you are good looking
maybe
>>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
yes
>>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
yes, two days ago
>>you're female
no
>>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
no
>>you are at least content with your life
haha no
>>you meme unironically
meta-irony
>>you are a phoneposter or own a phone
i own a phone
>>you own a console
no
>>you took a shower this week
sure

How do fembots even deal with this shit? I mean at a certain point females learn to appreciate money and status more than looks, but males will always judge a woman based on her appearance

What's a fembot to do? Do they have the same, intense pent-up anger and bitterness?

>>35966666
I got 143 points. Neat.

>>35966380
>you had sex
yes
>you had a blowjob
Many
>you have friends offline
Tons
>you have normiebook
Never
>you have any social media
Yeah
>you are not a NEET
Never
>you are intelligent
Shockingly
>you are tall
Yes
>you are good looking
I give myself 9/11
>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
Almost dayly
>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
Almost dayly
>you're female
Eww no
>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
I am kind of fucked in the head but its controllable
>you are at least content with your life
...
>you meme unironically
I hate myself for that
>you are a phoneposter or own a phone
Oops
>you own a console
Vidya is degenerate
>you took a shower this week
Bi-dayly
I am kind of an amazing person but I fucking hate people. They disgust me. Especially women. 3/100 women are considerable human beings with a brain. What do i do robotinis? How does one live?

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>>35966380
OP you forgot
>not mentally ill
>not unironically retarded

fuck every single one of you
you all deserve to die

>>35966666
calm down penta satan

>>35966380
the worst people are the fucking normies who complain about their gfs

most others are ok but GFposters are insufferable

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>>35967040
you will never stop me, human!

>>35966380
thanks anon :)

oriririri

>>35966380
>you had sex
no
>you had a blowjob
no
>you have friends offline
no (and if you have friends online your a normie too normie)
>you have normiebook
no
>you have any social media
no
>you are not a NEET
no
>you are intelligent
no
>you are tall
being tall when your this bad is worse than being small and unnoticable
>you are good looking
no
>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
they did and i started attacking them whenever they tried (whats wrong with me)
>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
no
>you're female
no
>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
frogposter go now
>you are at least content with your life
>you meme unironically
no
>you are a phoneposter or own a phone
yes
>you own a console
yes
>you took a shower this week
nope

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> had sex with a girl for the first time this weekend at the ripe old age of 31.

Do I have to turn in my wizard card and do I get to keep my powers?

>>35966666
68 points wew
>nice numbers breh

>>35966666
68 wew lad
>also dem pentas

>>35966380
>tfw all of those except the phone and the console things
>phone is a broken landline thingy from mid-20th century
>console is a broken Fairchild Channel F
>tfw so close yet so far from being a robot

>>35966380
>you had sex
no
>you had a blowjob
no
>you have friends offline
no
>you have normiebook
no
>you have any social media
yes
>you are not a NEET
no
>you are intelligent
yes?
>you are tall
average
>you are good looking
average
>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
yes
>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
no
>you're female
no (except most online tests say I'm at least a bit)
>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
maybe
>you are at least content with your life
no
>you meme unironically
not much
>you are a phoneposter or own a phone
yes
>you own a console
no
>you took a shower this week
yes

Consoles are the master race now. PC is flooded with early access survival games created by transgender indie devs

>>35969416

I'll allow you to stay anon. I had mobile phones and new consoles (ps, xbox) in mind.

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>you had sex
N
>you had a blowjob
N
>you have friends offline
Y
>you have normiebook
Y
>you have any social media
Y
>you are not a NEET
N
>you are intelligent
Y?
>you are tall
6'1, ppl in my country are on average 6'2
>you are good looking
N
>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
Y
>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
N
>you're female
N
>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
N
>you are at least content with your life
Y, real robots don't care
>you meme unironically
N
>you are a phoneposter or own a phone
Y to both
>you own a console
360
>you took a shower this week
Y

Guess I'm not a robot, then, even though I'm a 20 year old KHHV NEET autist w/ schizophrenia

Your list is shit.

>>35966380
>you had sex
Y
>you had a blowjob
N
>you have friends offline
Y
>you have normiebook
Y
>you have any social media
Y
>you are not a NEET
Y
>you are intelligent
Y
>you are tall
N (5'7'')
>you are good looking
Y
>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
Y
>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
Y
>you're female
N
>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
Y
>you are at least content with your life
Y
>you meme unironically
N
>you are a phoneposter or own a phone
N
>you own a console
Y
>you took a shower this week
Y

Can't lie, I'm a normie

>>35966380
Well i dont apply to any of these but i have a gf. Am i still a robo?

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>you had sex
y
>you had a blowjob
y
>you have friends offline
y
>you have normiebook
y
>you have any social media
y
>you are not a NEET
working
>you are intelligent
y
>you are tall
6'3
>you are good looking
y
>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
y
>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
got one yesterday
>you're female
n
>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
y
>you are at least content with your life
y
>you meme unironically
n
>you are a phoneposter or own a phone
y
>you own a console
n
>you took a shower this week
y

>>35970707
>have a gf
Get out you don't belong on /r9k/. This is not the board for you.

>>35966850
>shockingly intelligent
>"dayly"
>GTFO retarded normie REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>35966380
>you had sex
Countless amounts of times
>you had a blowjob
Multiple
>you have friends offline
Yes.
>you have normiebook
Ofcourse.
>you have any social media
Facebook, Snapchat
>you are not a NEET
Happily
>you are intelligent
IQ is 163
>you are tall
6"1
>you are good looking
7,5-8/10
>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
Ofcourse, I have friends.
>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
Yup
>you're female
Nope
>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
Yes, over 30 woman so far.
>you are at least content with your life
It's ok, half half, don't wanna talk about it.
>you meme unironically
No.
>you are a phoneposter or own a phone
Doing it right now.
>you own a console
Ps2,3,4 .
>you took a shower this week
7 so far.

>>35966380
>you had sex
yes
>you had a blowjob
no
>you have friends offline
yes but few
>you have normiebook
yes
>you have any social media
yes
>you are not a NEET
yes
>you are intelligent
yes
>you are tall
yes
>you are good looking
not to me
>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
yes
>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
yes
>you're female
no
>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
gay, so no
>you are at least content with your life
barely content, yes
>you meme unironically
probably
>you are a phoneposter or own a phone
yes but i don't post from it
>you own a console
yes
>you took a shower this week
yes

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>you had sex
n
>you had a blowjob
n
>you have friends offline
y
>you have any social media
y
>you are not a NEET
y
>you are intelligent
I like to think so
>you are tall
5'4
>you are good looking
meh
>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
y
>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
y
>you're female
n
>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
y
>you are at least content with your life
y
>you meme unironically
y
>you are a phoneposter or own a phone
y
>you own a console
n pc masterrace
>you took a shower this week
y

shit guys looks like your unrealistic and rather depressing standards were too much for me guess I'll just go enjoy life

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>>35966380
>>you had sex
Y
>>you had a blowjob
Y
>>you have friends offline
N
>>you have normiebook
N
>>you have any social media
N
>>you are not a NEET
I am but not because I want to
>>you are intelligent
N
>>you are tall
Y
>>you are good looking
Y
>>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
Y
>>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
Y
>>you're female
N
>>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
Y
>>you are at least content with your life
N
>>you meme unironically
Y
>>you are a phoneposter or own a phone
Y
>>you own a console
N
>>you took a shower this week
N
I belong here

>>35966380
Some people would argue that if you only ever received the first two by paying for it, you're still a robot.

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>>35966666
Seven points. I wish I were human

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>>35966666
>tfw 38

>>35966666
>>35966666
>TFW 131
Feels good man.

>>35966380
>>you had sex
Lost my virginity at 39.
>>you had a blowjob
Nope.
>>you have friends offline
Nope.
>>you have normiebook
Nope.
>>you have any social media
Nope.
>>you are not a NEET
I don't work anymore.
>>you are intelligent
I'm probably average.
>>you are tall
Nope.
>>you are good looking
Nope.
>>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
Nope.
>>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
Nope.
>>you're female
Nope.
>>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
WTF? You mean I was hatched from an egg or something?
>>you are at least content with your life
Yeah, basically.
>>you meme unironically
Nope.
>>you are a phoneposter or own a phone
Nope.
>>you own a console
Nope.
>>you took a shower this week
Yup.

My high number of nopes and long-time former wizard status qualifies me as a robot.

>>35972303
146 here mayn

>>35966429
The old board was deleted and the new iteration is pretty much a containment board for robots. You seem like a newfag.

>>35966380
>you had sex
Not yet
>you had a blowjob
Yes
>you have friends offline
Yes
>you have normiebook
Only for communication purposes, don't post anything
>you have any social media
Only the before mentioned normiebook
>you are not a NEET
In school
>you are intelligent
Arguable
>you are tall
6'2"
>you are good looking
Below average/ sometimes average
>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
Many times I don't see this one being a serious question
>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
Few times
>you're female
No
>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
Yes
>you are at least content with your life
No
>you meme unironically
Yes
>you are a phoneposter or own a phone
Yes
>you own a console
Yes
>you took a shower this week
Took one this morning

How did I do robots? I feel these questions aren't the right ones to figure out if someone is a robot or not

>>35966380
>>you had sex
lol no
>>you had a blowjob
lol no
>>you have friends offline
yup
>>you have normiebook
lol no
>>you have any social media
well, yes but..
>>you are not a NEET
no, just because i'm in uni now
>>you are intelligent
I don't think so
>>you are tall
king of manlets
>>you are good looking
I don't break mirrors but i'm not handsome
>>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
Yes, once, and I wish that never happened
>>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
No
>>you're female
Don't make me dream
>>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
nope
>>you are at least content with your life
nope
>>you meme unironically
Maybe i'm ironic, or not
>>you are a phoneposter or own a phone
I don't know why that should make me a robot, i have phone for security issues
>>you own a console
Do I look like a pleb?
>>you took a shower this week
It's not about being a robot, It's about hygiene

>>35966380

>you had sex
never

>you had a blowjob
never

>you have friends offline
I have several

>you have normiebook
I have and I am very active on it

>you have any social media
i use also whatsapp and instagram

>you are not a NEET
I live with my parents and I study don't know if i am a neet or not

>you are intelligent
I am a genius

>you are tall
'5''4 manlet here

>you are good looking
I am

>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
i have several girl friends

>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
once a girl said i had a nice build

>you're female
i'm a guy

>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
born the normie way

>you are at least content with your life
i am not

>you meme unironically
?

>you are a phoneposter or own a phone
I own a phone and i have clover installed on it

>you own a console
I own a Ps2 and a Gamecube

>you took a shower this week
I didn't

>>35966380
>Sex
No
>BJ
No
>Friends offline
They're over 1000 miles away
>Normiebook/social media
Doesn't make you a normie, all you have to do is click some buttons to make accounts
>Not a NEET
Student so sort of a NEET
>Intelligent
Fuck off, being intelligent makes you MORE of a robot if anything
>Tall
Stop this meme you insecure manlet
>Good looking
Average probably
>Non-family member female has talked to you without it being a necessity
That's happened to 95+% of people on this board, guaranteed.
>Received a compliment on your looks
No
>Female
No
>Born the normie way
Lel
>At least content with your life
Not really
>Meme unironically
No
>Phoneposter
A phone is pretty much a necessity in the modern world
>Own a console
How does going to the store and buying something make you a normie?
>Took a shower this week
Again true of at least 95% of all robots

>>35966666
79 points..... i dont belong anywhere

>>35966380
>you are not a NEET
>you are not a virgin
These should pretty much be the only requirements for getting banned

Sex and blowjobs should only count if you've had either of them at least ONCE on your own merits. If you've only paid for them then you're still a robot for taking the easy way out.

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>>35966380

>mfw you can have all of those things and still be fucking miserable

Human existence is the true suffering.

>>35972628
Disagree, if you can find a prostitute and pay for sex without getting embarrassed you're not a robot

>>35969416
You have a fuckin Channel F? Not even a goddamn 2600?

>>35966429

this.

r9k wasnt about freaks it was about not fitting on or no gf

>>35972660

This. A true robot would know this.

>>35972654
>t. normie scum

>>35972660
>without getting embarrassed

You can be both horny and embarrassed you know. The first almost always wins out over the second, at the time, then the second comes back full force after it's done.

I speak from experience.

>>35966429
>>35972682
I love you autists holding a seance for a board that doesn't exist anymore in every single thread.
This was your board once, it's ours now, gtfo

>>35972734
I've never been horny enough to go out and find a hooker instead of just masturbating. If you can deal with the inherent awkwardness of the situation you sound like a normie

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>>35966429

Whatcha gonna do about it oldfag? You can't stop me from posting on my iPhone 7 here after I fuck my girlfriend.

>>35972743
YOU FUCKING NORMIES RUIN EVERYTHING

>>35972775
Read the posts, I was responding to normies who think this is their board

>>35966666
39 points....shit

>>35972793
>autists
>was referring to normies
Uh, okie doke

>>35972763
After a while though masturbating and watching porn hardly has the same effect, you'll want and need actual human contact and flesh. Unless you want to edge for like six hours to have 10% of the effect you used to have from jerking off years ago.

It's not that hard to "deal with" once you get to that point.

>>35966380
Intelligent people on average are less happy, why the fuck would intelligence disqualify one from robothood?
Also fuck you, showering is comfy

>>35972826
Alright I linked to their posts, not my fault if you can't read

you're not a robot if you use any OS other than gnu+linux or bsd

R9K used to be good back when it was feels: the board rather than a place where people race each other to the bottom of human worthlessness.

>>35966474
show me, cunt

>you had sex
no
>you had a blowjob
no
>you have friends offline
I have foster brothers that live 900 miles away from me
>you have a normiebook
yeah
>you have any social media
4chan is a social media you dumb fuck
>you are not a neet
no
>you are intelligent
IQ is 117
>you are tall 6'0"
>you are good looking
hell no
>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
nope
>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
no
>you're a female
nope
>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
I was a C-section ;)
>you are at least content with your life
no
>you meme unironically
i'm on 1,200,634,888 layers of irony as we speak
>you are a phone poster or own a phone
i'm not a phoneposter but I have a phone. 99.9% of the time I use it to listen to music
>you own a console
yes
>you took a shower this week
that just seems lazy

>>35972938
>Hurrr back in my dayyyyy
No one cares what you think gramps

>>35966380
>>you have friends offline
Fuck you having friends at all means youre a normie

>>35972256
Where did you get the points?

>>35972834
The fact that you did so means that you're not a robot. Robots will just keep delving deeper and deeper into a porn spiral.

You were naked with and had sex with a woman at least once, doesn't matter how it happened but that it did. So get out.

>>35966666
35 here, why am I reddit because of just a single point
I hate myself

>>35966666
109
Can probably get another +12~18 points within the next couple years.
Feels good to be working towards a better life.

>>35966666
78 but "cyborgs" are a nonexistent meme

>>35966666
I got 15 points

what the hell? I'm not even that weird

>>35966380
I'm willing to bet my life (hah it has no value anyway) that you're atleast one of these things or you're just an underage.

>you had sex
no
>you had a blowjob
no
>you have friends offline
yes
>you have normiebook
yes but I never use it
>you have any social media
yes
>you are not a NEET
I go to uni
>you are intelligent
No
>you are tall
no
>you are good looking
no
>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
yes
>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
yes
>you're female
no
>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
no
>you are at least content with your life
no
>you meme unironically
no
>you are a phoneposter or own a phone
How is owning a phone being a normie?
>you own a console
I have a PS2 and my brother's Xbox 360
>you took a shower this week
I'm a clean virgin

>>35973010
Don't smoke weed
No addiction to any other drugs
Socialize at least once a week
Have material items to be proud of
Have no interest in tabletop gaming

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>you had sex
Y
>you had a blowjob
Actually too many to remember
>you have friends offline
Y
>you have normiebook
Only use it for messaging
>you have any social media
Y
>you are not a NEET
Y
>you are intelligent
I guess
>you are tall
5'11
>you are good looking
Occasionally
>a non-family member female has ever talked to you without it being a necessity
Y
>you have received a compliment on your looks (mommy doesn't count)
Y
>you're female
N
>you were born the normie way and therefore your penis has been inside a vagina
Y
>you are at least content with your life
N
>you meme unironically
N
>you are a phoneposter or own a phone
Y
>you own a console
Like four
>you took a shower this week
Today

Do I leave now or...